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NewJansen
Squeeker
Joined: Apr 19, 2008
Posts: 19
Status: Offline
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May 07, 2008 - 09:20 AM |
 
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| Post subject: Question Cliche |
Here is the most cliche one, yet still confusing so many of my gfs: How to react when your ex approache you again, asking to be "just friendly" with each other? Any comment will be interesting to hear, negative or positive. Tks. |
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gapyearkid
Talker
Joined: Mar 06, 2008
Posts: 110
Status: Offline
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May 07, 2008 - 10:46 AM |
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if your ex comes up to you again asking to be ur friend, chances are he still has feelings for you, and has decided it'd be better to just be friends with you rather than to lose you completely... |
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Juan_Tamad
Board Royalty
Joined: Jan 29, 2007
Posts: 7332
Location: Smoky Mountain
Status: Offline
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May 07, 2008 - 11:05 AM |
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Touche' |
_________________
ERAP for President!!!! |
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Nathalie25
Board Legend
Joined: Aug 24, 2004
Posts: 10385
Location: Shanghai
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May 07, 2008 - 11:14 AM |
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| Post subject: Re: Question Cliche |
| NewJansen wrote: |
| Here is the most cliche one, yet still confusing so many of my gfs: How to react when your ex approache you again, asking to be "just friendly" with each other? Any comment will be interesting to hear, negative or positive. Tks. |
once your boy friend or girl friend it is gone or separated, then it will be gone forever, no more friendship or relationship it can be refreshed in life, no matter it is present or the futures,yeah,over~~~~~~~~~~ |
_________________
功高盖主，必有祸出。人生是人类生命中内心和万般经历的真实写照。 http:/ |
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Nathalie25
Board Legend
Joined: Aug 24, 2004
Posts: 10385
Location: Shanghai
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May 07, 2008 - 11:16 AM |
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好马不吃回头草( |
_________________
功高盖主，必有祸出。人生是人类生命中内心和万般经历的真实写照。 http:/ |
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oh_the_darkness
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 17, 2008
Posts: 2528
Status: Offline
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May 07, 2008 - 12:23 PM |
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Actually, Nutalie, it's only common for Chinese people to lose all contact with ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends. All ties are cut and never retied. I've asked many Chinese about this and they all tell me the same.
In civilised western countries it is very common for people to keep in touch after splitting up and remaining good friends. |
_________________
And you may ask yourself Am I right? ...am I wrong? And you may tell yourself My god!...what have I done? |
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Diomed
Reacher
Joined: Jan 30, 2008
Posts: 273
Status: Offline
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May 07, 2008 - 01:11 PM |
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| oh_the_darkness wrote: |
Actually, Nutalie, it's only common for Chinese people to lose all contact with ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends. All ties are cut and never retied. I've asked many Chinese about this and they all tell me the same.
In civilised western countries it is very common for people to keep in touch after splitting up and remaining good friends. |
for real? |
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bus3
PopStar
Joined: July 25, 2004
Posts: 1016
Location: Here and there
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May 07, 2008 - 01:29 PM |
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footballshanghai
Reacher
Joined: Mar 01, 2005
Posts: 237
Status: Offline
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May 07, 2008 - 03:45 PM |
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Not surprised Nat came out with another lost opinion, Must be the face issue again with the Chinese..
Fortunately I still get on great with lot's of my ex's.. and many of my conquests hehehe.
Why shouldn't you remain friends, you've shared each others company.. made memories.. why just cut it all out?
The only problem I've encountered with this is when the new GF can't understand why you're still friends with old ones.. then again she was Chinese so hardly surprising. |
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TaiShan
Seeker
Joined: Apr 13, 2006
Posts: 50
Status: Offline
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May 08, 2008 - 10:39 AM |
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| Nathalie25 wrote: |
| 好马不吃回头草( |
that's about the most amount of sense you have ever made! well done, stick to the chinese typing/idioms and you'll be fine.
