| Author |
Message |
GeoffOz
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 28, 2005
Posts: 2778
Location: Lost in Shanghai
Status: Offline
|
 Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 02:17 PM |
 
|
| Post subject: Transition from Newbie to Expat? |
So at what point does one transform from a naive newbie to an expert expat? I don't think I'm there yet, but I have noticed some changes take place in my outlook. For example:
[1] I can now calmly sit in a taxi while the driver madly negotiates the traffic and not even feel that my life is in danger.
[2] I am now very careful and selective of the places to go for a haircut.
[3] I no longer consider hotpants and tight half t-shirts inappropriate dress for a professional office.
[4] I am no longer offended when about three people push in front while waiting in a queue.
[5] I no longer draw a distinction between green and red at the lights.
[6] Paying anything over 6RMB for a DVD is considered outrageous.
[7] Buying an Armani shirt [Long Sleeves] at the Xiang Yang market for under 30RMB has become a personal life challenge.
[8] I am surprised if, after a day touring the city, I return home without at least one telephone number of a young woman.
[9] I no longer ask for the bill [mai dan] before I ask for the menu [cai dan].
[10] Walking on the roadside [instead of the footpath] in my pyjama pants, old t-shirt and thongs [flip flops to North American readers] is considered quite normal and appropriate.
Are there any others that I should be aware of? |
_________________
The secrets of this Earth are not for all to see, but only for those who will seek them... |
|
|
|
SirFiddler
Board Legend
Joined: Mar 30, 2004
Posts: 11424
Location: Very close to a bottle of chilled Boags
|
| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 02:20 PM |
|
|
Quite good so far, welcome to the expat community , ALTHOUGH, you're going one step further, the transition from EXPAT to LOCAL, clearly proven by point 10 . Once you start growing your fingernails, spit whenever you feel like AND make a taxi driver stop on a long ride, just so you can have a whizz while on the highway, you've gone a bit too far... |
_________________
Beer...Soooo much more than just breakfast www.justbeer.cn |
|
 |
|
Andreas
Board Royalty
Joined: Feb 27, 2004
Posts: 6315
Location: 31 N 121 E
|
| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 02:21 PM |
|
|
Seems you're getting there mate.... |
_________________
If it has tits, tires, or a transom, there's gonna be issues! |
|
|
|
*CheerLeader*Mao
Post Roaster
Joined: July 07, 2004
Posts: 4678
Location: frenCh belgiuM
|
| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 02:22 PM |
|
|
FYI we call 'um thongs in canada too.
anyway, bloody hilarious post. that is a great view of a newbies experience. |
_________________
 |
|
|
|
|
Andreas
Board Royalty
Joined: Feb 27, 2004
Posts: 6315
Location: 31 N 121 E
|
| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 02:22 PM |
|
|
You should get worried though if the footprints on the toilet seat are your own... |
_________________
If it has tits, tires, or a transom, there's gonna be issues! |
|
|
|
|
mat
Board Royalty
Joined: Apr 26, 2004
Posts: 6926
Location: Loooooooooooose!
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 02:26 PM |
|
|
We will put you up for advancement at the next Expat approval meeting. |
_________________
www.justbeer.cn Get Loooooooose! |
|
 |
|
GeoffOz
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 28, 2005
Posts: 2778
Location: Lost in Shanghai
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 02:29 PM |
|
|
There's also:
[11] While enjoying drinks and conversation at Senses, I am no longer surprised by the amount of stylish cars and less stylish men across the road. |
_________________
The secrets of this Earth are not for all to see, but only for those who will seek them... |
|
|
|
|
*CheerLeader*Mao
Post Roaster
Joined: July 07, 2004
Posts: 4678
Location: frenCh belgiuM
|
| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 02:30 PM |
|
|
1. You no longer believe chinese people when after saying Ni Hao they say to you, "you chinese verry goood." and give you the thumbs up sign.
2. You haVe been to viSa office on the Wai Tan (Bund) at lEast onCE. Bonus pointS if you hAve visited the police officers in the back room and paid a fine.
