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itv1980
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 05, 2004
Posts: 3355
Location: Revalidation centre
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  Posted:
Jan 08, 2006 - 03:16 AM |
 
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| Post subject: Question about dating |
Just wondering about your views:
Case scenario, your in the dating process and about at the 7th date and feel comfortable and really enjoy each presence and your actually going forward fine.
But then your love interest gets a real shock in its live and bad news caused by an injuries which will dramatically alter his/her world in any way (extreme injury or something like that).
Would you, stay with her/him to the end or just ran away as soon as possible because your just in the dating face and you don't own the person anything. What would you do?
- run away stay to the end of the week, middle, when brought to hospital doors or the end? |
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xay6pack
Raver
Joined: July 13, 2004
Posts: 420
Status: Offline
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Jan 08, 2006 - 09:10 AM |
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Tough question....I don't think many people can honestly say it until they are in the middle of it. |
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maodaman
Barker
Joined: Nov 30, 2005
Posts: 183
Location: maotown
Status: Offline
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Jan 08, 2006 - 10:54 AM |
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you 2 are not married, so I don't see any responsibility or obligation here. whatever you do is fine. |
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there is NO god |
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BONNIE
Veejay
Joined: June 17, 2005
Posts: 1892
Location: Amsterdam/Shanghai
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Jan 08, 2006 - 10:56 AM |
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Now you have to make up your mind how you feel about her/him.
If you like them a lot, you will stay and help where you can........even friends would do this. |
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Siberia.......Here I come ! |
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Rio
Post Boaster
Joined: Dec 04, 2004
Posts: 4724
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Jan 08, 2006 - 01:40 PM |
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It is a matter of if you care about him/her itv. Not a matter of if you are married or committed to each other. If you are human and you care about this person, just like any other person, you would do the right thing. |
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Lesi
SuperStar
Joined: July 03, 2005
Posts: 1362
Location: XujiaHui
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Jan 10, 2006 - 04:42 PM |
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hummm.... If you have dated and if you shared something, doesnt matter if you are really in love or not, but still as a human you have to give a hand to others. I mean, I have been in that situation before, my ex(thats why he is ex) told me that he is scared of my health problem and chooses to stay apart(what a coward!). It really made me think if his heart is big enough... |
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Spiro, spero |
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keayts
Ranter
Joined: Oct 27, 2005
Posts: 548
Status: Offline
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Jan 10, 2006 - 07:08 PM |
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Well, of course I'd try to help her out! Still, I'd figure out if I would want to stay committed to her or not, since if I truly didn't and did so out of pity that would be patronizing as hell, and I don't play by those rules. Even if I decided to call it off, I wouldn't just abandon her without an explanation, and certainly wouldn't want to walk out of her life completely when she was in such a time of crisis. |
_________________
"A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people's business." - Eric Hoffer, "The True Believer: Thoughts on the Nature of Mass Movements" |
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Magnolia
Board Biatch
Joined: June 01, 2004
Posts: 31071
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Jan 11, 2006 - 11:31 AM |
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all depends on what you want to to, how things were going, where you think they may go, etc. can't determine until the situation hits, as mentioned above.
abandonment may seem like an added blow when the other person is down. |
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BOYCOTT BENSON SALON |
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itv1980
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 05, 2004
Posts: 3355
Location: Revalidation centre
Status: Offline
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Jan 11, 2006 - 08:02 PM |
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abandonment may seem like an added blow when the other person is down.
Agree, would as well lend a hand and for sure stay friends and never abandon someone |
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gman
Rocker
Joined: May 12, 2005
Posts: 647
Location: Chicago Illinois
Status: Offline
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Jan 11, 2006 - 08:50 PM |
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i believe that i would stay to help the person out.
that would be to at least help them through to getting back on their feet.
i can tell you its not easy even with a minor injury and the minor surgery.
even help in the little things in life matters and counts for a lot when one is physically impaired.
btw, GREAT ? itv. |
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MichaelT
Raver
Joined: Mar 15, 2005
Posts: 410
Location: Silicon Valley - > Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Jan 13, 2006 - 02:34 PM |
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I don't think you are responsible for her even if you are deeply married.
What happen to her is in "her" life she is responsible to work it into her life in the future. A husband or a boyfriend is not there to take responsibility for what happened in your life. What we are is to provide a helping hand to get you back on your feet and work through it.. that is far from being "responsible for it." |
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itv1980
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 05, 2004
Posts: 3355
Location: Revalidation centre
Status: Offline
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Jan 13, 2006 - 11:53 PM |
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unless it was you driving the car 
oops getting nasty thoughts here |
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Fred_in_Shanghai
Talker
Joined: June 18, 2005
Posts: 112
Location: Shanghai China, Montreal Canada
Status: Offline
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Jan 14, 2006 - 10:58 AM |
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It is kind of sad, but when someone suffers from a big accident of some sort, it generally changes who they are. Unless the couple has been together for many years, I don't see why they would stay together. To be honest, I think it would be better if they just broke up in the beginning. Once you are in the beginning of a relationship, or even if you are still in the dating phases of what will lead into a relationship... you can't just revert back to friend status and try to help the other through the tough time. For someone to wait a few months before the injured party gets better means he/she would have to put his/her love-life (and everything that goes with it) on hold. Plus, after the injured party gets better, there is no guaranty he/she would be the same person.
