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kendi
Newbie
Joined: July 20, 2006
Posts: 1
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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  Posted:
June 14, 2007 - 01:56 AM |
 
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| Post subject: JUST 4 LAUGH!! |
BASAHIN, TUMAWA at HIGIT SA LAHAT-IPASA!
Street Vendor : "bili na kayo ng relo! gold watch ito!
pag namuti, white gold!
pag huminto stopwatch!"
gf : hu hu hu hu bakit natin ginawa ito? hindi na ako
virgin at dalawang beses pa natin ginawa!
bf : ano? isa lang ah?!
gf : bakit, hindi na ba natin uulitin mamaya?!
Couple talking:
wife : hon, paki fix naman ilaw sa labas.
husband : hello!? electrician ba ako?
wife : eh di pkigawa na lang hagdan natin.
husband : hello!? karpintero ba ako?
umalis c husband, pagbalik gawa na lahat ng sira sa
bahay. tinanong niya wife kung sino gumawa ng trabaho.
wife : kasi kanina a man saw me crying, sabi ko dami
sira dito sa bahay. so he offered to help in exhange of either sex or
bake
ako ng cake.
husband : so pnag-bake mo siya ng cake?
wife : hello?! baker ba ako?!
ANG MARRIED LIFE....
May isang intsik na sa sobrang hilig sa karaoke ay
inabot ng 5 am.
Dahil sa takot mabugbog ni misis, nag-text ng:
"HUWAG KA BAYAD RANSOM. NAKATAKAS AKO. UWI NA KO!"
Husband: "Paratina lang tayo away! Maghiwalay na lang tayo!"
Wife: "Sige, maghati tayo ng mga anak!"
Husband: "Akin ang mga guwapo at maganda!"
Wife: "Sus! Pinili pa yung hindi kanya!"
Sa harap ng nursery window;
Friend: Pare, pag laki ng anak mo, am sure magaling mag-drive
Dad: Bakit, pare, malaki ba ang kamay?
Friend: Hindi. Kasi kamukha siya ng driver ninyo!
Husband came home from church, suddenly lifted his wife
and carried her.
Wife: Why? Did the Pastor tell you to be romantic like this?
Husband: No! He told me to carry my cross!
Friend: "Wow, pare, ganda ng sapatos mo, ah!"
Husband: "Oo. Surprise gift ng kumare mo!"
Friend: "Surprise? Ano occassion?"
Husband: "Wala. Nakita ko na lang sa ilalim ng kama namin kagabi!"
Health Advisory: "Beer contains female hormones, and can
turn men into women.
After 5 pints.... men become talkative, unreasonable,
irritable, cry for nothing, and urinate while sitting!"
WIFE: I'm warning you! Parating na husband ko in 1 hour!
HANDSOME VISITOR: Wala naman akong ginawang masama ah?
WIFE: kaya nga! kung may balak ka, GAWIN MONA!!!
WIFE: Himala! aga mong umuwi ngayon.
HUSBAND: Sunod ko lang utos ng boss ko. Sabi nya "GO TO
HELL", kaya ito uwi agad ako..
Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi ko na
to, let's make love.
Husband: Heh! tumigil ka nga. Maaga pa akong gigising
bukas, buti ikaw, hindi na.
HEHEHHE!
Population policies of countries:
China : Stop at 1 child.
Singapore : Stop at 2 children
Phil: STOP AT 4 A.M.!
RUSSIAN: we're 1st in space
USA : we're 1st in the moon
ERAP: we'll be the 1st in the sun
USA : you can't go there, you'll burn
ERAP: we're not stupid, we'll go there at NIGHT!
Ano kadalasan ang sinasabi kapag nautot?
American: Excuse me.
British: Pardon me.
Pinoy: NOT ME!
"SUMPA"
Hindi na makakatikim ng napakasarap na 'Sex' ang huling
bumasa nito!
