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commando
Board Royalty
Joined: July 07, 2004
Posts: 7117
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 Posted:
Mar 16, 2005 - 10:00 AM |
 
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does the words fox trot oscaR mean anything to you? |
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commando
Board Royalty
Joined: July 07, 2004
Posts: 7117
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Mar 16, 2005 - 10:00 AM |
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does the words fox trot oscar mean anything to you? |
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jamiejah
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 21, 2004
Posts: 3010
Status: Offline
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Mar 16, 2005 - 10:10 AM |
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yes takes me back to the good old days of ballroom dancing and that rivetting television show come dancing.Though i could not fox trot myself,i appreacated the grace,movement and to be damm honest with you,the physical endevour involved>though i was of the opinion that the oscars was afilm thing,Still i,m not one for medals actually,i thought they were all swiffingly fantastically faboulous.
How about mudock,mcneilland clark.
I am not going to belittle the achievements of the great Scots forefathers ... but they did have the motive and opportunity. After all, I'd be a great Scottish scientist if I had spent all my time indoors trying to escape the inclement weather Winking |
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commando
Board Royalty
Joined: July 07, 2004
Posts: 7117
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Mar 16, 2005 - 12:21 PM |
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Can just see a bunch of hairy a.ss Scotchman ballroom dancing, brought a tear too my eye. |
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GC
The Ginger Prince
Joined: Dec 01, 2003
Posts: 21536
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Mar 16, 2005 - 12:47 PM |
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a bit like morris dancing oh big tough english men |
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tinayang
Reacher
Joined: July 07, 2004
Posts: 200
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Mar 16, 2005 - 02:02 PM |
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"The noblest prospect which a Scotchman ever sees is the high-road that leads him to England"- Samuel Johnson |
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jamiejah
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 21, 2004
Posts: 3010
Status: Offline
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Mar 16, 2005 - 02:02 PM |
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well jase son ignorance is certainly bliss ,i shall never look at a hovercraft with so much distaste again
The first recorded design for a hovercraft was in 1716 put forward by Emmanual Swedenborg, a Swedish designer and philosopher. The project was short-lived and a craft was never built. Swedenborg realized that to operate such a machine required a source of energy far greater than any available at that time. In the mid-1870s, the British engineer Sir John Thornycroft built a number of model craft to check the air-cushion effects and even filed patents involving air-lubricated hulls, although the technology required to implement the concept did not yet exist. From this time both American and European engineers continued work on the problems of designing a practical craft. In the early 1950s the British inventor Christopher Cockerell began to experiment with such vehicles, and in 1955 he obtained a patent for a vehicle that was "neither an airplane, nor a boat, nor a wheeled land craft." He had a boat builder produce a two-foot prototype, which he demonstrated to the military in 1956 without arousing interest. Cockerell persevered, and in 1959 a commercially built one-person Hovercraft crossed the English Channel. In 1962 a British vehicle became the first to go into active service on a 19-mi (31-km) ferry run. |
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jamiejah
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 21, 2004
Posts: 3010
Status: Offline
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Mar 16, 2005 - 02:09 PM |
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and off course i shall insist on the pilot of klm to inform us about sir frank whittle,The one and only time i flew British airlines ,they also forgot to mention the great man,so here we are for the benifit of the ignoramuses amongst us,not encluding ,our English brothers off course
AIR CDRE SIR FRANK WHITTLE, who has died in America aged 89, was the greatest aero-engineer of the century
Whittle ensured that Britain was the first to enter the jet age when, on May 15 1941, the jet-propelled Gloster-Whittle E 28/39 flew successfully from Cranwell.
During 10 hours of flying over the next few days, the experimental aircraft - flown by the test pilot Gerry Sayer - achieved a top speed of 370 mph at 25,000 ft. This was faster than the Spitfire, or any other conventional propeller-driven machine.
Although this was a moment of triumph for Whittle, it was tinged with some bitterness, for he had had to overcome years of obstruction from the authorities, lack of funding for and faith in his brilliant ideas. He felt, with justification, that if he had been taken seriously earlier, Britain would have been able to develop jets before the Second World War broke out.
