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Azrael
FooJay
Joined: Aug 13, 2003
Posts: 1753
Location: Terra Paradiso
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 Posted:
June 02, 2005 - 06:29 PM |
 
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| Post subject: The Basics of Marketing |
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct Marketing
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says,
"He's very rich. Marry him."
That's Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink.
You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it,
offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich "Will you marry me?"
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich, I want to marry you."
That's Brand Recognition.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me"
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback |
_________________
Little pictures in my head. Turn me inside out again. Cuz f^&*ing up takes practice. I feel I'm well rehearsed. Cuz the past is a bully. And the futures even worse. You tell me what you fear. Cuz I can feel it like a curse... |
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ShanghaiUnderground
StreetBeater
Joined: July 15, 2004
Posts: 2413
Location: Shanghai
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| Posted:
June 02, 2005 - 06:44 PM |
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You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I'm rich. Marry me"
She gives you a nice smile, but just then another man shows up, punches you in the gut and tells her he's richer. She marries him instead.
That's a Hostile Takeover. |
_________________
"And this also," said Marlow suddenly, "has been one of the dark places of the earth." |
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Azrael
FooJay
Joined: Aug 13, 2003
Posts: 1753
Location: Terra Paradiso
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June 02, 2005 - 06:49 PM |
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good one |
_________________
Little pictures in my head. Turn me inside out again. Cuz f^&*ing up takes practice. I feel I'm well rehearsed. Cuz the past is a bully. And the futures even worse. You tell me what you fear. Cuz I can feel it like a curse... |
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ShanghaiUnderground
StreetBeater
Joined: July 15, 2004
Posts: 2413
Location: Shanghai
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June 02, 2005 - 07:05 PM |
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After marriage, he collects a few mistresses.
That's diversifying one's portfolio.
The wife files for divorce, collecting half of his assets.
That's spinning off the company. |
_________________
"And this also," said Marlow suddenly, "has been one of the dark places of the earth." |
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Azrael
FooJay
Joined: Aug 13, 2003
Posts: 1753
Location: Terra Paradiso
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June 03, 2005 - 05:36 AM |
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What if the guy gets another marriage? |
_________________
Little pictures in my head. Turn me inside out again. Cuz f^&*ing up takes practice. I feel I'm well rehearsed. Cuz the past is a bully. And the futures even worse. You tell me what you fear. Cuz I can feel it like a curse... |
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MMM
Ranter
Joined: June 01, 2005
Posts: 534
Status: Offline
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June 03, 2005 - 08:30 AM |
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After marriage the gorgeous girl gives the guy the best blow job in the world every morning. She makes him breakfast every morning too.
Just as he's about to leave for work she says she needs some money for shopping.
That's asset stripping. |
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Caesara
Post Roaster
Joined: July 31, 2004
Posts: 4572
Location: The Middle Kingdom (Shanghai)
Status: Offline
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June 03, 2005 - 09:17 AM |
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Can't think of a better one, but wanted to say these are hilarious and made me laugh out loud at work!
Carry on -- please!!
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Azrael
FooJay
Joined: Aug 13, 2003
Posts: 1753
Location: Terra Paradiso
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June 03, 2005 - 10:37 AM |
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^ you gotta contribute to this.... you should know more about marketing then i do (avid economist reader).... |
_________________
Little pictures in my head. Turn me inside out again. Cuz f^&*ing up takes practice. I feel I'm well rehearsed. Cuz the past is a bully. And the futures even worse. You tell me what you fear. Cuz I can feel it like a curse... |
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ShanghaiUnderground
StreetBeater
Joined: July 15, 2004
Posts: 2413
Location: Shanghai
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June 03, 2005 - 01:40 PM |
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| Azrael wrote: |
| What if the guy gets another marriage? |
Assuming the new wife is younger than the ex-wife, then that's venture capitalism.
But if the new wife is older, then that's declaring bankruptcy.
If the ex-wife shacks up with her gigolo and invests in his "pool cleaning" business, then that's entrepreneurship.
If the ex-wife and her gigolo get together with her ex-husband and his new wife, then that's a corporate merger.
We know how those end up.
The ex-husband (CEO) is terminated for being an idiot - corporate malfeasance. The ex-wife assumes control of all business units, terminates everyone else and invests in taco stands and beauty salons in suburbia. Corporate restructuring.
She sells those businesses (corporate divestiture), undegoes plastic surgery on her face and arse (corporate makeover), then beguiles her way into the arms of a married Swiss banker. Hostile takeover redux. |
_________________
"And this also," said Marlow suddenly, "has been one of the dark places of the earth." |
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