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Pablo_Picasso
Board Royalty
Joined: May 05, 2006
Posts: 6715
Location: Spain you bloody idiots.
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 Posted:
July 07, 2006 - 07:39 AM |
 
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| Post subject: Underwear I have known. |
Before leaving England for the former British colony of Hong Kong I was very particular in the brand of underwear that I bought. It could only ever be Marks & Spencer as; firstly, it was a reasonable price and secondly, it was comfortable.
Basically there are only two considerations when purchasing underpants - cost and comfort. Anything else is purely academic.
While in Hong Kong I could still purchase Marks & Spencer (Or Marks & Sparks, for those in the know) underwear albeit at a slightly higher price due to the cost of Hong Kong's real estate value etc etc blah blah.
I was blissfully happy. I was living in the most perfect city in the world and I could still buy the brand of underwear of choice easily, in fact, fifteen minutes walk from my tiny two room 'apartment' on Hollywood Road.
Then it all went horribly wrong - I moved to the Grim Mainland.
I arrived in Shanghai by train as I thought it would lend the journey to the mystical east a poetic feel, but in fact just made the journey far too long and I just seemed to witness one dirty polluted river after another. I banged my head against the window of the train to pass the time as tears of deep regret slipped down my cheeks.
Upon arrival and once established in whatever they referred to as 'accommodation' a couple of months later in some hell hole called Cao Bao Lu which every person I met described as 'beautiful' and 'modern' I found myself in dire need of underwear. Underpants only last so long and, like msn contacts, they come and go.
I marched off to the nearest 'clothing' store to try and get some pants - could I find any? Could I fcuk. The only thing they had were these things designed for gay porn stars from the 1970's - and that's early 1970's too. Small, ultra-small, triangular shaped, ball busting things made of some inferior kind of cotton that only someone desperate for underwear would buy, ie, me.
Yes, it was cheap and yes, it was the most uncomfortable thing I've ever worn in my life. I wanted to learn the sentence 'These things cut right up my arse and I feel like I'm being castrated' in Mandarin long before the phrase 'Turn left here please'.
I was subjected to these torture devices before I discovered Xiang Yang Road market - a haven for tourists and idiots that want to buy utter shite and even laugh about the fact that they've been there. However, this place had one redeeming feature - decent underwear for yours truly. I bought 'fitted' boxers with the name Calvin Klein emblazoned on the front. Now I ask you this. Who in their right mind would buy anything that has the word Calvin Klein (or any other designer label come to that) on any item of clothing? Why not walk around with a T-shirt with the word 'McDonalds' on the front and 'I'm a total **** ****' written on the back?
But beggars cannot be choosers so I chucked a red mao in exchange for 5 pairs of grey and navy blue pants safe in the knowledge that at least my balls would breath a sigh of relief if they had lungs.
Much to my dismay, the said boxers would only last for about five or six washes before the elastic around the waist would expand. What the fcuk?? Expand?? Why not shrink?? That would make more sense to me, but here we are in the Grim Mainland where fcuk all makes sense.
So, it was semi-regular trips to the dreaded Xiang Yang Road market where I would jostle with Germans and other ne'erdowells in my quest for fake Calvin Kleins.
And here's another thing. What woman, in the throes of passion, wants to see a man in Calvin Klein underwear? I mean, really? It's a gay thing, isn't it? But here I was in XYR market, 100 rmb in hand, ready to buy more bullshiit pants and the look on the female vendors face said it all - 'Yes, you are buying fake Calvin Klein underpants, and yes, they will make you look like a fag'. Thanks sweetheart.
Then a miracle happened. I discovered Uniqlo.
Uniqlo is a Japanese owned clothing store whose stores can be found all over Shanghai - there is one one the second floor of Grand Gateway. Two pairs of semi-fitted boxer-style pants for (and get this) 49 rmb!!
Fcuk you Xiang Yang Road market bitch!
Fcuk you cheap pre-Cultural Revolution clothing department store!
I bought 8 pairs immediately, happy that I could chuck out all the other shite I'd had to tolerate for years.
Now I have polka dot pants, striped pants, patterned pants, all kinds of pants courtesy of Uniqlo. Thank fcuk for the japanese.