As early as October 1932 he had been granted a patent for the first turbo-jet engine, but the Air Ministry's indifference had caused a long delay in realising his ideas. Thus it gave Whittle particular satisfaction when, days after the E 28/39's maiden flight, Sir Archibald Sinclair, the Air Minister, and a gathering of officials, stood stunned as Sayer put it through its paces over Cranwell.
As John Golley noted in his biography (Airlife, 1987): "Whittle - who had been the first man to get a turbo-jet running - had thrust Britain forward into the Jet Age and stood the aviation industry on its head."
Whittle's engineering genius led to the creation of several other aircraft: the RAF's Gloster Meteor, which saw action during the latter stages of the Second World War; the de Havilland Comet, the world's first passenger jet, and Concorde.
Concorde's maiden flight in 1969 set the seal on Whittle's endeavours. He maintained that once his system of propulsion was available, no great invention was required for an aircraft to use it.
Frank Whittle was born on June 1 1907, in the Earlsdon district of Coventry, the son of a foreman in a machine tool factory.
When Frank was four his father, a skilful and inventive mechanic who spent Sundays at a drawing board, gave him a toy aeroplane with a clockwork propeller and suspended it from a gas mantle. During the First World War Frank's interest in aeroplanes increased when he saw aircraft being built at the local Standard works, and was excited when an aeroplane force-landed near his home.
In 1916 the family moved to Leamington Spa, where Frank's father had bought the Leamington Valve and Piston Ring Company, which comprised a few lathes and other tools, and a single-cylinder gas engine. Frank became familiar with machine tools and did piece work for his father.
Frank won a scholarship to Leamington College, but when his father's business faltered there was not enough money to keep him there. Instead he spent hours in the local library, learning about steam and gas turbines.
In January 1923, having passed the entrance examination, Whittle reported at RAF Halton as an aircraft apprentice. He lasted only two days; only five feet tall and with a small chest measurement, he failed the medical.
Six months later, after subjecting himself to an intense physical training programme supported by a special diet, he was rejected again. Undeterred, he applied using a different first name, passed the written examination again and was ordered to Cranwell where he was accepted.
In 1926, strongly recommended by his commanding officer, he passed a flying medical and was awarded one of five coveted cadetships at the RAF College. The cadetship meant that he would now train as a pilot. In his second term he went solo in an Avro 504N biplane after eight hours' instruction.
Whittle graduated to Bristol fighters and, after a temporary loss of confidence due to blacking out in a tight loop, developed into something of a daredevil. He was punished for hedge-hopping. But he shone in science subjects and in 1928 wrote a revolutionary thesis entitled Future Developments in Aircraft Design.
THE PAPER discussed the possibilities of rocket propulsion and of gas turbines driving propellers, although it stopped short of proposing the use of the gas turbine for jet propulsion. However, Whittle launched his quest for a power plant capable of providing high speed at very high altitude.
In the summer of 1928 he passed out second and received the Andy Fellowes Memorial Prize for Aeronautical Sciences. He was rated "Exceptional to Above Average" as a pilot on Siskin operational fighters - but red-inked into his logbook were warnings about over confidence, an inclination to perform to the gallery and low flying.
At the end of August 1928, Pilot Officer Whittle joined No 111, an operational fighter squadron equipped with Siskins and based at Hornchurch, and was then posted to the Central Flying School, Wittering, for a flying instructor's course. In his spare time he conceived a gas turbine to produce a propelling jet, rather than driving a propeller. A sympathetic instructor, Flying Officer Pat Johnson, who had been a patent agent in civilian life, arranged an interview with the commandant.
This resulted in an almost immediate call from the Air Ministry and an introduction to Dr A A Griffith at the ministry's South Kensington laboratory. Griffith was already interested in gas turbines for driving propellers, and scorned Whittle's proposals. The Air Ministry informed Whittle that successful development of his scheme was considered impracticable. Whittle nevertheless took out his jet patent, and qualified as a flying instructor.
Pat Johnson, still convinced by Whittle's ideas, set up a meeting at British Thomson-Houston, near Rugby, with the company's chief turbine engineer. While not questioning the validity of Whittle's invention, BTH baulked at the prospect of spending £60,000 on development.
