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tomnoddy_uk
Fire-eater
Joined: Mar 14, 2006
Posts: 2903
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Oct 23, 2006 - 03:49 PM |
 
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| Post subject: Once upon a time... |
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shanghaiceltic
Board Royalty
Joined: Sep 20, 2005
Posts: 7588
Location: Perth WA
Status: Offline
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Oct 23, 2006 - 03:55 PM |
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There was a big bad bear who had drunk to much over the weekend and had a hangover plus a mouth that tasted like all his bear family had poohed in it............... |
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I have parrallel bars at home, one for gin and one for whiskey |
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Reg_Reagan
StreetBeater
Joined: July 18, 2006
Posts: 2400
Location: Friggin' Cessnock...
Status: Offline
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Oct 23, 2006 - 04:07 PM |
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But he still had to get off his bloody asse and head to the dole office. Otherwise no money for Winnie blues or the punt this week. |
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Go and get stuffed the lot of youse... now get me a KB woman... |
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beautiful_mind0905
Board Lord
Joined: June 18, 2006
Posts: 5631
Status: Offline
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Oct 23, 2006 - 04:16 PM |
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There was little red riding hood, hopping along her merry way... |
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Women are the ones who maintain the world while men throw it into disarray with their historic brutality. |
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shanghaiceltic
Board Royalty
Joined: Sep 20, 2005
Posts: 7588
Location: Perth WA
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
Oct 23, 2006 - 04:34 PM |
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She knew the big bad bear was on off to the dole office and would be gone for some time as he needed to make a suppawt (that is a play on words you thick lot) claim for Mrs Bear and all the baby bears. It was the ideal time to raid his house... |
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I have parrallel bars at home, one for gin and one for whiskey |
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lucyna
Veejay
Joined: Aug 03, 2006
Posts: 2166
Status: Offline
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Oct 23, 2006 - 05:25 PM |
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So the little red hood broke into his house and tied Mrs Bear and all the baby bears with toilet tissues. After that she went upstairs to look for valuable stuffs the big bad bear's family possesses. She found plenty of jars of honey in the store room. Just when she figures how to carry such big amount of honey, her gradmother shows up on the door... |
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beautiful_mind0905
Board Lord
Joined: June 18, 2006
Posts: 5631
Status: Offline
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Oct 23, 2006 - 08:50 PM |
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She puts on her wolfish costume and scares her grandmother away...
She was so worn out from her exertions that she fell asleep in Papa Bear's bed... |
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Women are the ones who maintain the world while men throw it into disarray with their historic brutality. |
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CoffeeHawk_0
Board Buddha
Joined: July 14, 2005
Posts: 14380
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Oct 23, 2006 - 09:04 PM |
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But when papa bear came home, he did not notice his wife and kids were tied up, so he crawled into his bed too, rolled over, and... |
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bougie
Board Buddha
Joined: Nov 20, 2004
Posts: 13285
Location: Wuhan Hubei China
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Oct 23, 2006 - 09:05 PM |
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.. [ All that work and now I have to start again ] .. |
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beautiful_mind0905
Board Lord
Joined: June 18, 2006
Posts: 5631
Status: Offline
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Oct 23, 2006 - 09:37 PM |
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Squash...
RIP Little Red Riding Hood |
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Women are the ones who maintain the world while men throw it into disarray with their historic brutality. |
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bougie
Board Buddha
Joined: Nov 20, 2004
Posts: 13285
Location: Wuhan Hubei China
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Oct 23, 2006 - 10:05 PM |
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Thankfully, little red riding hood was having a whizz and had thrown the old blow up poodle on the bed since she had almost tripped and fell over it
[ oh no you don't , it ain't over till the fat lady sings ] |
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beautiful_mind0905
Board Lord
Joined: June 18, 2006
Posts: 5631
Status: Offline
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Oct 23, 2006 - 10:37 PM |
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Little red riding hood woke up to find the Papa and Mama bear pro-creations... |
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Women are the ones who maintain the world while men throw it into disarray with their historic brutality. |
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shanghaiceltic
Board Royalty
Joined: Sep 20, 2005
Posts: 7588
Location: Perth WA
Status: Offline
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Oct 24, 2006 - 06:19 AM |
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Meanwhile downstairs Mama Bear and the Little baby Bears had managed to undo their toilet tissue bonds. Mama Bear was pissed as were the baby bears, slowly, purposefully, she and the baby bears crept up the stairs, they wanted revenge.
