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woaihuan
Veejay
Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 1848
Status: Offline
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 Posted:
Aug 08, 2008 - 04:34 PM |
 
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And Authenticdreamer, although you're saying you're not really being racist by looking for foreigners, unlike the 'Yellow Fever', you still are doing a very undesirable thing by looking specifically for foreign men, as this is most often racist (prefer white/black, or a foreign culture over Chinese, or believe they have more money) or it is for a visa to another country. In the latter case, that's no better than a mailorder bride which in most countries is seen as more of a prostitute than anything else. Worse than a bar girl. |
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flyingwings
Barker
Joined: Apr 24, 2008
Posts: 148
Status: Offline
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Aug 08, 2008 - 04:38 PM |
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| authenticdreamer wrote: |
| flyingwings wrote: |
MY GOD..
i didn't say u don't like this city and for sure, my bf like me bcos who i am. and by the way, why u think he likes me bcos im a chinese?
by saying a decent life, doesnt mean i have lots of money, it means i can afford on my own for what i desire for. and don't need to have bias on rich ppl, some of them are crap but some of them still think of the community and do charities.
are we clear? |
Hi wings, I am not trying to offend you, anyway your replies are kind and sincere. I just think your reply is kinda arbitrary. But if I misunderstood it, I hope it's okay with you.
I am glad you enjoy your life with you bf in shanghai. |
No problem, actually i m also very sensitive. i m enjoying my life here now with my bf but we are also facing serious issue if u have ever seen my first post here.
i know that most of the white guys in here are just looking for fun not LOVE but at least me and my bf are equal in this relationship and we respect each other.
regardless of the future thing, i think i can still be friend with him even if we break up.
this is life, don't blame the player blame the game
i can see u r also a cool person, well educated and confident in life. maybe just not meet the right person
smile ... |
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woaihuan
Veejay
Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 1848
Status: Offline
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Aug 08, 2008 - 04:41 PM |
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Ask your boyfriend if he has the yellow fever. |
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woaihuan
Veejay
Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 1848
Status: Offline
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Aug 08, 2008 - 04:41 PM |
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Don't tell him you know what it is. Act like you don't.
Then ask him what it is.
If he lies about not knowing what it means, or explains it incorrectly, he probably lied about the first question too and he has the fever. |
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flyingwings
Barker
Joined: Apr 24, 2008
Posts: 148
Status: Offline
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Aug 08, 2008 - 04:43 PM |
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| woaihuan wrote: |
Flyingwings,
Although one does not simply marry a Chinese girl because she is Chinese, her race may (and often does) play a roll in whether or not he initially takes interest in her.
For example,
If a guy is only attracted to Chinese women, he may hang around with foreign women a lot, but never consider them for more than a friendship or casual encounter. He may only truly consider giving a girl a shot at a relationship if she was Chinese.
ehh... I can't put this into words today. Basically what I'm trying to put into words is the yellow fever.
A guy isn't going to marry you simply because he has the yellow fever and you're Chinese. There are millions of Chinese women. However, he may have initially chose you over a foreign girl based on your race. *but* he would only get into a serious relationship if he truly cared about *you* specifically. |
right...but why u turn around and around ... i feel dizzy when i read it
just put yellow fever ( im pretty pale actually ) and your last part
gotcha..no prob |
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flyingwings
Barker
Joined: Apr 24, 2008
Posts: 148
Status: Offline
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Aug 08, 2008 - 04:51 PM |
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| woaihuan wrote: |
Don't tell him you know what it is. Act like you don't.
Then ask him what it is.
If he lies about not knowing what it means, or explains it incorrectly, he probably lied about the first question too and he has the fever. |
why do i need to ask him that ? this is not funny
i told u/all here that he likes me bcos im who i am
clear? but anyway, don't care what others think |
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woaihuan
Veejay
Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 1848
Status: Offline
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Aug 08, 2008 - 04:54 PM |
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Pale is not white, dark is not black. It's still Chinese and is still appealing to one with the Yellow Fever. Most foreign guys actually prefer that their girlfriend isn't 'Pale'.
