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PureXTC88
Reacher
Joined: Mar 24, 2003
Posts: 326
Location: Toronto / Pudong
Status: Offline
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 Posted:
Nov 25, 2004 - 11:14 AM |
 
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| Post subject: Need a nanny for an infant |
I'm looking for a nanny for our 1.5 mth old. Any reputable services here in Shanghai? My wife is at home with him now but she will return to work mid Jan. We have already gone through 3 nanny's in 3 weeks, none were experienced in infants. Any help is appreciated! Thanks in advance. |
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margarita
Reacher
Joined: July 13, 2004
Posts: 291
Status: Offline
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Nov 25, 2004 - 04:45 PM |
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suggestion puretex:
dont leave your baby with a stranger. Noone will ever be qualified to take care of your children. He/she is only 6 weeks old!!!!!
after being in mommys belly for 9 mos all cozy,happy and protected, the worst thing you can do to an infant is separte him/her from their mom
Please rethink this, your wife could work from home.. so many better options.
take care |
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MahamYe
Rocker
Joined: Jan 07, 2004
Posts: 614
Status: Offline
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Nov 29, 2004 - 01:14 PM |
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I agree with Margarita; however, if pragmatism limits your options you can try contacting one of the "first month" inpatient hospitals to see if they have someone recommended. Ask what training a proper nanny should have and screen applicants based on that. Also, 'word of mouth' is a great way to find a good nanny/ayi. Here's a tip- you get what you pay for. If you find someone that you happy with pay them very well and make them happy to work with your family.
Be wary of some of the services because some are shady and charge the ayi/nanny a high 'placement' fee. She can owe hundreds of RMB bfore she even begins working for you. It's very scary to leave your young child alone with a stranger so just do all your research and don't settle on someone unless you are 1000% sure they are safe. Good luck~ |
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SHMSPAC
Reacher
Joined: Sep 01, 2004
Posts: 236
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Nov 29, 2004 - 02:55 PM |
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Even if you were to find someone who said they were qualified, they will most likely not be able to meet your standards. The problem is, you won’t know as you and your wife will be at work. My wife and I (she is Chinese, I’m a foreigner) also have a child 6 weeks old, and I wouldn’t even consider infant care in Shanghai (China) and it is not a matter of economics, but ability and quality of care. I used to believe that China must have expertise in child care, just look at the numbers of people, but I can assure you mine was a misconception. I would suggest that you explore all other options; simply based on the experience you have attained thus far, 3 nannies in 3 weeks!
As other posters have mentioned, and they have given you good advice, be very careful of agencies, they are terrible and you have no recourse if something goes wrong. Word of mouth is the best solution, but make sure they have their health certificate, and that it’s current, and be sure to get a copy of their ID card, and check to make sure the address, where they live is valid. I also suggest that the person you hire not work a lot of part time jobs, in other homes, as they can contract health problems, and transmit them to your child. I would also not make money an issue, especially if you find someone good. The Ayi we have is paid well, and I also provide her with heath insurance, and assist in her child’s school tuition, in turn, she really does a good job, sort of like a part of the family.
Good luck |
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lioralourie
Reacher
Joined: Dec 29, 2003
Posts: 223
Location: Beijing
Status: Offline
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Dec 02, 2004 - 01:27 AM |
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oh my. This saddens me so much. Please, please don't let your wife leave baby to be cared for by strangers. There's no reason to "have to" for most of us moms in China. However, I guess it would depend on what her "have to" reason is...(if it's not money, then what is it? Socializing? Us moms socialize, too. Intellectual stimulation? There's internet, books and political magazines! Ego? Get over it! ) You can go back to work later, when the kids go to school...there's lots of time for that, later!
Anyone who's interested can find a very sweet, short online book entitled "Whatever Happened to Mother" located at http://www.naturalchild.org/whatever_happened/
Just look in your baby's eyes for a long, long time. See how tiny and fragile, and realize that nobody in the world will love him and respond to him the way parents can. Do whatever you can to encourage your wife to take this one-time opportunity to spend lots of time, and learn all about your baby. Meanwhile, he/she is learning all about what it means to be human from you. Yes, one-time opportunity. Because later is too late. These early months are crucial for attachment and also the development of healthy parenting skills.
Step up to the plate, and be a "real mother" (read the book)--I'm so glad I did. Even more importantly, I'm so, so glad MY mom was a real mother--she made me what I am today--she loved me well, and in so doing gave me the capacity to love. And that's more important than any career. |
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SaraC
Barker
Joined: Oct 17, 2004
Posts: 197
Status: Offline
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Dec 10, 2004 - 10:43 AM |
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Instead of judging a mother for going back to work, stay at home moms need to understand that economics do force many women -- expats included -- to go to back to work. Working moms know that they are the best qualified care giver for their children and love their children just as much as stay at home moms.
I have a 4 1/2 month old and am returning to work in two weeks and have fired my Ayi and also need a new one. My husband only works 1/2 days, so he can take care of our angel part of each day. I also hope to explore a flexible work schedule. I am in a home situation where I will always have to work to pay the rent and provide for my family. It breaks my heart to leave my angel -- but I cannot force my husband to stay home full time.
Reading the criticisms of leaving your child on this thread makes me want to cry -- because I agree with them. It would be helpful if there could be some support for working expat moms around here though. |
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SHMSPAC
Reacher
Joined: Sep 01, 2004
Posts: 236
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Dec 10, 2004 - 12:29 PM |
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To SaraC
Your post got to me, and I understand your feeling and concern. In the States there is a program called “Children First”, it’s concept is to provide for childcare for working parents, but on a limited basis, when regular care is not available, and they are typically setup in commercial office buildings, so it’s convenient for mothers, i.e. breast feeding etc. or to see their children during the day, if they work in the same building or close by. I have worked with this company in the States, for their real-estate needs, and have a good understanding of the operation. About a year ago, I put together a business plan to offer the same type of service in Shanghai, only to be extended to fulltime care, if needed, but didn’t get much interest as most Chinese have childcare with relatives. If there was enough of an interest, this idea could be explored again. The plan and operation is too large to go into here, but I welcome your thoughts. The basic idea is to provide an International quality service for pre-school children. |
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MatildaGirl
Talker
Joined: Nov 05, 2004
Posts: 107
Status: Offline
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Dec 16, 2004 - 11:21 AM |
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My kids would love to babysit sometimes if we move to Shanghai. Babies are always popular in our family.
Good luck finding suitable childcare for your baby. I remember trying to find suitable childcare for our first child, what a nightmare. |
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