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blindeye
Barker
Joined: Oct 19, 2009
Posts: 161
Status: Offline
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 Posted:
Nov 03, 2009 - 11:15 PM |
 
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Yeah Im out there all the time.. I even had chicken feet, duck necks & fried tweeties but the real Chinese feeling hasnt come through yet. Still enjoying though and madly taking pictures like a Japanese =) |
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Im pretty much contaminated with what this world has got to offer! |
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jay_dee
Reacher
Joined: Mar 22, 2009
Posts: 330
Status: Offline
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Nov 04, 2009 - 01:49 PM |
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Don't sweat the small stuff and stop dwelling on the past.
Buy some chop sticks and practice with them at home so you don't act/look a fool.
Remember to always place them back on the holders (if provided).
Don't point with them or stab your food.
Never cross them (X) on your plate.
Relax and enjoy yourself. |
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US Expat in Shanghai |
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Tiny_year
Seeker
Joined: Nov 01, 2009
Posts: 61
Status: Offline
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Nov 04, 2009 - 03:01 PM |
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Hey blindeye, how's today? |
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kuldaen
StreetBeater
Joined: June 06, 2005
Posts: 2248
Location: Somewhere in Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Nov 04, 2009 - 03:09 PM |
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| blindeye wrote: |
| They offered me a fork and spoon but I refused cause I read its impolite. |
You should have accepted the fork and spoon. It was their way of giving both you and them some "face". It is only impolite to not try. once you try and fail, then its okay to acknowledge you can't do something. By not accepting I think you made it worse. This is the same with eating strange things. Try it and if you don't like it say something like "Its too strong for me" or something like that to show them its you and not them. |
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Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I |
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Shangstar
Fire-eater
Joined: Feb 07, 2008
Posts: 2790
Location: Spitland
Status: Offline
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Nov 04, 2009 - 03:18 PM |
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au contraire - it is actually perfectly fine to wrench your guts out and pretend to vomit if you dont like the food served to you. I mean, look at the locals on the street - they all do it. So, next time do as I advise as a subtle but polite way of saying "No thanks".
I walk around with chopsticks up my nose and all the locals love it. |
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Charles Darwin: Differences between humans are differences in degree, not differences in kind |
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bhbernstein
Reacher
Joined: July 28, 2009
Posts: 346
Status: Offline
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Nov 04, 2009 - 03:22 PM |
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don't worry about it. Next time you are out for dinner with the group, buy beer or bei juo... Go around the table and gambei (bottoms up) with each member at the table individually. they will look up to you and repect you for that.... Make sure you expecially do this with the owner of your company and your managers. It is also common to do this with the people who report to you |
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Swiss-James
Post Roaster
Joined: Jan 05, 2007
Posts: 4331
Status: Offline
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Nov 04, 2009 - 03:34 PM |
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Try and find someone who is discrete, tell them you find Chinese culture difficult and confusing.
Whenever you have a problem go and ask your little buddy. If you don't end up sitting next to them at dinner, just send an SMS
"Should I make speech?"
"What is this thing I'm eating?"
"How long before we go home?"
It'll make them feel important and they'll start pointing out things you've missed.
Try and relax though, they know foreigners are weird- you won't blow a big business deal because you ate your rice with a spoon or dropped a chopstick. |
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ISpy: Shanghai blog ||  |
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*Sarita
Barker
Joined: Jan 26, 2008
Posts: 177
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Nov 05, 2009 - 03:16 PM |
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Just forget about what the books tell you. Thos books are always so over the top with how you should act. We are all people and Chinese will understand you have not mastered chopsticks yet and didn't know you need to give a speech.
If they offer cutlery, take it. No one will be offended. |
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Tiny_year
Seeker
Joined: Nov 01, 2009
Posts: 61
Status: Offline
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Nov 05, 2009 - 08:27 PM |
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Blindeye,,come back and give us some fun!miss you so much! |
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jay_dee
Reacher
Joined: Mar 22, 2009
Posts: 330
Status: Offline
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Nov 06, 2009 - 08:17 AM |
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Shangstar, I gotta put my glasses on from now on.
I always thought you were a mutant vampire with very long fangs. |
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US Expat in Shanghai |
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jasonnoguchi
LoopKicker
Joined: Mar 05, 2005
Posts: 905
Location: From Singapore
Status: Offline
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Nov 06, 2009 - 08:50 AM |
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Karu
Raver
Joined: June 27, 2005
Posts: 412
Status: Offline
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Nov 06, 2009 - 09:56 AM |
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Bohica
Raver
Joined: July 25, 2008
Posts: 443
Status: Offline
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Nov 06, 2009 - 10:35 AM |
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maybe you should offer to take them all to McDonalds for reconciliation |
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blondesands
Raver
Joined: Nov 21, 2007
Posts: 377
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Nov 06, 2009 - 10:52 AM |
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| blindeye wrote: |
| I got so worked up that my other colleague started to help me to put the food on my plate, so embarassing.. |
This might not have been done to patronise you. Often Chinese friends will do that when eating out, not sure if it is because they want you to try new dishes, or whether they think you aren't eating enough?
