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maybe_time
Newbie
Joined: June 21, 2008
Posts: 3
Status: Offline
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June 21, 2008 - 12:45 PM |
 
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| Post subject: trusting a chinese girl |
I've been seeing a chinese girl for over a year now. She works in a bar but never asks me for anything. I know the deal.. buy a few drinks etc.. the occasional present.. she needs to work there to support her family etc. We are very close and I care a lot for her. She asked me if i wanted to buy an apartment with her? 50/50. Does this sound familiar to anyone? |
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Nathalie25
Board Legend
Joined: Aug 24, 2004
Posts: 10387
Location: Shanghai
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June 21, 2008 - 01:00 PM |
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I never hear this, but I like 50/50, I like go Dutch in my date or to do everything with someone in life, cause it is safer than being fooled by the person who wants to pay all bills for me for dominating me for his darkness lust or ecstasy~~~~ |
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功高盖主，必有祸出。人生是人类生命中内心和万般经历的真实写照。 http:/ |
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seabreeze98
Talker
Joined: Mar 11, 2008
Posts: 122
Location: How do you work the GPS?
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June 21, 2008 - 01:12 PM |
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Forrrrr rrrrrreal? :O |
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“It’s a totally different world, and it’s an expensive world,” Lever, the sociologist, said. “You can’t go around being a little princess on the pedestal.” |
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Nathalie25
Board Legend
Joined: Aug 24, 2004
Posts: 10387
Location: Shanghai
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June 21, 2008 - 01:14 PM |
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yeah, I pay what I order in Malones, you pay what you order in Malones and we will never owe each other for sure in reality~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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功高盖主，必有祸出。人生是人类生命中内心和万般经历的真实写照。 http:/ |
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maybe_time
Newbie
Joined: June 21, 2008
Posts: 3
Status: Offline
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June 21, 2008 - 01:22 PM |
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sounds like u relly on noone Nathalie.. v good to be independant:> Sagittarian like me.. very stubborn and honest yeh? |
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Nathalie25
Board Legend
Joined: Aug 24, 2004
Posts: 10387
Location: Shanghai
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June 21, 2008 - 01:31 PM |
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| maybe_time wrote: |
| sounds like u relly on noone Nathalie.. v good to be independant:> Sagittarian like me.. very stubborn and honest yeh? |
I am stubborn and honest, any problems with that? |
_________________
功高盖主，必有祸出。人生是人类生命中内心和万般经历的真实写照。 http:/ |
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maybe_time
Newbie
Joined: June 21, 2008
Posts: 3
Status: Offline
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June 21, 2008 - 01:35 PM |
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no! characteristics of sagittarians. I'm also suspicious and find it difficult to trust so u can imagine my worry about buying an apartment with a girl I am not even married to.. she calls it a partnership? |
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Nathalie25
Board Legend
Joined: Aug 24, 2004
Posts: 10387
Location: Shanghai
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June 21, 2008 - 01:41 PM |
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| Quote: |
| no! characteristics of sagittarians. I'm also suspicious and find it difficult to trust so u can imagine my worry about buying an apartment with a girl I am not even married to.. she calls it a partnership? |
This is your business, not mine, this is not my duty to discuss about some apartment that you should buy or not for your girls, you should deal your business by yourself, not others, and I am not your girl friend, so I don't know what you want to know from your girl friend~~~~~~~ |
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功高盖主，必有祸出。人生是人类生命中内心和万般经历的真实写照。 http:/ |
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Nathalie25
Board Legend
Joined: Aug 24, 2004
Posts: 10387
Location: Shanghai
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June 21, 2008 - 01:46 PM |
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And I can give you some suggestion if you want. I have to say that if people they have no idea about how you can run your privacy or your business completely or confidently or successfully by yourself, then you guys should never touch it by yourselves, otherwise, you will only get darkness or pains or endless headache on it, when you have no confidence or assurance to run your issues in life, then just stop it before the risk or danger it comes to you~~~~ |
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功高盖主，必有祸出。人生是人类生命中内心和万般经历的真实写照。 http:/ |
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lucyna
Veejay
Joined: Aug 03, 2006
Posts: 2166
Status: Offline
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June 21, 2008 - 02:14 PM |
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It's hard to say at this point. If you want others to give you some opinions, you might have to tell us more background details like if she's your gf. Or it seems odd to buy an apartment with a total stranger. |
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rayne
Reacher
Joined: May 19, 2008
Posts: 234
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June 21, 2008 - 02:19 PM |
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He's been seeing her for over a year, my understanding is that they're dating (maybe not exclusively). I wouldn't consider the possibility of buying an apartment with someone who is not my immediate family or without the bonds of matrimony. And in Shanghai? The risks are stacked against you. |
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Hai Bai is the good well ambassador of Shanghai Expo. (http://en.expo2010china.com/expo/expoenglish/mascot/Profile/userobject1ai47672.html) --- Get someone to proofread, sha.gua/gang.du! |
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lucyna
Veejay
Joined: Aug 03, 2006
Posts: 2166
Status: Offline
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June 21, 2008 - 02:26 PM |
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Yeah, it could be very risky in fact. |
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oh_the_darkness
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 17, 2008
Posts: 2528
Status: Offline
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June 21, 2008 - 02:44 PM |
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Here's my advice:
DON'T DO IT. |
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And you may ask yourself Am I right? ...am I wrong? And you may tell yourself My god!...what have I done? |
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Gabriel76
Reacher
Joined: May 22, 2007
Posts: 303
Status: Offline
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June 21, 2008 - 03:24 PM |
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u would be DUMB to do that |
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BONNIE
Veejay
Joined: June 17, 2005
Posts: 1892
Location: Amsterdam/Shanghai
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June 21, 2008 - 06:42 PM |
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Whose name will the property be in ? Have you been here long enough to own property ?
