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KalanStar
Reacher
Joined: Oct 06, 2009
Posts: 241
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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  Posted:
Oct 27, 2009 - 08:38 AM |
 
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| Post subject: Agreeable Chinese women... hard to get to know! |
I've been hanging out with or dating a few Chinese girls. (I call it hanging out, but I think they call it dating.) The ambiguity of our encounters is only the tip of the iceberg. Whenever I mention something they agree. For example, if I say I like going to clubs and dancing, they say they like doing that too. But if I ask them where a good place to go is, or what local DJ do they like etc., I get a blank stare. Or if I say I like reading, they say they like reading too, but again, if I ask them what book they are currently reading, I get the blank stare. So sometimes I ask them what they like to do first and maybe no dancing or reading is mentioned, but when I tell them my habit of doing those things, suddenly they do/like them too.
I know they are trying to please me in their Chinese way, but I'm always left wondering: "Do I really have anything in common with this girl?"
From these experiences, I can see why Chinese women might be easy to take to bed. If I said: "I like f*cking.", probably they'd respond: "I like f*cking too."  But that's not what I'm after. I want to get to know them and then we can do the other stuff. The last thing I want is some girl who seems to like everything I do until we are actually f*cking, and then she turns into a totally different person!
Do Chinese women know that some foreign men like their girlfriend to have their own opinions and life? I've been out with Chinese girls who just sit there, want to listen to me talk, and when I ask them a question, they turn red and just say: "You're so handsome!" Although that is good to hear every now and then, I'd rather hear their own thoughts.
So how can a foreigner get a honest answer about easy things like habits and hobbies? |
Last edited by KalanStar on Oct 28, 2009 - 12:16 PM; edited 2 times in total |
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BeiDong
Raver
Joined: June 09, 2009
Posts: 480
Status: Offline
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Oct 27, 2009 - 09:33 AM |
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The problem I've encountered is that most really don't have hobbies, lives, or ideas of their own. Depends on how old they are. Many are very akin to 15-year old girls with MySpace's, listing the most universal of activities as what they're all about: "movies," "hanging out with friends," "music," "travel."
And depending on how you get to know them, immediately disregard them if they spell like a 15-year old when telling you that they "rly lik 2 playing sportz."
You could stick it out and try to change them and see if there's something hidden once you peel the onion (and clothes), something worthwhile beneath the placating exterior layer. Perhaps other impatient guys wouldn't be able to find that out, and you will. But from my experience, don't bother. |
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franceswang
Reacher
Joined: Feb 13, 2009
Posts: 253
Location: shanghai
Status: Offline
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Oct 27, 2009 - 10:39 AM |
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IT's becoz you always pick up the wrong person.
I dont know how old u r but if i were u i wouldnt go after Chinese gals under 28 becoz the ugly truth is these young Chinese gals really have no idea of their lives. I was totally surprised when a 21-year-old gal told me the other day that her purpose is to marry a rich man who can spoil her for all her life. The point is she is NOT a gold digger, she is not that shallow, and she is actually a nice gal from a normal family. I couldnt help but wondering am I staying at home too long to catch up with the trends - being pretty and marrying a rich guy? what's wrong with our young gals?
Most young Chinese dont read that much, thats one of the reasons that ereaders dont come to China.
But sure, they are pretty and they know how to look adorable. Ultimately, this is where they've spent all their time on. |
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no easy life |
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KalanStar
Reacher
Joined: Oct 06, 2009
Posts: 241
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Oct 27, 2009 - 11:11 AM |
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I'm 32, 6'2" 160 lbs, and damn good looking The girls I am hanging out with are usually 30 - 35. It's just too easy to get the young ones. The last girl I had a "relationship" with was a 21 year old Korean, and although it was fun  I felt intelectually under stimulated.
I'm taking my time now and looking to avoid young princess airheads and manipulative "oh my god, I gotta get married" women 30+.
For me, personality is the most important part of attraction, but even when I find the right personality type, I can't get through the "agreeing with everything I say" stage. I don't know if they are just being "Chinese", ie. trying to please me by giving the answers they think I want to hear or are they just uninspired and boring??? Should I be direct and say somthing like "Don't tell me what you think I want to hear. Tell me the truth!"???? |
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bloomark
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 28, 2008
Posts: 2639
Location: Reality
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Oct 27, 2009 - 11:13 AM |
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They know how to look more adorable, with tons of makeups. They got too much bitch with their men to know anything about mature feminism and they assume it is a matter of course to manipulate their men for the entire life in order to secure their own position and status in front of their men.
