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Goosie
Board Grand Dame
Joined: July 16, 2003
Posts: 5492
Location: Singapore
Status: Offline
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 Posted:
May 30, 2008 - 02:48 PM |
 
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| Post subject: . . . and so it goes . . . |
My sister-in-law, who lives in the U.K. just received a “Dear Jane” (as opposed to “Dear John”) message from her husband of 25 years, who has been posted in S.E. Asia (country to remain unnamed for this post) for the past couple of years. He is located in a place that is not family friendly and therefore did not move his wife and kids, who remain back at home. The kids are 18 and 14.
The message, which he sent by email, essentially said that he had met a local woman and it is “true love”. He assured my sister-in-law that she had done nothing to precipitate this, it was entirely his responsibility, and that he would look after her and the kids financially “for the foreseeable future”. He wrote that it is not her fault, and if she is “reasonable” he will not treat her as another acquaintance of theirs treated his wife (whose husband also hightailed it with an Asian girl while posted in China). In case you are curious, that particular jerk abandoned his family completely and left his wife and three young children on welfare.
Ain’t this just grand? I am so happy to be alive today.  |
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You're no Carrie Bradshaw and Shanghai ain't Manhattan |
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thewalrus
Shanghai Royalty
Joined: Apr 28, 2004
Posts: 8123
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May 30, 2008 - 02:59 PM |
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| The message, which he sent by email, essentially said that he had met a local woman and it is “true love”. |
What a gutless prick. |
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"I'd like to say thank you on behalf of the group and ourselves, and I hope we passed the audition" |
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Magnolia
Board Biatch
Joined: June 01, 2004
Posts: 31550
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May 30, 2008 - 03:02 PM |
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sent via email? that is the most deplorable part.
i'm sorry to hear your sister-in-law is going through such tribulations and hope she and the kids won't be adversely affected by this.
but i do need to ask... how often did they visit him in the non-family-friendly place?
today's world is a fickle one but somehow (flame me if you will) it is still easier for the man to take off and re-live his life; such scenarios are often not as present for a woman. |
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skyline5k
Board Legend
Joined: Sep 06, 2004
Posts: 10033
Location: is behind you with a knife O_O
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May 30, 2008 - 03:02 PM |
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oh_the_darkness
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 17, 2008
Posts: 2528
Status: Offline
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May 30, 2008 - 03:09 PM |
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| skyline5k wrote: |
| Sure you don't want to post his country... or name, address & phone number? |
Yeah, why NOT do this?
Post something on Asia Expat too.
As Walrus said - a gutless fcuk. |
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thewalrus
Shanghai Royalty
Joined: Apr 28, 2004
Posts: 8123
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May 30, 2008 - 03:11 PM |
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Relationahips break up everyday. Its not nice but its a part of life, and this is by no means defending this guy. But to end a marriage via email... he has to have some major problems.
Scared little pussy whipped wanker. |
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"I'd like to say thank you on behalf of the group and ourselves, and I hope we passed the audition" |
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CK1
LoopKicker
Joined: June 07, 2007
Posts: 915
Status: Offline
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May 30, 2008 - 03:12 PM |
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Email? What a tosser.
I may, and probably will, get shot down for this, but I find it quite disturbing how many Chinese girls I talk to have absolutely no problem sleeping with married men, breaking up a marriage, and becoming a 'home-wrecker' in order to marry a rich man.
But it takes two to tango I suppose, and your sister-in-law deserves better than that gutless sod. |
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Magnolia
Board Biatch
Joined: June 01, 2004
Posts: 31550
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May 30, 2008 - 03:16 PM |
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remember when indonesia had to pass legislation regarding the use of mobiles for divorce?
what a slime. i seriously can't believe someone would send a 'dear john/jane' letter via email to end a marraige of 25 years.
