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lucar
Board Royalty
Joined: July 05, 2004
Posts: 6252
Status: Offline
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 Posted:
July 01, 2005 - 07:12 AM |
 
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| Post subject: I Want To Buy A Girl For 100 RMB... |
…is what I unwittingly said the other day as I tried to buy a 100 RMB mobile phone recharge card.
All this time I've been using dian hua for mobile phone even though I know full well that it is used only for land lines. I’ve just been afraid to break out of the habit. I finally started to use the correct term shou ji last week and have been feeling quite proud of myself until...
I marched into my favorite little kiosk/store thingy in Xin Qiao to buy a 100 RMB recharge certificate for my mobile phone and announced in my best Chinese; ni hao. wo yao mai yige xiao jie. 100 rmb. ni yo mai yo? Well! The surprised expression on the clerk threw me for a loop. So, I repeated myself two or three more times. Each time the clerk repeated what I was saying. Then he pointed at my crotch. Of course, I assumed that he was pointing at the phone which was bulging in my pocket (I ain’t THAT hung). Then he started to poke the palm of his hand violently with his index finger, which I assumed was meant to mime telephone dialing (I pity the woman who sleeps with the guy if that is what he considers a good time). To make a long story short, I was urged by the clerk to go next door to the barbershop featuring alternating red and blue lights in the ceiling giving the overall look of the place a pink glow and baby-blue. At that point I realized my error, went back to my favorite little kiosk/shop and asked for a good ol’ dian hua ca.
Moral of story. Never try and say mobile phone in Mandarin again.
Mandarin |
Last edited by lucar on July 01, 2005 - 07:30 AM; edited 1 time in total |
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n00b
PopStar
Joined: Apr 27, 2004
Posts: 1130
Location: Hua Guo Mountain
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July 01, 2005 - 07:18 AM |
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errr...
shou ji = mobile phone but you want to say zong zhi ka for the top up card. |
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skyline5k
Shanghai Royalty
Joined: Sep 06, 2004
Posts: 8656
Location: i am ERROR
Status: Offline
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July 01, 2005 - 07:26 AM |
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Magnolia
Board Biatch
Joined: June 01, 2004
Posts: 31071
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July 01, 2005 - 07:29 AM |
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Kind of the same reason I never, never, never say that I'm tired in Mandarin!
Pointing his finger at his palm? Was he pointing next door or telling you that the girl would cost 800 rmb? |
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BOYCOTT BENSON SALON |
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lucar
Board Royalty
Joined: July 05, 2004
Posts: 6252
Status: Offline
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July 01, 2005 - 07:32 AM |
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| n00b wrote: |
errr...
shou ji = mobile phone but you want to say zong zhi ka for the top up card. |
Thanks honey. See...even typing I slipped that extra little "e" into the word. I'll try with the zong zhi ka today as I'll need to recharge soon. |
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GC
The Ginger Prince
Joined: Dec 01, 2003
Posts: 21531
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July 01, 2005 - 07:40 AM |
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100rmb does seem kind of expensive! |
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You turned on the lights, Fuelled U boats by night, That's how you repay us, It's time to go home. |
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*CheerLeader*Mao
Post Roaster
Joined: July 07, 2004
Posts: 4678
Location: frenCh belgiuM
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July 01, 2005 - 08:34 AM |
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HAHHAA. laowai so funny.
Mao likie laowai try speak advanced language like putonghua. they like silly zoo animal. |
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skyline5k
Shanghai Royalty
Joined: Sep 06, 2004
Posts: 8656
Location: i am ERROR
Status: Offline
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July 01, 2005 - 08:39 AM |
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Your typing skills have vastly improved, Cheerleader! |
_________________
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C:/Dos ~ C:/Dos/Run ~ Run/Dos/Run |
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acujerjer
Board Royalty
Joined: Sep 10, 2003
Posts: 7770
Location: up your butt and around the corner
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July 01, 2005 - 08:40 AM |
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First of all, I hope you went next door and got one of those 100 RMB chicks.
Second of all, "Shou" in shou ji rymes with ho.
Third, how do you guys live in China for this long without learning Chinese? What is wrong with you guys? After 6 weeks in China, I was riding trains all by myself having conversations with all the Chinese around me. It was simple conversations, but I was communicating. How long you been in China and you can't tell the difference between xiao jie and shou ji? I never attended one single Mandarin class and I could go days without speaking or reading English now. Am I a language genious? Not at all. I just cracked open a few books and took an interest and had lots of sex in Mandarin. |
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GeoffOz
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 28, 2005
Posts: 2778
Location: Lost in Shanghai
Status: Offline
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July 01, 2005 - 08:48 AM |
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I've been getting by using the show and point method.
I once asked for the menu [cai dan] when I wanted the bill [mai dan]. I won't make that mistake again. It's an important part of the learning process. I imagine Lucar won't be making his mistake again either. |
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The secrets of this Earth are not for all to see, but only for those who will seek them... |
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Kiwi
Post Boaster
Joined: May 07, 2003
Posts: 4763
Status: Offline
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July 01, 2005 - 08:54 AM |
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| lucar wrote: |
| n00b wrote: |
errr...
shou ji = mobile phone but you want to say zong zhi ka for the top up card. |
Thanks honey. See...even typing I slipped that extra little "e" into the word. I'll try with the zong zhi ka today as I'll need to recharge soon. |
Not 'zong zhi ka'. Should be 'chong1zhi2 ka3' |
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[offensive signature removed by ADMIN] |
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lucar
Board Royalty
Joined: July 05, 2004
Posts: 6252
Status: Offline
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July 01, 2005 - 09:50 AM |
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| acujerjer wrote: |
First of all, I hope you went next door and got one of those 100 RMB chicks.
