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Shanghai Expat Forum Index » City Living Forums » Questions and Answers

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findus

Fire-eater

Joined: Feb 03, 2004
Posts: 2859

Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 10:46 AM

Living in a foreign country that is significantly different from your native country is, I find, a rollercoaster of tolerance/intolerance - you have periods where you skip along gleefully shrugging your shoulders at the negative differences, interspersed with periods where your blood boils at these same things. These periods can last months, week, days, hours, minutes.

For me it's not dealing with the negative differences (they are always going to be there, and on reflection should always be celebrated), it's dealing with the rollercoaster.

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alixiw

Reacher

Joined: June 19, 2009
Posts: 352

Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 10:50 AM

SindbadMalone wrote:

ok, how many people get shot in NY and how many here in
Shanghai. Maybe you don't see crimes in the Hamptons
or Central Park Vest. Even Soho and the Villlage are pretty
Quiet. I used to live in the Bronx. Stayed in Brooklyn,
Newark and many other places. Don't tell me it aint rough there.
Any where compared to a lot of cities of the same size Shanghai
is a lot better.

And maybe I'm repeating myself.
If you don't like it, then leave.

I, personally, was not referring to crime (and not referring to the NYC metro area- as in Newark, New Jersey ).

I was referring to the spitting, farting, burping, pissing/shiiting in the street, shoving, pushing, lying and cheating- just basic lack of social skills. All things that go on here. in shanghai. not NYC (except Chinatown- ok-just kidding).

But I take it, that these manners/behaviors are ones that you agree with? So nobody can comment on these things without you (whoever you are) to say "if you don't like it, leave". That's pretty un-evolved.

PARAGUAY

Seeker

Joined: Aug 28, 2008
Posts: 42

Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 11:04 AM

If things are so great here,why do corrupt politicians run off to the west,rather than countries that share their view,s example N.korea,Burma,Laos,or Vietnam, these folks can thank the west for automobiles,airplanes,computers,tv,elect, I could go on and on. What has China given the world,gun powder? Nothing else comes to mind unless you count,poisin tooth paste,poisin pet food, milk that kills,etc,etc.

SindbadMalone

Barker

Joined: Jan 03, 2009
Posts: 148
Location: Shanghai/China
Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 11:20 AM

@Paraguay

Don't complain. Buy tickets, pack your bags and leave.

There are enough people who love it here.

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上海国际快乐离开有限公司

Kiwi

Board Lord

Joined: May 07, 2003
Posts: 5254

Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 11:39 AM

ziccawei wrote:

Chinese people have been spoon-fed the notion that China has 5,000 years of history while the rest of the world is still in nappies/diapers and they believe it 100%.

And the incredible thing is that a huge percentage of non-Chinese believe exactly the same thing. . .

Repeat a lie often enough and it becomes the new truth.

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Rhum and Voodoo

PARAGUAY

Seeker

Joined: Aug 28, 2008
Posts: 42

Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 11:42 AM

If the truth hurts,so be it,5000 years of,what? I,ve lived in 11 countries (define living as minimum one year). This place is the stuff of late night comedy.

SindbadMalone

Barker

Joined: Jan 03, 2009
Posts: 148
Location: Shanghai/China
Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 12:00 PM

@Paraguay

Don't complain. Buy tickets, pack your bags and leave.

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上海国际快乐离开有限公司

jzzzzzzz

StreetBeater

Joined: July 07, 2006
Posts: 2300

Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 12:05 PM

SM, i'm going to come and dump on your doorstep.

If you don't like it, then leave.

tihZ_hO
Shanghai Royalty

Joined: Feb 17, 2004
Posts: 8871
Location: Jakarta - I got Paroled from Shanghai

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 12:18 PM

Chinese have 5000 years of unbroken history. China is the only civilisation in the world that its history, language and its culture can be traced from its earliest beginnings straight through the present.

Yes, 5000 years is a long time to still be behind the rest of the world. This is something not to brag about. Wink

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"I can throw toilet paper into the toilet again! Thank you GTFO of China(tm)!!"

jzzzzzzz

StreetBeater

Joined: July 07, 2006
Posts: 2300

Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 12:25 PM

ziccawei wrote:

I pointed out to a Chinese person that Stonehenge is believed by scientists (using carbon testing) to be more than 4,000 years old. 'Impossible', came the reply.

It's now thought the first stage of the monument was constructed earlier than 3000 BC - more than 5000 years ago.

LifeMage
Post Roaster

Joined: Sep 30, 2005
Posts: 4503
Location: In the world...... but not of it.

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 12:41 PM

Listen....we are walking down the fvkcing same streets, seeing the fvkcing shite, eating the same fvkcing food, experiencing the same fvkcing things, having the same fvkcing issues.