It was bad enough people coming in before and nicking their bowls on noodles and shifan but being tied up was one way to make a bear very very angry.... |
_________________
I have parrallel bars at home, one for gin and one for whiskey |
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beautiful_mind0905
Board Lord
Joined: June 18, 2006
Posts: 5631
Status: Offline
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Oct 24, 2006 - 01:27 PM |
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Little red riding hood was beside herself with apprehension...
As they entered the bedroom, Papa Bear clonked Mama Bear and the little bears for being so pissy and noisy...
Papa Bear went back to his reverie...
Little red riding hood seized the opportunity to fling herself out of the nearest window...
Unbeknown to her, she was about to fall into the arms of Prince Charming... |
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Women are the ones who maintain the world while men throw it into disarray with their historic brutality. |
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lucyna
Veejay
Joined: Aug 03, 2006
Posts: 2166
Status: Offline
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Oct 24, 2006 - 01:55 PM |
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Prince charm fell off his horse and little red riding hood just fell on his body. When she saw it was Prince Charm she immediately pretended to faint into his arms. "Lucky Day" Prince Charm said and then took her to the castle... |
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shanghaiceltic
Board Royalty
Joined: Sep 20, 2005
Posts: 7588
Location: Perth WA
Status: Offline
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Oct 24, 2006 - 03:01 PM |
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One day later Prince Charming realised that he had been injured by Little Red Riding Hood falling on him and he falling off his horse.
He went down to the Wild Wood to consult with the Wise Owl who lived in a hole in an old oak tree and ran a law firm called Hoot Grabit & Run Partners. Prince Charming wanted to sue for the injuries, but he needed some legal advice.... |
_________________
I have parrallel bars at home, one for gin and one for whiskey |
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CoffeeHawk_0
Board Buddha
Joined: July 14, 2005
Posts: 14380
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Oct 24, 2006 - 06:57 PM |
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and the only lawyer in the tree was an old owl named Feadell. Unfortunately Feadell was drunk on some illegal Scandanavian drink and instead of creating a lawsuit against Lil Red , he accidently wrote up a lawsuit against Frenchlover for..... |
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beautiful_mind0905
Board Lord
Joined: June 18, 2006
Posts: 5631
Status: Offline
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Oct 24, 2006 - 08:17 PM |
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bigamy... |
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Women are the ones who maintain the world while men throw it into disarray with their historic brutality. |
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bougie
Board Buddha
Joined: Nov 20, 2004
Posts: 13285
Location: Wuhan Hubei China
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Oct 24, 2006 - 10:07 PM |
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It was then that a large bird crashed in the oak tree, and almost like it had been imploded like 911 the oak tree fell on itself , even looked as though it started falling before the big orange bird hit it. |
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beautiful_mind0905
Board Lord
Joined: June 18, 2006
Posts: 5631
Status: Offline
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Oct 24, 2006 - 10:18 PM |
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Getting back to Little Red Riding Hood and her Prince Charming, after the lawyer's mistake, Prince Charming realised how much he loved Little Red Riding Hood.
They had the most magical wedding the town had ever seen and lived happily ever after  .
The End . |
_________________
Women are the ones who maintain the world while men throw it into disarray with their historic brutality. |
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bougie
Board Buddha
Joined: Nov 20, 2004
Posts: 13285
Location: Wuhan Hubei China
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Oct 24, 2006 - 10:19 PM |
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Daniele
Talker
Joined: Oct 20, 2006
Posts: 115
Status: Offline
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Oct 24, 2006 - 11:37 PM |
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| bougie wrote: |
| Then the bed broke .. |
"You gotta lose some weight, sweety" said the now not so charming Prince. |
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bougie
Board Buddha
Joined: Nov 20, 2004
Posts: 13285
Location: Wuhan Hubei China
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Oct 25, 2006 - 07:48 AM |
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Then all of a sudden, 3 sexy naked dancind bears came into the room and it was as though the lights dims and the music started.
Wholy man, is the heaven ??? .... |
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beautiful_mind0905
Board Lord
Joined: June 18, 2006
Posts: 5631
Status: Offline
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Oct 25, 2006 - 10:47 AM |
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lol the bed wasn't broken after all... |
_________________
Women are the ones who maintain the world while men throw it into disarray with their historic brutality. |
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lucyna
Veejay
Joined: Aug 03, 2006
Posts: 2166
Status: Offline
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Oct 25, 2006 - 10:56 AM |
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[it must be broken now. Think about 3 sexy bears in one bed.] |
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