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FTM
Raver
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Posts: 478
Status: Offline
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 Posted:
May 05, 2007 - 10:31 PM |
 
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| Post subject: English-Speaking Ayi: Too Good To Be True? |
Is this too good to be true? Any advice?
PROS
-From Shanghai
-Fluent in English (I could finally communicate with a Shanghainese ayi!)
-Worked for Expat family before they moved
-Recommendation letter from previous Expat employer stating her good traits
-High hygiene standards (wouldn't touch my baby because of dirty hands)
-Will do everything--cooking included
-Early 30's
-Has a kid
-Pay in high 1,000s rmb (Mon - Fri, 10am to 6pm, but should we do more?)
-Will provide Medical Examination Record on her own
CONS (Are they really cons)
-Has marital problems, so is separated, and son's living with her husband
-Doesn't make eye contact (Is this a sign of sneakiness?)
-May be a little shy--or is it sneaky?
Could the con's indicate some type of mental instability?
What are full-time Ayi work hours?
Can anyone provide advice? |
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stokiegal
Barker
Joined: Nov 04, 2006
Posts: 131
Status: Offline
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May 05, 2007 - 11:38 PM |
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I'll take her if you don't!
The 'cons' are nothing. Her son not living with her isn't unusual - often the grandparents look after the children full time, whilst the parents work in the city. My old Ayi only saw her daughter twice a year.
Lack of eye contact is more likely to be shyness or just a cultural difference. I understand that sometimes direct eye contact can be interpreted as aggressive or lacking in respect - or so I was told!
I'd hire her and see how it goes - you're not signing a lifetime contract!!
- and if you decide not to take her, let me know - my Ayi left on Monday...!!! |
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FTM
Raver
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Posts: 478
Status: Offline
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May 06, 2007 - 10:48 AM |
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Thanks, stokiegal. I sent you a PM.
What's fair pay for an ayi with the above listed qualities? |
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sioux
Ranter
Joined: Sep 11, 2005
Posts: 553
Location: Putuo, Shanghai
Status: Offline
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May 06, 2007 - 01:06 PM |
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Didn't the ayi give you a price? If she has worked for others, then I think many times she has a standard rate. I think that when she speaks English the price is higher. I know that one of the ayi agencies charge for 15 rmb if the don't speak english and 25 rmb per hour if they do.
I think it is diffecult to make a pros and cons list before you have tried her, because what might be pros for some can be cons for others - so just give her a try, that will tell you all you need to know about her! |
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FTM
Raver
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Posts: 478
Status: Offline
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May 06, 2007 - 01:39 PM |
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We decided on the salary, but I want to figure out where I stand. I wouldn't want to loose my ayi to a higher pay... |
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kimmie
Reacher
Joined: Apr 12, 2007
Posts: 256
Status: Offline
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May 06, 2007 - 03:17 PM |
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the rate for non-english speaking, chinese ayi with previous expat work experience, 6 days a week live-in is 2000rmb a month. So a competitive rate for your english speaking ayi 5 days/week would probably be the same. your cons seem minor right now whereas your pros are very good. |
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kimmie
Reacher
Joined: Apr 12, 2007
Posts: 256
Status: Offline
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May 06, 2007 - 03:20 PM |
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| stokiegal wrote: |
I'll take her if you don't!
The 'cons' are nothing. Her son not living with her isn't unusual - often the grandparents look after the children full time, whilst the parents work in the city. My old Ayi only saw her daughter twice a year.
...!!! |
TWICE a year?! Was this by choice or because she had to work for you? As a mother I can't imagine seeing your child only twice a year. That is criminal. |
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GirlatWork
Ranter
Joined: Feb 14, 2006
Posts: 596
Status: Offline
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May 06, 2007 - 03:38 PM |
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As a mother I can't even imagine seeing my children only once a week and that's why I won't consider sending them to boarding school... but that's me, my kids and my life but the locals think differently. That's why they call it cultural difference. May be when many others in their society are doing it, it makes things much more bearable. It has nothing to do with Stokiegal and before the ayi meeting her, I'm sure she (the ayi) has planned that way. |
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kimmie
Reacher
Joined: Apr 12, 2007
Posts: 256
Status: Offline
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May 06, 2007 - 04:19 PM |
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I think seeing your child so infrequently must be difficult for anyone regardless of the culture. Unfortunately, due to necessity a lot of poorer people from the rural areas are forced to find work in cities like SH, often times leaving their children with other caregivers, or even alone by themselves. There was a long article recently about it in the NY Times ( or was it Wall Street Journal). I've been torn about this issue myself - of paying another mother to care for my own child at the expense of her not being able to care for hers by herself. But then by hiring her, one is giving her a job and means in which to support her family. It's a terrible situation for a family to be in regardless. Children need to be with their parents if possible. |
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g-force
Barker
Joined: Apr 07, 2007
Posts: 127
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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May 06, 2007 - 05:02 PM |
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If you go to some of the rural areas, you only see old people and young kids. Everybody else who is capable of working is at big cities trying to earn a living. Some of them can't even afford to go home once a year. If you take time to talk to the massage girls, Ayis, you will find out how much they miss their kids, and how worried are they about them. |
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bus3
PopStar
Joined: July 25, 2004
Posts: 1017
Location: Here and there
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May 06, 2007 - 05:29 PM |
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g-force is right, there life here is very tough for many. We are very isolated from it. Sorry, I'm not trying to hijack the thread. |
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FTM
Raver
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Posts: 478
Status: Offline
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May 07, 2007 - 12:28 AM |
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Do any of you, those who have ayi's, worry that your own kids may be in danger of being mistreated by the ayi due to jealousy, stress, or simply because ayi's feel forced to do this job to support their own kids who stayed behind in the country side?
We recently interviewed an ayi we liked very much. She is 31, from Sichuan province, she left behind her husband and child for work in Shanghai to pay back a 20,000rmb loan. This loan was used to purchase land. This ayi's family is gaining a lot from her sacrifice and are probably living more comfortably than other folk in the same area. Of course, like kimmie, I feel so bad paying such a "miserable" wage, but it's a much better option than what they have at home... |
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kimmie
Reacher
Joined: Apr 12, 2007
Posts: 256
Status: Offline
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May 07, 2007 - 07:07 AM |
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Use your judgement. Observe her closely until you feel comfortable enough with her treatment of your child. You can get a good feel for her personality during an interview and esp. during the first few weeks together- is she agressive or meek, forthright or secretive, demanding or relaxed? Initial behaviour might not be a good indicator long-term as she will probably be on her "best behavior" mode in the beginning. If you offered fair compensation and treat her well (get to know her as a person), then she will less likely to be angry/resentful/jealous, etc. However, you must balance this with being firm, strong, and clear in your expectations of her duties otherwise you will be viewed as being weak or a pushover who can be taken advantage of. Fine line. Just don't treat her or anyone else you hire (i.e. driver) as "servants" or "the hired help" and you will be fine. |
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