Standards imposed on men by Shanghainese women? Jesus Christ, only Shanghainese guys or those mercenery provincial guys can meaure up to it.
As a lot of Shanghainese girls hit on me and smile at me, I just turn my back to them or place my eyes over them. No, I think it will be a prime regret for me to spend my time with Shanghainese women. |
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Never expect accountable tips from a bitter rumrunner. |
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franceswang
Reacher
Joined: Feb 13, 2009
Posts: 253
Location: shanghai
Status: Offline
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Oct 27, 2009 - 11:56 AM |
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| KalanStar wrote: |
For me, personality is the most important part of attraction, but even when I find the right personality type, I can't get through the "agreeing with everything I say" stage. I don't know if they are just being "Chinese", ie. trying to please me by giving the answers they think I want to hear or are they just uninspired and boring??? Should I be direct and say somthing like "Don't tell me what you think I want to hear. Tell me the truth!"???? |
probably they dont understand u, or the language barrier doesn't allow them to express themselves easily, so "yes" is the best answer. While i was in thailand last year, i told the front counter gal that I needed a dryer, and she smiled at me and said yes. my ex bf instantly told me i wouldnt get the dryer becoz she doesnt understand me. he said they all say yes if they dont understand. it turned out, he is right and i didnt get the dryer. |
_________________
no easy life |
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franceswang
Reacher
Joined: Feb 13, 2009
Posts: 253
Location: shanghai
Status: Offline
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Oct 27, 2009 - 11:57 AM |
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| bloomark wrote: |
| No, I think it will be a prime regret for me to spend my time with Shanghainese women. |
He didnt specifically say Shanghainese women, and you shldnt either. |
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no easy life |
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nrgfink
Reacher
Joined: July 20, 2009
Posts: 312
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Oct 27, 2009 - 05:29 PM |
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cantcheckemailnopw
SuperStar
Joined: Dec 27, 2006
Posts: 1481
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Oct 27, 2009 - 05:33 PM |
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Let me tell you a story about a young bull and an old bull sitting on top of a hill. The young bull says to the older "Lets run down there and **** one of them cows." The old bull says "Lets walk down there and **** them all." |
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BeiDong
Raver
Joined: June 09, 2009
Posts: 480
Status: Offline
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Oct 27, 2009 - 05:40 PM |
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Yeah, old guys do love fucking fat chicks. True story. |
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GoingMad
Reacher
Joined: Mar 27, 2008
Posts: 283
Location: crossing the street
Status: Offline
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Oct 27, 2009 - 08:07 PM |
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i told one chinese girl that i like to ****, and she told me she does too. and she really does. so this one is being true to herself, and she is 27. |
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lilyling
Barker
Joined: Sep 02, 2009
Posts: 171
Status: Offline
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Oct 27, 2009 - 09:25 PM |
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Men r such demanding creasure...and they even spend time talking **** like this justlike a bunch of chicks. |
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bloomark
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 28, 2008
Posts: 2639
Location: Reality
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Oct 27, 2009 - 09:45 PM |
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Because men are from Mars whereas women are from Venus.
Completely different patterns of thought and different understanding habits. |
_________________
Never expect accountable tips from a bitter rumrunner. |
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condesa
Barker
Joined: Aug 02, 2009
Posts: 160
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Oct 27, 2009 - 11:28 PM |
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| Post subject: Re: Agreeable Chinese women... hard to get to know! |
| KalanStar wrote: |
I've been hanging out or dating a few Chinese girls. (I call it hanging out, but I think they call it dating.) The ambiguity of our encounters is only the tip of the iceberg. Whenever I mention something they agree. For example, if I say I like going to clubs and dancing, they say they like doing that too. But if I ask them where a good place to go is, or what local DJ do they like etc., I get a blank stare. Or if I say I like reading, they say they like reading too, but again, if I ask them what book they are currently reading, I get the blank stare. So sometimes I ask them what they like to do first and maybe no dancing or reading is mentioned, but when I tell them my habit of doing those things, suddenly they do/like them too.