3. You can order your favourite meal in Chinese and the waitress doesn't blink or laugh.
4. Instead of a daily meal of comfort food, McDonalds is now just as disgusting as the one back home.
5. You go to a dinner party with colleagues and at least two male members and one female member shows up with a hired escort and you don't think twice about it. Bonus points if either of the two males and one female have spouses. |
_________________
Last edited by *CheerLeader*Mao on Aug 31, 2005 - 01:47 AM; edited 1 time in total |
|
|
|
|
acujerjer
Board Royalty
Joined: Sep 10, 2003
Posts: 7770
Location: up your butt and around the corner
|
| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 05:17 PM |
|
|
What's inside your refrigerator is identical to what you had back home! |
|
|
|
|
|
Edgewood
FooSlinger
Joined: Jan 28, 2004
Posts: 3906
Location: Colonial Shanghai
|
| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 06:52 PM |
|
|
You have no problem donkey punching old ladies who get in your way. Hell, everyone else seems to do it. |
_________________
Conlige suspectos semper habitos |
|
|
|
|
GC
The Ginger Prince
Joined: Dec 01, 2003
Posts: 21531
|
| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 06:54 PM |
|
|
| Andreas wrote: |
| You should get worried though if the footprints on the toilet seat are your own... |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
Goosie
Board Grand Dame
Joined: July 16, 2003
Posts: 4771
Location: Singapore
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Aug 30, 2005 - 08:30 PM |
|
|
You wash your hands before you go pee. |
_________________
Nemesis of Political Correctness |
|
|
|
|
Michael
Moderator
Joined: Mar 22, 2002
Posts: 5272
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Aug 31, 2005 - 08:24 AM |
|
|
Wow Geoff, I think you are going to make it here.. |
|
|
|
|
|
acujerjer
Board Royalty
Joined: Sep 10, 2003
Posts: 7770
Location: up your butt and around the corner
|
| Posted:
Aug 31, 2005 - 09:36 AM |
|
|
When you spot someone for a bench press you make sure your legs are on both sides of his ears and tea bag his forehead. Then in the shower room soap up outside of the shower space facing the other guys happily giggling while soaping up your balls. |
|
|
|
|
|
gman
Rocker
Joined: May 12, 2005
Posts: 647
Location: Chicago Illinois
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Aug 31, 2005 - 07:25 PM |
|
|
still laughing on thatun acujerjer. thanks for the chuckle |
|
|
|
|
|
Madibaman
SuperStar
Joined: Dec 27, 2003
Posts: 1483
Location: Medicinal Planet
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Sep 01, 2005 - 09:02 AM |
|
| Post subject: Re: Transition from Newbie to Expat? |
| GeoffOz wrote: |
[3] I no longer consider hotpants and tight half t-shirts inappropriate dress for a professional office. |
Um... is that what you wear to work now? Dude, scratch that beer you wanted to buy me, ya? I'll uh, grab my own. Thanks. |
_________________
Earth is full. Go home. |
|
|
|
|
GeoffOz
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 28, 2005
Posts: 2778
Location: Lost in Shanghai
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Sep 01, 2005 - 04:39 PM |
|
| Post subject: Re: Transition from Newbie to Expat? |
| Madibaman wrote: |
| GeoffOz wrote: |
[3] I no longer consider hotpants and tight half t-shirts inappropriate dress for a professional office. |
Um... is that what you wear to work now? Dude, scratch that beer you wanted to buy me, ya? I'll uh, grab my own. Thanks. |
I think I may need to clarify this one.
Of course, I wasn't referring to me. I was referring to the personal assistants and translators that work here.
I'm the one with the pyjama pants [Long pants] and thongs walking around the office and trying to appear politcally correct by not staring. So far, I'm failing miserably. |
_________________
The secrets of this Earth are not for all to see, but only for those who will seek them... |
|
|
|
|
Madibaman
SuperStar
Joined: Dec 27, 2003
Posts: 1483
Location: Medicinal Planet
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Sep 01, 2005 - 05:13 PM |
|
|
Yes GeoffOz, we believe you. I'm just thankful I haven't met you yet. The mental image would scare me shitless. |
_________________
Earth is full. Go home. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forum FAQ
Search
Preferences
Watched Topics
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