karma. i am a firm believer. may he get what is coming to him tenfold. |
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oh_the_darkness
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 17, 2008
Posts: 2528
Status: Offline
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May 30, 2008 - 03:22 PM |
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If he's in Thailand (or any SE Asian country for that matter) he could be executed for less than $500. Plus the cops could be paid off to say that he was 'in the wrong place at the wrong time' and it was a case of mistaken identity and the perps were killed in cross-fire by the cops. That's what I would do. |
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Dazza
Low Seater
Joined: Feb 02, 2006
Posts: 3434
Location: In the city of cold steel
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May 30, 2008 - 03:22 PM |
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^ I think so too, and the CSA on his arse if he ever sets foot in the UK again. |
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If the musics too loud then you are too old! |
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boredengineer
SuperStar
Joined: Oct 17, 2007
Posts: 1344
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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May 30, 2008 - 03:25 PM |
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I don't really understand why you guys are so uppity about the email bit? Yeah its inappropriate, but what he is doing is a lot worse IMO. If I recived a letter like that, I'd be a lot more upset about the content than the mode of delivery.
Maybe if he posted it on her facebook wall.... |
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oh_the_darkness
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 17, 2008
Posts: 2528
Status: Offline
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May 30, 2008 - 03:26 PM |
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Wife keeps the house and all assets then finds herself a toyboy.
Sorry, Goosie, I don't mean to sound unsympathetic to your sister's situation. |
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And you may ask yourself Am I right? ...am I wrong? And you may tell yourself My god!...what have I done? |
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sbergman
StreetBeater
Joined: Sep 12, 2007
Posts: 2354
Status: Offline
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May 30, 2008 - 03:33 PM |
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If you had met your husband when he was married to someone else, would you ever sleep soundly? I don't mean the guilt. I mean the fear of what comes around, goes around. I know more than one man who is on his third "newer model", I guess at some point one of the girls will win him for good - it's hard to pick up chicks when you're in adult diapers.
Sorry, Goosie. |
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BS
Reacher
Joined: Sep 12, 2007
Posts: 238
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May 30, 2008 - 03:56 PM |
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| Post subject: Re: . . . and so it goes . . . |
| Goosie wrote: |
| who has been posted in S.E. Asia (country to remain unnamed for this post) for the past couple of years. He is located in a place that is not family friendly and therefore did not move his wife and kids, who remain back at home. The kids are 18 and 14. |
S.E. Asia + kids are 18 and 14 + Not family friendly.
Hmm... remind me again where S.E. Asia is?
"Not family friendly"?
HC will take take of the part that says the wife stayed comfortably in the UK. |
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BONNIE
Fire-eater
Joined: June 17, 2005
Posts: 2535
Location: Amsterdam/Shanghai
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May 30, 2008 - 04:28 PM |
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If the kids are 18 and 14 then he is probably at the dangerous age for men - early to mid forties. He is a little paranoid about aging but the local girls see him as a handy catch - alone, no family with him, and at this age he is probably still not bad looking whilst his career path is probably at it's zenith.
The easy availability of new women has swayed his resolve and he is having an affair. He thinks he is in love, but only time will tell if the interest in the new woman is enough to blot out the past 25 years of family life.
You said he has been on this posting for two years already ?
That's a long time to live apart and asking for trouble if the posting is Asia... |
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It is what it is... |
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BONNIE
Fire-eater
Joined: June 17, 2005
Posts: 2535
Location: Amsterdam/Shanghai
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May 30, 2008 - 04:31 PM |
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You said your sister in law ? Your husband's brother that did the deed ? |
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It is what it is... |
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GC
The Ginger Prince
Joined: Dec 01, 2003
Posts: 22196
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May 30, 2008 - 04:43 PM |
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| BONNIE wrote: |
| You said your sister in law ? Your husband's brother that did the deed ? |
The Scottish guy? |
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You turned on the lights, Fuelled U boats by night, That |
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Goosie
Board Grand Dame
Joined: July 16, 2003
Posts: 5492
Location: Singapore
Status: Offline
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May 30, 2008 - 04:45 PM |
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^Yes. |
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You're no Carrie Bradshaw and Shanghai ain't Manhattan |
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findus
Fire-eater
Joined: Feb 03, 2004
Posts: 2520
Status: Offline
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May 30, 2008 - 04:53 PM |
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Hmmm, no-one happy that the guy has found 'true love'? Relationships break up all the time, shiit happens. How many guys do you think she had on the side back home while husband was let to run amok in S.E. Asia?