I know they are trying to please me in their Chinese way, but I'm always left wondering: "Do I really have anything in common with this girl?"
From these experiences, I can see why Chinese women might be easy to take to bed. If I said: "I like f*cking.", probably they'd respond: "I like f*cking too." But that's not what I'm after. I want to get to know them and then we can do the other stuff. The last thing I want is some girl who seems to like everything I do until we are actually f*cking, and then she turns into a totally different person!
Do Chinese women know that some foreign men like their girlfriend to have their own opinions and life? I've been out with Chinese girls who just sit there, want to listen to me talk, and when I ask them a question, they turn red and just say: "You're so handsome!" Although that is good to hear every now and then, I'd rather her their own thoughts.
So how can a foreigner get a honest answer about easy things like habits and hobbies? |
Mate,
this is a NON-democratic country (so thinking too much may be 'unhealthy', so you can't expect people here to be like back home in terms of personality - let's face it this people have been under somebody shoes for many generations  ) and in many ways culturally speaking they are still in the 50's (at least in terms of women role in the society). I think if you date professional girls that have studied overseas it is more likely that they have a little bit more personality because they have seen the 'light', the other ones can be great 'geisha wives' (that so many expats like) but I wouldn't expect much more.
In addition if you are in your 30's and you are dating 18 year old girls, let's face it you don't have much in common with them, it is a 'generational' problem (meaning you are too f*cking old for them) on top of cultural differences |
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KalanStar
Reacher
Joined: Oct 06, 2009
Posts: 241
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
Oct 28, 2009 - 12:33 AM |
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| Post subject: Re: Agreeable Chinese women... hard to get to know! |
| condesa wrote: |
Mate,
this is a NON-democratic country (so thinking too much may be 'unhealthy', so you can't expect people here to be like back home in terms of personality - let's face it this people have been under somebody shoes for many generations ) and in many ways culturally speaking they are still in the 50's (at least in terms of women role in the society). I think if you date professional girls that have studied overseas it is more likely that they have a little bit more personality because they have seen the 'light', the other ones can be great 'geisha wives' (that so many expats like) but I wouldn't expect much more.
In addition if you are in your 30's and you are dating 18 year old girls, let's face it you don't have much in common with them, it is a 'generational' problem (meaning you are too f*cking old for them) on top of cultural differences |
What forum have you been reading cause I think you musta posted to the wrong one or ya didn't read my posts!
I don't think "democracy" in the western sense has much to do with how girls think here. Why would it? (BTW the gov. here has a higher approval rating than any western "democracy". 67% to be exact. "The Economist")
I wonder, have you ever been to Japan?? That's where geishas come from. And in my view, women in China are far more equal and self reliant than the Japanese. The first law of new China was for equality of the sexes after all.
And I'm not dating 18 year old girls. Whatever gave you that impression???
Perhaps you should stop smoking crack or sniffing glue or whatever it is that you do to create the unreality you inhabit. |
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Andreas
Shanghai Royalty
Joined: Feb 27, 2004
Posts: 9140
Location: s/v Waratah
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Oct 28, 2009 - 02:18 AM |
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Hitler had an approval rating of more than 90%, and we all know how that ended. |
_________________
How do you make a small fortune? Start with a big fortune, and buy a boat. |
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Marakanis
Fire-eater
Joined: Jan 11, 2009
Posts: 2948
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Oct 28, 2009 - 04:10 AM |
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Yeah... approval polls in a country that brainwashes their people... And they only got 60%?
It must be pretty damn bad.
Anyways, any guy under 30, yes, f*** any girl that blinks in your direction.
Kalan, the girls you're banging probably don't know how to express themselves properly, and if they did, you'd be disappointed by their taste. Want to know what music they like? Just look at the Chinese popchart and pick anything on the top 10. Want to know what they're reading? Just go to the magazine stand...
