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Living with wife's family. No English. No job. They hate me.

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Shanghai Expat Forum Index » Hot Topics Forums » Dating Singles, and Relationships

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dfoo

Post Roaster

Joined: Jan 19, 2005
Posts: 4693

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 06:38 PM

This thread is such BS.

How can you be legal? A male has to be 23 to legally marry in China.

bjandmegsabroad

Raver

Joined: Mar 17, 2006
Posts: 464

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 06:43 PM

Parents are smarter than you think........ they probably know all about your history......especially if you're the talk of their neighbourhood, there's got to be more than a few people googling your name! I say abandon ship! I AM curious about how you managed to come to Shanghai without any savings to spend on accommodations, or why you would do so knowing that you'd have to live with her parents who hate you.......

woaihuan

StreetBeater

Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 2462

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 06:49 PM

The parents have never and probably will never use a computer.

And how can I be legal?

In Canada I am of age to be married, also in Hong Kong, where the marriage was preformed. With consent of a parent or the court. (in this case, my mother)

woaihuan

StreetBeater

Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 2462

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 06:51 PM

Also, none of her family (except the youngest) can read any English, so Googling my name is useless.

And what's with asking me if she's pregnant? Assuming our marriage is based on an accidentally pregnancy.

bjandmegsabroad

Raver

Joined: Mar 17, 2006
Posts: 464

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 06:52 PM

They have a house, car, motorcycles but no computer or knowledge of how to use one? ok..........um......... hard to believe........ not saying you're LYING, but um......... hard to believe.......

Gazza

Raver

Joined: Jan 10, 2008
Posts: 477
Location: The Tokyo Slums
Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 06:55 PM

Move out. The parents will make you hate your wife and ruin your relationship.

woaihuan

StreetBeater

Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 2462

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 06:56 PM

They're uneducated.

Years back the father worked at a car dealership and they had the house built. They have since retired, but have started work again to pay the bills, since you can't buy as much with a Yuan now as when they retired.

Their jobs pay a combined total of 1500rmb monthly.

bjandmegsabroad

Raver

Joined: Mar 17, 2006
Posts: 464

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 06:56 PM

Not assuming ANYTHING here....... your situation just leaves me wondering, and curious. Also, please note that earlier you mentioned that her family informed her neighbours and relatives that you were moving in..... News travels fast, and people get curious (I sure do), so don't be surprised if a friend of the family, neighbour, cousin, etc. brought information like this to their attention.

woaihuan

StreetBeater

Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 2462

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 06:58 PM

Gazza wrote:

Move out. The parents will make you hate your wife and ruin your relationship.

Divorce is one of the biggest shames that can be brought to their family.

They would not have agreed to the marriage unless they knew they were going to have it work.

bjandmegsabroad

Raver

Joined: Mar 17, 2006
Posts: 464

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 07:00 PM

They're retired and have jobs? They must not be getting any welfare from the gov't......

Swiss-James

Post Roaster

Joined: Jan 05, 2007
Posts: 4360

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 07:02 PM

this thread is fantastic

_________________
ISpy: Shanghai blog ||

8lrr8
Wonder Wit

Joined: Oct 14, 2004
Posts: 3745

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 07:02 PM

bjandmegsabroad wrote:

They have a house, car, motorcycles but no computer or knowledge of how to use one? ok..........um......... hard to believe........ not saying you're LYING, but um......... hard to believe.......

this is china. not that hard to believe.

Last edited by 8lrr8 on Mar 10, 2008 - 07:04 PM; edited 1 time in total

bjandmegsabroad

Raver

Joined: Mar 17, 2006
Posts: 464

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 07:03 PM

I agree James, thread of the month! I haven't had this much fun since Snappy and Underh20 had to get paternity tests to see who would pay Sienna's child support!

8lrr8
Wonder Wit

Joined: Oct 14, 2004
Posts: 3745

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 07:04 PM

woaihuan wrote:

[Has anyone else done it?

um, no. none of us are that stupid. then again, none of us are 17 and married, so...

Swiss-James

Post Roaster

Joined: Jan 05, 2007
Posts: 4360

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 07:07 PM

16 right? And met his wife three years ago online.

What's the chinese word for grooming?

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woaihuan

StreetBeater

Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 2462

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 07:10 PM

Yeah, 16. 17 in lunar years, I'm told.

If someone picks up this story, it's not a big deal at all. All it mentions is that I protested for freedom of speech. Everyone loves freedom.

At best, the family will have me assure them that I will stay under the radar and not go to prison.

woaihuan

StreetBeater

Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 2462

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 07:11 PM

Gazza

Raver

Joined: Jan 10, 2008
Posts: 477
Location: The Tokyo Slums
Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 07:13 PM

woaihuan wrote:

Gazza wrote:

Move out. The parents will make you hate your wife and ruin your relationship.

Divorce is one of the biggest shames that can be brought to their family.

They would not have agreed to the marriage unless they knew they were going to have it work.

They may want it to work but that doesn't necessarily mean that they're not going to cause problems. Chinese parents are very domineering and their children often feel obliged to do what they're told, even if they are themselves married. I have had many an argument with my girlfriend because she has taken her parent's advice over mine (advice that she herself does not agree with.)

bjandmegsabroad

Raver

Joined: Mar 17, 2006
Posts: 464

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 07:15 PM

I disagree, I think for them it WOULD be a big deal, especially if they are as uneducated as you say. Their friends/family/someone tells them that you were in the newspaper in Canada for PROTESTING (not something to be taken lightly in China) with reference to DRUGS...... I don't see them taking this lightly.

dfoo

Post Roaster

Joined: Jan 19, 2005
Posts: 4693

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 07:17 PM

Hook
line
and
sinker.

Jacaranda

Lurker

Joined: June 22, 2006
Posts: 37

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 07:23 PM

Maybe we are too hard on the kid...maybe he's the victim in all this. He's now 16 and his "wife" is 25. If he and his "wife" met three years ago on-line, then I can think of a few words to describe his "wife"... such as cradle robber and paedophile.

bjandmegsabroad

Raver

Joined: Mar 17, 2006
Posts: 464

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 07:42 PM

Staying under the radar..... check out his posting history......

"And if you in fact discover a supplier of reasonably priced magic mushrooms, please send me a message so that I can meet with them for... the purpose of research"

"Your hashish guy may also have heroin, but it's not nearly as popular and you have to ask for it."

"drugs are easy to get. Although the 500rmb price tag may deter them from experimenting, unless a friend has it."

"I've been wondering all of tonight what it would be like to get high with a cat."

and so on........ Did you move to China to avoid the drug testing you volunteered for?

Lordlunchalot

SuperStar

Joined: Apr 23, 2007
Posts: 1593

Status: Offline

Posted: Mar 10, 2008 - 07:47 PM

haha, I just did the same search, and was about to put it all up. Combined with the link to news article, staying under the radar is not really an option anymore.