Do western ladies consider money when they select BF/Husband
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tigerduck
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 Posted:
June 30, 2008 - 10:17 AM |
 
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[quote="italian-in-SH"][quote="ichbinani"]
Frankly speaking, personally I don't have too much interest on guys younger than 36- not deep/mature/complex enough.[/quote]
But if you are staying with a PhD student, I suppose he is younger than 36. So, how do you explain this contradiction?[/quote]
Since it's a German PhD student it's quite possible that he is around 36  |
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SnappySammy
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June 30, 2008 - 10:56 AM |
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why are Germans slow learners |
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Jimmy_Floyd
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June 30, 2008 - 11:10 AM |
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They're tightening up a bit now, but the German university system used to allow people to study for pretty much as long as they wanted. You can choose when you want to sit exams, so if you feel you're not ready you just defer it until the next semester. Also, a lot of people work part- or even full-time while doing their degrees. As a result, undergrads in their 30s are pretty common. Used to be free as well... |
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edbreejen
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June 30, 2008 - 11:58 AM |
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Does childish refer to clothes and aesthetics...or could it also refer to general behaviour and in general the ability to handle emotionally difficult situations in other ways than 'yelling, screaming and game playing'?
I'm lucky my wife (born in Shanghai, but also lived in Europe some years) is able to handle most situations, but i see too many girls here in town that are hardly able to handle such situations in a mature way. Maybe you call this 'complex', many Europeans tend to call this 'childish'. |
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Rais
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June 30, 2008 - 12:31 PM |
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In summary, western women tend to have a list, they get it from the TV and general social conditioning.
The result: while in early twenties, 20% of the guys sleep with 80% of the women. While they progress towards the "age to get married" they tend to compromise some on the list, while there's the eventual group that sticks with it well beyond their 30s. The End. |
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Shanghai7136
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Joined: Nov 26, 2003
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June 30, 2008 - 03:56 PM |
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| Post subject: Re: Do western ladies consider money when they select BF/Hus |
| ichbinani wrote: |
I haver read a lot the discussion about Chinese girls.
Can you please share some information with a Chinese about the western world ?
My question is :
Do western women consider the financial status of the guy when they choose BF/husabnd?
If yes, generally what are their requirment?
If no, what will they consider? |
"No, because I can make my own money, and lots of it."
That's what the usual Western girl thinks, at least the ones I know who have good jobs and are confidant in their careers. There's a quote for you. |
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ichbinani
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June 30, 2008 - 05:04 PM |
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| Post subject: Re: Do western ladies consider money when they select BF/Hus |
| Shanghai7136 wrote: |
| ichbinani wrote: |
I haver read a lot the discussion about Chinese girls.
Can you please share some information with a Chinese about the western world ?
My question is :
Do western women consider the financial status of the guy when they choose BF/husabnd?
If yes, generally what are their requirment?
If no, what will they consider? |
"No, because I can make my own money, and lots of it."
That's what the usual Western girl thinks, at least the ones I know who have good jobs and are confidant in their careers. There's a quote for you. |
please refer to the post ahead, i have expended my defination of money. Now it includes money, ambition, promising future, greedy, ... apetite... sex driver...  |
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ichbinani
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June 30, 2008 - 05:17 PM |
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| Post subject: Re: Do western ladies consider money when they select BF/Hus |
| Shanghai7136 wrote: |
| ichbinani wrote: |
I haver read a lot the discussion about Chinese girls.
Can you please share some information with a Chinese about the western world ?
My question is :
Do western women consider the financial status of the guy when they choose BF/husabnd?
If yes, generally what are their requirment?
If no, what will they consider? |
"No, because I can make my own money, and lots of it."
That's what the usual Western girl thinks, at least the ones I know who have good jobs and are confidant in their careers. There's a quote for you. |
Let us ask the question again in this way.
So a western girl doesn't intend to marry a rich guy, so it is ok if they have a decent job and salary and marry a... beggar ... ( who is smart, has a noble soul, but just like such a poor life...)
please check my question again. My question is not whether western women are gold digger. my question is whether they will consider it or refer to it . |
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Shanghai7136
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June 30, 2008 - 06:11 PM |
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I'm answering your question as you initially asked it. Maybe next time you should think longer about your question before posting it.
Besides, it just sounds like you're trying to find reasons to justify "gold-digging Chinese girls." |
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italian-in-SH
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June 30, 2008 - 07:07 PM |
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| tigerduck wrote: |
| italian-in-SH wrote: |
| ichbinani wrote: |
Frankly speaking, personally I don't have too much interest on guys younger than 36- not deep/mature/complex enough. |
But if you are staying with a PhD student, I suppose he is younger than 36. So, how do you explain this contradiction? |
Since it's a German PhD student it's quite possible that he is around 36 |
Oh I see, I did not know German PhDs are that old on average. |
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italian-in-SH
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June 30, 2008 - 07:36 PM |
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| Post subject: Re: Do western ladies consider money when they select BF/Hus |
| ichbinani wrote: |
| Shanghai7136 wrote: |
| ichbinani wrote: |
I haver read a lot the discussion about Chinese girls.
