By Neil Hsu

Ok, so I've been a little (a lot) lax and lazy. I should have posted this right away, but due to my inherent procrastinating nature, I've let over three weeks past. Ed's been suggesting I post it as soon as possible, so I've finally sat down and decided to put my experience down in print. It was about two weeks ago on a Tuesday night. I had just returned from out of town on Monday and was still a bit fatigued. My friend's 30th birthday was this night so despite being a bit tired, I came out to help celebrate his birthday with dinner at 239 and then drinks at Pier One's Monsoon. The night was going well and we were enjoying the evening at Monsoon's new roof top lounge. The high temperatures had not yet hit Shanghai and the evening was very pleasant. I was able to stay fairly alert and awake until around 1am when I started getting a bit loopy. Bidding my farewells, I go downstairs and begin to look for a cab. Not really finding one, I walk over to Jiang Ning Lu and catch a cab as they come off the small bridge going south over Suzhou creek.

As I get into a blue cab, I tell the cab driver the address and he confirms and repeats the address back to me.As we pull away from the curb, another cab almost sideswipes us. The driver and I exchange comments about how dangerous that other driver is. The other cab seems to have taken offense somehow and seems to want to cause a scene. Since we're right next to the curb, the way he's angled in, my cab can't proceed forward. Both cab drivers exchange phrases in Shanghainese, which I really don't follow. My driver says something to the extent of 'screw this guy' and starts to back up. Amazingly, the other cab backs up too! Is this purely a coincidence? Was he backing out to let us out? My cabbie throws the cab into forward and tries to drive away. What's going on! The other cab goes forward too! Maybe we should just stop and let the other cab drive away. That thought is quickly dashed as my cabbie reverses again and so does the other! All the while, both drivers are shouting at each other in Shanghainese. I tell my cabbie that the other driver is crazy and he concurs. We back up again, this time riding up onto the curb and the other driver follows!

Damn... he's not only crazy, he's insane. I tell my driver to ignore him and just drive forward; the other cab won't dare hit us. I quickly snap a photo of the back of the other cab... in case he does hit us.My cab takes my advice in stride and floors it. We shoot forward and leave the other cab in our dust... ha ha! We've beat him...What's this? My cab driver is taking a right turn at the first intersection! But it's a one-way street.... going the wrong way! We're still going pretty fast. What's going on?!??!? We're now going down the one way street with oncoming traffic at about 40 mph or 65 kph... pretty fast for these narrow streets and busy streets of Shanghai. It's literally like a movie where we're swerving to avoid cars, scooters, pedestrians and carts full of fruit. All that was missing were a couple of guys moving large mirrors or panes of glass. I throw my head back! Holy crap... the other cabbie is right on our tail! Dodging and swerving as well.

What's going on? Did my cab driver sleep with his wife or daughter? Something really must be up. After dodging a couple more oncoming cars, my driver takes another right and we're going the right way, although there's no more traffic. About to hit Suzhou creek, he makes another quick left and we're on Yi Chang Lu again, driving west, only a couple blocks from where we started. Sure enough, the other cab is still following closely and now that there's nothing to dodge, he quickly overtakes us and forces my cab to stop by doing almost a movie stunt by slamming on the brakes and boxing our cab in. My driver seems dejected as the other cab driver jumps out of his cab and sprints over to my driver's door. My driver opens his door to try to stand and argue with the other driver in Shanghainese, but the 'crazy' cabbie jumps on top of him in the driver's seat and starts holding him down. This is getting too weird and both cab drivers tell me to get out... I don't argue. I get out.

Looking in the cab, I see my driver try to start the cab and drive away, but the other cab is still blocking him in. He manages to inch forward all while the other "crazy" driver is sitting on him with the door open. We're starting to draw an audience and a local resident comes out. We both stand and watch, doing nothing while the two drivers struggle with each other. Damn... I'm becoming local. I ask my fellow gawker what he thinks is going on. He tells me to take a look at the license plates. I look. What the hell? Both cars have identical license numbers. What is going on? Hmmm... I wonder if the front plates are also the same. I walk around and sure enough... identical. I assume the "real" cab is the one driven by the "crazy" cabbie and the fake one with the stolen or counterfeit plates must be the one I got in.

The "crazy" cabbie is trying to use his cell phone while holding the other guy down. He's trying to call the police but he's not having much luck. He tells me to take his phone and call the police for him. Hell no! I don't want to get involved. The most I do is go over to his side of the cab. I see his pants are almost torn apart. Cheap pants. Suddenly he drops his phone. He calls over to me again to help him pick up his phone and call the 110 for the police. I finally let my western upbringing take over and go over and pick up the phone and dial 110. What do I tell the police? He tells me to tell them where they're at. I have no idea. The phone is ringing and someone comes on the line. I quickly hand it to my fellow audience member. Forcing him to take an active roll, he tells the cops where we're at. Yichang Lu and Shanxi Bei Lu. Damn. I knew that. Oh well, our part is done.

More interested parties are appearing. Some of them wearing pajamas... now don't get started.. It's past 1am and they SHOULD be in pajamas... Fortunately none of them come out naked. Other taxis are starting to pull up to watch the spectacle too. Fortunately it's not daytime otherwise it'd be a mob. Even so, there are about 4 additional cabs and maybe 10 spectators milling around. I talk to the original audience member and we remark how lucky this driver was able to find the thief of his plates in such a big city with so many cars. He tells me that the other cab driver is probably furious because all the traffic infractions incurred by the fake cab is attributed to his cab and he's probably getting multiple daily fines for driving infractions he's not responsible for. Ahhh... I realize he's probably losing tons of money paying the fines. Of course he's furious and crazy enough to pursue us in a high-speed chase.

In about 5 minutes, a gong an police cruiser pulls up and two cops climb out. Immediately my driver stops struggling and the "crazy" driver gets up and stops trying to restrain him. He tells his story to the cops, the cops take a good look at both license plates and the remarkable similarity in both cars. The older and senior looking cop looks at my driver who's now got out of his cab and standing along side it and tells him to get in the back of the police car. No handcuffs or even an escort into the cruiser. The guy's shoulders drop and he slumps over to the back seat of the police car and lets himself in.

Wow... Law enforcement is a lot different here.The "crazy" driver gets in his cab and the senior police gets in the fake cab and his subordinate gets in the cruiser. Looks like they're all going to the police station. Suddenly the senior officer jumps out and yells at the "crazy" driver. The driver gets out and starts rustling around the driver compartment of the fake cab. Looks like he's looking for something. Not finding anything there, he starts looking all over the interior of the cab. The senior officer yells something to the driver in the back of the cruiser and comes back with no result. The "crazy" driver keeps on looking for something and after a few more minutes, yells back at the cop. The cop goes back to the prisoner and yells at him again. Displaying an annoyed countenance, the fake cabbie stomps out of the police car, reaches into his pocket and hands the keys to the officer. He had them after all. They all get back into their respective cars and all drive off. I find out later that these cabs are called black heart cars or black cars for short. Wow... What an experience.