* Get your questions answered by tens of thousands of community members
* Network with expats and english speakers living in Shanghai
* Find like-minded people in a sometimes intimidating environment
* GET ONE MONTH FREE GUANXI SMS LOOKUP SERVICE
           close
Remember?
  Forum FAQForum FAQ   SearchSearch   PreferencesPreferences  Watched TopicsWatched Topics  Watched ForumsWatched Forums
Log in to check your private messages Log in to check your private messages    Log inLog in   Ignored Users

Post new topic   Reply to topic
View previous topic Printable version Log in to check your private messages View next topic
Author Message
lucarOffline
Board Royalty
Board Royalty


Joined: July 05, 2004
Posts: 6265

Status: Offline
Post  Posted: Dec 21, 2007 - 05:57 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

travelinjack3 wrote:
Laser cannon monitored queues so that jumpers are blasted. May also work on a sound targeted system for phlem spitters.

A breath mint that also eliminates excess phlem.

Self draining and disinfecting sidewalks for crap and urine from kids and cabbies.

A mattress that isn't made of concrete.

A HEPA filter the size of Jinmao Tower.


^You are too mean. But, I split my gut laughing. I especially like the laser cannon idea! Idea
View user's profile
SirFiddler
Board Legend
Board Legend


Joined: Mar 30, 2004
Posts: 11445
Location: Very close to a bottle of chilled Boags
Post  Posted: Dec 21, 2007 - 06:15 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

a little stick the size of a thermometer that you dip in your drink and it automatically tells you if its fake booze or not

_________________
Beer...Soooo much more than just breakfast www.justbeer.cn
View user's profile ICQ Number
SirFiddler
Board Legend
Board Legend


Joined: Mar 30, 2004
Posts: 11445
Location: Very close to a bottle of chilled Boags
Post  Posted: Dec 21, 2007 - 06:18 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

a credit card that only works when you're sober

_________________
Beer...Soooo much more than just breakfast www.justbeer.cn
View user's profile ICQ Number
DesertSpider
Post Roaster
Post Roaster


Joined: Jan 19, 2007
Posts: 4417
Location: SHANGHAI, CHINA
Post  Posted: Dec 21, 2007 - 09:38 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

SirFiddler wrote:
a little stick the size of a thermometer that you dip in your drink and it automatically tells you if its fake booze or not


Nice.

_________________
wrote:
I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro.
View user's profile
DesertSpider
Post Roaster
Post Roaster


Joined: Jan 19, 2007
Posts: 4417
Location: SHANGHAI, CHINA
Post  Posted: Dec 21, 2007 - 09:39 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

SirFiddler wrote:
a credit card that only works when you're sober


Nice.

_________________
wrote:
I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro.
View user's profile
SnappySammyOffline
Board Legend
Board Legend


Joined: Nov 01, 2007
Posts: 10142

Status: Offline
Post  Posted: Dec 21, 2007 - 10:04 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

DesertSpider wrote:
Just one ?


It's a start!
View user's profile
OilmanOffline
Reacher
Reacher


Joined: Nov 22, 2005
Posts: 296
Location: Xu Jia Hui
Status: Offline
Post  Posted: Dec 30, 2007 - 11:35 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

Razor Wire Jackets for those who like to push and shove on metro or in line.

_________________
Sorry, I somehow sometimes is an illiterate~~~~~~~
View user's profile
sbergmanOffline
Veejay
Veejay


Joined: Sep 12, 2007
Posts: 2167

Status: Offline
Post  Posted: May 30, 2008 - 07:46 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

Giant spikes that line pedestrian crossings and shred the tires of any car that stops for the red light only after having entered the crosswalk.
View user's profile
findusOffline
Veejay
Veejay


Joined: Feb 03, 2004
Posts: 1829

Status: Offline
Post  Posted: May 31, 2008 - 05:06 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

^That would only lead to mass traffic jams and thousands of honking horns! Replace the spikes with a vaporizing laser beam Very Happy

All vehicles fitted with a pedestrian face-reader. When the face reader notices someone crossing the road without looking, the vehicle is forced to accelerate. When face reader notices someone crossing the road while staring in the complete opposite direction of oncoming traffic, the vehicle is forced to accelerate and not return to normal speed until the target is eliminated.

I call it 'The Darwin Device'.

_________________
wwzcsd wrote:
We have NO racialism in China. Racialism was born in western.Your culture produced it.In Chinese Culture,we dont discriminate any race and nation.
View user's profile
oh_the_darknessOffline
Fire-eater
Fire-eater


Joined: Apr 17, 2008
Posts: 2528

Status: Offline
Post  Posted: May 31, 2008 - 05:50 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

Some kind of computer-chip installed at birth so that if any local points at a foreigner and starts going 'Hellooo?? Laowai!!!' then his or her immediate neighbours will urinate on him or her.

