Why marry a Shanghainese? Are there any advantages?
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Morgoth
Squeeker
Joined: Oct 07, 2009
Posts: 11
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 Posted:
Nov 03, 2009 - 09:07 PM |
 
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Their parents do everything for them......that's part of the problem. Parents in the countryside of China make their children do work....... while Shanghai parents just make their children focus on their studies..... So you have 24 year old Shanghai girls who just graduated from university and all they can do is read books and spend money, because that's exactly all they did at home all their lives. While the countryside girl can cook, clean, wash clothes, take care of small children, and run a small business at home....... but on the downside you have to get used to her spitting on the floor.... but manners are definitely a trainable thing, while personality is not so trainable.... |
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Marakanis
Wonder Wit
Joined: Jan 11, 2009
Posts: 3851
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Nov 04, 2009 - 02:09 AM |
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Personality is trainable through aversion therapy or positive reinforcement.
For example, if your boyfriend takes out the trash, give him a blowjob as soon as he gets back. I bet he'll take out the trash everyday. |
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bleepingbleeper
Ranter
Joined: June 18, 2009
Posts: 504
Status: Offline
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Nov 04, 2009 - 01:48 PM |
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| LifeMage wrote: |
I married a fvkcing FUNNY Shanghainese girl. She's not materialistic. She's down to earth, with a good sense of humour and a head on her shoulders.
The problems with women are not local, they're UNIVERSAL
Women are naturally, crazy fvkcing psychos!
It's in their DNA, it's just .....WHO THEY ARE.
Find the least psycho one you can and hope she doesn't kill you in your sleep. Doesn't matter if she's from Shanghai or Saturn...
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i hear ya |
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bhbernstein
Rocker
Joined: July 28, 2009
Posts: 705
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Nov 04, 2009 - 03:16 PM |
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An advantage to marrying a Shanghai girl is that they keep your bank account very clean |
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Moroes
Reacher
Joined: Jan 16, 2009
Posts: 354
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Nov 05, 2009 - 12:05 AM |
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Man walks in a tattoo parlor.
He wants to tattoo money on his dick.
The tattoo artist asks why?
The man said "Dude my wife is Shanghainese! She loves blowing money!" |
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dr3x320
LoopKicker
Joined: Nov 21, 2006
Posts: 979
Location: Boston/NYC/Zhang Hai/Goteborg
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Nov 05, 2009 - 02:21 AM |
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| dfoo wrote: |
| I don't marry to gain some advantage... that sounds like a business arrangement; which is, of course, how many Shanghainese feel about marriage. |
Spot On.
Its a bit disturbing how expats slam Shanghainese or cuntry folk here, given both have their ups/downs. Locals have the upper hand in most situations/guanxi, migrants work for cheap labor serving you bic macs @ 3rmb/hr. It all boils down to if you can accept the facts and deal with it. Some folks rant about what they don't understand or cant accept.
There is a small percentage of Shanghainese women who are not high maintenance.
I reiterate, a small percentange.
This case would be the same in any other country/big city, ie South Carolina or Maine with high rates of KKK members, why do they hate people of different color, some can't accept it, some do, each area/city/country has its own different flavor of people.
Ignorance is bliss. |
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atlas_shrugged
Seeker
Joined: May 09, 2009
Posts: 65
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Nov 07, 2009 - 12:27 AM |
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I've met a few Shanghainese women in my short time here thus far. And women from other regions of China.
I've been warned from multiple sources to be careful of Shanghainese women -- from family members, to friends, to coworkers, and now, to this message board.
So far, the Shanghainese women I met are a lot more interesting. Their English is on average better, and they are more educated, cultured and multi-dimensional in our conversations. No one has asked me to buy a handbag for them. Everyone has expected me to buy every meal and drink, without a thank you.
The scariest thing about Shanghainese women may be how observant they are. They study and notice everything in your apartment and the clothese that you are wearing -- much more observant that me. |
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rickettyrabbit
LoopKicker
Joined: Sep 30, 2009
Posts: 821
Location: Minhang District
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Nov 07, 2009 - 01:27 PM |
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I think "Shanghainese" is a poor classifier. Run the regression equation and tell me what the R-squared is for it. 
OK, now speaking English, I think there are much more important things to pay attention to than whether she's Shanghainese, such as is she smart, nice, well-mannered, considerate, honest?
On the other hand, "Yes, your Shang-highness" sounds very good to some of them.