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it all depends on the nature of the relationship. sometimes it's too painful to let go for both parties. especially a relationship that ends because of circumstance and not because of lack of love/passion or broken trust issues. |
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i want money, ah ohoh, that |
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PG-30
Reacher
Joined: Mar 22, 2008
Posts: 345
Status: Offline
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May 08, 2008 - 12:05 PM |
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i have to admit that chinese can be hypocritical sometimes. of course they say so when you guys ask them(especially girls).
first of all, it obeys the chinese traditional virtue that a woman can only have one man in one life. but it doesnt matter to guys so much. i keep in touch with my exs, and a lot of my friends do too. if you dont call those girls, they will never call you. but if you did, they would like to be friends with you.
secondly, most chinese(asian) are shy and not outgoing, compare with western ppl. if you are not their close friends, its difficult to let them tell you this kinda private affairs (when they are not drunk).
according to my experience, most girls would be fine to keep in touch(even physically) with their exs, but guys need to insist on it. you should know chinese girls better, when they say 'hell no' they actually mean 'pls try harder' |
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chazha
Seeker
Joined: Apr 04, 2008
Posts: 58
Location: London
Status: Offline
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May 09, 2008 - 05:57 AM |
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Ill say go ALL IN. |
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逍遥自在 |
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NewJansen
Squeeker
Joined: Apr 19, 2008
Posts: 19
Status: Offline
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May 09, 2008 - 11:04 AM |
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Well I agree that it is better to keep in touch with ones ex, afterall, you have once been together, that means at least you liked each other. But there is something funny here. If you two keep as friends, that means you only communicate on the spiritual lever; if you even keep the physical relationship, it is very likely that you two will go back into the old thing, sleeping together, fighting, getting pissed and hurting each other again. However, as many people have the common believe, there is no real friendship between men and women, especially not the ones that had shared the same bed. So frankly, I don't think this "let's just be good friends" thing will work. There is always one side, or maybe both sides, that is looking for more. And this will mess up the whole thing. |
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sbergman
StreetBeater
Joined: Sep 12, 2007
Posts: 2445
Status: Offline
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May 09, 2008 - 11:49 AM |
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| there is no real friendship between men and women, especially not the ones that had shared the same bed |
I totally and completely disagree. As others have said, if someone is compatible enough with you to become lovers than they certainly should be good enough to be friends. I think the problems arise when either one person moves on and the other doesn't or the new BF/GF can't deal with it. Otherwise, it's completely possible to say that while it was fun, it wasn't forever, but let's still be friends. I think this is much easier for those of us who grew up in societies where close male-female friendships are common and the opposite sex isn't viewed as so mysterious. |
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NewJansen
Squeeker
Joined: Apr 19, 2008
Posts: 19
Status: Offline
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May 09, 2008 - 12:06 PM |
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[quote="sbergman"]
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| there is no real friendship between men and women, especially not the ones that had shared the same bed |
I heard there was a survey long time ago, somewhere in Europe. It is about "Do you like the person that you love?" It shows that not everyone actually likes the person he/she loves. Maybe this survey can tell part of the story. |
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sbergman
StreetBeater
Joined: Sep 12, 2007
Posts: 2445
Status: Offline
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May 09, 2008 - 12:22 PM |
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That assumes that you have to "love" someone to become physically involved. Friends with privileges, as they say. |
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Nathalie25
Board Legend
Joined: Aug 24, 2004
Posts: 10385
Location: Shanghai
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May 12, 2008 - 10:45 AM |
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| TaiShan wrote: |
| Nathalie25 wrote: |
| 好马不吃回头草( |
that's about the most amount of sense you have ever made! well done, stick to the chinese typing/idioms and you'll be fine.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
