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lucar
Board Royalty
Joined: July 05, 2004
Posts: 6402
Status: Offline
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 Posted:
Dec 21, 2007 - 05:57 PM |
 
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| travelinjack3 wrote: |
Laser cannon monitored queues so that jumpers are blasted. May also work on a sound targeted system for phlem spitters.
A breath mint that also eliminates excess phlem.
Self draining and disinfecting sidewalks for crap and urine from kids and cabbies.
A mattress that isn't made of concrete.
A HEPA filter the size of Jinmao Tower. |
^You are too mean. But, I split my gut laughing. I especially like the laser cannon idea!  |
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SirFiddler
Board Legend
Joined: Mar 30, 2004
Posts: 11621
Location: Very close to a bottle of chilled Boags
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Dec 21, 2007 - 06:15 PM |
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a little stick the size of a thermometer that you dip in your drink and it automatically tells you if its fake booze or not |
_________________
Special offer at Cuvee : Bring your business card and get a free punch |
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SirFiddler
Board Legend
Joined: Mar 30, 2004
Posts: 11621
Location: Very close to a bottle of chilled Boags
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Dec 21, 2007 - 06:18 PM |
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a credit card that only works when you're sober |
_________________
Special offer at Cuvee : Bring your business card and get a free punch |
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DesertSpider
Post Boaster
Joined: Jan 19, 2007
Posts: 4725
Location: SHANGHAI, CHINA
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Dec 21, 2007 - 09:38 PM |
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| SirFiddler wrote: |
| a little stick the size of a thermometer that you dip in your drink and it automatically tells you if its fake booze or not |
Nice. |
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DesertSpider
Post Boaster
Joined: Jan 19, 2007
Posts: 4725
Location: SHANGHAI, CHINA
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Dec 21, 2007 - 09:39 PM |
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| SirFiddler wrote: |
| a credit card that only works when you're sober |
Nice. |
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SnappySammy
Board Legend
Joined: Nov 01, 2007
Posts: 12965
Status: Offline
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Dec 21, 2007 - 10:04 PM |
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| DesertSpider wrote: |
| Just one ? |
It's a start! |
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Oilman
Reacher
Joined: Nov 22, 2005
Posts: 315
Location: Xu Jia Hui
Status: Offline
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Dec 30, 2007 - 11:35 PM |
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Razor Wire Jackets for those who like to push and shove on metro or in line. |
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Sorry, I somehow sometimes is an illiterate~~~~~~~ |
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sbergman
StreetBeater
Joined: Sep 12, 2007
Posts: 2356
Status: Offline
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May 30, 2008 - 07:46 PM |
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Giant spikes that line pedestrian crossings and shred the tires of any car that stops for the red light only after having entered the crosswalk. |
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findus
Fire-eater
Joined: Feb 03, 2004
Posts: 2521
Status: Offline
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May 31, 2008 - 05:06 PM |
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^That would only lead to mass traffic jams and thousands of honking horns! Replace the spikes with a vaporizing laser beam 
All vehicles fitted with a pedestrian face-reader. When the face reader notices someone crossing the road without looking, the vehicle is forced to accelerate. When face reader notices someone crossing the road while staring in the complete opposite direction of oncoming traffic, the vehicle is forced to accelerate and not return to normal speed until the target is eliminated.
I call it 'The Darwin Device'. |
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oh_the_darkness
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 17, 2008
Posts: 2528
Status: Offline
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May 31, 2008 - 05:50 PM |
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Some kind of computer-chip installed at birth so that if any local points at a foreigner and starts going 'Hellooo?? Laowai!!!' then his or her immediate neighbours will urinate on him or her. |
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And you may ask yourself Am I right? ...am I wrong? And you may tell yourself My god!...what have I done? |
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genghis
Raver
Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Posts: 486
Status: Offline
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June 03, 2008 - 08:21 PM |
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This is a silly thread. Anyone who knows anything knows that everything in the world is, was, and always will be invented in China. |
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boredengineer
SuperStar
Joined: Oct 17, 2007
Posts: 1344
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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June 03, 2008 - 11:47 PM |
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Some type of cloud seeding that makes it rain disinfectant |
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ChicoStateDisciple
Raver
Joined: Jan 16, 2008
Posts: 416
Location: 3:17 AM
Status: Offline
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June 20, 2008 - 04:56 PM |
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bicycle helmets.
And you could also put Jacks Laser cannon on Ambulances so people will get out of the way instead of parking.
Oh very sharp edges to the subway doors so instead of them never closing due to over packing they just cut there way though. |
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Conceived in London, Born in Germany and 100% American from Day 1 |
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oh_the_darkness
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 17, 2008
Posts: 2528
Status: Offline
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June 20, 2008 - 05:06 PM |
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| ChicoStateDisciple wrote: |
Oh very sharp edges to the subway doors so instead of them never closing due to over packing they just cut there way though. |
What a great way of culling, because it sure as hell wouldn't stop them. |
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bloomark
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 28, 2008
Posts: 2639
Location: Reality
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June 20, 2008 - 06:20 PM |
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Sbergman, Maybe, maybe the invention that China needs the most is the large chuncks of big musculine males to comfort you from career mediocrity and complaints. |
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Never expect accountable tips from a bitter rumrunner. |
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bloomark
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 28, 2008
Posts: 2639
Location: Reality
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June 20, 2008 - 06:26 PM |
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I just can't imagine some you expats are always making yourselves out to be winners on the net, but actual losers in reality. What are your problems?
Are those compaints normal in the States?
