CALL ME~~~
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DragonAss
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 25, 2005
Posts: 2566
Status: Offline
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  Posted:
Aug 01, 2005 - 11:43 PM |
 
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| Post subject: CALL ME~~~ |
Do you guys also experience this "CALL ME" trend??
Whenever I met some guys they offered their contact details and later before we departed, they would all say "CALL ME"!!!
First I thought I was simply surrounded by some kind of freaks whose previous jobs in call centre or this sex phone chat line, but then I witnessed my friends got the same treatments from guys around them as well.
Am I too masculine, therefore, I am assigned in this "CALL ME" thingy?? |
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MichaelT
Raver
Joined: Mar 15, 2005
Posts: 416
Location: Silicon Valley - > Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Aug 02, 2005 - 01:03 AM |
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Maybe you should just stop thinking can call the guy if you like him? |
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olesechka
Rocker
Joined: Nov 02, 2004
Posts: 782
Location: somewhere moving around
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Aug 02, 2005 - 01:58 AM |
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DragonAss , sorry are you he or she? |
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DragonAss
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 25, 2005
Posts: 2566
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Aug 02, 2005 - 02:23 AM |
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If he, makes me gay  ... if she, makes me feel so masculine  ... Dont you think, Ole?? 
To MikeyIT: I did if I was interested in that fella, maybe my friend was rite to say that guys here in Shanghai threw baits as much as they could.
Just wondering if the boys actually do this or if the gals also experience this very same trend??
I just got paranoid by this CALL ME attitude... I couldnt stop my rolling eyes en feel pukey when I saw someone pointed the fingers, with slightly slid eyes en screamed loudly "choolllll miiiiii" |
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DragonAss
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 25, 2005
Posts: 2566
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Aug 02, 2005 - 02:26 AM |
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eh... dont get me wrong... it's not like I was lingering around anyone during the conversation like some kind of cheap stakes. We just had normal conversation but soon they're in action with this CALL ME thing, I would slowly drop their business card in the bin. |
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olesechka
Rocker
Joined: Nov 02, 2004
Posts: 782
Location: somewhere moving around
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Aug 02, 2005 - 02:37 AM |
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Frankly, it is quite normal. Many guys do that and I am like used to it. Never even thought thta it is something wrong. I always say that I am engaged so that to avoid any ambiguity but still at the end of conversation or party many give me a telephone or email and say smth like if you ever...(want to dance salsa again with me, or visit my hometown, or whatever)
So I do not find anything masculine in it. At least I am not at all masculine  but it happens all the time. |
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DragonAss
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Joined: Apr 25, 2005
Posts: 2566
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Aug 02, 2005 - 03:04 AM |
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Well... those you heard was more as pick-up lines (and without any respect, we're crossing the border to Xtina's thread). What I am talking about is about the literal phrase "call me". I feel like being encouraged to make a move, yet I think it's more the male's roles. At least I would expect that much from a male gender. |
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DragonAss
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Joined: Apr 25, 2005
Posts: 2566
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Aug 02, 2005 - 03:11 AM |
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Gosh... I sound so primitive, like someone from a time capsule.
Pliz forgive my curiousity... It's just strange to me, ess when I heard one of my guy friends said proudly that anyone who needed him would call him first. |
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olesechka
Rocker
Joined: Nov 02, 2004
Posts: 782
Location: somewhere moving around
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Aug 02, 2005 - 04:12 AM |
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 Again I do not find any masculine in this. I was not really saying about pick-up lines as during conversations they usually approve that we will just be friends and that there is no means to change that even if there was any kind of desire from his side. But you know guys, they say always one think but think about another So, when they usually say "call me", they highlight that it would be just for a friends meeting. And actually sometimes it does happen like this, but in this case I usually prefer email, never call. Sometimes they call or email but the majority give me their contact info.
Reason may be is that guys do not want to get a "no" answer if they call, but if I myself decide to call/email then they will be feeling fine. For the same reason many also send SMS suggesting going out for a drink or diner or some excursions instead of calling. Well, me think so  . |
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DeeLphiC
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 11, 2005
Posts: 3333
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Aug 02, 2005 - 08:03 AM |
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Hi DragonAss, you are not alone here. The "Call Me" thing does seem to become kinda trendy thing nowadays, which I too find a bit awkward.
I basically have no problem calling a guy that I thought we would never have anything further than friendship. I am very confident and can be rather tough and initiative, and often do a quite good job in business contact, but I simply just would not call at a level of personal interaction with the opposite sex even if I like the guy ... and as a matter of fact, it seems the more I care about the guy, the less chance I would call, as I am in fear of the "no" answer too. I guess it hurts when I feel I am not wanted by someone I want them to want me.