At the end of 1930 Whittle was posted to test floatplanes at the Marine Aircraft Experimental Establishment at Felixstowe. On leave he publicised his jet engine proposal, unsuccessfully. Fortuitously, a friend from Cranwell days, Rolf Dudley-Williams, was based at Felixstowe with a flying-boat squadron, and his efforts on Whittle's behalf soon bore fruit.
In the summer of 1932 Whittle was sent on an engineering course at RAF Henlow. He did so well that, exceptionally in that period, he was permitted to take a two-year engineering course as a member of Peterhouse College, Cambridge, where in 1936 he took a First in the Mechanical Sciences Tripos.
While he was at Cambridge his jet engine patent lapsed; the Air Ministry refused to pay the £5 renewal fee. But in May that year he received an inquiry from Dudley-Williams, who was by then a partner with another former RAF pilot, named Tinling, in General Enterprises Ltd.
The two men undertook to cover the expenses of further patents, to raise money, and to act as Whittle's agents. In the New Year of 1936 an agreement was signed between Dudley-Williams and Tinling, Whittle, the president of the Air Council, and O T Falk & Partners, a firm of City bankers.
A company, Power Jets, was incorporated and Whittle received permission from the Air Ministry to serve as honorary chief engineer and technical consultant for five years, providing there was no conflict with his official duties.
It was as well, because in July, turbo-jet experiments began at Junkers and Heinkel in Germany; at this stage, Whittle's ideas were not subject to the Official Secrets Act. It was a relief when the He 178, after some promise, was scrapped.
Whittle, seeking somewhere to develop his design on modest Power Jets' capital, returned to BTH at Rugby and the company contracted to build a "WU" (Whittle Unit), his first experimental jet engine. At the same time he tried to persuade companies to develop the specialised materials he needed.
First attempts to run Whittle's jet at Rugby in April 1937 produced a series of alarming incidents as it raced out of control and BTH hands bolted for cover. Money was required for further development, but this was scarce, although an Air Ministry contract provided a paltry £1,900.
In 1938 BTH moved the test-bed to its Ladywood works at Lutterworth where, in September, the engine, reconstructed for the third time, was assembled. A further £6,000 of Air Ministry money was pledged and engine tests resumed in December.
WITH THE OUTBREAK of war in September 1939, the project got a further lease of life. The Air Ministry commissioned a more powerful W 2 from Power Jets, and asked the Gloster Aircraft Company for an experimental aeroplane, specified as E 28/39.
With finances more secure, Whittle faced a new threat. Relations with BTH, never easy, deteriorated as the company took the view that the jet engine would not compare favourably with conventional power plants. Whittle was further bedevilled by various strands of officialdom blowing hot and cold about Power Jets' future, and also the politics of possible participation by the Rover motor-car company.
In the event, the Government cut the ground from under Whittle's feet in early 1940, bypassing Power Jets and offering shared production and development contracts direct to BTH and Rover. Power Jets was demoted to the level of a research organisation.
Matters worsened when the Air Ministry, eager to obtain an operational jet fighter, side-stepped Whittle, ignoring the E 28/39 and authorising Glosters to press ahead with a twin-engined jet interceptor specified as F 9/40. This was to become the Meteor. Worse still, in 1941 the ministry's director of engine production was to agree to Rover alterations to Whittle's design behind his back.
But fortunately, on July 9, Lord Beaverbrook, Minister of Aircraft Production, personally assured Whittle that the jet fighter would go ahead.
Whittle was relieved by the reprieve, but agonised over the difficulties of, literally, getting his engine off the ground. He smoked and drank heavily, and the elbowing-out by BTH and Rover further depressed him.
But the events of April and May 1941, when he saw his E 28 test-bed aeroplane flying successfully at Cranwell, lifted his gloom. When Johnson, who had encouraged Whittle for so long, patted him on the back and said, "Frank, it flies," he replied, "Well, that was what it was bloody well designed to do, wasn't it?".
Details of Whittle's inventions were made available both in Britain and America. Rolls-Royce, de Havilland and Metropolitan-Vickers became involved.
In June 1942, Whittle was flown to Boston to help General Electric to overcome problems. They built the engine under licence in America with the astonishing result that Bell Aircraft's experimental Airacomet flew in the autumn of 1942, beating the Meteor into the skies by five months.