Ayos safe na ako...papayag ka bang IKAW ang huling
babasa nito?
hehehe!!! |
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Super_Inggo
Reacher
Joined: June 08, 2007
Posts: 229
Location: On the rings of Saturn
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
June 14, 2007 - 03:10 AM |
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hi kendi, ok mga jokes mo ah... |
_________________
I come in peace... You go to pieces... |
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kinsey
SuperStar
Joined: Oct 22, 2006
Posts: 1376
Location: between stars and waves
Status: Offline
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June 14, 2007 - 04:11 AM |
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mels
Barker
Joined: Oct 24, 2005
Posts: 192
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
June 14, 2007 - 10:58 AM |
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| Post subject: Filipino Expats in Shanghai 5.0 |
Guys, if gusto nyo mag post in Tagalog, post it in this thread lng.. post in English sa ibang thread so others will be able to understand you 
| guel27 wrote: |
Para sa mga kababayan natin na bago dito sa Shanghai, Shanghaiexpat at sa Filipino Thread.
Emergency Numbers
110 – Police
119 – Fire Department
120 – Ambulance
6357 7913 – Police Station (English Speaking)
12121 - Weather Forecast (English Speaking)
5260 4620 2 – Hongqiao Airport (English Speaking)
9608 1388 2 – Pudong Airport (English Speaking)
5385 4017 – Yellow Pages Office Information
http://en.yellowpage.com.cn/
114 – Directory Assistance
160 – Traffic Inquiry
Looking for a place?
Type the name of the place "jollibee"
Then send to 85880
Philippine Consulate General Shanghai
Rm 368, Shanghai Center, 1376 Nanjing Rd (W)
Tel No. 6279-8337
Philippine Airlines
Suite 735A, East Wing, Shanghai Centre
1376 Nanjing Xi Lu, Shanghai 200040, China
Tel No. 6279 8765
Fax: 6279 8762
You can also send them an email. PM me for details
Where to renew your Visa
Bureau of Exit and Entry
1500 Minsheng Road (Near Jinxiu Road, Metro Line 2 Science and Technology Museum Station).
Mon - Fri 9:00 AM - 4:30 PM;
Sat 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM, 1:30 PM - 4:30 PM
Tel No. 6295 5262
Want to send money in Philippines?
Metrobank Shanghai Branch
1203 Marine Tower, 1 Pudong Ave., Shanghai
Tel No. 6886-0008
www.metrobank.com.cn
Catholic Church with English Mass
Saint Peter's Church in Puxi
Address: 270 Chongqing Road (Near Fuxing Road)
Tel No. 6474 4974
English mass every Saturday - 5:00 PM
Sunday - 10:30 AM and 12:30 PM
Sacred Heart of Pudong
Address: 151 Hong Feng Road (Near Biyun Road)
Tel No. 5854 6621
English mass every Sunday 10:30 AM
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/stpetersinternational
Looking for Filipino Style Coffee Shop?
Figaro Coffee Company
160 Xingye Road (Near Madang Road, Metro Line 1 Huangpi Nan Road Station)
Tel No. 6384 7242
www.figarocoffee.com
Looking for a Filipino Style Restaurant?
Macau Portuguese Restaurant
466 Xi Kang Road
Tel No. 6255 0092
Looking for job? try here:
http://www.jobs.shanghaiexpat.com/index.html
http://www.shanghai.asiaexpat.com/
http://www.chinahr.com/
http://www.51job.com/
http://www.chinahr.com/
http://www.zhaopin.com
http://www.enjoyclassifieds.com
http://www.adweekly.cn |
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Juan_Tamad
Board Royalty
Joined: Jan 29, 2007
Posts: 6230
Location: Smoky Mountain
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
June 14, 2007 - 11:02 AM |
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There was a one hour interview on CNBC with Warren Buffet, the second richest man who has donated $31 billion (85% of his fortune) to charity.
Here are some very interesting aspects of his life:
1) He bought his first share at age 11 and he now regrets that he started too late!
2) He bought a small farm at age 14 with savings from delivering newspapers..