_________________
And you may ask yourself Am I right? ...am I wrong? And you may tell yourself My god!...what have I done?
View user's profile
genghisOffline
Raver
Raver


Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Posts: 455

Status: Offline
Post  Posted: June 03, 2008 - 08:21 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

This is a silly thread. Anyone who knows anything knows that everything in the world is, was, and always will be invented in China.
View user's profile
boredengineerOffline
SuperStar
SuperStar


Joined: Oct 17, 2007
Posts: 1344
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
Post  Posted: June 03, 2008 - 11:47 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

Some type of cloud seeding that makes it rain disinfectant
View user's profile Visit poster's website MSN Messenger
ChicoStateDiscipleOffline
Reacher
Reacher


Joined: Jan 16, 2008
Posts: 359
Location: 3:17 AM
Status: Offline
Post  Posted: June 20, 2008 - 04:56 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

bicycle helmets.

And you could also put Jacks Laser cannon on Ambulances so people will get out of the way instead of parking.

Oh very sharp edges to the subway doors so instead of them never closing due to over packing they just cut there way though.

_________________
Conceived in London, Born in Germany and 100% American from Day 1
View user's profile
oh_the_darknessOffline
Fire-eater
Fire-eater


Joined: Apr 17, 2008
Posts: 2528

Status: Offline
Post  Posted: June 20, 2008 - 05:06 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

ChicoStateDisciple wrote:


Oh very sharp edges to the subway doors so instead of them never closing due to over packing they just cut there way though.


What a great way of culling, because it sure as hell wouldn't stop them.
View user's profile
bloomarkOffline
PopStar
PopStar


Joined: Apr 28, 2008
Posts: 1015
Location: Reality
Status: Offline
Post  Posted: June 20, 2008 - 06:20 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

Sbergman, Maybe, maybe the invention that China needs the most is the large chuncks of big musculine males to comfort you from career mediocrity and complaints.

_________________
Never expect accountable tips from a bitter rumrunner.
View user's profile ICQ Number
bloomarkOffline
PopStar
PopStar


Joined: Apr 28, 2008
Posts: 1015
Location: Reality
Status: Offline
Post  Posted: June 20, 2008 - 06:26 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

I just can't imagine some you expats are always making yourselves out to be winners on the net, but actual losers in reality. What are your problems?
Are those compaints normal in the States?
I doubt your quality of being successful persons. But for sure those negative complaints and poisonous jokes are no that sort of characters.
Losers dig fun out of their failures.

_________________
Never expect accountable tips from a bitter rumrunner.
View user's profile ICQ Number
bloomarkOffline
PopStar
PopStar


Joined: Apr 28, 2008
Posts: 1015
Location: Reality
Status: Offline
Post  Posted: June 20, 2008 - 06:30 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

Laser cannon?

Yes, Chinese laser cannons are nightmare for U.S. satellites and aircrafts.

And this kind of invention is surely the big pain in the heart of some staff in the Pentagon.

_________________
Never expect accountable tips from a bitter rumrunner.
View user's profile ICQ Number
ChicoStateDiscipleOffline
Reacher
Reacher


Joined: Jan 16, 2008
Posts: 359
Location: 3:17 AM
Status: Offline
Post  Posted: June 20, 2008 - 06:42 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

^?????????

I know I have a simple mind, but really man...

_________________
Conceived in London, Born in Germany and 100% American from Day 1
View user's profile
p1atl10Offline
Board Royalty
Board Royalty


Joined: Mar 18, 2005
Posts: 6297
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
Post  Posted: June 20, 2008 - 07:08 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

Quote:

I just can't imagine some you expats are always making yourselves out to be winners on the net, but actual losers in reality. What are your problems?
Are those compaints normal in the States?
I doubt your quality of being successful persons. But for sure those negative complaints and poisonous jokes are no that sort of characters.
Losers dig fun out of their failures.



An auto-delete function on this site that eliminates comments from wing nuts that cannot understand a joke when they see it.....

_________________
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.....Dave Barry
View user's profile
bloomarkOffline
PopStar
PopStar


Joined: Apr 28, 2008
Posts: 1015
Location: Reality
Status: Offline
Post  Posted: June 20, 2008 - 10:36 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

Quote:

An auto-delete function on this site that eliminates comments from wing nuts that cannot understand a joke when they see it.....



Wrong.
That's just jokes of another knid, or say, of another taste. Laughing

_________________
Never expect accountable tips from a bitter rumrunner.
View user's profile ICQ Number
bloomarkOffline
PopStar
PopStar


Joined: Apr 28, 2008
Posts: 1015
Location: Reality
Status: Offline
Post  Posted: June 20, 2008 - 10:48 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

What inventions does U.S. need?

I'd like to see:

Some certain pill that can divert campus murders/killers from sweeping fire in classroom to killing civilians in Iraq.
And the spacecrafts that can spread democracy to other earth alike planets.