Returning home, Whittle arrived at Power Jets' new factory at Whetstone. While it was nothing like the size of the plants devoted to his jet in America, he was astonished by the factory's size after so many years of parsimony, although in practice it could not provide the capacity that would be needed.
Rolls-Royce stepped in and took over work on the W 2B engine, which in 1943 cleared the way for Whittle to plan further improvements which would evolve as later mark numbers. Then, with Rolls-Royce in almost total control of Power Jets, Whittle lost touch for three months while he attended the RAF Staff College.
Fearing in this period that private industry would harvest the pioneering discoveries of Power Jets for nothing, Whittle suggested that it should be nationalised.
By the time Whittle had come to regret this proposal, he was taken up on it by Sir Stafford Cripps, the Minister of Aircraft Production. Cripps imposed a price of £135,563.10s, and renamed the company Power Jets (Research & Development). Whittle received nothing, having earlier handed over his shares worth £47,000 to the ministry.
But six months later Whittle was promoted air commodore and had the satisfaction of knowing that Meteors of No 616 squadron were shooting down V 1 flying-bombs.
In 1946 Whittle accepted a post as Technical Adviser on Engine Production and Design (Air) to the Controller (Air) at the Ministry of Supply. He again became ill, during an American lecture tour, and in 1948 retired from the RAF on medical grounds. Shortly afterwards he was awarded an ex-gratia sum of £100,000 by the Royal Commission on Awards to Inventors, and he was knighted.
Whittle was appointed CBE in 1944, CB in 1947, and KBE in 1948. He was made a Commander, the US Legion of Merit, in 1946. In 1986 he was appointed a member of the Order of Merit. He was a Fellow of the Royal Society, and of the Royal Aeronautical Society.
Whittle settled in America in 1976, and was a member of the Faculty of the Naval Academy, Annapolis, Maryland.
He published Jet (1953), and Gas Turbine Aero-Thermodynamics (1981).
Frank Whittle married, in 1930, Dorothy Mary Lee; they had two sons. The marriage was dissolved in 1976 and that year he married Hazel Hall.
© THE DAILY TELEGRAPH |
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jamiejah
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 21, 2004
Posts: 3010
Status: Offline
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Mar 16, 2005 - 02:12 PM |
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and last but not least the fantastically named charles babbage,how can you possibly forget someone with such a name
The calculating engines of English mathematician Charles Babbage (1791-1871) are among the most celebrated icons in the prehistory of computing. Babbage’s Difference Engine No.1 was the first successful automatic calculator and remains one of the finest examples of precision engineering of the time. Babbage is sometimes referred to as "father of computing." The Charles Babbage Foundation took his name to honor his intellectual contributions and their relation to modern computers.
Biographical note
Charles Babbage was born in London on December 26, 1791, the son of Benjamin Babbage, a London banker. As a youth Babbage was his own instructor in algebra, of which he was passionately fond, and was well read in the continental mathematics of his day. Upon entering Trinity College, Cambridge, in 1811, he found himself far in advance of his tutors in mathematics. Babbage co-founded the Analytical Society for promoting continental mathematics and reforming the mathematics of Newton then taught at the university.
In his twenties Babbage worked as a mathematician, principally in the calculus of functions. He was elected a Fellow of the Royal Society in 1816 and played a prominent part in the foundation of the Astronomical Society (later Royal Astronomical Society) in 1820. It was about this time that Babbage first acquired the interest in calculating machinery that became his consuming passion for the remainder of his life.
In 1821 Babbage invented the Difference Engine to compile mathematical tables. On completing it in 1832, he conceived the idea of a better machine that could perform not just one mathematical task but any kind of calculation. This was the Analytical Engine (1856), which was intended as a general symbol manipulator, and had some of the characteristics of today’s computers.