I thought it was not right and not normal, and one of my issues that I need to get over with. well, I used to be very bad at the eye-contact thing too. I just would not look at others' face when speaking with them. I had been told by my boss from the first job that it was not right, and to show respect, people should look into others' eyes when listening and talking with them. I tried to improve and I made it. I thought I could make the same progress in the taking-initiatives-in-calling-guy thing, cause I really thought it's not a big deal to make the first move if I DO like him and want to try something further with him, however, my bad luck got me nowhere, and now makes me even more awkward in doing such. So, DragonAss your posts definitely make me feel better knowing I am not alone and not that much a "uptight weirdo".
Since I am of such a complex, when I am left teh phone number and supposedly to make the first move by a guy out of his thought as "anyone who needed me would call me first.", and yes I WOULD like to have a relationship with him, so what if for some reason I no longer have his number??? Does that mean we probably will never get a go??
D |
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DeeLphiC
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 11, 2005
Posts: 3333
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Aug 02, 2005 - 08:50 AM |
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I understand same thing could happen to guys, and there are guys that are of the same complex as mine - they might have bad luck and got turned down by girls that got their feeling hurt, they may from somewhere that power struggle between a couple used to be main pattern and an everyday scenario in life growing up that may build up in their minds some wrong idea in terms of interaction and communication between opposite sexes.
I know in my case, I have that strange defense system thing taht I build up huge walls to protect myself and then - as soon as I meet someone who seems to be of same complex as mine and will help me to repeat the life patterns I had when growing up, I open up and lower the drawbridge and invite them in. I am quite sure it is becasue I feel some deep emotional connection, i.e. empathy etc. with them thus I assume we can better understand each other and each other's emotional needs, also, that means at least I can get some ideas on what is going to happen in my life and how I should deal with my role in a relationship out of what I have learned as a witness from others' failure in such - that makes me feel secure and comfortable, I guess.
So my question is, when I meet someone like that, how can I handle such without turning down both of us???
D |
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SirFiddler
Board Legend
Joined: Mar 30, 2004
Posts: 11504
Location: Very close to a bottle of chilled Boags
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Aug 02, 2005 - 09:43 AM |
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What do you women friggin expect ? That we run after you from the beginning ? We gotta do it for the rest of our lives anyways, so you might as well do the first step and call us ...
So DragonAss,
call me
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DeeLphiC
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Joined: Mar 11, 2005
Posts: 3333
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Aug 02, 2005 - 09:44 AM |
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talking about emails/phonecalls/SMS, when it comes to communication in relationship, I prefer emails when I want to let him know my feelings and thoughts. Even with my chinese ex, we wrote to each other a lot. I guess it is because, knowing where I am from and being aware of the issues that may bother and disturb my personal life, I need time to think well to justify my initial response and reaction towards situations of difficulty and make sure I am dealing with it from a "normal" stand while not out of my "dis-ease" defense system.
When talking face to face, besides the time limit as I mentioned abaove, I often find myself being restrained from full expression of what's in my mind. I guess when I care about someone, it is really that much to see him getting disappointed and upset no matter who's right.
D |
Last edited by DeeLphiC on Aug 02, 2005 - 10:00 AM; edited 1 time in total |
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DeeLphiC
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 11, 2005
Posts: 3333
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| Posted:
Aug 02, 2005 - 09:53 AM |
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| SirFiddler wrote: |
What do you women friggin expect ? That we run after you from the beginning ? We gotta do it for the rest of our lives anyways, so you might as well do the first step and call us ...
So DragonAss,
call me
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^ who run after who a?! stop bringing that stupid power struggle shiaat again ... people don't get married to stack up against each other, they get married to share life ... so now ask yourself and tell us -
Do you want to be happy, or, do you want to be right???
And, well, it is a world of man's will anyway ... !
Hey you have not replied to my email yet, you BadAss ... lol
D |
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SirFiddler
Board Legend
Joined: Mar 30, 2004
Posts: 11504
Location: Very close to a bottle of chilled Boags
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Aug 02, 2005 - 10:05 AM |
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See this is why men always think you're too complicated...
You're discussing about a first call, and it looks like you make a religion out of it ... AND IT"S ONLY THE FIRST CALL...
He : "Hey Darling where do you want to go for dinner tonight"
She : " I don't know, where do you want to go ?"
He :"Listen love, I ask you, because tonight is for you. You pick , wherever you want whatever you want"
She :"Oh really , hmmmmm"
5 minutes silence, she is thinking
She :" Ahhhh, I really dont know where to go, why don't you pick ?"
he "Baby, you sure ? Got no idea where you want to go ?"
She "No, I am good, whereever you want to go, I am fine with it as long as I am with you"
He "Alright then, get ready, we leave in an hour"
She "Okay"
One hour later then when in the taxi
He , telling directions to the taxi drive
She "Oh, we're going to XXX ?"
HE " Yeah, you told me to pick"
She "Yeah but i dont like it there, the food is crap, the service bad, why do you always get to pick ?"