Will you both live there ?
Will she bring her family to live in "her half"
What happens if you split up - or if either of you wants out of the deal, or if you leave China one day?
Does she actually have the cash for for half the deal, or are you putting down the deposit and she wants to pay you out of her earnings ?
Think carefully - why do you need to buy a property here ?
What's in it for you - what's in it for her ? |
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Siberia.......Here I come ! |
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julianna
Reacher
Joined: Mar 02, 2008
Posts: 213
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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June 21, 2008 - 07:24 PM |
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You will know what you should do by answering all Bonnie's questions.  |
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lilypink
Reacher
Joined: June 10, 2007
Posts: 280
Status: Offline
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June 21, 2008 - 09:10 PM |
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My advice: if u dont want to marry her, dont do it! |
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ichbinani
Talker
Joined: Sep 07, 2006
Posts: 110
Location: shanghai
Status: Offline
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June 26, 2008 - 03:36 PM |
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| BONNIE wrote: |
Whose name will the property be in ? Have you been here long enough to own property ?
Will you both live there ?
Will she bring her family to live in "her half"
What happens if you split up - or if either of you wants out of the deal, or if you leave China one day?
Does she actually have the cash for for half the deal, or are you putting down the deposit and she wants to pay you out of her earnings ?
Think carefully - why do you need to buy a property here ?
What's in it for you - what's in it for her ? |
Totally Agree! Mature and Realistic Thinking! |
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dr3x320
Rocker
Joined: Nov 21, 2006
Posts: 637
Location: Boston + Pudong
Status: Offline
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June 26, 2008 - 04:21 PM |
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Just a heads up to the OP about buying an APT, if you Buy an APT and you mortgage it out, if its solely under your name, your wife will have dibs if divorced. The downpayment you paid, she won't be able to get.
For instance,
You buy an apartment, your name, it costs 3 Mill RMB
you downpayment 1 Mill RMB, theres 2 Mill RMB to mortgage, that is what can be divided between two parties.
You buy an apartment, your name only, it costs 3 Mill RMB, you pay the full 3 Mill RMB, no mortgage. If divorce comes into play, guess what, she gets half.
If during the marriage she asks to have her name put onto the deed or (Shanghai Green Book) which makes this city evolve and "go round", she of course still gets half, but the part about her asking, and you answering her back in reply might be a bit uncomfortable, and an awkward situation perhaps, so either way, you get jacked, T.I.C./W.T.C. and all that slap happy bs.
Unless you prenupt, or not whipped in the case it won't matter. So pick them wisely.
Good Luck. |
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Boston ™ Shanghai ™ Goteborg ™ |
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Andreas
Board Royalty
Joined: Feb 27, 2004
Posts: 6333
Location: 31 N 121 E
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June 26, 2008 - 04:56 PM |
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Good advice from BONNIE! |
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If it has tits, tires, or a transom, there's gonna be issues! |
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Zak101
Raver
Joined: Jan 20, 2003
Posts: 406
Location: Suzhou
Status: Offline
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July 04, 2008 - 03:21 PM |
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.... She works in a bar..... Tell me, my friend - how will she possibly be able to service her 50% of the mortgage with that fabulous salary ? Have you checked for the other 2 boyfriends that she has also on a string ?
...She asked me....
Oh, Gawd. I wonder why You didn't ask Her ? Oh, and by the way, I hope you like family, because even if you were ahhh...so indiscreet as to sign up, then you'll have lots of family living with you. Might even become a half-way home for her distant relatives looking for a job in the Big Smoke.
Q: Would you do this in your own Country ? A: Probably NOT.
So, why do it here ? If you step out of that loop now, you won't have to whine on the forums later about how you got suckered, even though you saw it coming "but she seemed so nice & innocent".
Hint : Run for your life ! |
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...- -.- -.... -.. -- --.. |
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Nathalie25
Board Legend
Joined: Aug 24, 2004
Posts: 10387
Location: Shanghai
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July 04, 2008 - 07:21 PM |
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I probably will buy a nice apartment by my own, so this apartment will always belong to me, no matter what will happen, so I can kick anyone out of my apartment if I want to~~~~~~~~~ |
_________________
功高盖主，必有祸出。人生是人类生命中内心和万般经历的真实写照。 http:/ |
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amimi
Reacher
Joined: Sep 08, 2007
Posts: 249
Location: Bloody SH
Status: Offline
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July 04, 2008 - 10:24 PM |
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geezzz...
for me...totally opposite...
hmm...I am just too hard to trust a white guy...huh? esp someone you are seeing...and whom will off to Europe for 6 wks tomoro night...
The feeling sux...
Trusting a white guy...how can I...? |
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Finally B A C K? huh? Postcard...Mug...Versace T-shirt...Cross with Jesus...Opppssss~ |
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chamaflauge
Raver
Joined: Nov 28, 2007
Posts: 385
Status: Offline
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July 05, 2008 - 10:24 AM |
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"amini" shut up with your bullsh@t. Your reverse psychology won't work here. Why the hell you on this website if you don't like or trust white men.?This is one thing I don't like about living in China. Chinese (mainland) tend to group people in categories by color and race.
Don't like a white guy? date a black guy if not stop stop whining |
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chamaflauge
Raver
Joined: Nov 28, 2007
Posts: 385
Status: Offline
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July 05, 2008 - 10:26 AM |
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Oh and by the way this is a stupid topic made to separate the races even more. You should know not to put half your money intoa person whose culture you do not understand...period...You'd be shark bait in Thailand |
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