Unfortunately, little remains of Babbage's prototype computing machines. Critical tolerances required by his machines exceeded the level of technology available at the time. And, though Babbage’s work was formally recognized by respected scientific institutions, the British government suspended funding for his Difference Engine in 1832, and after an agonizing waiting period, ended the project in 1842. There remain only fragments of Babbage's prototype Difference Engine, and though he devoted most of his time and large fortune towards construction of his Analytical Engine after 1856, he never succeeded in completing any of his several designs for it. George Scheutz, a Swedish printer, successfully constructed a machine based on the designs for Babbage's Difference Engine in 1854. This machine printed mathematical, astronomical and actuarial tables with unprecedented accuracy, and was used by the British and American governments. Though Babbage's work was continued by his son, Henry Prevost Babbage, after his death in 1871, the Analytical Engine was never successfully completed, and ran only a few "progams" with embarrassingly obvious errors.
Babbage occupied the Lucasian chair of mathematics at Cambridge from 1828 to 1839. He played an important role in the establishment of the Association for the Advancement of Science and the Statistical Society (later Royal Statistical Society). He also attempted to reform the scientific organizations of the period while calling upon government and society to give more money and prestige to scientific endeavor. Throughout his life Babbage worked in many intellectual fields typical of his day, and made contributions that would have assured his fame irrespective of the Difference and Analytical Engines.
Despite his many achievements, the failure to construct his calculating machines, and in particular the failure of the government to support his work, left Babbage in his declining years a disappointed and embittered man. He died at his home in London on October 18, 1871.
Construction of Difference Engine No. 2
In 1985, the Science Museum in London began construction of the Difference Engine No. 2 using Babbage's original designs. The calculating device was completed and working by 1991, just in time for the bicentennial of Babbage's birth. The device consists of 4000 parts and weighs over three metric tons. http://www.sciencemuseum.org.uk/galleryguide/E2052.asp
The printer for the Difference Engine No. 2 was completed nine years later, in 2000. It has 4000 parts and weighs 2.5 metric tons. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/710950.stm
Charles Babbage’s published works include:
* A Comparative View of the Various Institutions for the Assurance of Lives (1826)
* Table of Logarithms of the Natural Numbers from 1 to 108, 000 (1827)
* Reflections on the Decline of Science in England (1830)
* On the Economy of Machinery and Manufactures (1832)
* Ninth Bridgewater Treatise (1837)
* Passages from the Life of a Philosopher (1864)
How to find more information about Charles Babbage
Manuscript materials and exhibits: |
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jamiejah
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 21, 2004
Posts: 3010
Status: Offline
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Mar 16, 2005 - 02:14 PM |
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so there you have it,I,m sure the world is a better and safer place for knowing this,thank ever so much,i havnae got a scooby what begbie will make o all this muck |
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commando
Board Royalty
Joined: July 07, 2004
Posts: 7117
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Mar 16, 2005 - 02:47 PM |
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There was an English man, Scotchman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a Carriage in a Train going through wales. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriage and the train went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the English man were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Scotsman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped.
The Scctsman was thinking: 'the English fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instaed.'
Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The scotsman must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman instead and got slapped for it.'
The Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make that kissing noise again and slap that Scotch bastard again |
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findus
Veejay
Joined: Feb 03, 2004
Posts: 1843
Status: Offline
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Mar 16, 2005 - 03:06 PM |
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What a fantastic thread.
Give up Jamie, better to laugh and point behind their backs for really really really not having any fecking notion of self-knowldege of their own country and why they are generally disliked 'as a nation' by not only Scottish, but also the Welsh, Irish, French, German, Dutch, ............
It doesn't really annoy me any more as they are at a bigger loss for not realising. 
BTW, the Lisbon Lions were actually pretty pish, the Arabs circa 1983 wouldv'e trounced them.  |
_________________
| wwzcsd wrote: |
| We have NO racialism in China. Racialism was born in western.Your culture produced it.In Chinese Culture,we dont discriminate any race and nation. |
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jamiejah
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 21, 2004
Posts: 3010
Status: Offline
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Mar 16, 2005 - 05:00 PM |
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Yes, i hope everyone is enjoying this thread,i certainly am,
it has been an education.
I,m still not sure if our English counterparts have really got it,i suppose not.
Its a bit similiar to the posts written here about the Chinese ,in the sense that they don,t know any better, its all they know,its what they were brought up with.
Reading between the lines off course we ALL should have known the great achievements of their fellow man and if we didn,t we must be off a lower intelligence than the intelligencia.
I,m surrounded by these types in the capital,and i don,t mean London.
