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sbergman
Veejay
Joined: Sep 12, 2007
Posts: 2167
Status: Offline
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 Posted:
Dec 20, 2007 - 12:55 PM |
 
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| Post subject: Inventions for China |
What inventions does China need?
I'd like to see:
A shoe washer/disinfector
Something that causes a car horn to be as loud inside the car as it is outside
Silencers to quiet people who insist on talking all the way through performances |
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LifeMage
FooSlinger
Joined: Sep 30, 2005
Posts: 3955
Location: In the world...... but not of it.
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Dec 20, 2007 - 12:58 PM |
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a smoke detector / sprinkler system for elevators.
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_________________
visit my flickr page |
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mat
Board Royalty
Joined: Apr 26, 2004
Posts: 6973
Location: Loooooooooooose!
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 12:58 PM |
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| Quote: |
Something that causes a car horn to be as loud inside the car as it is outside
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Absolute genius. |
_________________
www.justbeer.cn Get Loooooooose! |
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shanghaiceltic
Board Royalty
Joined: Sep 20, 2005
Posts: 7619
Location: Perth WA
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 01:42 PM |
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Something on buses, cars, trucks and bikes that prevents them crossing on a red light. |
_________________
I have parrallel bars at home, one for gin and one for whiskey |
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shanghaiceltic
Board Royalty
Joined: Sep 20, 2005
Posts: 7619
Location: Perth WA
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 01:43 PM |
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Supermarket trolley warning system, they drive their trolleys like they do their cars..... |
_________________
I have parrallel bars at home, one for gin and one for whiskey |
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travelinjack3
FooJay
Joined: Sep 19, 2005
Posts: 1718
Location: Right Bank
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 01:50 PM |
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Laser cannon monitored queues so that jumpers are blasted. May also work on a sound targeted system for phlem spitters.
A breath mint that also eliminates excess phlem.
Self draining and disinfecting sidewalks for crap and urine from kids and cabbies.
A mattress that isn't made of concrete.
A HEPA filter the size of Jinmao Tower. |
_________________
If the billy goat was Bootsie and the troll was Maceo, then only the Godfather of Soul can really take you to the bridge. |
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GeoffOz
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 28, 2005
Posts: 2778
Location: Lost in Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 01:52 PM |
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An umbrella with a special attachment that dislodges those irritating footpath scooter riders as they beep at you to make room for them. |
_________________
The secrets of this Earth are not for all to see, but only for those who will seek them... |
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MyNameIsPablo
StreetBeater
Joined: Sep 06, 2007
Posts: 2455
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 02:04 PM |
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A computer chip that prevents Chinese people from asking the following questions:
Do you like China?
Do you like Chinese food?
Are you know how to use chopsticks?
Do you marry?
How much do you earn?
Do you have how many children?
You like Chinese girl? |
_________________
Quiet - Or Papa Spank. |
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GeoffOz
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 28, 2005
Posts: 2778
Location: Lost in Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 02:18 PM |
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Or even a computer chip that has been preprogrammed to give equally non-sensical answers to all those questions... |
_________________
The secrets of this Earth are not for all to see, but only for those who will seek them... |
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MyNameIsPablo
StreetBeater
Joined: Sep 06, 2007
Posts: 2455
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 02:25 PM |
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An electric suit that protects the wearer but issues a sharp electric shock (not fatal) to any person that barges using any unnecessary force. A pressure guage could be fitted to prevent slight 'bargees' from getting shocked. A computer operated camera could be fitted so that any person trying to get on a subway train or into a lift while the wearer is trying to get off/out would be issued with such an electric shock that they become completely disabled temporarily and lose complete control of their bowels. |
_________________
Quiet - Or Papa Spank. |
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findus
Veejay
Joined: Feb 03, 2004
Posts: 1829
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 02:44 PM |
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Testicle clamps fitted to driver's seats, directly linked to the car horn so that one beep equals one clench.
Auto-erecting popcorn dispensers that keep the chirpy onlookers satisfied by sensing when there are accident victims dying in the middle of the road and dispensing afore-mentioned popcorn, payed by the taxpayer for the taxpayer's ultimate pleasure knowing that they are once again better than someone else.