This thread (read the OP) is about HOW WE DEAL WITH IT. So, instead of posting about how much we dislike certain aspects of "living in China" OR offering the standard response (if you don't like it...leave). How about something constructive!?

LIKE....HOW DO YOU COPE WITH IT!?

How do you get through the day?

Do you bash your head against the wall every time a granny elbows you in the ribs?
Do you pretend it never happened?
Do you adapt and adjust?
Do you laugh it off?

WHAT!?

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Kiwi

Board Lord

Joined: May 07, 2003
Posts: 5254

Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 12:46 PM

tihZ_hO wrote:

The age of the writing system is closer to 3500 years. . .

So 5000 years of 'unbroken history' is clearly garbage. 'History' requires a written record.

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Rhum and Voodoo

victorinchina

Board Royalty

Joined: Jan 17, 2009
Posts: 7821
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 12:55 PM

LifeMage wrote:

offering the standard response (if you don't like it...leave).

Also known as "The SindbadMalone"

realtrueblue

Reacher

Joined: Oct 19, 2006
Posts: 297
Location: here
Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 12:56 PM

LifeMage wrote:

Listen....
This thread (read the OP) is about HOW WE DEAL WITH IT. So, instead of posting about how much we dislike certain aspects of "living in China" OR offering the standard response (if you don't like it...leave). How about something constructive!?
LIKE....HOW DO YOU COPE WITH IT!?
How do you get through the day?
Do you bash your head against the wall every time a granny elbows you in the ribs?
Do you pretend it never happened?
Do you adapt and adjust?
Do you laugh it off?
WHAT!?

Exactly. That what we want to know.
Thank you for guiding my thread back on-topic.

jzzzzzzz

StreetBeater

Joined: July 07, 2006
Posts: 2300

Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 01:05 PM

Andreas answered your question in the first reply.

You are not going to change this place so lower your expectations. Also find the things you enjoy and do them more often! Very Happy

victorinchina

Board Royalty

Joined: Jan 17, 2009
Posts: 7821
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 01:12 PM

^ Spot on...

You will also (I did anyway) after some time find that it is the same situations that trickers you every time.
So make some adjustments so you avoid those situations, or at least cut them down to a minimum.
There's a couple of things I would take care of back home, that I now leave to my Mrs.
I compensate by doing other stuff for her instead.

alixiw

Reacher

Joined: June 19, 2009
Posts: 352

Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 01:30 PM

Personally for me, being probably a naturally high strung person anyway, and Shanghai being the worst locale for such a person, I just needed to relax. I"m not here by choice so I have to learn how to deal or become someone I don't like.

So I go for massages a lot and even acupuncture once (or twice) a week- which really helps me to relax a lot. Because I'm not about to try to start changing anything in China except me (the way I see things, what I get pissed off about etc). I try to be pleasant as much as I can, just figuring that I will never see that person again too (thank god usually).

realtrueblue

Reacher

Joined: Oct 19, 2006
Posts: 297
Location: here
Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 01:32 PM

victorinchina wrote:

You will also (I did anyway) after some time find that it is the same situations that trickers you every time. .

Right, but they, especially the old ones are very inventive in finding new ways to catch me.

victorinchina wrote:

So make some adjustments so you avoid those situations, or at least cut them down to a minimum.

Right again. That's why I go to Carrefour instead of wetmarket. And that's why I switch on my GPS when I am in a taxi.
Pure technical solutions for a social problem...

Yesterday, I was in a hurry to go to a place near to Hongqiao airport. I asked the driver: "你知道了吗？" He replied: "知道" but i could see the desperation in his eyes. Coming from the South at Zhaojiabang lu, he turned right! I just opend the door and left without payment.

tihZ_hO
Shanghai Royalty

Joined: Feb 17, 2004
Posts: 8871
Location: Jakarta - I got Paroled from Shanghai

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 02:34 PM

Kiwi wrote:

tihZ_hO wrote:

The age of the writing system is closer to 3500 years. . .

So 5000 years of 'unbroken history' is clearly garbage. 'History' requires a written record.

Ok 3500 years then. Rolling Eyes

Do you always overreact? Why not grab a Citrus Mash Lager and chill. Very Happy

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"I can throw toilet paper into the toilet again! Thank you GTFO of China(tm)!!"

Last edited by tihZ_hO on July 02, 2009 - 03:49 PM; edited 1 time in total

waingro

Reacher

Joined: Nov 06, 2006
Posts: 243

Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 03:05 PM

PARAGUAY wrote:

If the truth hurts,so be it,5000 years of,what? I,ve lived in 11 countries (define living as minimum one year). This place is the stuff of late night comedy.

Amen to that!

waingro

Reacher

Joined: Nov 06, 2006
Posts: 243

Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 03:12 PM

alixiw wrote:

So I go for massages a lot

Cheap massage. Another thing to put in the "Positive" column!