Good luck to them both. |
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freedelia
LoopKicker
Joined: Nov 27, 2006
Posts: 873
Status: Offline
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May 30, 2008 - 06:08 PM |
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Yesterday a friend of mine told me of a friend who used to live at The Shanghai Center with her husband and (i think) kids and each time she was away (no matter how short her absence) he would have girls come to the door and/or call him asking him if he was lonely, needed some company, someone to talk to,etc...And not once, each and every day that his wife was away...
Eventually, they had to move out and "hide" in one of the suburbs...
Some chinese girls will stop at nothing...and I do not mean to sound racist or anything, it is just the every day reality of the world I have been living in for 6 years... |
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tomnoddy_uk
Wonder Wit
Joined: Mar 14, 2006
Posts: 3509
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May 30, 2008 - 06:12 PM |
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^ why is it the girls' fault? |
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Not everyone who chased the zebra caught it, but he who caught it, chased it. |
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GC
The Ginger Prince
Joined: Dec 01, 2003
Posts: 22196
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May 30, 2008 - 06:17 PM |
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| tomnoddy_uk wrote: |
| ^ why is it the girls' fault? |
Because belief in that keeps us imprisoned in the world forced on us by society and our peers. Break out from that and spread your wings and you start to realise that there's a whole world out there, it's just a shame that for some people it happens to late and they need to end a marriage and **** up their kids lives. |
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You turned on the lights, Fuelled U boats by night, That |
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Rais
Reacher
Joined: Nov 17, 2006
Posts: 298
Status: Offline
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May 30, 2008 - 06:30 PM |
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| findus wrote: |
Hmmm, no-one happy that the guy has found 'true love'? Relationships break up all the time, shiit happens. How many guys do you think she had on the side back home while husband was let to run amok in S.E. Asia?
Good luck to them both. |
Yes, good for him. As long as he takes care of his kids. For all we know their relationship was crap, or/and the wife treated him like crap etc. perhaps this is one of the reasons he used email. I would say do not be quick to judge. |
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freedelia
LoopKicker
Joined: Nov 27, 2006
Posts: 873
Status: Offline
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May 30, 2008 - 06:46 PM |
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Do not be quick to judge??? If the wife treated him like crap and he was unhappy he should have had the guts to leave her years ago, no matter how inconvenient. But he has to wait until he is posted away from home, finds a mistress and only then does he have enough guts to break it off -- oh wait, with the blueberries he has for balls he SENDS HER AN EMAIL!!!!!! ending a marriage like it was nothing...makes me sick.
And for whoever asked why is it the girl's fault -- maybe you did not readmy post correctly. The man I was talking about was not interested in any of the girls that called or knocked on his door. And he told them so and still they came back every day. So whose fault is that???? |
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Rais
Reacher
Joined: Nov 17, 2006
Posts: 298
Status: Offline
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May 30, 2008 - 06:53 PM |
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| freedelia wrote: |
Do not be quick to judge??? If the wife treated him like crap and he was unhappy he should have had the guts to leave her years ago, no matter how inconvenient. But he has to wait until he is posted away from home, finds a mistress and only then does he have enough guts to break it off -- oh wait, with the blueberries he has for balls he SENDS HER AN EMAIL!!!!!! ending a marriage like it was nothing...makes me sick.
And for whoever asked why is it the girl's fault -- maybe you did not readmy post correctly. The man I was talking about was not interested in any of the girls that called or knocked on his door. And he told them so and still they came back every day. So whose fault is that???? |
So on the first sentence you're saying you're not being quick to judge and on the second you are already coming up with a scenario from your imagination, condemning the guy anyhow. Nice. |
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