Wabbit |
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Compsnake
Lurker
Joined: July 28, 2008
Posts: 27
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Nov 07, 2009 - 04:40 PM |
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| Andreas wrote: |
| Why marry at all? Are there any advantages? |
word |
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Compsnake
Lurker
Joined: July 28, 2008
Posts: 27
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Nov 07, 2009 - 05:03 PM |
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Like Morgoth said, Shanghainese girls know how to spend money and read books. It's true.. but you have to think of marriage as not only a women you are able to sleep with every night, but also a closer friend, or companion. If you're going to marry someone, they better be able to live on the same wavelength as you and share similar values as you. Or else you guys won't be living a life together, but just separate lives that are forced to come back together to the same bed every night.. Pointless.. Better to just have a sex friend, no obligations.
Because of their childhood and surroundings, they are used to spending money, studying, etc. They definitely do like to keep your bank accounts clean and boss you around. They are also definitely high maintenance. But aside from all the cons there are pros. Aside from loving money and spending money, they are a lot more profound thinkers compared girls in other parts of China. They can carry on longer more interesting conversations. They have their own thoughts and perspectives of the world and have a more westernized set of manners.
But that's what comes along with education and a higher standard of living. You want a girl that's smart with manners and have their own life, but spends a lot of money? Or you want a housewife that waits for you to get home to cook and sleep with you without a single useful conversation besides "the weather is nice today".
Plus, I honestly don't think you can categorize this specifically towards Shanghainese women. Being bossy, spending money goes with women all over the world. You can say that you'll find more bossy women in Shanghai comparatively, but that doesn't mean there aren't nice girls out there. You just have to be looking at the right places for the right qualities.
Though after all that, I'll agree with all of you guys who say Shanghainese women are bossy and makes you do everything. Haha, it's quite close to the truth. |
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clayrview
Talker
Joined: Oct 30, 2009
Posts: 96
Status: Offline
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Nov 07, 2009 - 10:45 PM |
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| Quote: |
Being bossy, spending money goes with women all over the world.
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That's an awfully broad statement. In my experience (maybe not in china), a lot of women pride themselves in providing for themselves, and spending their OWN money. I myself would find it degrading to live off of my partner.
China? Maybe. "All over the world'? no. Bossy? There are annoying and quality women (and men) in every country. Just the fact that most people are too lazy or impatient to find someone compatible for them. |
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bonniexwj
Lurker
Joined: Nov 05, 2009
Posts: 38
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Nov 07, 2009 - 11:26 PM |
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Not all the Shanghai girls are in the same type.They are independant ,smart,elegent. Dont describe them in one way you know about them becoz its unfair to other Shanghai girls |
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rickettyrabbit
LoopKicker
Joined: Sep 30, 2009
Posts: 821
Location: Minhang District
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Nov 08, 2009 - 06:40 AM |
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Right on, Bonniex. In every part of the world, there are people with a variety of personalities and characters. There are bossy, dominating women everywhere, just as there are smart, elegant, independent women everywhere and woman whose aim in life is to please their man. Cultural differences sometimes make it harder for outsiders to see these underlying personality traits, but make no mistake -- they are ALL there among the women in any country. There are some wonderful women native to Shanghai, too. I've met some delightful ones. Stereotyping is very unfair, and the worst of it is that it is a tool that "teaches" the observer to look for certain qualities and to ignore others. When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything starts to look suspiciously like a nail.
Wabbit |
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ziccawei
Board Royalty
Joined: Sep 12, 2008
Posts: 6804
Location: Ziccawei
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Nov 08, 2009 - 07:40 AM |
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Why do Shanghai girls constantly moan about being tired and/or hungry?
Don't they sleep?
Don't they eat? |
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We had access to too much money, too much equipment, and little by little, we went insane. |
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rickettyrabbit
LoopKicker
Joined: Sep 30, 2009
Posts: 821
Location: Minhang District
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Nov 08, 2009 - 10:35 AM |
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missjane
Barker
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Posts: 131
Location: dreaming around
Status: Offline
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Nov 08, 2009 - 11:38 AM |
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They are all as bad as each other, whichever country you are from..... |
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dsugg
LoopKicker
Joined: Nov 18, 2007
Posts: 841
Location: Jingan:) & Zhabei:(
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Nov 08, 2009 - 01:24 PM |
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If you have seen a Shanghai girl suck the meat out of a hairy crab's legs... you will overlook some of the other shortcomings |
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rickettyrabbit
LoopKicker
Joined: Sep 30, 2009
Posts: 821
Location: Minhang District
Status: Offline
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Nov 08, 2009 - 11:48 PM |
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^ I have a friend who's old enough to be a grandfather, who's never been married, and has slept with more women, and more beautiful women, than anyone has a right to. He is still dating women in their 20s. He talks about the "100 lay rule" . . . sleep with the same woman 100 times, and you know all her moves, she knows all yours, and it starts to get "familiar". (He says that word with disgust.) Excitement declines. Time to move on. It doesn't matter if she can suck the marrow out of ox bones -- the same lips on the same bone get boring after a while.