Seems like you're trying too hard. Being over here can be a huge culture shock, and there will constantly be something to whine about, but try to be yourself, and over time, your colleagues will get to know you more, and you'll be able to laugh at how awkward you felt when you first arrived.  |
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jeffreylubowski
Barker
Joined: July 04, 2007
Posts: 178
Status: Offline
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Nov 06, 2009 - 11:37 AM |
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Use a fork'n'knife and tell everyone else to do the same, if 5000 of civilization can only come up with a nation of street spitting p*ssing anywhere burp in your face giggling teenage hello kitty loving shower sh**ing 8 year olds then the sooner they embrace "western" ways of life the easier it will be for them to "conquer" the world. McDonalds and KFC do they sell Chinese food here? no its burgers and chicken in a bucket with slow and curly fries damnit! Teach them to drink tequila shots instead of being poisoned with the local bye-joe cr*p. Stop being selfish and spread Western "values" thats what people here crave really!
OP are you scandinavian by any chance, do your parents still cut up the meat on your plate? just asking... |
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TrueNorth
Barker
Joined: Sep 08, 2009
Posts: 140
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Nov 06, 2009 - 12:39 PM |
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Blindeye,
Welcome to Alice's Wonderland aka China! Enjoy the adventure while you are here. When I started visiting China in order to find a business opportunity, I read a few book on China. Then I threw them out because they didn't make much sense.
What worked for me is throwing away formalities and getting to the bottom of human need for relationship. I once threw up and passed out during a formal lunch with a vice mayor and the head of a regional bank in Anhui because they forced me and my U.S. business partner at that time to ganbei after ganbei with baijiu. It was their way to get to the bottom of us, and find out if they wanted to deal with us. It may not be common in Shanghai nowadays, but it still is very common in other part of China, I hear.
How-to-do business books may tell you shouldn't get drunk, but getting drunk really works in China (at least for me anyway). The banker spoke only Chinese, and I couldn't speak Chinese at that time, but he really liked us. So much so he did not release us after the lunch even we pleaded him that we were leaving Shanghai for home the following day. He took us to a cafe for beer then a city tour with his shinny big BMW. He was so drunk that I had to help him not to run over pedestrians and hit other cars while I rode shotgun. The three people in the back were so scared that two drunks in the front were driving the car so erratically and fast they forced the banker to stop and pulled me out of the car. Then the angry banker got me back into the front seat and he happily continued his tour of his city.
In the end he put us into the best hotel in the city. My U.S. partner who is a Harvard graduate was so mournful repeating “Where am I? I shouldn't have drunken. Oh, I will miss my flight.” In contrast I was in heaven because we were able to really connect to the banker. So I wasn't concerned about missing a flight. Around midnight someone came to our hotel to pick us up, and placed us in a night train for Shanghai. We arrived at Shanghai early in the morning, were able to check out our hotel, and catch our respective flights home. A happy ending. 
As Zillahh mentioned entertaining clients at KTV clubs are very common in China. There are even a few quash government owned ones in Shanghai where party and government officials go. I've learnt KTV clubbing in SH.
I think there are three ways of approach for us. 1. Try to preserve the Western way and be miserable and angry all the time. 2. try to adopt the Chinese way through books perhaps, and be frustrated and angry all the time because most of the Chinese don't behave the way the books describe. 3. Throw away all the books, relax, have some baijiu or beer and let the Chinese people lead you where they want you to be, and enjoy the adventure and discovery. Remember you are in the Wonderland.  |
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Misteral
Raver
Joined: July 24, 2008
Posts: 459
Status: Offline
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Nov 06, 2009 - 01:22 PM |
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I'm a number three kinda guy, myself |
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jeffreylubowski
Barker
Joined: July 04, 2007
Posts: 178
Status: Offline
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Nov 06, 2009 - 01:59 PM |
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Only book you need to read is The Opium Wars and you'll understand everything you ned to know about modern day China and how to deal. |
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zillahh
Barker
Joined: Jan 01, 2008
Posts: 197
Status: Offline
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Nov 06, 2009 - 04:31 PM |
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I thought this was a "how do you use chop sticks" thread? |
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TrueNorth
Barker
Joined: Sep 08, 2009
Posts: 140
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Nov 07, 2009 - 09:58 AM |
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You can also use a spoon in additon to a pair of chop sticks. Just look around how the Chinese people eat. The rule in China is that there is no rule. I love it. |
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Delpy
Squeeker
Joined: Aug 11, 2009
Posts: 14
Status: Offline
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Nov 09, 2009 - 11:28 PM |
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Hi blindeye, Just curious, why are you here work in a Chinese family venture? |
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