3) He still lives in the same small 3 bedroom house in mid-town Omaha; that he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says that he has everything he needs in that house. His house does not have a wall or a fence.
4) He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver or security people around him.
5) He never travels by private jet, although he owns the world's largest private jet company.
6) His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies. He writes only one letter each year to the CEOs of these companies, giving them goals for the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a regular basis.
7) He has given his CEO's only two rules.
Rule number 1: Do not lose any of your share holder's money.
Rule number 2: Do not forget rule number 1.
 He does not socialize with the high society crowd. His past time after he gets home is to make himself some pop corn and watch television.
9) Bill Gates, the world's richest man met him for the first time only 5 years ago. Bill Gates did not think he had anything in common with Warren Buffet. So he had scheduled his meeting only for half an hour. But when Gates met him, the meeting lasted for ten hours and Bill Gates became a devotee of Warren Buffet.
10) Warren Buffet does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer on his desk.
11) His advice to young people: Stay away from credit cards and invest in yourself.
BE A MODEST PERSON!!! |
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milo-sh
SuperStar
Joined: Oct 13, 2006
Posts: 1564
Location: Back in the Islands
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
June 14, 2007 - 11:02 AM |
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Filipino Expats Version 5.0 V12 48valve 750BHP@7800rpm 4CAM Twin Turbocharged and Intercooled.  |
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Juan_Tamad
Board Royalty
Joined: Jan 29, 2007
Posts: 6230
Location: Smoky Mountain
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
June 14, 2007 - 11:09 AM |
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How to cook ADOBO
Chicken adobo is one of the most popular of the Filipino dishes to hit the west. It is tasty and easy to prepare. Serves four.
Instructions
Things You'll Need
1/2 c. vinegar
salt
1 to 2 bay leaves
3 to 4 lb. chicken
6-10 cloves crushed garlic
1/4 c. soy sauces
1 tsp. crushed peppercorns
Steps
Step One. Cut chicken into 3- to 4-inch pieces.
Step Two. Combine chicken, garlic, peppercorns, bay leaves, vinegar, soy sauce and 1/2 c. water in a large pot.
Step Three. Heat until boiling and stir frequently.
Step Four. Turn heat to medium and let simmer for about 30 minutes. Stir occasionally.
Step Five. Adjust flavor by adding more soy sauce or vinegar.
Step Six. Serve with steamed rice.
Step Seven. Tsibugan na!!! |
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Super_Inggo
Reacher
Joined: June 08, 2007
Posts: 229
Location: On the rings of Saturn
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
June 14, 2007 - 11:26 AM |
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| Quote: |
Filipino Expats Version 5.0 V12 48valve 750BHP@7800rpm 4CAM Twin Turbocharged and Intercooled. Mr. Green
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hanep paps, bagong engine na... ano kaya kunsumo sa gasolina? |
_________________
I come in peace... You go to pieces... |
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Super_Inggo
Reacher
Joined: June 08, 2007
Posts: 229
Location: On the rings of Saturn
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
June 14, 2007 - 11:27 AM |
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good afternoon to all... its a rainy thursday...don't forget your umbrellas.  |
_________________
I come in peace... You go to pieces... |
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milo-sh
SuperStar
Joined: Oct 13, 2006
Posts: 1564
Location: Back in the Islands
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
June 14, 2007 - 11:45 AM |
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| Super_Inggo wrote: |
| Quote: |
Filipino Expats Version 5.0 V12 48valve 750BHP@7800rpm 4CAM Twin Turbocharged and Intercooled. Mr. Green
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hanep paps, bagong engine na... ano kaya kunsumo sa gasolina? |
City 14MPG = Highway 22MPG |
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Juan_Tamad
Board Royalty
Joined: Jan 29, 2007
Posts: 6230
Location: Smoky Mountain
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
June 14, 2007 - 12:02 PM |
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Wala bang suggestion para Friday night?
O, tulog at ipon na lang?