It may mean nothing to you but to me and my balls it means everything. |
_________________
Well some people try to pick up girls And get called assholes This never happened to Pablo Picasso |
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bellabella
Gypsy Queen
Joined: Aug 03, 2004
Posts: 14989
Location: London
Status: Offline
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July 07, 2006 - 08:15 AM |
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Haha!! Excellent post Pablo!!! I am still an M&S fan I have to say and stock up when i go home. Who can beat them for underwear and food?? |
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Goosie
Board Grand Dame
Joined: July 16, 2003
Posts: 4771
Location: Singapore
Status: Offline
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July 07, 2006 - 08:17 AM |
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So, are you still wearing boxers or have you switched to briefs? |
_________________
Nemesis of Political Correctness |
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bellabella
Gypsy Queen
Joined: Aug 03, 2004
Posts: 14989
Location: London
Status: Offline
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July 07, 2006 - 08:29 AM |
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Goosie
Board Grand Dame
Joined: July 16, 2003
Posts: 4771
Location: Singapore
Status: Offline
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July 07, 2006 - 08:30 AM |
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Nemesis of Political Correctness |
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bellabella
Gypsy Queen
Joined: Aug 03, 2004
Posts: 14989
Location: London
Status: Offline
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July 07, 2006 - 08:33 AM |
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well i assumed you were asking me!  |
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Goosie
Board Grand Dame
Joined: July 16, 2003
Posts: 4771
Location: Singapore
Status: Offline
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July 07, 2006 - 08:50 AM |
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^And how do you know???? |
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Nemesis of Political Correctness |
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mat
Board Royalty
Joined: Apr 26, 2004
Posts: 6937
Location: Loooooooooooose!
Status: Offline
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July 07, 2006 - 09:48 AM |
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Pablo is spot on. Buying Boxer shorts is VERY difficult in Shanghai. I reckon it might be similar to girls trying to get larger size bras.
Xiangyang is the only place i have been able to find cotton ones, but will definitely try Uniqlo now.
I bought 12 at Xiangyang just before they closed, so that should last me at least until the end of the month. |
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www.justbeer.cn Get Loooooooose! |
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bellabella
Gypsy Queen
Joined: Aug 03, 2004
Posts: 14989
Location: London
Status: Offline
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July 07, 2006 - 10:02 AM |
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oh dear, i hate explaining my lame jokes!! Goosie you posted after me so I was 'assuming' that you were talking about what underwear I wear! I have no idea about Pablo's underwear preferences!!! |
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tomnoddy_uk
Fire-eater
Joined: Mar 14, 2006
Posts: 2903
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July 07, 2006 - 10:06 AM |
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Cheers PP, I shall be making the trip this weekend.
Chinese boxers are bad, but I remember stocking up my pile on arrival in Osaka two years ago after 10 months with 4 pairs only to find the XL version there is probably a small in the UK.
Why isn't their a M&S in Shanghai? |
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"Eight minutes past the hour here in Belgium - and presumably eight minutes past the hour everywhere in the world." Murray Walker |
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bellabella
Gypsy Queen
Joined: Aug 03, 2004
Posts: 14989
Location: London
Status: Offline
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July 07, 2006 - 10:16 AM |
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it's probably only a matter of time tomnoddy! Well - let's hope anyway!! That and a bodyshop is really needed! |
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jenming
FooJay
Joined: Dec 20, 2002
Posts: 1675
Location: Right where you wanna be
Status: Offline
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July 07, 2006 - 10:41 AM |
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Thanks for the tip MPMPM, I will be there soon to check out their selection. I'm picky with what touches my naughty bits.
I might note that, while you're in grand gateway, there's a Hanes store (thanks magnolia) which sells underpants, too! They're a little more expensive than uniqlo, but I'm wearing a fitted pair right now, and their mix of lycra and cotton is amazingly comfortable.
Submitted for your consideration. |
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unzip;strip;touch;finger;mount;fsck;more;yes;unmount;sleep |
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Pablo_Picasso
Board Royalty
Joined: May 05, 2006
Posts: 6715
Location: Spain you bloody idiots.
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July 07, 2006 - 11:49 AM |
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I sit before you now, albeit virtually, in a pair of dark blue pants with light blue polka dots.
Size? Extra large, baby.
Just an indication for those of you that know me so you can adjust for your own size requirements.
I must ask this.
Who really buys designer label shiit and actally wears it?
Who is the bigger ****? The shop that sells it or the person that buys it?
I will never get the concept of buying something that has HUGO BOSS written all over it and you have to part with $76 to advertise that product to everyone you meet.
Think about it. |
_________________
Well some people try to pick up girls And get called assholes This never happened to Pablo Picasso |
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janlynn
Wonder Wit
Joined: July 19, 2005
Posts: 3593
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July 07, 2006 - 01:17 PM |
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When I was younger, they gave the stuff away as part of the advertising budget. Mother threw a fit that I would wear advertising for nothing but the article of clothing.
First one was a seven up shirt with the old fashion soda glass made with narrow end at the top! |
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Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead |
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thewalrus
Board Royalty
Joined: Apr 28, 2004
Posts: 7340
Location: i'm halfway up to the bottom of another bottle of my next best favourite friend...
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July 07, 2006 - 01:39 PM |
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The old Bonds jocks from Target, K-Mart or Big W in Oz have always done the job for The Walrus. Bonds is solid - good quality for not too much. Used to pick up a 3 pack for next to nix - different colours and all - the licorice allsorts of undies.