If it takes a month or more for someone to get better, imagine if the injured person's gf/bf slept with another person while he/she still tried to be a good friend and help the injured person through the tough time. I think personally, I would rather it ended the moment I got injured because feeling betrayed later on would be much worse. This happened to one of my friends and I can tell you, she was even more devastated from feeling betrayed after her bf slept with another woman because he got lonely...
I guess it just depends on how much they both seriously love each other... but if I got injured, I would understand if I had a gf and she left. |
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Lesi
SuperStar
Joined: July 03, 2005
Posts: 1362
Location: XujiaHui
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Jan 14, 2006 - 03:23 PM |
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Humm... Fred... Why it is must to be about relationship? I mean, if you got hurt, and instead of trying to help you your (friend, parter or whoever) other part chooses to be coward and be with someone healthier than you, you would feel happy about that? From what I have experienced, that time I was just thinking, why cant you be at least human being, without throwing out hard words like"you health is scaring me away. I cant ee you dying!!!"
If you are clear that you dont wanna be with person anymore, you could have just be like a friends(not talking about being a human) and after that injured one gets better take a time to talk and make your own way! It is not helping when apart your physical pain you have to suffer from emotional ones such as disappointment and anger!!!
I cant understand that. |
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Spiro, spero |
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Nathalie25
Board Legend
Joined: Aug 24, 2004
Posts: 10387
Location: Shanghai
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Jan 14, 2006 - 06:04 PM |
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| Post subject: Re: Question about dating |
| itv1980 wrote: |
Just wondering about your views:
Case scenario, your in the dating process and about at the 7th date and feel comfortable and really enjoy each presence and your actually going forward fine.
But then your love interest gets a real shock in its live and bad news caused by an injuries which will dramatically alter his/her world in any way (extreme injury or something like that).
Would you, stay with her/him to the end or just ran away as soon as possible because your just in the dating face and you don't own the person anything. What would you do?
- run away stay to the end of the week, middle, when brought to hospital doors or the end? |
I don't know what I will do, this kind presumption or dramatically process it always depends yourself to solve or to deal it with, love it sometimes just like a balance, so if you suffer it satbly, then it goes well, if you lose your temper, may you will lose your all or just get failed as the plane you can't control it in the sky, so lose or not, continue or not, escape or not, leave or not, it always depends on how you control it in your mastery.  |
_________________
功高盖主，必有祸出。人生是人类生命中内心和万般经历的真实写照。 http:/ |
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Fred_in_Shanghai
Talker
Joined: June 18, 2005
Posts: 112
Location: Shanghai China, Montreal Canada
Status: Offline
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Jan 15, 2006 - 12:48 AM |
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Lesi --> yes, personally, if it was still early in a relationship and there was still no real love, I would prefer if she left me very early. There is no point having her as a friend if she would be seeing other guys during my stay in the hospital. Everytime she would visit, I would just feel even worse.
| Quote: |
| If you are clear that you dont wanna be with person anymore |
... I am not sure... but this sounds like a brake up to me. There are abolutely no words that can be used that would make saying this ok. If she told me this, personally, I would feel better if she just left.
Otherwise, if it was just a "normal" good friend that got sick or injured... then of course it would be easy to help and stay by her side during this difficult time:) |
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itv1980
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 05, 2004
Posts: 3355
Location: Revalidation centre
Status: Offline
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Jan 18, 2006 - 12:09 AM |
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If in this case, it will be defenately a shake out of who are your real friends, but when severe injured isn't it also love: which is to say please find a healthy one, but the one that love you will stay anyway
Jenefer Lopez and Marc Antony have a song about this I belief, but its in Spanish |
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RRRRRRRRGGGGHHH!!! |
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Nathalie25
Board Legend
Joined: Aug 24, 2004
Posts: 10387
Location: Shanghai
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Jan 18, 2006 - 09:14 AM |
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| itv1980 wrote: |
If in this case, it will be defenately a shake out of who are your real friends, but when severe injured isn't it also love: which is to say please find a healthy one, but the one that love you will stay anyway
Jenefer Lopez and Marc Antony have a song about this I belief, but its in Spanish |
could you translate it from spanish to english ? ? ? ? ? ?