It certainly isn,t surprising ,when you hear the vomit ,bias that comes from the BBC and its media counterparts.
So again its not surprising,the sad thing is they haven,t worked it out,the dangerous part is some of these people are ,or are achieving to be in positions of power.
Contrary to what people think or don,t think i don,t hate the English ,like mark renton said they,re wankers,but now and again eejits l;ike nick -la and his superior attitude of ridicule and put down ,just touch a nerve ,ever so slightly.
nice one commando,i was going to call you that english name cyril,but thought twice about that,though even through an internet connection ,it,s easy to see that you are a decent bloke.
I certainly not saying that all Scots are the salt of the earth,Far from it,but all in all we behave ourselves and are welcoming,and don,t attempt to put people down in the first instant like the eejit.
Again please excuse my poor command of the english grammer and language.i do seem to be dyslexic ,like another famous scot,Jackie Stewart,something i have just realised myself in the past few years ,which mt teachers never,so myebe like my English counterparts i was also failed in a way.
Its perfectly fine to be proud ,but contempt should not be encouraged in any shape or form and should be challenged at all instances,on this i leave you on this little note
May the best ye hae ivver seen be the warst ye'll ivver see.
May the moose ne'er lea' yer girnal wi a tear-drap in its ee.
May ye aye keep hail an hertie till ye'r auld eneuch tae dee.
May ye aye juist be sae happie as A wuss ye aye tae be.
for the benefit of the English speakers amongst you who only speak the one tongue a translation shall follow
May the best you have ever seen be the worst you will ever see.
May the mouse never leave your grain store with a tear drop in its eye.
May you always stay hale and hearty until you are old enough to die.
May you still be as happy as I always wish you to be.
NUFF SAID |
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commando
Board Royalty
Joined: July 07, 2004
Posts: 7117
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Mar 16, 2005 - 05:14 PM |
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You still going on about this ****, you know we English must give you lot a few days to express yourself, and that is normally when the whiskey has run dry for you lot, but don't worry, i have it on good authority, whiskey is on its way now as we speak, so you can all go back into the shadows and dream of the days that once were and what might have been. |
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jamiejah
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 21, 2004
Posts: 3010
Status: Offline
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Mar 16, 2005 - 05:16 PM |
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TW, the Lisbon Lions were actually pretty pish, the Arabs circa 1983 wouldv'e trounced them. Laughing
Did i mention the LISBON LIONS I KNOW GC DID,
i did mention,ronnie SIMPSON,JIM GRAIG,TOMMY GEMMELL,BOBBY MURDOCK(RIP)BILLY MCNEILL,JIM CLARK
JIMMY JOHNSTONE(JINKYgets a whole line to himself)
WULLIE WALLACE
STEVE CHALMERS
BERTIE AULD
BOBBY LENNOX
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST THE IMMORTAL
JOCK STEIN(rip)
yeah they were some team the arabs,moving ahead Eamonn Bannon was only 2 years above me at school.
i,m no too sure which one of them inventedthe hoovercraft as there seems to be some doubt on another thread to who actually did,but jinki invented the word magic and entertainment |
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jamiejah
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 21, 2004
Posts: 3010
Status: Offline
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Mar 16, 2005 - 05:24 PM |
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your always welcome for a drink o the amber necter commando auld boy,i have a bottle o laguvulen siting to be enjoyed by good people
I drink to the health of another,
And the other I drink to is he -
In the hope that he drinks to another, And the other he drinks to is me! |
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jamiejah
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 21, 2004
Posts: 3010
Status: Offline
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Mar 16, 2005 - 05:36 PM |
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Oral sex is a great favorite with the Scotsman. He approaches his wife with a cheeky invitation, 'Howl ya like to put yer teeth roon this?'
The woman nods willingly and points suggestively to her falsies smiling happily in a bedside tumbler. 'Go on yersel,' she says, 'list dinnae disturb me.' |
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SirFiddler
Board Legend
Joined: Mar 30, 2004
Posts: 11445
Location: Very close to a bottle of chilled Boags
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Mar 16, 2005 - 05:41 PM |
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_________________
Beer...Soooo much more than just breakfast www.justbeer.cn |
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jamiejah
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 21, 2004
Posts: 3010
Status: Offline
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Mar 16, 2005 - 05:41 PM |
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Two English men are walking along O'Connell Street in Ireland when they see a sign in a shop window. Suits �15.00, shirts �2.00, trousers �2.50.