Base sa weather forecast mukhang wala nang ulan bukas...
Balitang Menila..
St. Luke’s Medical Center branch to rise in Taguig
Thursday, June 14, 2007
An official of the Taguig City government yesterday bared that a branch of the St. Luke’s Medical Center, one of the leading hospitals in the country, is now under construction at The Fort, Global City. |
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seph_07
Fire-eater
Joined: June 23, 2006
Posts: 2744
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June 14, 2007 - 12:09 PM |
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welcome to the new engine... |
_________________
how many brothers fell victim to the street... |
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n1ck0y
Ranter
Joined: Mar 04, 2007
Posts: 505
Location: China
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
June 14, 2007 - 12:12 PM |
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bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmm.... hoooooah!!! hanef mga koya!! |
_________________
i know that i dont know anything |
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guel27
Board Royalty
Joined: Oct 10, 2005
Posts: 7462
Location: iwahig
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June 14, 2007 - 12:16 PM |
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Para sa mga kababayan natin na bago dito sa Shanghai, Shanghaiexpat at sa Filipino Thread.
Bus route (English)
http://msittig.wubi.org/bus/ |
_________________
umamin ka na kasi, halata naman e
Last edited by guel27 on July 13, 2007 - 09:55 AM; edited 2 times in total |
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guel27
Board Royalty
Joined: Oct 10, 2005
Posts: 7462
Location: iwahig
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June 14, 2007 - 12:17 PM |
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bakit late na dapat kagabi pa ah! |
_________________
umamin ka na kasi, halata naman e |
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n1ck0y
Ranter
Joined: Mar 04, 2007
Posts: 505
Location: China
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
June 14, 2007 - 12:21 PM |
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ganon talga. hehehehe..wala kasi si kitty kya late! nyahahahaha! |
_________________
i know that i dont know anything |
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graccias
Raver
Joined: June 07, 2006
Posts: 447
Location: Huashan Lu
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
June 14, 2007 - 12:24 PM |
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guel27
Board Royalty
Joined: Oct 10, 2005
Posts: 7462
Location: iwahig
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| Posted:
June 14, 2007 - 12:33 PM |
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lumpiang shanghai |
_________________
umamin ka na kasi, halata naman e |
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seph_07
Fire-eater
Joined: June 23, 2006
Posts: 2744
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| Posted:
June 14, 2007 - 12:33 PM |
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boring thursday!
katamad sobra!
may gathering ba tayo tomorrow? o kanya-kanya pa din? |
_________________
how many brothers fell victim to the street... |
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graccias
Raver
Joined: June 07, 2006
Posts: 447
Location: Huashan Lu
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
June 14, 2007 - 12:37 PM |
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kainan na pala, wala naman kakainin at nakakatamad lumabas  |
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graccias
Raver
Joined: June 07, 2006
Posts: 447
Location: Huashan Lu
Status: Offline
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June 14, 2007 - 12:39 PM |
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milo-sh
SuperStar
Joined: Oct 13, 2006
Posts: 1564
Location: Back in the Islands
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
June 14, 2007 - 12:39 PM |
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Haaayyy....ulaaaaan paaaaa!!! naknang... |
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graccias
Raver
Joined: June 07, 2006
Posts: 447
Location: Huashan Lu
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
June 14, 2007 - 12:48 PM |
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sarap sana mag tuyo at sinangag yumyumyumyum  |
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guel27
Board Royalty
Joined: Oct 10, 2005
Posts: 7462
Location: iwahig
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| Posted:
June 14, 2007 - 12:49 PM |
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grabe sarap ng buhay ng day off, sarap matulog! |
_________________
umamin ka na kasi, halata naman e |
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mrpango
Low Seater
Joined: Jan 26, 2007
Posts: 3274
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
June 14, 2007 - 12:51 PM |
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hahahahahaha.....
What did it all mean? |
_________________
Well, may as well start a blog http://www.sinocracy.com/ - click at your leisure! |
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