cantankerous critic part deux

Shanghai Expat Forum Index » Hot Topics Forums » About Food

Author

Message

bleucheese
Veejay
Veejay

Joined: Aug 01, 2003
Posts: 1980
Location: this side of the tracks

Posted: Jan 31, 2005 - 01:12 PM
Post subject: cantankerous critic part deux

Venue: Tan Wai Lou.
18 on the Bund: home to an art gallery, a tech expose, some upscale shops, Sens&Bund, Tan Wai Lou, Bar Rouge.

Arrived at 18 at 19:20. Still with me? Knowing that noone would be showing up until it was fashionably late, I decided to head up to the roof and have what would turn out to be the only decent part of my meal.
Elevator up to the 6th Floor.

Bar Rouge is spectacular. Especially in the pre-dinner hours....fairly empty, sedate yet tasteful decor with billowing floor to ceiling swaths of red cloth, low key moog mood tunes, nice ambient ambiance. Still with me?

Vodka tonic with lime. No mention of what TYPE of vodka....a fatcat place like this and youd expect at the very least some grey goose action. Headed out to the exposed rooftop deck. With the view of the Bund and Pudong such as it is, you can get away with Absolut sparse decor. Aside from the lawn furniture and exposed 2-by-4 flooring, the only aesthetic addition to this outdoor venue was a huge Chinese flag laying claim to the patio: I loved it. Nothing to distract you from that view.
30 minutes in an awestruck trance comtemplating my Shanghai existence. Pausing only for a quick refill.
A double to make the view a little more clear.
I couldve stayed up on that roof freezing my nads off all night long.

65 Yuan (x3); 10 yuan tip (x2)
TOTAL: 215 Yuan.

Marble staircase down to the fourth floor.
Tan Wai Lou:
Food: 'Modern' Chinese
Decor... I honestly cant give it too much criticism. We were placed in a private room relatively close to the entrance. Chinese music whispering faintly from a distance.
Wine:
1) Free flowing 1992 Great Wall Cabernet Sauvingon.
Decent. Drinkable.
(After several comments of suprise on the quality of the wine, I brought it to everyones attention that the grapes used in the vintage are almost assuredly NOT 1992 NOR Chinese. But thats a different scandal. Read the Tribune article if youre interested.)
2) Free flowing Great Wall Chardonnay. NV.
I had a sip. I went back to the red. I suggest you do the same if you are in similar circumstances.
3) Evian and Perrier.

Before the first course, I huddled the waiter, the servers, and the manager outside the banquet room and explained to them my dangerous allergy to nuts and my severe reaction to peanuts. They assured me I had nothing to worry about.

1st course: A selection of apps on one plate:

Smoked Salmon with dill sprig
100 year old egg
tofu wrapped sauteed shittake mushroom
slices of boiled pork
melon balls with some kind of red speckled crunchy glaze on a stick.

In that order:
Boring
Ugh..not again
Edible yet needed seasoning
fairly tasteless (did i get lucky?)
Had nuts in it

Ran to the bathroom and vomited. Came back to the table and graciously denied any problems and kept homocidal thoughts and fantasies of lawsuits at bay.

2nd course: Baby shrimp and chopped vegetables mixed some kind of mayo/creamy mess in a leaf of boston head lettuce.
As my tongue was swollen the size of a golf ball, I had festering sores on the insides of my cheek, and my eyes were pothead red, I decided to forego the course and drown out the histamines in cabernet.

3rd course: sharks fin soup.
Passable. Never understood the local fascination. Frankly, I dont see the culinary delight in an oddly orange colored sweet and sour cornstarch concoction with shreds of ambiguous seafood. But personal taste is....personal.

4th course: lemon chicken.
Too sour. (Tasted like it was finished with raw lemon juice and vinegar).
Too sweet. (Tasted like the chef thought it was too sour so he threw in extra sugar).
Too yellow. (Had this odd radioactive neon yellow glow to the whole thing).
Inedible.

5th course: White fish with foie gras.
Firm fleshed white fish, cooked properly, seasoned simply and adequately, with two pieces of overcooked foie gras perched atop. Obviously hot held under the lamps too long as the foie gras was pasty and brown throughout. But the fish was good.

6th course: Dim sum.
Two pieces: One seafood (shrimp based). One meat (pork based).
Nothing to complain about. Nothing to get excited about. Maybe thats a complaint.

7th course: Warm sweet heavily constarched unseasoned 'soup' with little chewy starch balls and undeterminable flecks served in a hollowed out papaya. Served with Rice wrapped in leaves on the side.
Tastes exactly how I described it.

8th course: Fruit platter.
Watermelon, dragon fruit, seedless ?clementines?, strawberries.
The clementines were good.

Service was excellent. Very attentive yet unobtrusive. Plates and silverware cleaned with efficiency.
Wine and water glasses were refilled instantly. These guys and gals certainly know how to drive that check up.

Total: I didnt pay. But I suspect it was absolutely outrageous.

I may have forgotten a few things. I had no notes. After writing this, I am proactively trying to forget the whole meal.

Verdict: Completely limp. Embarrasingly flaccid.
Ive had many wonderful local meals in this country. Unfortunately this wasnt one of them.

serend

FooJay

Joined: Aug 31, 2004
Posts: 1712

Status: Offline

Posted: Jan 31, 2005 - 06:14 PM

Sigh... with expat suckers (meaning the one who picked the place and foot the bill) willing to pay exorbitant price for junk like this...how do we expect the locals to improve?!

Lemon chicken in SH... OMG!

Bleucheese: you owe it to the expats' culinary integrity to rally the crowd and boycott the place. I am serious. And drop your friend who picked the place like a cold & congealed half-plate of sweet&Sour pork....