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findus
Veejay
Joined: Feb 03, 2004
Posts: 1829
Status: Offline
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Jan 17, 2008 - 01:50 PM |
 
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| Post subject: The man or the marriage? |
OK Chinese girlies, what's more important to you, the guy you marry or the marriage itself? Put another way, if you only have the option of: a) the dream guy, but no marriage, ever or b) an ok guy, with marriage; which would you take? |
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8lrr8
StreetBeater
Joined: Oct 14, 2004
Posts: 2344
Location: here!
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Jan 17, 2008 - 04:14 PM |
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i dont think there are enough single chinese women on this forum to make your poll results accurate. |
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findus
Veejay
Joined: Feb 03, 2004
Posts: 1829
Status: Offline
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Jan 17, 2008 - 04:48 PM |
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Blasphemy! But probably correct.
Just something I've noticed time and time again here, young Chinese girl friends getting married to dudes they don't love because they are in love with the idea of marriage (+parental/cultural pressure). Was wondering if my own stat results were off. |
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| wwzcsd wrote: |
| We have NO racialism in China. Racialism was born in western.Your culture produced it.In Chinese Culture,we dont discriminate any race and nation. |
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yu888
Board Deity
Joined: Jan 25, 2003
Posts: 18044
Location: ZhongShanParkArea SH
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Jan 17, 2008 - 05:32 PM |
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uh yeah...asking on an expat forum probably gives you a really SMALL very SKEWED sampling. A young expat i knew once made an observation to me saying that, he liked the girls that didnt speak english because in his experience many of the "English speaking chinese girls had an overstated self sense of worth." While I criticised him then for such a generalization, i am saddened by how many gals actually match that comment. |
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Thoughts & updates about Shanghai On my Blog for more details:Random Thoughts about Living in Shanghai...and more |
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lemongrass
StreetBeater
Joined: Jan 15, 2005
Posts: 2324
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Jan 17, 2008 - 06:10 PM |
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| yu888 wrote: |
| uh yeah...asking on an expat forum probably gives you a really SMALL very SKEWED sampling. A young expat i knew once made an observation to me saying that, he liked the girls that didnt speak english because in his experience many of the "English speaking chinese girls had an overstated self sense of worth." While I criticised him then for such a generalization, i am saddened by how many gals actually match that comment. |
mwahahhaha...that sounds like me no doubt! |
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Missing home! |
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sbergman
Veejay
Joined: Sep 12, 2007
Posts: 2167
Status: Online!
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Jan 17, 2008 - 10:25 PM |
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"All too clearly it dawns upon them that they want one man to buy them presents for life. They want to marry. Their instinct is right!... In Chinese eyes the great sin of Western society is the large number of unmarried women, who, through no fault of their own accept the foolish belief in such a real being as Prince Charming."
It's quite amazing how many answers to ShEx questions are in My Country and My People, especially considering that Lin Yutang published it in 1930. |
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beautiful_mind0905
Board Lord
Joined: June 18, 2006
Posts: 5647
Status: Offline
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Jan 20, 2008 - 06:33 PM |
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I don't think that one has an overstated sense of self worth if one is confident and know what you are capable of... |
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Women are the ones who maintain the world while men throw it into disarray with their historic brutality. |
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ChicoStateDisciple
Reacher
Joined: Jan 16, 2008
Posts: 359
Location: 3:17 AM
Status: Offline
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Jan 20, 2008 - 08:01 PM |
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Confidence can be a flaw when it leads to assumptions.
"The only thing I know is that I know nothing." - Socrates
I feel this survey is mostly flawed because, for a girl, what type of dream guy would not get married. By most girls definition he would not be a dream guy if they did not get married. This, in my opinion, is a self serving survey, because it forces the responder to lie and/or look like a BIT...
Third, if you really have that much trouble with girls, try to lie. |
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TheMasterofDisaster
SuperStar
Joined: Aug 31, 2007
Posts: 1355
Status: Offline
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Jan 20, 2008 - 08:32 PM |
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all girls here r white-cock hunting languge rapist hoes, y else r they here ( note they congregate in dating section)
how many girls in UK go onto a chinese language website looking 4 cock? |
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ChicoStateDisciple
Reacher
Joined: Jan 16, 2008
Posts: 359
Location: 3:17 AM
Status: Offline
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Jan 21, 2008 - 08:45 PM |
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| TheMasterofDisaster wrote: |
all girls here r white-cock hunting languge rapist hoes, y else r they here ( note they congregate in dating section)
how many girls in UK go onto a chinese language website looking 4 cock? |
your pathetic |
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adiuscha
Talker
Joined: Sep 20, 2007
Posts: 104
Location: shanghai
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Jan 21, 2008 - 11:33 PM |
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oops, sorry, didn't read until after voting that only chinese girls supposed to do it!  |
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sanjj
Reacher
Joined: Nov 01, 2007
Posts: 287
Location: Vancouver/Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Jan 22, 2008 - 12:21 PM |
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Why can't you be with your dream guy and not get married? Common-law doesn't work in Shanghai?
There is always a way to solve the committment problem without breaking the relationship. What do you think? |
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ChicoStateDisciple
Reacher
Joined: Jan 16, 2008
Posts: 359
Location: 3:17 AM
Status: Offline
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Jan 22, 2008 - 08:44 PM |
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Well, do you want to get married? If you do then your dream guy/ perfect guy would too. Why? Because if you want to and the guy doesn't then how could he be the dream/perfect guy. He would be more perfect/dreamy if he wanted to get married then if he did not.
Now, I don't know much about love but I am guessing there is allot of compromise and it is more qualitative then quantitative. There for preforming a poll is not possible because an innate condition of poll out comes is they are quantitative.