Can you please share some information with a Chinese about the western world ?
My question is :
Do western women consider the financial status of the guy when they choose BF/husabnd?
If yes, generally what are their requirment?
If no, what will they consider? |
"No, because I can make my own money, and lots of it."
That's what the usual Western girl thinks, at least the ones I know who have good jobs and are confidant in their careers. There's a quote for you. |
Let us ask the question again in this way.
So a western girl doesn't intend to marry a rich guy, so it is ok if they have a decent job and salary and marry a... beggar ... ( who is smart, has a noble soul, but just like such a poor life...)
please check my question again. My question is not whether western women are gold digger. my question is whether they will consider it or refer to it . |
Ichibai, I think you have misunderstood. Shanghai 7136 just hinted at the possibility that, since Western women have emancipated earlier than their Chinese counterparts and have achieved successful careers, money (broadly defined)) may not be on the top of their list when choosing a partner. However, that does not mean that Western women would go for a beggar with no prospects (as you suggest). You should not oversimplify the complexity of this issue by polarizing it. According to my experience living in Europe and China, I agree with Shanghai 7136's view and would also propose an explanation based on different socio-economic levels between Western and Chinese women. |
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860115huang
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Joined: Mar 10, 2008
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July 01, 2008 - 10:34 AM |
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Actually, most of you guys don't know Chinese girls much. yes, that's right that Chinese girls express that they want to get married with a rich guy. Thus, those are just thoughts. When they eventually make a decision whether she will marry a guy, the guy's personality, interests, education background, etc are taken into consider more. The money is not important any more. So don't always think Chinese girls are material. This is not the fact. |
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Shanghai7136
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July 01, 2008 - 10:54 AM |
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| 860115huang wrote: |
| Actually, most of you guys don't know Chinese girls much. yes, that's right that Chinese girls express that they want to get married with a rich guy. Thus, those are just thoughts. When they eventually make a decision whether she will marry a guy, the guy's personality, interests, education background, etc are taken into consider more. The money is not important any more. So don't always think Chinese girls are material. This is not the fact. |
The fact is how they express themselves, and they express themselves by showing signs that most are golddiggers.
Don't blame for foreigners for thinking that they're golddggers if thats how they act. Maybe only 80% of them are golddiggers that are giving the other 30% a bad image and stereotype. Then you should go talk to your "sisters" about changing their outlook on money and marriage, and not blame foreigners for thinking what they do since it's what's displayed. |
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860115huang
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July 01, 2008 - 11:26 AM |
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Shanghai7136....
May I ask you a question? Whether you has ever met this type Chinese girl? Do you have your personal experience? If not, you can never say that. What impression you have on Chinese girls in your brain just comes from what you heard and other ways. People should express your views accord to your eyes. Not just follow others' feet. |
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Last edited by 860115huang on July 01, 2008 - 12:47 PM; edited 1 time in total |
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njd
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July 01, 2008 - 12:46 PM |
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Whereas I do know Chinese women that do not care about money, I also know those that make it their number 1 priority in marriage. In fact, one young white fellow I met here is dating a Chinese lady seriously. She won't marry him simply because he does not own a home or have a car in China. His company pays his rent, driver, and car so there is no need for the purchase unless he wanted to purchase an apartment as an investment.
I also know many Chinese ladies who fit the first description that are open, honest, and quite frankly disgusted by the amount of Chinese women who marry for only money. Remember these are the words of other Chinese women!
Most importantly, no one in this forum was degrading Chinese women. This was a simple discussion about why money is not a big priority to western women choosing a partner and why it typically is for Chinese women. |
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ichbinani
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July 01, 2008 - 01:47 PM |
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| Shanghai7136 wrote: |
I'm answering your question as you initially asked it. Maybe next time you should think longer about your question before posting it.
Besides, it just sounds like you're trying to find reasons to justify "gold-digging Chinese girls." |
Well, no , i don't want to justify those girls.
There are lots of discussions on that topic. I do feel tired of discussing Chinese women.
I just want to know western women... since i am curious.
Can I ? |
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ichbinani
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July 01, 2008 - 02:13 PM |
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After reading the posts, I suddenly feel so sad. I hope people from other culture can understand us and we can take the pionts of others' thoughts. But i found it is so hard, so painful. Sometimes it is almost impossible for others to understand your culture and when you see they take your value to bad intend because of misunderstanding but you can't do anything to it, it is so frustrated.