Kiwi

Board Lord

Joined: May 07, 2003
Posts: 5254

Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 03:52 PM

tihZ_hO wrote:

Kiwi wrote:

tihZ_hO wrote:

The age of the writing system is closer to 3500 years. . .

So 5000 years of 'unbroken history' is clearly garbage. 'History' requires a written record.

Ok 3500 years then. Rolling Eyes

Do you always overreact? Why not grab a Citrus Mash Lager and chill. Very Happy

Just fighting the good fight amigo. . .

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Rhum and Voodoo

ziccawei

Board Royalty

Joined: Sep 12, 2008
Posts: 6804
Location: Ziccawei
Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 04:00 PM

LifeMage wrote:

Most of the time I can shrug it off.

However, if I'm faced with a gross act of stupidity/negligence/incompetence I flare up very quickly, shout and bang the desk or something, get the sh*t taken care of and calm down immediately.

I never used to be like this before coming to China.

I like living here, but it is a bit like People's Republic of Children sometimes and sometimes the kids need a good telling off.

'Fight fire with gasoline' a friend of mine says about dealing with sh*t in China. If you're polite/courteous no-one will take you seriously or they may hope you go away. Kick stuff over and throw glasses at the wall and you get results.

I wish Underho was here, he gave me some stirling advice about this when I needed it a few months back.

Cool

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We had access to too much money, too much equipment, and little by little, we went insane.

prego2000

Reacher

Joined: Feb 27, 2008
Posts: 291

Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 07:08 PM

Quote:

LIKE....HOW DO YOU COPE WITH IT!?

How do you get through the day?

Do you bash your head against the wall every time a granny elbows you in the ribs?
Do you pretend it never happened?
Do you adapt and adjust?
Do you laugh it off?

WHAT!?

I've had enough of the chub, so Monday I quit the shen jian bao and ice cream diet cold turkey in favor of my previous paleo gig. The sugar crash is pretty bad first day. Came home for lunch. Not one but two jackalopes were drilling out a concrete cave downstairs. I started throwing things, especially when my omelet started sticking to the pan. I remembered my mom had left me her stash of Lorazepam from her visit last year. One pill did the trick...temporarily.

About four psychosis free hours later, after work, I got in a cab with a really nice driver who even taught me some useful small talk in Shanghaihua. It was one of those times when you're glad to be alive and everything in China is for the moment ungray, unbad, and unannoying. I stopped in an All Days to grab a drink for me and the girlfriend. Some dickless swine jumped me in line and the bitch rang him up first. The Lorazepam had just run out. When it runs out, you temporarily sink lower than you were before, but only if something tips you off. I stood there for ten seconds like in a cartoon when Yosemite Sam or whoever is filling to the brim with red and steam comes out his ears. 5000 year-old bitch rang me up and dude left the shop. Then the idea came to me. I would kill him. I told the bag lady to have sex with herself and ran outside to feed the swine a dinner of his own teeth. Lucky him (and especially me) he had apparently ducked into an alleyway or something, having a gay old laugh at my expense.

The fruitless manhunt gave me time enough to realize that I was going crazy, and that I seriously needed to get a hold of myself. I couldn't walk to my place and cool down, because there were probably two hundred Chinese people between here and there and at least five or ten would either stop in front of me to cycle through all his ring tones at full volume, or sneak up from behind in one of those electric reapers and knock me under the wheels of a speeding blue construction truck. So I chose (wisely, I think) to melt into the nearest cubby and stare at my shoes, drinking my Suntory, concentrating on getting my blood pressure under control. It worked. After ten minutes, I was good enough to make it back to my place, where thankfully the drillers had ceased their excavation.

Morals of story:
1. The drugs only work if you intend on making an addiction out of it.
2. There's nowhere to get some goddam hassle free peace and quiet in this country.
3. I still love being here, even if some days are really really bad.

DrShanghai

Raver

Joined: Nov 06, 2005
Posts: 425
Location: everywhere
Status: Offline

Posted: July 02, 2009 - 09:09 PM

I have lived in many countries over the years as well, including Mexico, which by the way is very much like China in so many ways. I'm not going to even try to explain the Chinese collective mind, because it is matter of perspective.
I love China(being retired), I would not want to have to work here, and be in system.
I have done that in other countries, and it can become stress producing very quickly.
As much as I hate taking a cab, they are cheap, and My Chinese wife makes sure they don't cheat us. If I had to take the Metro everyday I would probably have killed some one already.
I would suggest step out side of your metal state, and go on auto pilot( which is what most Chinese do) If fact quite often that is what is thought to be rudeness is just the way they deal with life.
There are a lot of really nice things about living in Shanghai. Most of us here by choice.
Being happy is really a personal choice.
I start every day with being grateful, you don't need to look very far to realize how lucky you are.
OK enough rambling