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Goosie
Board Grand Dame
Joined: July 16, 2003
Posts: 4771
Location: Singapore
Status: Offline
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  Posted:
Aug 02, 2007 - 11:53 AM |
 
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| Post subject: Thursday Funnies! |
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more a attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
he second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns
several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.
Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.
Men are like that, you know.
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alz heimer's research. This
means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. |
_________________
Nemesis of Political Correctness |
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p1atl10
Board Royalty
Joined: Mar 18, 2005
Posts: 6046
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
Aug 02, 2007 - 12:00 PM |
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Bears repeating...
Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.
Dave Barry |
_________________
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.....Dave Barry |
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8lrr8
StreetBeater
Joined: Oct 14, 2004
Posts: 2336
Location: here!
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| Posted:
Aug 02, 2007 - 12:06 PM |
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| Post subject: Re: Thursday Funnies! |
| Goosie wrote: |
Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.
Men are like that, you know. |
of course no one really believes this, but it makes for a good laugh.
| Goosie wrote: |
| means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. |
i wouldnt worry. copulation isnt learned, it's innate. the pole will find the hole, one way or another. |
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bryan79
Reacher
Joined: Apr 05, 2007
Posts: 258
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
Aug 02, 2007 - 12:06 PM |
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Q: Why did the squirrel fall out the tree?
A: It was dead.
(crickets chirping...) |
_________________
Bears. Beets. Battlestar Gallactica. |
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Olorion
Rocker
Joined: July 26, 2005
Posts: 762
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
Aug 02, 2007 - 12:44 PM |
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| Quote: |
| (crickets chirping...) |
'
this made me laugh, I think i actually made the sound, and saw a cricket. |
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daxingxing
Reacher
Joined: Apr 06, 2007
Posts: 223
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Aug 02, 2007 - 03:23 PM |
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hahahah this is indeed funny~~~but women with huge front look tacky. that's why audrey hepburn looks so classic haha |
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Andreas
Board Royalty
Joined: Feb 27, 2004
Posts: 6315
Location: 31 N 121 E
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| Posted:
Aug 02, 2007 - 03:31 PM |
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| daxingxing wrote: |
| hahahah this is indeed funny~~~but women with huge front look tacky. that's why audrey hepburn looks so classic haha |
Bring on the tacky ones, any time.  |
_________________
If it has tits, tires, or a transom, there's gonna be issues! |
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8lrr8
StreetBeater
Joined: Oct 14, 2004
Posts: 2336
Location: here!
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| Posted:
Aug 02, 2007 - 03:41 PM |
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| daxingxing wrote: |
| hahahah this is indeed funny~~~but women with huge front look tacky. that's why audrey hepburn looks so classic haha |
if they're natural and she's not fat, i've never seen a woman who was too big. |
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daxingxing
Reacher
Joined: Apr 06, 2007
Posts: 223
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| Posted:
Aug 02, 2007 - 03:46 PM |
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| 8lrr8 wrote: |
| daxingxing wrote: |
| hahahah this is indeed funny~~~but women with huge front look tacky. that's why audrey hepburn looks so classic haha |
if they're natural and she's not fat, i've never seen a woman who was too big. |
really? what about that british celebrity, is she named Jordan？ |
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8lrr8
StreetBeater
Joined: Oct 14, 2004
Posts: 2336
Location: here!
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| Posted:
Aug 02, 2007 - 04:05 PM |
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| daxingxing wrote: |
| really? what about that british celebrity, is she named Jordan？ |
katie price? they're fake. |
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daxingxing
Reacher
Joined: Apr 06, 2007
Posts: 223
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Aug 02, 2007 - 04:27 PM |
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hahaha 8lrr8 must be skinny with huge front~~~ |
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alex-hk
SuperStar
Joined: Apr 21, 2003
Posts: 1419
Location: in there.
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| Posted:
Aug 02, 2007 - 06:16 PM |
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another great dating website...
 |
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8lrr8
StreetBeater
Joined: Oct 14, 2004
Posts: 2336
Location: here!
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| Posted:
Aug 02, 2007 - 07:10 PM |
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| daxingxing wrote: |
| hahaha 8lrr8 must be skinny with huge front~~~ |
i'm a guy. altho my GF's rack is huge if that counts for any brownie pts. |
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daxingxing
Reacher
Joined: Apr 06, 2007
Posts: 223
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 Posted:
Aug 03, 2007 - 11:18 AM |
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| 8lrr8 wrote: |
| daxingxing wrote: |
| hahaha 8lrr8 must be skinny with huge front~~~ |
i'm a guy. altho my GF's rack is huge if that counts for any brownie pts. |
ah !!! 8lrr8 is brownie pts??????????????????/
8lrr8 and his gf sitting on the tree,
k-i - s- s- i -n-g
first come brownie then come donut
.......................
i am so bored!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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8lrr8
StreetBeater
Joined: Oct 14, 2004
Posts: 2336
Location: here!
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| Posted:
Aug 03, 2007 - 11:23 AM |
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alex-hk
SuperStar
Joined: Apr 21, 2003
Posts: 1419
Location: in there.
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| Posted:
Aug 03, 2007 - 03:50 PM |
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Terror Alert Reactions
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The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."
Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz began in 1940 and tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued "A Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
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YorkshireKing
StreetBeater
Joined: Mar 16, 2007
Posts: 2349
Location: Loooooooooooooooooose in Luwan
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
Aug 03, 2007 - 10:31 PM |
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