I remembered what one of my friends said to me " The socalled Intercultural communication is sometimes a disaster!" Never feel so true as now... |
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Michael
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July 01, 2008 - 02:40 PM |
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On short, I would say, that if considering marriage, it is one factor a western woman would take into consideration. I would hope they would. I don't think that most western women necessarily look for someone rich, but someone who can be responsible for their own living - and money is a part of that. |
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edgyinchina
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July 01, 2008 - 02:41 PM |
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This discussion is funny...
Born and raised in the US, my first marriage was based on the fact that I had made some money in the stock market.... and she divorced me (several years later) when I hit really down market.....Lived in Chicago.....
My second marriage was to a girl who saw me as a 'step up' from her previous beau (money and prestige wise), and ended when my company went out of business and I had to declare bankruptcy.....Lived in Dallas....
No marriages while I lived in California, but I had a girlfriend who latched onto me, because I was part of the internet boom times, and dumped me after the crash of 2001-2002......
Now live in China. Married a Chinese woman (not a girl).... I never told her I had any money... in fact, I am still hiding this from her....She thinks I'm poor, but loves me to death......
So how does this figure into your hypothesis ? ?
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? |
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TheDudeAbides
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July 01, 2008 - 02:44 PM |
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| ichbinani wrote: |
After reading the posts, I suddenly feel so sad. I hope people from other culture can understand us and we can take the pionts of others' thoughts. But i found it is so hard, so painful. Sometimes it is almost impossible for others to understand your culture and when you see they take your value to bad intend because of misunderstanding but you can't do anything to it, it is so frustrated.
I remembered what one of my friends said to me " The socalled Intercultural communication is sometimes a disaster!" Never feel so true as now... |
I think a lot of foreigners who have lived here a while understand Chinese culture quite well, and understand it more than Chinese are willing to give them credit for. I also think in certain situations foreigners, with a kind of third-person perspective, understand certain things in Chinese culture maybe even a bit better than what Chinese do, at least in that they can see it from different angles as opposed to just the one. In the same way that you get new expats acting like they know everything about the place, you also get a lot of Chinese instantly dismissive acting like foreigners know nothing about the place because the supposed complexity of the culture just goes way over their head. Not always entirely a fair call imo.
That's a general statement Ichbinani, not necessarily referring to anything in this thread, but perhaps certainly some of it. |
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underh20
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July 01, 2008 - 07:49 PM |
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| edgyinchina wrote: |
This discussion is funny...
Born and raised in the US, my first marriage was based on the fact that I had made some money in the stock market.... and she divorced me (several years later) when I hit really down market.....Lived in Chicago.....
My second marriage was to a girl who saw me as a 'step up' from her previous beau (money and prestige wise), and ended when my company went out of business and I had to declare bankruptcy.....Lived in Dallas....
No marriages while I lived in California, but I had a girlfriend who latched onto me, because I was part of the internet boom times, and dumped me after the crash of 2001-2002......
Now live in China. Married a Chinese woman (not a girl).... I never told her I had any money... in fact, I am still hiding this from her....She thinks I'm poor, but loves me to death......
So how does this figure into your hypothesis ? ? |
1. In China poor is relative; and
2. A passport is second best to $$; and
3. If she's near 30+, a broke expat from Hell is better than nothing. |
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italian-in-SH
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July 01, 2008 - 08:07 PM |
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| underh20 wrote: |
| edgyinchina wrote: |
This discussion is funny...
Born and raised in the US, my first marriage was based on the fact that I had made some money in the stock market.... and she divorced me (several years later) when I hit really down market.....Lived in Chicago.....
My second marriage was to a girl who saw me as a 'step up' from her previous beau (money and prestige wise), and ended when my company went out of business and I had to declare bankruptcy.....Lived in Dallas....
No marriages while I lived in California, but I had a girlfriend who latched onto me, because I was part of the internet boom times, and dumped me after the crash of 2001-2002......
Now live in China. Married a Chinese woman (not a girl).... I never told her I had any money... in fact, I am still hiding this from her....She thinks I'm poor, but loves me to death......
So how does this figure into your hypothesis ? ? |
1. In China poor is relative; and
2. A passport is second best to $$; and
3. If she's near 30+, a broke expat from Hell is better than nothing. |
Agree. Totally. |
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miss_iggins
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July 04, 2008 - 08:58 PM |
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miss_iggins
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July 04, 2008 - 09:00 PM |
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by the way why is it most of the foreign guys i see on Shanghai have asian girlfriends/wife?
Many American friends of mine are looking for a Chinese or Thai wife they said I dont like American girls they just always think about money and career  |
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GirlatWork
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July 05, 2008 - 12:40 PM |
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I read in the newspaper that a survey in the UK shows that annual income above 30k pounds is one of the criteria for the UK women when they are looking for a husband. So there.
And James is the name that most of UK women want to marry... |
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