I have never learned spanish in my life......  |
_________________
功高盖主，必有祸出。人生是人类生命中内心和万般经历的真实写照。 http:/ |
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itv1980
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 05, 2004
Posts: 3355
Location: Revalidation centre
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
Jan 19, 2006 - 05:23 PM |
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Ahm, I do speak some languages but unfortunately no Spanish, but see what I can do |
_________________
RRRRRRRRGGGGHHH!!! |
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itv1980
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 05, 2004
Posts: 3355
Location: Revalidation centre
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
Jan 19, 2006 - 05:29 PM |
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No Me Ames(Duet with Marc Anthony) Lyrics
Album : On The 6
Artist : Jennifer Lopez
Source: http://www.21lyric.com
Spanish version:
Dime porqu? lloras
De felicidad
Y porqu? te ahogas
Por la soledad
Di porqu? me tomas, fuerte asi,
mis manos, y tus pensamientos te van llevando
Yo te quiero tanto
Y porqu? ser?
Loco testarudo, no lo dudes m?s,
aunque en el futuro haya un muro enorme,
yo no tengo miedo, quiero enamorarme
No me ames, porque pienses que
parezco diferente
T? no piensas que es lo justo,
ver pasar el tiempo juntos
No me ames, que comprendo,
la mentira que seri?
Si tu amor no merezco, no me ames,
mas qu?date otro d?a
No me ames, porque estoy perdido,
porque cambi? el mundo, porque es el
destino, porque no se puede, somos un espejo,
Y t? as? ser?as lo que yo
de m? reflejo
No me ames, para estar muriendo,
dentro de una guerra llena de
arrepentimientos, no me ames para estar
en tierra, quiero alzar el
vuelo, con
tu gran amor por el azul del cielo
(SHORT BREAK)
No s? que decirte, esa es la verdad,
si la gente quiere, sabe lastimar
T? y yo partiremos, ellos no se mueven,
pero en este cielo sola no me dejes
No me dejes, no me dejes, no me escuches,
si te digo "no me ames"
No me dejes, no desarmes,
mi coraz?n con ese "no me ames"
No me ames, te lo ruego, me amargura d?jame
Sabes bien, que no puedo, que es in?til,
que siempre te amar?
No me ames, pues te har? sufrir con este
coraz?n que se llen? de mil inviernos
No me ames, para as? olvidarte de tus d?as grises, quiero que me ames
solo por amarme
No me ames, t? y yo volaremos,
uno con el otro y seguiremos siempre juntos
Este amor es como el sol que sale tras de la tormenta
Como dos cometas en la misma estela
English translation:
"Dont love me"
Tell me why you're crying...
Of happiness.
And why are you drowning?
for loneliness
Tell me why you take my hands so strongly, and let your
thoughts carry you away
I love you so much
And why is that?
Crazy stubborn person, stop doubting it any longer
Even though in the future there will be a huge wall
I'm not afraid, I want to fall in love
Dont love me, because you think that
I may appear different
You dont think its right
For us to see time go by together?
Dont love me, I understand
the lie that it would be
If your love, I don;t deserve, dont love me,
just stay another day
Dont love me, because I am lost,
Because I changed the world,Because its destiny
Because it can't be, We both are like a mirror,
And you would be my own reflection
Don't love me, you would be dying
Within a war full of regrets,dont love me to be on this
Earth, I would like to throw your enormous love
thru the blue sky.
(SHORT BREAK)
I dont know what to say to you, that's the truth
When people want to, they know how to hurt
You and I will depart, they would not move,
But in this sky dont leave me alone
Dont leave me, dont leave me, dont listen to me
If I say to you "dont love me"
Dont let me. Do not disable
my heart with that "Dont love me"
Dont love me, I'm begging you, leave me with my bitternes
You know well, that I can't, that its useless,
That I will always love you
Dont love me,because I would make you suffer with this heart of mine
that was filled with a thousand winters.
Dont love me,so that way you can forget of your gray days.
I want you to love me, just to love me
Dont love me, you and I will fly,
With with the other, and we will always be together
This love is like the sun that comes out after the storm
Like 2 comets on the same path
Belief this is a better way how I wanted to start the tread:
Better late then never, hope you all enjoy |
_________________
RRRRRRRRGGGGHHH!!! |
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Nathalie25
Board Legend
Joined: Aug 24, 2004
Posts: 10387
Location: Shanghai
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| Posted:
Jan 19, 2006 - 05:54 PM |
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| itv1980 wrote: |
No Me Ames(Duet with Marc Anthony) Lyrics
Album : On The 6
Artist : Jennifer Lopez
Source: http://www.21lyric.com
Spanish version:
Dime porqu? lloras
De felicidad
Y porqu? te ahogas
Por la soledad
Di porqu? me tomas, fuerte asi,
mis manos, y tus pensamientos te van llevando
Yo te quiero tanto
Y porqu? ser?