The missus doesn't think too much when I am walking round home in just my jocks and my singlet... pure fashion that it but not all that flatering on the ever expanding belly... |
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"I believe nicotine plus caffeine equals protein." J.Daly |
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Henry_Chinaski
Board Lord
Joined: Aug 16, 2003
Posts: 5025
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July 07, 2006 - 02:22 PM |
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"I will never get the concept of buying something that has HUGO BOSS written all over it and you have to part with $76 to advertise that product to everyone you meet. "
That's why people need top buy personalized underwear and customize it with anything you like.
Saw a pair of panties with "All you can eat" written on top. Ha.
And a Chinese guy ordered underwears with two hand prints on the ass and written on top: "Who's da boss now?" Probably gave to his japanese girlfriend.
Customization rules man. |
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Rio
Post Boaster
Joined: Dec 04, 2004
Posts: 4724
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July 07, 2006 - 02:29 PM |
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I used to like M&S as well. Good first post Pablo.
I know Uniglo, there's also one close to HK Plaza on HH Z Lu.
I wear Bjorn Borgs myself, cant get them here, always get them when I'm back in Holland. I'm used to them, I don't give a shiit about designer stuff, but this is the only 'designer' shiit I really need, otherwise my balls will complain. |
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tomnoddy_uk
Fire-eater
Joined: Mar 14, 2006
Posts: 2903
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July 07, 2006 - 02:58 PM |
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In Japan, I can't remember where abouts, but there is a market that sells girls used underwear to the hoards of japanese men who apparently crave the smell. Why are the japanese and the Chinese so completely different when it comes to... just about everything really. |
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"Eight minutes past the hour here in Belgium - and presumably eight minutes past the hour everywhere in the world." Murray Walker |
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aquagirl
Veejay
Joined: May 02, 2005
Posts: 2094
Location: in a gumdrop house on lollipop lane
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July 07, 2006 - 04:50 PM |
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huh. well, i never had a problem looking at a guy in calvin klein fitted boxers. nope, not one bit. and never thought the guy was gay, though i suppose the instances in which i saw the said shorts were perhaps biasing me...
you are completely correct about the bras though. while i am not a busty gal, my friends are (actually all of them. what the hell does that mean...?). they have complained to me that with a little hunting they can find their sizes, but the bras are always padded. and while not the same size, i have the same problem. the bras have built in pillows, from a to z. it is ridiculous. are all women here completely 'enhanced'?
bella, yes. let's open a body shop. work out the details and send me an e-mail. |
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deliciousness and exciting life go hand in hand |
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aquagirl
Veejay
Joined: May 02, 2005
Posts: 2094
Location: in a gumdrop house on lollipop lane
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July 07, 2006 - 04:54 PM |
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oh, and of course the elastic expands. i have never seen elastic shrink. this can usually be solved by being nicer to your panties by washing them in cool water and not using a dryer. if that is what you did, then i guess the elastic is just cheap crap.
ladies, where do you buy your panties?
i have been unhappy with all my purchases here. |
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deliciousness and exciting life go hand in hand |
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janlynn
Wonder Wit
Joined: July 19, 2005
Posts: 3593
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July 07, 2006 - 05:47 PM |
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Your balls comfy with bjorn borg! What an ad campaign. Then they show you his tennis racket. Too funny!!! |
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Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead |
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bellabella
Gypsy Queen
Joined: Aug 03, 2004
Posts: 14989
Location: London
Status: Offline
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July 07, 2006 - 10:17 PM |
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ladies, where do you buy your panties?
i have been unhappy with all my purchases here. |
i haven't even bothered looking, like i said i stock up when i go home. and i have no hope with bras - i order them online or buy at home. a very good website for underwear (male and female) is www.figleaves.com they are an english company and deliver here for a small fee and they have everything |
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Goosie
Board Grand Dame
Joined: July 16, 2003
Posts: 4771
Location: Singapore
Status: Offline
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July 07, 2006 - 10:20 PM |
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^Believe it or not, the local bras fit me. Ain't that pathetic? |
_________________
Nemesis of Political Correctness |
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bougie
Board Buddha
Joined: Nov 20, 2004
Posts: 13292
Location: Wuhan Hubei China
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July 08, 2006 - 06:51 AM |
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No, its cool. That have miniature push upo bras here. Any mini condoms i think.
Anyway will get my wife to go get me some of those Uniqlo's. I assume they glo in the dark, right? |
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GC
The Ginger Prince
Joined: Dec 01, 2003
Posts: 21531
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July 08, 2006 - 06:55 AM |
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Sorry, but i am a brand freak.
My underwear is by Kevin Klein or Rolf Lauren. |
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You turned on the lights, Fuelled U boats by night, That's how you repay us, It's time to go home. |
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