| Author |
Message |
baikailin
Squeeker
Joined: Apr 18, 2003
Posts: 19
Status: Offline
|
 Posted:
Jan 11, 2005 - 11:20 AM |
 
|
| Post subject: what is it with these vast over generalizations? |
There is a little grocery store that I have gone in every day or two for the past 3 months. I was sick for about a week. I walked in one day after being absent for four days (from the grocery store) and they all were giving me a ton of sympathy for being sick. They even gave me an extra carton of milk-- free (thats what I'm in there to buy all the time), so that I wouldn't have to come back until I was better.
Last year I made the stupid mistake of wearing uncomfortable shoes when I would be commuting from one corner of shanghai to the other. (I'm normally much more practical then fashionable, so my feet aren't used to this kind of torture.) Being the insane American I am, they got so sore, when I had to change lines in the People's Square, I took them off and walked in my stocking feet. When I got on the subway a Chinese girl asked me why I was carrying my shoes. I explained, and the guy sitting next to her got up instantly and told me to sit down.
We've got a strict (really strict) policy of no visitors (don't ask me why) in the building I live in. But when I come with loads of groceries from one of the big supermarkets, the guards always let one of my friends up to help me carry the stuff, no questions asked.
The other day I was waiting around for my favorite street vendor to show up and feed me some supper. Another street vendor that's around a lot and I've talked to once or twice got up and told me to sit down on his stool to wait.
Back when I first came to China, and I didn't have much confidence in my Chinese, I was standing looking at the bao zi I wanted to buy without the courage to ask for it. The seller took the time out from helping a crazy crowd of people to ask me what I wanted and proceded to teach me to say each food that they have.
Ok.... of course I have also had my share of people who don't know how to stand in a line, or witnessed other not-so-nice things going on, but come one, can't you remember the good things too? If you honestly don't have any of the good stories, get yourself out of the city center for a day or two. |
|
|
|
|
baikailin
Squeeker
Joined: Apr 18, 2003
Posts: 19
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Jan 11, 2005 - 11:28 AM |
|
|
Whoops I meant to post this as a reply to the thread "Sympathy/Empathy" but I wasn't loading pictures because my connection is so bad and screwed it up... sorry all. |
|
|
|
|
|
merdy
Rocker
Joined: Mar 10, 2004
Posts: 747
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Jan 11, 2005 - 01:26 PM |
|
|
What you should say is: if you don't have anything good to say then get the fvvckk off your lazy asses, get out of your little sissy expat bubbles and get to know some local people. I have had countless good experiences here....and I have been here for only 6 months...and I am not Chinese or ABC... |
|
|
|
|
cks69
Ranter
Joined: Aug 06, 2004
Posts: 562
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Jan 11, 2005 - 01:49 PM |
|
|
Yes, there are good experiences, you are right. Most of my co-workers are mainland Chinese and I've had some great experiences with them on business trips and around the office.
Alternatively, look at how chinese treat other chinese...
No offense, but do you think all those people would have been so nice to you if you had been Chinese or foreign born Chinese? I think not....
For me, much of my anger stems from the short-sightedness of Chinese mentality: do what is best for me NOW, HERE, f*** the future or the consequences: much of this stems from greed, pride, nationalism and arrogance (of course this exists all over the world as well). You can really see what effect this mentality has on the environment and your surroundings... |
|
|
|
|
|
merdy
Rocker
Joined: Mar 10, 2004
Posts: 747
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Jan 11, 2005 - 02:09 PM |
|
|
the most important part of your post is in (). And the obvious question becomes: if greed, pride....exists all over the world then why so many of you stick it to the Chinese. And it is not true that Chinese are not nice to Chinese. I work with nothing but Chinese people. And they are really amazing; Very kind and very considerate, not only towards me, but to eachother as well...The more I hear from all of you shortsighted, short tempered and close minded expats the more I realize that it all comes to the individual. Not the population. Not the whole country. But the individual people living in it. Your background, your culture, your language, your color, your sexual orientation, your gender, your age and your nationality have nothing to do with whether you are a cool person or a total assssshole... |
|
|
|
|
|
cks69
Ranter
Joined: Aug 06, 2004
Posts: 562
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Jan 11, 2005 - 02:36 PM |
|
|
you are correct. I guess they bear the brunt of our anger because, unfortunately, there are many experiences here that have a jading effect. Add them up, include the fact we live in China (and not somewhere else in the world) and there you go.
Great experiences are definitely possible with locals, and yes you do need to make an effort and try and get to know them, spend time with them.
I actually spend most of my time around locals or foreign born Chinese; I don't socialize much with expatriates, do not live in an expatriate community, do not frequent expatriate bars, have been in China on and off for over 6 years and speak mandarin fluently. Nonetheless, I get very exasperated, disappointed and frustrated with much of the behaviour i encounter on a daily basis on the street and in business. call it what you will...
But, you too should not generalize--not all expats are alike. Don't call the kettle black. |
|
|
|
|
|
merdy
Rocker
Joined: Mar 10, 2004
Posts: 747
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Jan 11, 2005 - 04:48 PM |
|
|
definately all expats are not close minded racists...very true...and may i just say that my violent posts are only directed to those who are. For example, when I say "sissy expats", I do not mean "all expats are sissies" but rather "only those who are sissies"...they know who they are...
most of what you described is exactly how your experience in China can be enhanced. I can safely bet that you are an exception for your fluency in mandarin. And all expats living here should aspire to learn this difficult language as well as possible. I am one of them of course (been here only close to 6 months though)...
you are making more sense to me in this last post than most of the assssswipes here did in a few months... |
|
|
|
|
|
Henry_Chinaski
Board Lord
Joined: Aug 16, 2003
Posts: 5025
|
| Posted:
Jan 11, 2005 - 05:13 PM |
|
|
Edgewood have you read that? Yes you have. And thanks for shutting the f*** up.
I copy you guys posts. The ordinary man is a brave. Kudos to them, not only in China but everywhere else. |
|
|
|
|
|
MikeStrong
Lurker
Joined: Nov 10, 2004
Posts: 24
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Jan 14, 2005 - 09:59 AM |
|
|
People are people are people, and Chinese people are people too.
One thing you grumbleing expat types might want to take into condideration is the concept of "Gwan Xi".
You should have this in your vocabulary by the time your Mandarin is at the advanced-beginner level,(and if you haven't bothered with learning the language of the country you're living in I'm wasting my time).
To review:
When you say "thank you" to someone you have a relationship with they will reply with something like, " Don't be polite" . The meaning is, "hey, we're friends, there is no need to stand on protocol and decorum".
When you say "thank you" to someone you don't have a relationship with they will reply with something like," Mei You Gwan Xi" or in other words,
"Yeah great, now step off to the side so I can help the next person who ISN'T standing in line".
If you have a Chinese friend you have the best friend in the world, - you could say that the two of you "have Gwan Xi". As for anyone else, you'll just have to take 'em as they come.
... now if we could only teach them how to drive!
strong |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
Forum FAQ
Search
Preferences
Watched Topics
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