One said to the other one, "Look at that. We could buy a lot of that gear and resell it when we get back to England. We could make a fortune!
When we go into the shop don't say anything, let me do all the talking, cause if they hear our accent they might not serve us, so I'll speak in my best Irish accent."
They go in and he orders, 50 suits at �15.00, 100 shirts at �2.00 and 50 trousers at �2.50.
The owner of the shop asks, "You're English aren't you?"
The Englishman replies, "Oh bother... Yes, how the hell did you know that?"
The owner says, "This is a dry cleaners..." |
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SirFiddler
Board Legend
Joined: Mar 30, 2004
Posts: 11445
Location: Very close to a bottle of chilled Boags
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Mar 16, 2005 - 05:44 PM |
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mwuuuuuuuuuuuuahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
hahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaa |
_________________
Beer...Soooo much more than just breakfast www.justbeer.cn |
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findus
Veejay
Joined: Feb 03, 2004
Posts: 1843
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
Mar 16, 2005 - 05:48 PM |
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| jamiejah wrote: |
TW, the Lisbon Lions were actually pretty pish, the Arabs circa 1983 wouldv'e trounced them. Laughing
Did i mention the LISBON LIONS I KNOW GC DID,
i did mention,ronnie SIMPSON,JIM GRAIG,TOMMY GEMMELL,BOBBY MURDOCK(RIP)BILLY MCNEILL,JIM CLARK
JIMMY JOHNSTONE(JINKYgets a whole line to himself)
WULLIE WALLACE
STEVE CHALMERS
BERTIE AULD
BOBBY LENNOX
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST THE IMMORTAL
JOCK STEIN(rip)
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Who?
Anyway, here's to the best back 4 in Scottish League history: Hegarty, Narey, Malpas, Gough.  |
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| wwzcsd wrote: |
| We have NO racialism in China. Racialism was born in western.Your culture produced it.In Chinese Culture,we dont discriminate any race and nation. |
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jamiejah
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 21, 2004
Posts: 3010
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
Mar 16, 2005 - 06:02 PM |
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The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro-English (Euro for short). In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k.' Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'W' by 'V'. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru. |
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jamiejah
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 21, 2004
Posts: 3010
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
Mar 16, 2005 - 06:10 PM |
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Anyway, here's to the best back 4 in Scottish League history: Hegarty, Narey, Malpas, Gough. Cool
i think GUFF RHYMES RATHER NICELY WITH GOUGH
but agreed they were boring bastards ,almost,almost as boring as the aberdeen back 2 i forget the other 9 |
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jamiejah
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 21, 2004
Posts: 3010
Status: Offline
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Mar 16, 2005 - 07:56 PM |
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sad day in scotlands history sold for a couple of bob
Fareweel to a' our Scottish fame,
Fareweel our ancient glory;
Fareweel to e'en our Scottish name
Sae fam'd in sang and story.
Now Sark rins tae th' Solway sands,
An' Tweed runs t' th' ocean..
Tae mark whaur England's Province stands:
Sic a parcel of rogues in a nation! 2. What force or guile could not subdue
Thro' many warlike ages,
Is wrought now by a coward few
For hireling traitor's wages.
The English steel we could disdain,
Secure in valour's station.
But English gold has been our bane:
Sic a parcel of rogues in a nation!
3. Oh, would or had I seen the day
That treason thus could sell us!
My auld grey head had lien in clay,
Wi' Bruce and loyal Wallace!
But, pith and power, till my last hour,
I'll make this declaration:
We were bought and sold for English gold!
Sic a parcel of rogues in a nation! |
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commando
Board Royalty
Joined: July 07, 2004
Posts: 7117
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Mar 16, 2005 - 08:28 PM |
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A Scots boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a part in the school play. ''Wonderfull,'' says the mother, ''what part is it?'' The boy says ''Iplay the part of the Scottish husband!'' The mother scowls and says: ''Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part.'' |
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