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maneo
LoopKicker
Joined: May 12, 2007
Posts: 849
Location: neither here nor there
Status: Offline
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Apr 26, 2008 - 10:12 PM |
 
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Is that "Plan two?" or [you] plan to, you think? |
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woaihuan
StreetBeater
Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 2437
Status: Offline
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Apr 26, 2008 - 11:08 PM |
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No "Plan two".
No need for you to just pop in and question my judgment in this case. |
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angelgirl
Reacher
Joined: Aug 22, 2007
Posts: 289
Status: Offline
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Apr 26, 2008 - 11:28 PM |
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| woaihuan wrote: |
We'd been together for a couple years and we had plans to get married in the near future. |
So you were then, what, 13-14? And she was 23-24? Interesting... Not my cup of tea, that's for sure. And by "being together" you mean chatting online? Is it enough for getting married these days??
Anyway, sounds like you are very determined and mature for your age (but still, so young!!) so if you and Huan are really in love (it's different to infatuation, you know that, right?), good luck to you both! A weird situation but hope it works out. Living with parents sucks though and creates a lot of unnecessary tension.
PS I agree with Yu, nothing beats experience... |
_________________
Je vole vraiment |
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angelgirl
Reacher
Joined: Aug 22, 2007
Posts: 289
Status: Offline
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Apr 26, 2008 - 11:28 PM |
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And where are the promised photos?  |
_________________
Je vole vraiment |
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woaihuan
StreetBeater
Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 2437
Status: Offline
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Apr 27, 2008 - 04:38 AM |
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Photos at a later date. :[
We've lived together a few months before getting married. I didn't simply hop off a plane and into a wedding chapel.
During the time I've spent in Shanghai this time, her close cousin dated and married a guy before we got married, so, chatting online or not, we spent more time together than many.
Odd thought, but now that I think about it, I still don't think those two are living together yet. |
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dr3x320
LoopKicker
Joined: Nov 21, 2006
Posts: 884
Location: Boston/NYC/Zhang Hai/Goteborg
Status: Offline
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Apr 27, 2008 - 06:34 AM |
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Not even reading the last post on the first page, or the other 10 pages, think one of the main factors is, culture, current situation (financial/social) of a foreigner marrying a Chinese girl, and the ultimate factor, FACE. A Chinese born overseas is a bit better, but nonetheless they have their reasons, its fact and won't change. I'm dating a Shanghainese as well, and I can sense some differences and conflicts, but not on the level as being a Non-Chinese foreigner. They however require alot of face.
For instance, I have a 2BR apt in Pudong, in the Shimao area, very nice, good schools, quiet, clean, they live 10min from Jing'an Temple/Beijing Xi Lu, where they run their businesses, they mentioned that I should sell my Pudong house, and buy a house in Puxi, preferably near them, which is about 6-8m, also I heard from her mother that their daughter has mentioned to a few of her friends "Yes I'm dating an ABC, but he doesn't have a place to live in Shanghai!", which is odd b/c i have 5, all in Pudong, how unfortunate for me or for them?.
Knowing they are above my class, and moving to China from the US, I have to basically start from scratch, moving to another country, obtaining a job, and being financially set, not to mention the cultural differences such as, being married, the husband gives an x% of allowance to the wife, which means, she makes triple digits a month, where I will be making double digits, typical Shanghainese after paying bills, groceries, etc, the rest should be typically go into "savings" as a Non-Chinese way, but following tradition, I would have to give up my "savings" and give all the cash to the wife. I feel your pain, not most of it but some of it.
You need to build face, I hope to god you didn't tell them your staying w/ their family b/c they have the cars, a nice pad, motorcycles. It is hell for local couples to live with their spouse's family, let alone a foreigner, looks like you threw yourself into a sinking boat. Plug it up, grow a pair, straight thuggin baby.
Ironic, welcome to China, hustle or be hustled?, you decide.
Al Sharpton for President. |
_________________
Dermatologist / Official Expo 2010 Tickets / Air Tickets and Tours |
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woaihuan
StreetBeater
Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 2437
Status: Offline
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Apr 27, 2008 - 06:54 AM |
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| dr3x320 wrote: |
| For instance, I have a 2BR apt in Pudong, in the Shimao area, very nice, good schools, quiet, clean, they live 10min from Jing'an Temple/Beijing Xi Lu, where they run their businesses, they mentioned that I should sell my Pudong house, and buy a house in Puxi, preferably near them, which is about 6-8m, also I heard from her mother that their daughter has mentioned to a few of her friends "Yes I'm dating an ABC, but he doesn't have a place to live in Shanghai!", which is odd b/c i have 5, all in Pudong, how unfortunate for me or for them?. |
You're one rich guy, and they're even richer. Can never be good enough, eh? Haha.
| dr3x320 wrote: |
| Knowing they are above my class, and moving to China from the US, I have to basically start from scratch, moving to another country, obtaining a job, and being financially set, not to mention the cultural differences such as, being married, the husband gives an x% of allowance to the wife, which means, she makes triple digits a month, where I will be making double digits, typical Shanghainese after paying bills, groceries, etc, the rest should be typically go into "savings" as a Non-Chinese way, but following tradition, I would have to give up my "savings" and give all the cash to the wife. I feel your pain, not most of it but some of it. |
This isn't normal at all... from what I've seen savings are part of being Chinese, basically. But then again, most Chinese are in a class a lot different from the ones you talk about and they need to save for the unexpected - like medical bills, etc.
| dr3x320 wrote: |
You need to build face, I hope to god you didn't tell them your staying w/ their family b/c they have the cars, a nice pad, motorcycles.
