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Living with wife's family. No English. No job. They hate me.

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Shanghai Expat Forum Index » Hot Topics Forums » Dating Singles, and Relationships

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gw4khq

Reacher

Joined: Nov 13, 2006
Posts: 325
Location: Lujiazui
Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 12, 2008 - 06:16 PM

Sorry aboute the spelling. Expire was not meant.

dfoo

Post Roaster

Joined: Jan 19, 2005
Posts: 4693

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 12, 2008 - 06:22 PM

What happens when you don't understand something and need help? What happens if you need something demonstrated (as the above poster points out)? For many courses you need access to equipment, which you likely do not have access to. Then there is the social aspect of the entire thing which you are missing out on.

woaihuan

StreetBeater

Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 2462

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 12, 2008 - 07:45 PM

Social aspect? What social aspect? "Stop talking in class!" or getting hammered on weekends? Which part are you talking about?

When I need some help, I either check online or ask someone. I can ask a teacher, but it's not that convenient so I typically use the most convenient method available. And don't say you can always ask a teacher when you're at school - what about homework?

I do not need access to equipment for any of my courses.

How about you go place your complaints with the person who came up with the idea of correspondence, rather than me?

Megs
Wonder Wit

Joined: Nov 12, 2005
Posts: 3829
Location: Jinshan, Shanghai China

Posted: Mar 12, 2008 - 08:15 PM

Just curious, are you going through ILC in Toronto for your correspondence courses?

I finished up high school through them (after leaving "normal school" at 15), and I thought they had excellent courses. Like you said, all the course material is provided for you, you get videos, and you can contact teachers anytime you like. Or is it through your home provinces school board?

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"Unless you are in a vacuum, this glass of which you speak will always be full, half of liquid, half of air, no matter your level of ignorance."

gw4khq

Reacher

Joined: Nov 13, 2006
Posts: 325
Location: Lujiazui
Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 12, 2008 - 08:16 PM

^ My question is about how you extend your knowledge beyond what you do via correspondence. I have no complaints about correspondence for learning, but surely when you do a subject like chemistry then there are additional projects beyond simply answering questions.

Megs
Wonder Wit

Joined: Nov 12, 2005
Posts: 3829
Location: Jinshan, Shanghai China

Posted: Mar 12, 2008 - 08:27 PM

gw4khq wrote:

I never took chemistry when I was doing correspondence, but I took physics, and there were experiments you could do in the books with simple household goods.

And all the courses I took had an Independent Study Unit, which was basically like an ultra-mini thesis pertaining to what you were studying. Don't remember what I did for most of my courses, but I ended up writing a 60 page "novelette" for my senior English credit.

And they encouraged things like going to museums, etc. like that for additional information, seeing plays for English class. I suppose I was lucky though, since I was involved in a lot of community related stuff at the time, so I usually had adults around me who were well-versed in what I was studying and could give me a different perspective, or suggest experiments, further courses of study, etc.

Except for my Chinese History course... no one around to help with that except the teachers, and they weren't really "around" around.

And after all that, I think I still didn't answer your question. Laughing

And I have no idea if he's doing the same type of correspondence that I did.

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"Unless you are in a vacuum, this glass of which you speak will always be full, half of liquid, half of air, no matter your level of ignorance."

hautumncloud
LoopKicker

Joined: Nov 04, 2006
Posts: 989

Posted: Mar 12, 2008 - 08:34 PM

ILC Toronto is a great course and very well organized. In terms of the concerns about getting help from the teachers, handing in assignments etc...anything you can think of in a regular classroom, is all covered in ILC. Actually, in my opinion it is quite efficient; if the student so desire, he/she can go as fast/slow as he/she wants (within a certain guideline of course). I think BC has one as well.

woaihuan

StreetBeater

Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 2462

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 12, 2008 - 09:03 PM

Doing Saskatchewan's courses.

There are no experiments, except two in physics involving string and some mirrors.

I don't see the need to have experiments, though. If I choose a career in chemistry, then I'll deal with it.

monalisalee

StreetBeater

Joined: May 10, 2005
Posts: 2461
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 12, 2008 - 09:27 PM

New blood. This is a very interesting post. Hey woaihuan, I am kinda on your side here. There is nothing wrong with correspondence to finish your education. I know many who thrived on that method. Depends on your attitude, and the reason you have to do it. For many it is the best way. Full marks to you for doing that. Many of the threads here are from people with failed marriages, (including me), so what gives them the right to advise you?. (including me). You seem to be very mature for your years, and have worked many things out. You are in a very unusual situation, but I am sure, as you are intelligent, you will find ways to solve these problems. I am married to a Chinese gal who is 24 years younger than me, but that's O.K. right?. I cannot understand why you should be critisized for being about what? 10 years younger than your wife. Age is but a number. It's a bit like sex, depends what you do with it.
I think I would work on the parents, with little gifts, and niceties, even if it hurts you. They will come around, eventually. You know the saying, "If the daughter you would win, with the Mother first begin!" Good Luck.
John.