Second of all, "Shou" in shou ji rymes with ho.
Third, how do you guys live in China for this long without learning Chinese? What is wrong with you guys? After 6 weeks in China, I was riding trains all by myself having conversations with all the Chinese around me. It was simple conversations, but I was communicating. How long you been in China and you can't tell the difference between xiao jie and shou ji? I never attended one single Mandarin class and I could go days without speaking or reading English now. Am I a language genious? Not at all. I just cracked open a few books and took an interest and had lots of sex in Mandarin. |
Oh let's see... could it be that I go between the USA and China every three weeks AND work extreemly long hours and am maybe, just not that good with languages (although I already speak 3). I guess we cannot all be as brilliant as little ol' you Mr. Jerjer. |
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SirFiddler
Board Legend
Joined: Mar 30, 2004
Posts: 11423
Location: Very close to a bottle of chilled Boags
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July 01, 2005 - 10:01 AM |
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well, i realized that i was asking for a handjob instead of a lighter for the first half a year...
whatever the pinyin is , something like da ho chi for lighter and da fei chi for handjob |
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Beer...Soooo much more than just breakfast www.justbeer.cn |
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lucar
Board Royalty
Joined: July 05, 2004
Posts: 6252
Status: Offline
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July 01, 2005 - 10:07 AM |
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^ What's wrong with you?!
| Quote: |
Third, how do you guys live in China for this long without learning Chinese? What is wrong with you guys? After 6 weeks in China, I was riding trains all by myself having conversations with all the Chinese around me.
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lucar
Board Royalty
Joined: July 05, 2004
Posts: 6252
Status: Offline
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July 01, 2005 - 10:11 AM |
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Oh and BTW-every time Magnolia wants to say that she's tired in Chinese, she screams out that she is having an orgasm. |
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bougie
Board Buddha
Joined: Nov 20, 2004
Posts: 13251
Location: Wuhan Hubei China
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July 01, 2005 - 10:20 AM |
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I think it costs 150 for a girl |
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Magnolia
Board Biatch
Joined: June 01, 2004
Posts: 31071
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July 01, 2005 - 10:23 AM |
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| lucar wrote: |
Oh and BTW-every time Magnolia wants to say that she's tired in Chinese, she screams out that she is having an orgasm.
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LUCAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
_________________
BOYCOTT BENSON SALON |
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Madibaman
SuperStar
Joined: Dec 27, 2003
Posts: 1483
Location: Medicinal Planet
Status: Offline
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July 01, 2005 - 11:33 AM |
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Nokia - Connecting People.
Girl - RMB100.
I think that's where he made the connection. |
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Earth is full. Go home. |
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Edgewood
FooSlinger
Joined: Jan 28, 2004
Posts: 3906
Location: Colonial Shanghai
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July 01, 2005 - 12:30 PM |
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| After 6 weeks in China, I was riding trains all by myself having conversations with all the Chinese around me |
And after a few months of talking to locals, you hated this place so much you had to leave. Whereas I, on the other hand, wouldn't piss on a local if it was on fire, let alone actually try to communicate with it.
You can keep your advanced Ewok Hua, thanks AJJ: I have no need for it. |
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Conlige suspectos semper habitos |
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acujerjer
Board Royalty
Joined: Sep 10, 2003
Posts: 7770
Location: up your butt and around the corner
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July 01, 2005 - 12:55 PM |
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Edgewood:
"And after a few months of talking to locals, you hated this place so much you had to leave. Whereas I, on the other hand, wouldn't piss on a local if it was on fire"
That is hilarious! yo're awesome. Lucar, I hear you bro.
I guess that was my problem. I understood what they were saying. If I didn't know what they were saying, maybe I'd still be in China. Fukin hilarious!
Asking for a hand job when you want a lighter. Brilliant!
I remember asking for a pen a lot but it came out sounding like "Do you have a vagina?" |
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Edgewood
FooSlinger
Joined: Jan 28, 2004
Posts: 3906
Location: Colonial Shanghai
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July 01, 2005 - 12:58 PM |
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| I remember asking for a pen a lot but it came out sounding like "Do you have a vagina?" |
Most Shanghainese boys would answer that with a "Yes!" |
_________________
Conlige suspectos semper habitos |
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acujerjer
Board Royalty
Joined: Sep 10, 2003
Posts: 7770
Location: up your butt and around the corner
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July 01, 2005 - 01:06 PM |
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Oh tottaly. I can't tell you how many times I woke up from a drunk night with a Shanghai boy in my bed thinking his butt was a vagina the night before. I always made them give me my money back when that happened. |
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gman
Rocker
Joined: May 12, 2005
Posts: 647
Location: Chicago Illinois
Status: Offline
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July 01, 2005 - 05:57 PM |
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Mags,
you are such a ballsy babe, screaming out right there in public that yyyyoure hhhaveing an orgasm.
the more i hear about you the more i want you.
so subtle too...right there in public dam man.... |
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Rio
Post Boaster
Joined: Dec 04, 2004
Posts: 4724
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July 01, 2005 - 06:22 PM |
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It's alright to make mistakes, you are learning from it lucar. But you gave me a good laugh as well 
| SirFiddler wrote: |
well, i realized that i was asking for a handjob instead of a lighter for the first half a year...
whatever the pinyin is , something like da ho chi for lighter and da fei chi for handjob |
Hahaha, da fei chi! Go hit your airplane yourself! 
| Kiwi wrote: |
Not 'zong zhi ka'. Should be 'chong1zhi2 ka3' |
This is the right one yes! |
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wsl
SuperStar
Joined: June 23, 2005
Posts: 1595
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July 02, 2005 - 07:42 PM |
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so you see how stupid lucar is? |
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