It doesn't matter where they come from. A bitch is a bitch, and gem is a gem, no matter whether she's from Shanghai or Cincinnati.
Wabbit |
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Compsnake
Lurker
Joined: July 28, 2008
Posts: 27
Status: Offline
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Nov 09, 2009 - 01:01 AM |
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clayrview forgive me for my broad statement. I was actually meaning to say.. but admit didn't really sound like.. that there are bossy girls that love to spend money all over the world. It's not just in Shanghai. Just as people think there are nice girls in other places, doesn't mean they aren't in Shanghai -- If you think the girls here are bossy and spend a lot of money, doesn't mean they only exist here. |
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clayrview
Talker
Joined: Oct 30, 2009
Posts: 96
Status: Offline
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Nov 10, 2009 - 08:39 AM |
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No worries! Point clarified! Trust, I am just as annoyed on a daily basis by the female sex as some men are! Maybe even more so by the stereotypes they perpetrate, and the sickening 1950's values that still linger on in some...
I feel like a more more interesting thread might be,
"Are there any advantages to being married?" period.
What does a marriage give you that you shouldn't be able to give yourself?
And those things that should be given by a partner (love, trust, affection, companionship) do they need an archaic system to define them?
I only say this as I realize I have 1 highschool friend who's parents are still together.... funnily enough, they were never married to begin with.
The whole money pit which is a wedding/marriage frankly disturbs me. It seems like a lot of smoke and mirrors for something that should be beautiful, simple and honest.
Marriage is grand if it means more than a big white dress and a down payment. But it shouldn't be the only option for commitment. |
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ziccawei
Board Royalty
Joined: Sep 12, 2008
Posts: 6804
Location: Ziccawei
Status: Offline
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Nov 10, 2009 - 09:25 AM |
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In terms of marrying a Shanghai woman, I heard a horror story recently from this guy about a Shanghai woman that just sounds, well, horrific. Just a disgusting, low life female that should have been drowned at birth. |
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We had access to too much money, too much equipment, and little by little, we went insane. |
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rickettyrabbit
LoopKicker
Joined: Sep 30, 2009
Posts: 821
Location: Minhang District
Status: Offline
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Nov 10, 2009 - 01:12 PM |
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| clayrview wrote: |
I feel like a more more interesting thread might be,
"Are there any advantages to being married?" period.
What does a marriage give you that you shouldn't be able to give yourself?
And those things that should be given by a partner (love, trust, affection, companionship) do they need an archaic system to define them?
I only say this as I realize I have 1 highschool friend who's parents are still together.... funnily enough, they were never married to begin with.
The whole money pit which is a wedding/marriage frankly disturbs me. It seems like a lot of smoke and mirrors for something that should be beautiful, simple and honest.
Marriage is grand if it means more than a big white dress and a down payment. But it shouldn't be the only option for commitment. |
I agree with most of your points. Yes, being paired (whether married or not) should give us love, trust, affection, companionship . . . and I'll add one more -- a deep and profound connection between two people.
Marriage isn't needed for any of those. Unfortunately, many people erroneously think that since they're "in love", and they decide to get married, all those things will naturally follow. WRONG!
And your point about consumerism-driven weddings! Don't get me started! I know a HK girl in the US who married a PRC immigrant. They were married in the US and had a huge banquet. Then, they went to HK and her parents held another huge banquet. After that, they went back to China and held a big banquet in the groom's home town. She said they collected, big time. To many, having a big banquet is like a night at the gaming tables. Sometimes, you strike it rich. What a way to demean what should be the core of the relationship!
That said, I'd get married again to the right woman because if you hit it right, nothing can beat it.
Wabbit |
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missjane
Barker
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Posts: 131
Location: dreaming around
Status: Offline
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Nov 10, 2009 - 03:40 PM |
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banquets....most couples are exhausted after one....and they had three........... |
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bougie
Board Buddha
Joined: Nov 20, 2004
Posts: 14919
Location: Woooo .. Han
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| Posted:
Nov 10, 2009 - 08:14 PM |
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| dsugg wrote: |
| If you have seen a Shanghai girl suck the meat out of a hairy crab's legs... you will overlook some of the other shortcomings |
they have a similar effect on the pocket book .. |
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Andreas
Board Legend
Joined: Feb 27, 2004
Posts: 10156
Location: s/v Waratah
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| Posted:
Nov 10, 2009 - 08:21 PM |
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| bonniexwj wrote: |
| Not all the Shanghai girls are in the same type.They are independant ,smart,elegent. Dont describe them in one way you know about them becoz its unfair to other Shanghai girls |
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Time is the very substance of life; its golden minutes are the only stones we have with which to build. That spiritual building, not made with hands. |
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