If you want someone with a personality, you're looking in the wrong place. Just do what most guys do here and mold her into what you want. |
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franceswang
Reacher
Joined: Feb 13, 2009
Posts: 253
Location: shanghai
Status: Offline
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Oct 28, 2009 - 07:52 AM |
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| Marakanis wrote: |
| . Just do what most guys do here and mold her into what you want. |
it's called controlling. it's not good either. |
_________________
no easy life |
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ziccawei
Post Roaster
Joined: Sep 12, 2008
Posts: 4547
Location: Ziccawei
Status: Offline
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Oct 28, 2009 - 08:18 AM |
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I like to shopping also watching the tv. And I very like sleeping!!
Hee hee!!
Wish you happy every day!! |
_________________
Jackie Onnassis on acid. |
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ziccawei
Post Roaster
Joined: Sep 12, 2008
Posts: 4547
Location: Ziccawei
Status: Offline
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Oct 28, 2009 - 08:19 AM |
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Eating is also my other hobby.
Are you like Chinese food? |
_________________
Jackie Onnassis on acid. |
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KalanStar
Reacher
Joined: Oct 06, 2009
Posts: 241
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Oct 28, 2009 - 09:52 AM |
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| Marakanis wrote: |
Kalan, the girls you're banging probably don't know how to express themselves properly, and if they did, you'd be disappointed by their taste. Want to know what music they like? Just look at the Chinese popchart and pick anything on the top 10. Want to know what they're reading? Just go to the magazine stand...
If you want someone with a personality, you're looking in the wrong place. Just do what most guys do here and mold her into what you want. |
I'm not banging anyone. I'm trying to find the right one first. Thus, the OP. If I was banging every girl who's trying to get me these days, I'd have at least a dozen in the sack! And then a bunch of them would turn psycho and jealous..... I'd be living like jeffinflorida afraid to answer my door
I don't want to mold her into anything... I've had women try to do that to me and in the end, even though they claimed to love me, I had the feeling they didn't like me very much. Molding = manipulation, and that's ok if your intellectually under developed or full of yourself, but I passed though that stage in middle school.
I'm just trying to get to the heart of the woman. if anyone knows how to do that, please post  |
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zillahh
Barker
Joined: Jan 01, 2008
Posts: 198
Status: Offline
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Oct 28, 2009 - 10:38 AM |
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Hey buddy, you may very well be trying to put a western wrapper on an eastern candy.
Unwrapped they taste remarkably the same. Sounds like you need to keep digging into the bag until you find the right flavor. |
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nrgfink
Reacher
Joined: July 20, 2009
Posts: 312
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Oct 28, 2009 - 10:55 AM |
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| KalanStar wrote: |
| Marakanis wrote: |
Kalan, the girls you're banging probably don't know how to express themselves properly, and if they did, you'd be disappointed by their taste. Want to know what music they like? Just look at the Chinese popchart and pick anything on the top 10. Want to know what they're reading? Just go to the magazine stand...
If you want someone with a personality, you're looking in the wrong place. Just do what most guys do here and mold her into what you want. |
I'm not banging anyone. I'm trying to find the right one first. Thus, the OP. If I was banging every girl who's trying to get me these days, I'd have at least a dozen in the sack! And then a bunch of them would turn psycho and jealous..... I'd be living like jeffinflorida afraid to answer my door
I don't want to mold her into anything... I've had women try to do that to me and in the end, even though they claimed to love me, I had the feeling they didn't like me very much. Molding = manipulation, and that's ok if your intellectually under developed or full of yourself, but I passed though that stage in middle school.
I'm just trying to get to the heart of the woman. if anyone knows how to do that, please post |
No dice, all I've got from this thread is that I should take a different girl home every night from Muse -.-
Best of luck though~ I tried and failed miserably for a couple months, so if you figure anything out make sure to bump the post (assuming no one gives any decent advice besides "you haven't found it" and "my english no so very good"  ) |
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Raspberry77
Lurker
Joined: Oct 25, 2007
Posts: 29
Status: Offline
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Oct 28, 2009 - 11:32 AM |
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why Chinese woman?
it will be a long time before the white-foreigner-rush gone by. |
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bhbernstein
Reacher
Joined: July 28, 2009
Posts: 347
Status: Offline
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Oct 28, 2009 - 11:48 AM |
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Part of the problem is that most Chinese women (and men) have never been taught to think and express their own opinions. The education system / family system has mostly TOLD them what to do and say.
Find a Chinese girl who has spent time being educated in another country. She will then be able to express her own opinions and you will also have more in common with her. |
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