it all depends on the nature of the relationship. sometimes it's too painful to let go for both parties. especially a relationship that ends because of circumstance and not because of lack of love/passion or broken trust issues. |
I am single, not mingle~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
_________________
功高盖主，必有祸出。人生是人类生命中内心和万般经历的真实写照。 http:/ |
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SnappySammy
Board Buddha
Joined: Nov 01, 2007
Posts: 15081
Status: Offline
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May 26, 2008 - 12:08 AM |
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| sbergman wrote: |
| Quote: |
| there is no real friendship between men and women, especially not the ones that had shared the same bed |
I totally and completely disagree. As others have said, if someone is compatible enough with you to become lovers than they certainly should be good enough to be friends. I think the problems arise when either one person moves on and the other doesn't or the new BF/GF can't deal with it. Otherwise, it's completely possible to say that while it was fun, it wasn't forever, but let's still be friends. I think this is much easier for those of us who grew up in societies where close male-female friendships are common and the opposite sex isn't viewed as so mysterious. |
I THINK MOST MEN WOULD LIKE TO BE FCUK BUDDIES MORE THEN FRIENDS. PERSONALLY SPEAKING I WOULD LIKE TO BE FRIENDS WITH ALL MY EX LOVERS. WELL MOST OF THEM. NOT THE ONES I MET AFTER 2AM IN A CLUB SOMEWHERE.THEY USUALLY DON'T LOOK SO GOOD IN THE DAYLIGHT. WHY IS THAT |
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Yank My Doodle It's A Dandy |
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Nathalie25
Board Legend
Joined: Aug 24, 2004
Posts: 10385
Location: Shanghai
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May 30, 2008 - 10:01 AM |
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I never make troubles for self if I know something it never can be fixed ~~~~~~~~~ |
_________________
功高盖主，必有祸出。人生是人类生命中内心和万般经历的真实写照。 http:/ |
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julianna
Reacher
Joined: Mar 02, 2008
Posts: 225
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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May 30, 2008 - 05:07 PM |
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I’m still keep in touch with my ex Chinese bfs and my Western bfs. I think there is not a problem for a couple to keep the friendship after they broken-up if none of them ever cheated each other. |
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Rachelfriend
Reacher
Joined: Feb 27, 2007
Posts: 226
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
June 01, 2008 - 11:15 PM |
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| Post subject: Re: Question Cliche |
| NewJansen wrote: |
| Here is the most cliche one, yet still confusing so many of my gfs: How to react when your ex approache you again, asking to be "just friendly" with each other? Any comment will be interesting to hear, negative or positive. Tks. |
You sounds a bit not adorable. But be honest, no friends after relation broke up. If you guys already splited, then no need still be friends. Personally, I hate to be friend with any other ex bf. Maybe that's also the way for escaping horrible memories or try to get a new start for a totally different life. Again, No friends! Even you don't need to talk with them on msn or email or phone. That's good for you to enjoy yourself. |
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ROKOKO
Talker
Joined: Aug 29, 2007
Posts: 86
Status: Offline
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June 03, 2008 - 09:17 PM |
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She still wants to know everything about you, like if you got new gf |
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amimi
Reacher
Joined: Sep 08, 2007
Posts: 248
Location: Bloody SH
Status: Offline
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June 04, 2008 - 07:15 AM |
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For real?
~~Special Friend~~ |
_________________
Finally B A C K? huh? Postcard...Mug...Versace T-shirt...Cross with Jesus...Opppssss~ |
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Nathalie25
Board Legend
Joined: Aug 24, 2004
Posts: 10385
Location: Shanghai
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June 04, 2008 - 10:10 AM |
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good movement~~~~ |
_________________
功高盖主，必有祸出。人生是人类生命中内心和万般经历的真实写照。 http:/ |
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Bubblegum
Newbie
Joined: May 30, 2008
Posts: 4
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
June 18, 2008 - 12:11 AM |
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| julianna wrote: |
| I’m still keep in touch with my ex Chinese bfs and my Western bfs. I think there is not a problem for a couple to keep the friendship after they broken-up if none of them ever cheated each other. |
Good point, when thing end too ugly..I dont want to keep in touch.
Forgive but not forget.
I delete one of my ex msn while still contact another.It's case by case  |
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