This poll, like most polls, is too simple to derive an actual answer. |
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adiuscha
Talker
Joined: Sep 20, 2007
Posts: 104
Location: shanghai
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Jan 22, 2008 - 09:00 PM |
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findus
Veejay
Joined: Feb 03, 2004
Posts: 1829
Status: Offline
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Jan 22, 2008 - 10:12 PM |
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The question obviously requires the need to seperate the question of whether a guy can be a dream guy if he doesn't want marriage. I'm talking about a pure personality/connection/compatibility/etc thing when I'm talking about 'dream guy'. |
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| wwzcsd wrote: |
| We have NO racialism in China. Racialism was born in western.Your culture produced it.In Chinese Culture,we dont discriminate any race and nation. |
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adiuscha
Talker
Joined: Sep 20, 2007
Posts: 104
Location: shanghai
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Jan 23, 2008 - 12:51 AM |
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My next question relies on the "marriage=woman power over man vs. sex=man power over woman" thesis:
Which is more important, the woman or sex?
Woman is more important (i.e dream girl, but no sex)
Sex is more important (i.e. ok girl, and have sex)
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findus
Veejay
Joined: Feb 03, 2004
Posts: 1829
Status: Offline
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Jan 23, 2008 - 02:10 AM |
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Dream girl and no sex. My dream girl would be fine with me having my sexual needs tended to by other women. |
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| wwzcsd wrote: |
| We have NO racialism in China. Racialism was born in western.Your culture produced it.In Chinese Culture,we dont discriminate any race and nation. |
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Nathalie25
Board Legend
Joined: Aug 24, 2004
Posts: 10387
Location: Shanghai
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Jan 23, 2008 - 05:12 AM |
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| Post subject: Re: The man or the marriage? |
| findus wrote: |
| OK Chinese girlies, what's more important to you, the guy you marry or the marriage itself? Put another way, if you only have the option of: a) the dream guy, but no marriage, ever or b) an ok guy, with marriage; which would you take? |
man is more important,marriage i cannot control it, so i quit, i never touch the thing/people which i never can foretell it~~~~ |
_________________
功高盖主，必有祸出。人生是人类生命中内心和万般经历的真实写照。 http:/ |
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BoardBiatch
Talker
Joined: Jan 23, 2008
Posts: 119
Status: Offline
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Jan 23, 2008 - 04:24 PM |
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there are some things on a man you can touch and you can easily foretell what will happen next! |
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get out of the damn way! |
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Nathalie25
Board Legend
Joined: Aug 24, 2004
Posts: 10387
Location: Shanghai
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Jan 23, 2008 - 06:25 PM |
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how? I didn't learn it, man( hey, are you that cat's shadow)?????? |
_________________
功高盖主，必有祸出。人生是人类生命中内心和万般经历的真实写照。 http:/ |
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adiuscha
Talker
Joined: Sep 20, 2007
Posts: 104
Location: shanghai
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Jan 23, 2008 - 10:59 PM |
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| findus wrote: |
| Dream girl and no sex. My dream girl would be fine with me having my sexual needs tended to by other women. |
Ok, i guess you don't mind when a married woman keeps looking out for mr. right then.
If we take that as a rule, every married woman can have a perfect boyfriend too. That means the woman is also the perfect girl for the boyfriend. They don't have sex together, but he is allowed to sleep with other women, who are not his ideal woman. So everybody wins! |
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findus
Veejay
Joined: Feb 03, 2004
Posts: 1829
Status: Offline
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Jan 23, 2008 - 11:54 PM |
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Perfect! 
Was talking about this the other day, what is it that makes 'marriage' as we know it more or less the only paradigm for advanced male/female relationships? Is it just religion? Or lack of imagination? Or more to do with a biological imperitive?.... Where are our other paradigms, and why aren't they as widespread as 1-1 til-death-do-us-part marriage? |
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adiuscha
Talker
Joined: Sep 20, 2007
Posts: 104
Location: shanghai
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Jan 24, 2008 - 01:23 AM |
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Alot of examples can be given in the animal world. Yes, I am evolutionist when it comes to it, males and females bond for live when the chances of their offspring to survive are bigger, but of course there are exceptions.
I know that I want to have kids and i don't want them to grow up as bastards, I want them to grow up and decide for themselves if they want to be it. I want my kids to have a male role model, because i don't want my daughter to end up with a 40 years older sugardaddy and my son to leave his pregnant girlfirend behind, because his daddy did it.
There must be a vital reason for this 1-1 til death-do-us-part thing, overwise it wouldn't be so marginal as polygamy. |
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Nathalie25
Board Legend
Joined: Aug 24, 2004
Posts: 10387
Location: Shanghai
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Jan 24, 2008 - 06:22 AM |
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| adiuscha wrote: |
| findus wrote: |
| Dream girl and no sex. My dream girl would be fine with me having my sexual needs tended to by other women. |
Ok, i guess you don't mind when a married woman keeps looking out for mr. right then.
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I am a loser, cause i am not a married woman,lol~~~~~~~ |
_________________
功高盖主，必有祸出。人生是人类生命中内心和万般经历的真实写照。 http:/ |
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ChicoStateDisciple
Reacher
Joined: Jan 16, 2008
Posts: 359
Location: 3:17 AM
Status: Offline
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Jan 24, 2008 - 09:39 PM |
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| findus wrote: |
| Dream girl and no sex. My dream girl would be fine with me having my sexual needs tended to by other women. |
I never thought of it that way. I was going to vote for the sex but you have enlightened me. This is now a requirement to date me. |
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Conceived in London, Born in Germany and 100% American from Day 1 |
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