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I'm honestly not. Even with all that I still said no no no. Unfortunately I was only being asked as a courtesy - the decision was made. The above reasons are just how I rationalize it in my own mind.
More than anything, what they don't like is my age, but fortunately they seem to have got over it. They're OK with me now - although they don't like my cat. 
Good luck with the girlfriend's family... it honestly doesn't sound good, though. To me it sounds like they have too much money and it got to them... they no longer, or never did, know what a normal life is like. |
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Pegasus333
Barker
Joined: June 15, 2006
Posts: 142
Status: Offline
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Apr 27, 2008 - 10:43 AM |
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Giving parents money even though they are not living with the parents IS Chinese Custom. Getting a man to live in with the daughter is definitely NOT Chinese Custom. You have got these two mixed up. No wonder they hate you. |
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TheMasterofDisaster
SuperStar
Joined: Aug 31, 2007
Posts: 1355
Status: Offline
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Apr 28, 2008 - 04:31 PM |
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this thread rox n so does the dude. wot a head! picking up some craddle snatching chinese ho at 13, attaboy!
dont listen to the detractors . i was a pot-head, got expelled for selling / smoking dope . processed more acid than ICI. i now live in the best residence in china, get paid to do nothing ever, well
hell im gonna read all 9 pages |
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ash96
Low Seater
Joined: Dec 30, 2005
Posts: 3378
Location: Gubei, Rong Hua West Avenue
Status: Offline
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Apr 28, 2008 - 04:42 PM |
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live the way they like it....if you can't change it, leave it.
well, if they don't like you...you might want to try something that make them like you. Else, bear with it until the 'mountain' explode and get the h*ll out of there...
honestly speaking, it's a 'two-person-world'. So, these kind of parents shouldn't be in the picture. talk to your gal, sort things out with your wifey.
if nothing can be done....leave it! Live a life~ |
_________________
The Sweet aSh® Tree ---> Malaysian / Singaporean Expats |
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TheMasterofDisaster
SuperStar
Joined: Aug 31, 2007
Posts: 1355
Status: Offline
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Apr 28, 2008 - 05:21 PM |
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woaihuan, troop, good on u man. i wish i'd left and come to china as a teen.
where r all the pc hypocrites saying all paedophiles should be hung? i can only presume they r both sexist and racist..........
but u should understand, 99% or more of chinese women r basically hookers. they want cash 4 the gash.
and when "old dogs dont learn new tricks" time comes she will be pimping her daughter for as much cash as poss, just like she was.
make a papier mache mold of ur cocqk in 100rmb notes. they will quit griping.
nail her a few more years then about 30 she will get tiresome. divorce, chinese court will give u a good percent and u made a tidy profit.
probably what the diaper-sniping net ho was trying with u
NOw THATS advice........ |
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Doni
Newbie
Joined: July 24, 2008
Posts: 4
Status: Offline
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July 24, 2008 - 11:44 AM |
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WHy dont you teach english since u are from canada? like this, when u get some money, you give her parents couple of hundreds and they will be so happy. CHinese parents will be happy even if u give them 200 rmb, it shows that u are trying. If you want to teach english let me know, u can teach part time and full time, if u are studing only chinese, then since u are in china, u will pick up the language anyway. but what u need right now is a job and money
d |
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puhlease
Barker
Joined: July 23, 2008
Posts: 125
Status: Offline
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July 24, 2008 - 12:18 PM |
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Get a job you lazy bludger. |
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beautiful_mind0905
Board Lord
Joined: June 18, 2006
Posts: 5780
Status: Offline
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July 24, 2008 - 05:15 PM |
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Out of curiosity, how old are you and your wife?
Also, do you have a bright future ahead? |
_________________
Women are the ones who maintain the world while men throw it into disarray with their historic brutality. |
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rayne
Raver
Joined: May 19, 2008
Posts: 476
Location: Shanghai
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July 24, 2008 - 05:49 PM |
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Where ARE the pictures of you and your wife getting married in Hong Kong? |
_________________
女的也可以自己解决住房的么。为何一定要让男性承担 |
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kikibroom
Lurker
Joined: July 24, 2008
Posts: 21
Status: Offline
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July 25, 2008 - 01:49 AM |
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This is really interesting to see you guys discussing the problem. Family problems never were easy and would be solved easily - because they are typical Chinese thing and complex and time-consuming and drive you mad. From what I read, the girl's family is not really hating you rather, are not satisfied because you don't "match" the girl. hehe |
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jan86
Seeker
Joined: Jan 20, 2008
Posts: 62
Status: Offline
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July 25, 2008 - 03:34 PM |
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I just wanted to say thank you! Best entertainment ever.
Good luck |
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