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johnboy88

wonderer

Rocker

Joined: Sep 25, 2006
Posts: 674

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 12, 2008 - 10:24 PM

One can't properly learn chemistry without touching and smelling the stuff, then making it explode. Whether it's inorganic chemistry, organic chemistry or sexual chemistry.

OP: Some of my pals at CCTV are thinking about making a reality TV show about you and your family. It would be a first in China, and very lucrative for you all. Your wife's family would be honest, hardworking folk who respect the authorities. She'd be an uppity modern girl who never listens to her parents and always gets into scrapes. You'd be a gangly foreign goofball who's always getting everyone into ridiculous situations. Maybe some of your Canadian relatives or friends could make cameo appearances. PM me if interested.

Cambronne
Post Roaster

Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Posts: 4217

Posted: Mar 12, 2008 - 10:46 PM

Perhaps you could get CLM a job in this series?

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Swiss-James

Post Roaster

Joined: Jan 05, 2007
Posts: 4360

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 14, 2008 - 10:14 AM

wonderer wrote:

I think I've already seen this show...

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yu888
Board Deity

Joined: Jan 25, 2003
Posts: 19335
Location: ZhongShanParkArea SH

Posted: Mar 14, 2008 - 10:30 AM

correspondence... dry boring? maybe to us, but worst case he comes out a robot like so many of the local students do despite their access to "social aspects". This kid already thinks for himself, right or wrong, at least he's moving in the right direction.

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The right to free speech does not grant you freedom from the repercussions of what you say. This and more on my Blog...Random Thoughts about Living in Shanghai...and more

rxg

Raver

Joined: Sep 06, 2005
Posts: 496

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 14, 2008 - 10:53 AM

Never understand how people could get married after chatting on line???

Why people got married and create burden to each other and family when as a couple you cannot afford to have a pot to piss in and a window to throw it out????

Maybe she married you b/c it is a status simple (don't know, just guessing)
And you married her b/c it is a chance live be in SH and live for free...

woaihuan

StreetBeater

Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 2462

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 14, 2008 - 10:59 AM

rxg wrote:

I'm going to go out on a limb here, but,

no.

Leo_Br

Squeeker

Joined: Mar 14, 2008
Posts: 12

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 14, 2008 - 02:37 PM

They have first allowed you to marry their daughter, then allowed you move in. I don't think they really hate you.

woaihuan

StreetBeater

Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 2462

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 14, 2008 - 02:41 PM

They changed their mind and now we'll be moving to a nice (very nice) apartment in Jing An.

It's shared, and I know the girl we are sharing with. A friend of mine is moving out so we will move there. Ground floor apartment. 2500rmb.

Leo_Br

Squeeker

Joined: Mar 14, 2008
Posts: 12

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 14, 2008 - 02:49 PM

Lucky you!

woaihuan

StreetBeater

Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 2462

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 14, 2008 - 02:56 PM

Lucky me?

My current apartment is 1300rmb. The new one is almost double.

It's a nicer apartment, but still, we were kind of excited about moving to Nanhui.

This way, though, we'll be closer to her office... have to get myself an LPG now.

BONNIE
Fire-eater

Joined: June 17, 2005
Posts: 2539
Location: Amsterdam/Shanghai

Posted: Mar 14, 2008 - 04:02 PM

well she is not giving her mother the 1500 any more - she can help you with the apartment cost. She wants to marry a kid - she should be looking after you - not her parents !

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It is what it is...

Leo_Br

Squeeker

Joined: Mar 14, 2008
Posts: 12

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 14, 2008 - 04:08 PM

I suppose it is still within your budget.

Village life can be nice. If you want to keep that option open, I'd suggest you do something to improve the relationship with your in-laws.

woaihuan

StreetBeater

Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 2462

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 14, 2008 - 04:12 PM

I haven't seen them in over a year, so I haven't got that much of a chance. It's up to them.

Leo_Br

Squeeker

Joined: Mar 14, 2008
Posts: 12

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 14, 2008 - 04:23 PM

You haven't seen them in over a year? That sounds really bad for Chinese in-laws. Don't expect they will come to you. By doing that they will become joke of the neighborhood.