Loco testarudo, no lo dudes m?s,
aunque en el futuro haya un muro enorme,
yo no tengo miedo, quiero enamorarme
No me ames, porque pienses que
parezco diferente
T? no piensas que es lo justo,
ver pasar el tiempo juntos
No me ames, que comprendo,
la mentira que seri?
Si tu amor no merezco, no me ames,
mas qu?date otro d?a
No me ames, porque estoy perdido,
porque cambi? el mundo, porque es el
destino, porque no se puede, somos un espejo,
Y t? as? ser?as lo que yo
de m? reflejo
No me ames, para estar muriendo,
dentro de una guerra llena de
arrepentimientos, no me ames para estar
en tierra, quiero alzar el
vuelo, con
tu gran amor por el azul del cielo
(SHORT BREAK)
No s? que decirte, esa es la verdad,
si la gente quiere, sabe lastimar
T? y yo partiremos, ellos no se mueven,
pero en este cielo sola no me dejes
No me dejes, no me dejes, no me escuches,
si te digo "no me ames"
No me dejes, no desarmes,
mi coraz?n con ese "no me ames"
No me ames, te lo ruego, me amargura d?jame
Sabes bien, que no puedo, que es in?til,
que siempre te amar?
No me ames, pues te har? sufrir con este
coraz?n que se llen? de mil inviernos
No me ames, para as? olvidarte de tus d?as grises, quiero que me ames
solo por amarme
No me ames, t? y yo volaremos,
uno con el otro y seguiremos siempre juntos
Este amor es como el sol que sale tras de la tormenta
Como dos cometas en la misma estela
English translation:
"Dont love me"
Tell me why you're crying...
Of happiness.
And why are you drowning?
for loneliness
Tell me why you take my hands so strongly, and let your
thoughts carry you away
I love you so much
And why is that?
Crazy stubborn person, stop doubting it any longer
Even though in the future there will be a huge wall
I'm not afraid, I want to fall in love
Dont love me, because you think that
I may appear different
You dont think its right
For us to see time go by together?
Dont love me, I understand
the lie that it would be
If your love, I don;t deserve, dont love me,
just stay another day
Dont love me, because I am lost,
Because I changed the world,Because its destiny
Because it can't be, We both are like a mirror,
And you would be my own reflection
Don't love me, you would be dying
Within a war full of regrets,dont love me to be on this
Earth, I would like to throw your enormous love
thru the blue sky.
(SHORT BREAK)
I dont know what to say to you, that's the truth
When people want to, they know how to hurt
You and I will depart, they would not move,
But in this sky dont leave me alone
Dont leave me, dont leave me, dont listen to me
If I say to you "dont love me"
Dont let me. Do not disable
my heart with that "Dont love me"
Dont love me, I'm begging you, leave me with my bitternes
You know well, that I can't, that its useless,
That I will always love you
Dont love me,because I would make you suffer with this heart of mine
that was filled with a thousand winters.
Dont love me,so that way you can forget of your gray days.
I want you to love me, just to love me
Dont love me, you and I will fly,
With with the other, and we will always be together
This love is like the sun that comes out after the storm
Like 2 comets on the same path
Belief this is a better way how I wanted to start the tread:
Better late then never, hope you all enjoy |
this lyric is so hard to understand....... |
_________________
功高盖主，必有祸出。人生是人类生命中内心和万般经历的真实写照。 http:/ |
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itv1980
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 05, 2004
Posts: 3355
Location: Revalidation centre
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
Jan 19, 2006 - 05:58 PM |
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complains complains , buy the dvd of Jenefir lopez and see the video clip you'll understand perfectly.
Situation: The guy (terminal ill) sends his girlfriend away, because he loves her, then lady so moved and comes back and stay with him to the end, cause she loves him too |
_________________
RRRRRRRRGGGGHHH!!! |
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Nathalie25
Board Legend
Joined: Aug 24, 2004
Posts: 10387
Location: Shanghai
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| Posted:
Jan 19, 2006 - 06:11 PM |
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| itv1980 wrote: |
complains complains , buy the dvd of Jenefir lopez and see the video clip you'll understand perfectly.
Situation: The guy (terminal ill) sends his girlfriend away, because he loves her, then lady so moved and comes back and stay with him to the end, cause she loves him too |
I now can understand your lyric very well...... |
_________________
功高盖主，必有祸出。人生是人类生命中内心和万般经历的真实写照。 http:/ |
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itv1980
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 05, 2004
Posts: 3355
Location: Revalidation centre
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
Jan 21, 2006 - 02:01 AM |
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 yeah |
_________________
RRRRRRRRGGGGHHH!!! |
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