HE "AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH"
and that's only the first date...
This is why we ask you to call first , if you can't make your mind up about that first call, you're probably trouble anyways |
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DeeLphiC
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 11, 2005
Posts: 3333
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Aug 02, 2005 - 10:15 AM |
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oh geeeeeeeez ... the first call hasn't been made yet, you already expect the first date to end up in such a shitty way ... never know a paranoia complex can be taht worse ... even worse than me ... grrrrrrrrrrrrrr ... definitely trouble ... !
D |
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SirFiddler
Board Legend
Joined: Mar 30, 2004
Posts: 11504
Location: Very close to a bottle of chilled Boags
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Aug 02, 2005 - 10:18 AM |
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that has nothing to do with paranoia little D.... it's a fact of life... women are just complicated , most of them.
I bet there is at least 100guys on this site who have experienced this, not only once ... |
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DeeLphiC
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Joined: Mar 11, 2005
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Aug 02, 2005 - 10:23 AM |
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oh okay I see i am still the "para"queen ... sigh in releif ... lol
D |
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costes
Talker
Joined: Feb 21, 2005
Posts: 80
Status: Offline
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Aug 02, 2005 - 10:42 AM |
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hey, i get that too except that my situation is kinda in reverse. i meet a girl at a club, she gives me her number and asks me to "call her" when we split. a couple of days later, i do just that and she plays all hard to get, not free blah blah. what gives?! why give me your number, ask me to call u and then play prima donna?! |
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SirFiddler
Board Legend
Joined: Mar 30, 2004
Posts: 11504
Location: Very close to a bottle of chilled Boags
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Aug 02, 2005 - 10:46 AM |
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don't even try to understand women. they don't even understand themselves...
appearantly , there is a great deal of "running after them" involved with Chinese women ( not all but a lot of those I met, and that includes both, dates and friends ) . If you dont make the first 300 steps, you'll never get somewhere.
Apperantly they need prove that you are really serious about going out with them ...Talking about being insecure , so once you ask THEM to call YOU , you totally confuse them, see posts above  |
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Beer...Soooo much more than just breakfast www.justbeer.cn |
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Magnolia
Board Biatch
Joined: June 01, 2004
Posts: 31091
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Aug 02, 2005 - 10:49 AM |
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| DeeLphiC wrote: |
talking about emails/phonecalls/SMS, when it comes to communication in relationship, I prefer emails when I want to let him know my feelings and thoughts. Even with my chinese ex, we wrote to each other a lot. I guess it is because, knowing where I am from and being aware of the issues that may bother and disturb my personal life, I need time to think well to justify my initial response and reaction towards situations of difficulty and make sure I am dealing with it from a "normal" stand while not out of my "dis-ease" defense system.
When talking face to face, besides the time limit as I mentioned abaove, I often find myself being restrained from full expression of what's in my mind. I guess when I care about someone, it is really that much to see him getting disappointed and upset no matter who's right.
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Interesting to prefer email over face-to-face. I know what you mean about being able to spend time to write and email and try to make sure that everything is said... but for some reason I prefer face-to-face over anything. An email would be second (or maybe a letter, although usually I never send them, just write them). Too many different meanings can be implied and nuances not understood when communicating wordlessly.
"Call me" ... i think it is a more casual thing these days... men don't always have to be the first to call, which can be a good thing. Of course, men should know that it is appreciated by many women to receive the first call or at least text. To be honest, if a man I just met gives me his number and says "call me", I usually don't... not unless we had been chatting for a while and I saw a reason to call him. Even then, I will usually just send a text. |
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costes
Talker
Joined: Feb 21, 2005
Posts: 80
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Aug 02, 2005 - 10:53 AM |
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jeez, right on sirfiddler...
to the gals who are guilty of this and listening, how can a guy be so serious about you after meeting you for all of half an hour?! you've got to give us a chance to get to know you better before either party can make up his/her mind. if it doesnt work out, being friends is just cool. so playing prima donna is not gonna do anything for you, geddit?!?! |
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DeeLphiC
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 11, 2005
Posts: 3333
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Aug 02, 2005 - 11:50 AM |
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jeez, right on Mag ...
to the guys who are guilty of this and listening, how can a girl be so sure that you are not fuku/rutu type after meeting you for all of half an hour?! you've got to give us a chance to get to know you better before either party can make up his/her mind. if it doesnt work out, being friends is just cool. so playing prima [filling the blank please] is not gonna do anything for you, geddit?!?!
D |
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DeeLphiC
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 11, 2005
Posts: 3333
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Aug 02, 2005 - 11:51 AM |
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grrrrrrrrrrr ... okay being bum bud if your fuku/rutu type ...
D |
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costes
Talker
Joined: Feb 21, 2005
Posts: 80
Status: Offline
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Aug 02, 2005 - 11:59 AM |
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