13 August

Well, after not writing for a few days, it seems I have some catching up to do. I spent my third day in Kunming trying to get the Bamboo Temple, (Qiongzhu si) which, through a combination of inaccurate guidebook, map and bus service, I was unable to do. I eventually changed plans and went to Jindian Temple instead, which was a long bus ride, taxi ride and walk away. The temple was really a JAFT (Just Another F*ckin' Temple) but the walk was nice and tranquil. I had planned to go to Dali that night, but, after a conversation with the Kunming Expats in City Cafe I found out that all the trains were already booked solid. Ho hum. Earlier in the day I'd schlepped to the station, but had an attack of the "can't be bothered"s when I saw the queues. By now, staying in the Camellia Hotel (Huacha Bingguan) was starting to burn a hole in my wallet, and after some expat-to-expat advice, I checked into the Yunnan Machinery Hotel (Yunnan Jiqi Binguan), which was actually a lot better than it sounded (hardly a gargantuan feat, admittedly) and discovered a good deal at 118 RMB a night for a "mini room" which had one of the best showers I've found in China to date.

The next day I returned to City Cafe to book a sleeper bus ticket to Dali, then, having time to kill, finally found out how to get to the Bamboo Temple. Pretty underwhelming really. With all my temple fatigue I couldn't even be bothered to seek out the unicorn-riding, wave-surfing arhat, in all his psychedelic glory. Next was Kunming's famous Green Lake (cuihu) which was surprisingly impressive. Throughout the park they had local entertainers -- opera singers, erhu players, leaf blowers, dancers, orchestras. It's a great place to just spend a few hours and walk around. Some of the stuff was pretty amazing, and it was nice to see an erhu player who was just practicing for fun, and not hassling you for money. I'm still trying to learn to play the leaf myself... It's definitely one of the nicest places I've been to in Kunming, and not to be missed. After enjoying the park for a few hours I headed back to the city centre to catch my bus. I waited patiently at City Cafe at 9:30 for said bus, and was pretty bewildered (although not too surprised...this is China, after all) when 9:30 had ticked past and it still hadn't shown. I asked the old guy behind the counter about it, and he desperately urged me into a taxi to the bus station. It all seemed a bit fishy really, but what choice did I have? Luckily, we arrived at the station at about 9:50, not long before the scheduled 10:00 departure time.

I got bundled onto a bus full of cramped bunks, mostly full of sleepy looking locals. The bunks were thin, cramped and seemed built by someone who'd grasped the basic concepts of a human body, but never actually seen one. The head end had a 45 degree incline, which would probably have resulted in my walking with a major stoop had I managed to get much sleep. Anyway, 10:00 came and went, as did 10:30, 10:45 and 11:00. By this time I was wondering what the Hell was going on and getting pretty sick of the inane movie playing over the in-bus TV. Finally, at about 11:15, we started moving.

Calling that bus a sleeper was one of the biggest misnomers I've ever heard. Sleep was the last thing on my mind as I endured a cacophony of people eating melon seeds, Terminator 2 playing in Chinese and the conversation of the driver and his mate, a couple of people who wouldn't know an "inside voice" if it slapped them in the face. The first few hours consisted of just that, interrupted by seemingly random stops and the flickering on and off of the interior lights. The worst parts were the brief moments of silence, just long enough that you start to believe that this is it, the moment when they've grown a brain and realised that they're not the only ones on the bus. And then...

Driver: Durka durka!
Mate: Uh!
Driver: Durka durka?
Mate: Uh!
Driver: Durka!
Me (screaming silently into pillow, thin air and at everything within screaming distance): F*cking shut the f*cking f*ck up!

We arrived in Dali at about 5:30am, and, along with another foreigner from the bus, took a cab to the nearest guesthouse. After the driver (who was evidently still in bed when senses of direction were being handed out) let us off by the wrong guesthouse, we went for a stroll around town to kill the time and find a better place to spend the night. We ended up standing on the city wall and watching the sunrise over the mountains, which was pretty damn spectacular, especially with the bat-filled tower behind us. Following that, we ate breakfast at the Friendship Inn, run by members of the Bai minority, which makes up about 80% of the population of Dali. One of the cool things about Yunnan is that traditional dress isn't just a gimmick for the tourists, but for many people, part of their everyday life, as could be seen in the traditional blue shirts and patterned aprons of the Bai.

My newfound friend, Thomas, later checked into that inn, as did I, after checking out other places around town. It was by no means the cleanest, but it was friendly and pretty cheap, at about 60 RMB per night for a double room. Just not the kind of place to stay if the thought of sharing your bathroom with the odd ant is a major turn-off.

Dali, with its pedestrianized old city centre, is a really cool and relaxing place. Through the middle of the town there's a stream full of waterfalls running down Honglongjing Road, which means some good excuses to take photos and sit down, watching the world go by. Later that day, we walked to the Three Pagodas, which was a bit of a trek over an increasingly muddy track. In retrospect, we should've taken one of the many horse and carts on offer, but what the hell. We lived to tell the tale, though I'm not sure whether my shoes did. They'll never be the same again. Unfortunately, the price for entrance was a whopping 52 RMB, so we just gave it a miss in the end, the waste of a very nice pair of loafers. C'est la vie and all that.

All was not lost, however. After that disappointment, we took a boat ride around Erhai Lake, did a bit of praying to Buddha and drank rather a lot of beer. This temple was a lot more impressive than the others, partly because people were actually performing ceremonies, partly because I could show off my knowledge of how to pray to Buddha, and partly because most things seem more impressive after a couple of beers or so, drank in the temple grounds. I was surprised at my nonchalance at praying to Buddha, finding it inconceivable that other people might not know how to do it. Yet another sign I've been in this country too long. After the temple, the boat set sail to a small island in the middle of the lake, for which they wanted another 10 RMB entrance fee. By this time we were fed up with paying, even if it was to see a "traditional" Bai village. I kind of regret it in retrospect, but it's not a huge deal since I saw more realistic villages later on.

By this time we were pretty exhausted and wandered back to the inn to recuperate, followed by dinner and a few more drinks with some of the other guests we bumped into. I was feeling a bit lonely in Kunming, so it was nice to hang out with some newfound friends in Dali. That night my eyes shut as soon as my head hit the pillow and I got a well-deserved 40+ winks.

This, in a roundabout kind of way, brings us to today. It's been my most chilled out day so far. I've wandered the streets, bought a little fabric, chatted with friends, and that's pretty much it, bar fulfilling my onerous duties as a good Samaritan by acting as an impromptu translator for the hotel staff.