I doubt your quality of being successful persons. But for sure those negative complaints and poisonous jokes are no that sort of characters.
Losers dig fun out of their failures. |
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Never expect accountable tips from a bitter rumrunner. |
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bloomark
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 28, 2008
Posts: 2639
Location: Reality
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June 20, 2008 - 06:30 PM |
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Laser cannon?
Yes, Chinese laser cannons are nightmare for U.S. satellites and aircrafts.
And this kind of invention is surely the big pain in the heart of some staff in the Pentagon. |
_________________
Never expect accountable tips from a bitter rumrunner. |
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ChicoStateDisciple
Raver
Joined: Jan 16, 2008
Posts: 416
Location: 3:17 AM
Status: Offline
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June 20, 2008 - 06:42 PM |
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^?????????
I know I have a simple mind, but really man... |
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Conceived in London, Born in Germany and 100% American from Day 1 |
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p1atl10
Shanghai Royalty
Joined: Mar 18, 2005
Posts: 8584
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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June 20, 2008 - 07:08 PM |
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| Quote: |
I just can't imagine some you expats are always making yourselves out to be winners on the net, but actual losers in reality. What are your problems?
Are those compaints normal in the States?
I doubt your quality of being successful persons. But for sure those negative complaints and poisonous jokes are no that sort of characters.
Losers dig fun out of their failures.
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An auto-delete function on this site that eliminates comments from wing nuts that cannot understand a joke when they see it..... |
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Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.....Dave Barry |
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bloomark
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 28, 2008
Posts: 2639
Location: Reality
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June 20, 2008 - 10:36 PM |
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An auto-delete function on this site that eliminates comments from wing nuts that cannot understand a joke when they see it.....
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Wrong.
That's just jokes of another knid, or say, of another taste.  |
_________________
Never expect accountable tips from a bitter rumrunner. |
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bloomark
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 28, 2008
Posts: 2639
Location: Reality
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June 20, 2008 - 10:48 PM |
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What inventions does U.S. need?
I'd like to see:
Some certain pill that can divert campus murders/killers from sweeping fire in classroom to killing civilians in Iraq.
And the spacecrafts that can spread democracy to other earth alike planets. |
_________________
Never expect accountable tips from a bitter rumrunner. |
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genghis
Raver
Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Posts: 486
Status: Offline
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July 08, 2008 - 08:32 PM |
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Hi Bloo! I might be able to help here:
| Quote: |
I just can't imagine some you expats are always making yourselves out to be winners on the net, but actual losers in reality. What are your problems?
Are those compaints normal in the States? |
Yes, complaints such as these are common and normal in the States. In fact, much more so. This is mainly because complaints are usually made for a reason, and in the States, often if enough people complain, things actually get fixed. In fact, complaining in the US is an artform which often involves prοtests and legal documents.
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I doubt your quality of being successful persons. But for sure those negative complaints and poisonous jokes are no that sort of characters.
Losers dig fun out of their failures. |
Hey, some of those complaints are legitimate. Poop in the street is unsanitary AND disgusting. Not only for the smell, but for diseases and public health. Sorry, but contracting Hepatitis while walking down the street is not high on my priorities.
Some of the other ones are cultural observations which I feel openly allowed to criticize. I feel completely at ease saying that Chinese people do not bother to look at traffic lights/crosswalk lights, Chinese people don't understand the concept of "lines" for waiting, the concept of how elevators actually work is unknown in China, and that smashing apart a chicken with a hammer is absolutely the WORST way to make a chicken dish.
Now granted, these are observations I have made. I'm sure there is a deeper underlying reason to all these things for why they occur (like, I know that the way chicken is prepared is from old techniques to MAXIMIZE the usage. I personally may not like it, but that doesn't mean it's wrong, just bad in my opinion.)
Sidenote: I do also now know why a lot of spoken Chinese is done from the front of the mouth. This is to not aggravate the stab wounds from bone splinters around your molars, the roof of your mouth and your throat... Ok, Kidding... 
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Laser cannon?
Yes, Chinese laser cannons are nightmare for U.S. satellites and aircrafts.
And this kind of invention is surely the big pain in the heart of some staff in the Pentagon. |
Well, not really bro. China can say that they have a laser cannon more powerful that the US. That's true. BUT, you must understand this. Why doesn't the US have a laser cannon?!?!?! Well, we do. They're on planes. Laser cannons were phased out in the US as a practical weapon because, well they suck. Best of luck to China if they want to shoot down a satellite on a really cloudy day or if it's raining. So, this is a pain on days with ideal conditions when trajectories are just right. Sounds impressive, but it's not. Sorry. It's like saying "Hey, I have a sling shot that shoots diamonds!"
Oh well, just having fun with you man! |
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liupei
Reacher
Joined: July 05, 2008
Posts: 295
Status: Offline
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July 11, 2008 - 05:44 AM |
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^this guys kinda cool
even if he has no awareness of the treaty banning laser weapon by western countries |
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oh_the_darkness
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 17, 2008
Posts: 2528
Status: Offline
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July 11, 2008 - 08:36 AM |
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| liupei wrote: |
^this guys kinda cool
even if he has no awareness of the treaty banning laser weapon by western countries |
The fact that you are aware of that fact, pissed-drunk in some net bar, surrounded by kids playing World of Warcraft is kinda funny.
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genghis
Raver
Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Posts: 486
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
July 11, 2008 - 12:48 PM |
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| Quote: |
| even if he has no awareness of the treaty banning laser weapon by western countries |
Yes, banning them for attacking or blinding soldiers. Nothing banning them for other uses. |
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