Aural implant that detects the incoming racket of a spit/girl-on-mobile/drill and converts the sound into more pleasing sounds. |
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Andreas
Board Royalty
Joined: Feb 27, 2004
Posts: 6413
Location: 31 N 121 E
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Dec 20, 2007 - 03:57 PM |
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Devices that convert lies and bullsh1t into electricity. After that we could tear down the Three Gorges Dam, and a few others. |
_________________
If it has tits, tires, or a transom, there's gonna be issues! |
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sbergman
Veejay
Joined: Sep 12, 2007
Posts: 2167
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 04:28 PM |
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This is even more fun than I thought it would be. I'm instituting the Better than Chopsticks Award for the best invention. Winners will receive a copy of "Fireworks Before Noon on Sunday: 5,000 Years of Chinese Inventions and How They've Been Used to Annoy Our Neighbors." |
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SirFiddler
Board Legend
Joined: Mar 30, 2004
Posts: 11445
Location: Very close to a bottle of chilled Boags
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Dec 20, 2007 - 04:45 PM |
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Chinglish-English and English-Chinglish versions of babelfish |
_________________
Beer...Soooo much more than just breakfast www.justbeer.cn |
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GeoffOz
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 28, 2005
Posts: 2778
Location: Lost in Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 04:53 PM |
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| SirFiddler wrote: |
| Chinglish-English and English-Chinglish versions of babelfish |
I need you over here Fidds!
hahahahahahaha... |
_________________
The secrets of this Earth are not for all to see, but only for those who will seek them... |
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SirFiddler
Board Legend
Joined: Mar 30, 2004
Posts: 11445
Location: Very close to a bottle of chilled Boags
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Dec 20, 2007 - 04:56 PM |
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getting exhausted of rolling all these joints ? |
_________________
Beer...Soooo much more than just breakfast www.justbeer.cn |
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GeoffOz
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 28, 2005
Posts: 2778
Location: Lost in Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 04:59 PM |
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| SirFiddler wrote: |
| getting exhausted of rolling all these joints ? |
But I also appreciate you for your mind, not just your hands... |
_________________
The secrets of this Earth are not for all to see, but only for those who will seek them... |
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MyNameIsPablo
StreetBeater
Joined: Sep 06, 2007
Posts: 2455
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 05:03 PM |
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His mind? Surely that left ages ago.
A trap door at the top and bottom of escalators that if a weight is upon it for too long will open and release the offender into a huge vat of liquidised shiit. |
_________________
Quiet - Or Papa Spank. |
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guel27
Board Royalty
Joined: Oct 10, 2005
Posts: 7470
Location: iwahig
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Dec 20, 2007 - 07:33 PM |
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A laser that will execute anyone who will not spit in the right place. |
_________________
umamin ka na kasi, halata naman e |
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DesertSpider
Post Roaster
Joined: Jan 19, 2007
Posts: 4417
Location: SHANGHAI, CHINA
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Dec 20, 2007 - 07:35 PM |
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A standardized language that isn't hieroglyphic - Egypt figured it out, what's the hold up here ?
http://www.quizland.com/hiero.htm |
_________________
| wrote: |
| I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. |
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SnappySammy
Board Legend
Joined: Nov 01, 2007
Posts: 10143
Status: Offline
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Dec 21, 2007 - 12:05 AM |
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Large breast |
_________________
Yank My Doodle It's A Dandy |
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guel27
Board Royalty
Joined: Oct 10, 2005
Posts: 7470
Location: iwahig
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Dec 21, 2007 - 09:21 AM |
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and butt |
_________________
umamin ka na kasi, halata naman e |
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DesertSpider
Post Roaster
Joined: Jan 19, 2007
Posts: 4417
Location: SHANGHAI, CHINA
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Dec 21, 2007 - 09:27 AM |
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Just one ? |
_________________
| wrote: |
| I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. |
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CoffeeHawk_0
Board Buddha
Joined: July 14, 2005
Posts: 14444
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Dec 21, 2007 - 09:28 AM |
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diesel powered chopsticks |
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guel27
Board Royalty
Joined: Oct 10, 2005
Posts: 7470
Location: iwahig
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| Posted:
Dec 21, 2007 - 10:28 AM |
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heavy duty heater |
_________________
umamin ka na kasi, halata naman e |
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