_________________
Never expect accountable tips from a bitter rumrunner.
View user's profile ICQ Number
genghisOffline
Raver
Raver


Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Posts: 455

Status: Offline
Post  Posted: July 08, 2008 - 08:32 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

Hi Bloo! I might be able to help here:

Quote:
I just can't imagine some you expats are always making yourselves out to be winners on the net, but actual losers in reality. What are your problems?
Are those compaints normal in the States?


Yes, complaints such as these are common and normal in the States. In fact, much more so. This is mainly because complaints are usually made for a reason, and in the States, often if enough people complain, things actually get fixed. In fact, complaining in the US is an artform which often involves prοtests and legal documents.

Quote:
I doubt your quality of being successful persons. But for sure those negative complaints and poisonous jokes are no that sort of characters.
Losers dig fun out of their failures.


Hey, some of those complaints are legitimate. Poop in the street is unsanitary AND disgusting. Not only for the smell, but for diseases and public health. Sorry, but contracting Hepatitis while walking down the street is not high on my priorities.

Some of the other ones are cultural observations which I feel openly allowed to criticize. I feel completely at ease saying that Chinese people do not bother to look at traffic lights/crosswalk lights, Chinese people don't understand the concept of "lines" for waiting, the concept of how elevators actually work is unknown in China, and that smashing apart a chicken with a hammer is absolutely the WORST way to make a chicken dish.

Now granted, these are observations I have made. I'm sure there is a deeper underlying reason to all these things for why they occur (like, I know that the way chicken is prepared is from old techniques to MAXIMIZE the usage. I personally may not like it, but that doesn't mean it's wrong, just bad in my opinion.)

Sidenote: I do also now know why a lot of spoken Chinese is done from the front of the mouth. This is to not aggravate the stab wounds from bone splinters around your molars, the roof of your mouth and your throat... Ok, Kidding... Razz

Quote:
Laser cannon?

Yes, Chinese laser cannons are nightmare for U.S. satellites and aircrafts.

And this kind of invention is surely the big pain in the heart of some staff in the Pentagon.


Well, not really bro. China can say that they have a laser cannon more powerful that the US. That's true. BUT, you must understand this. Why doesn't the US have a laser cannon?!?!?! Well, we do. They're on planes. Laser cannons were phased out in the US as a practical weapon because, well they suck. Best of luck to China if they want to shoot down a satellite on a really cloudy day or if it's raining. So, this is a pain on days with ideal conditions when trajectories are just right. Sounds impressive, but it's not. Sorry. It's like saying "Hey, I have a sling shot that shoots diamonds!"

Oh well, just having fun with you man!
View user's profile
liupeiOffline
Reacher
Reacher


Joined: July 05, 2008
Posts: 295

Status: Offline
Post  Posted: July 11, 2008 - 05:44 AM  Reply with quote  Back to top

^this guys kinda cool

even if he has no awareness of the treaty banning laser weapon by western countries
View user's profile ICQ Number
oh_the_darknessOffline
Fire-eater
Fire-eater


Joined: Apr 17, 2008
Posts: 2528

Status: Offline
Post  Posted: July 11, 2008 - 08:36 AM  Reply with quote  Back to top

liupei wrote:
^this guys kinda cool

even if he has no awareness of the treaty banning laser weapon by western countries


The fact that you are aware of that fact, pissed-drunk in some net bar, surrounded by kids playing World of Warcraft is kinda funny.

Laughing
View user's profile
genghisOffline
Raver
Raver


Joined: Apr 02, 2008
Posts: 455

Status: Offline
Post  Posted: July 11, 2008 - 12:48 PM  Reply with quote  Back to top

Quote:
even if he has no awareness of the treaty banning laser weapon by western countries


Yes, banning them for attacking or blinding soldiers. Nothing banning them for other uses.
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:     
Jump to:  
All times are GMT + 8 Hours
Post new topic   Reply to topic
View previous topic Printable version Log in to check your private messages View next topic
Powered by MDForum 2.0.7© 2003-2007 MAXdev Team
Credits
Welcome Guest

Username
Password
Remember me
Register Here!
Join the Shanghai Expat News in the Mail
Email:

Latest Newsletters
Events in Shanghai
November 18, 2008


Members
November 25, 2008


Discounts
November 27, 2008


Web ShanghaiExpat

Welcome Guest
Join Us!

Register, it's free!
 Create an account
Members: Online
Members: Members:80
Guests: Guests:556
Total: Total:636

    Home    Sitemap    Terms of Service    Privacy Policy     Contact Us    Advertising 

All logos and trademarks on this site are property of their respective owner. The comments and forum posts are property of their posters, all the rest copyright 1999-2008 by Max Intermedia LTD.

Powered by MD-Pro