I'm sure he does like you because of who you are.
But I'm also pretty certain that there's a bit of Fever that initially influenced that. |
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flyingwings
Barker
Joined: Apr 24, 2008
Posts: 148
Status: Offline
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Aug 08, 2008 - 05:02 PM |
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ok ok ok ... u r righttttt...u win....
i just finished 3 hours meeting and now i don't wanna have another 3 hours debate on my dear shanghaiexpat...
but still look forward to watch this frustrating olympic opening ceremony and see how they waste and screw up |
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woaihuan
Veejay
Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 1848
Status: Offline
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Aug 08, 2008 - 05:12 PM |
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When's it on? Who's taking bets on whether there will be an attack? Who's taking bets on the number of 'plots foiled' the government presents in the paper? |
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flyingwings
Barker
Joined: Apr 24, 2008
Posts: 148
Status: Offline
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Aug 08, 2008 - 05:16 PM |
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hang on...
i was told we will be attacked if we keep talking about olympics....blah..blah...
8.08 pm..everybody enjoy...
over...
hahaha |
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hooia
Seeker
Joined: Aug 05, 2008
Posts: 46
Status: Offline
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Aug 08, 2008 - 05:25 PM |
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| freedelia wrote: |
I think you are right to feel this way. Not to say that there are no good foreign men in Shanghai -- but the general mentality is that foreign guys dating Chinese girls are not serious, that the relationship is not equal, that the girl can be easily replaced. I have a lot of friends who, although the guy is madly in love with them, still feel they have to fight for their relationship with his friends (who always try to "help" him when they have couple problems by suggesting that he find a different girl, or make stupid jokes about her and Chinese people in front of her, etc) Also, in general, both CHinese and foreigners regard Chinese girls dating foreigners as gold diggers and always question their motives.
For an oversensitive person, i think all these adversities are hard to overcome in China. I think you have a very deep and clear understanding of what is going on with you -- an based on what you presented, I think you will not be able to feel at ease dating a foreigner here and especially hanging out with his friends. So, IMO, you have 2 options: either date a CHinese guy here or leave and date a foreigner abroad. |
I share your opinion.
Most Expats living in Shanghai have severe superiority complex.
They may consider all chinese girls dating with laowai with doubtful motives.
It's normal to have exotic tastes,but in such a twisted environment where relationships between local and laowai seem to be superficial,we need to protect ourselves.
never accept a guy,local or foreign,unless u r sure that u know him well enough and he knows u as well. |
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woaihuan
Veejay
Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 1848
Status: Offline
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Aug 08, 2008 - 05:31 PM |
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Shouldn't that be a common sense rule abroad as well?
Basically, what you're telling women to do is to use their head here. |
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woaihuan
Veejay
Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 1848
Status: Offline
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Aug 08, 2008 - 05:32 PM |
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There are plenty of guys that don't find themself with a hint of the Asian Fever and are just dying to find a decent foreign girl to date.
Honest, there are. Most single foreign guys I've met have felt this way. The others were in heaven. |
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lilypink
Reacher
Joined: June 10, 2007
Posts: 280
Status: Offline
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Aug 08, 2008 - 05:45 PM |
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^I must agree, u r a funny guy! |
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Mr Totomolo
Rocker
Joined: June 21, 2008
Posts: 702
Location: Shanghai & Taipei
Status: Offline
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Aug 08, 2008 - 05:53 PM |
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 got a bad week, Lily? trying every room to pick up a fight?  How about your tajine cooking ? |
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lilypink
Reacher
Joined: June 10, 2007
Posts: 280
Status: Offline
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Aug 08, 2008 - 05:54 PM |
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^no tajine, have no stuff in china! |
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Mr Totomolo
Rocker
Joined: June 21, 2008
Posts: 702
Location: Shanghai & Taipei
Status: Offline
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Aug 08, 2008 - 05:59 PM |
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Tell you what... when i went to Jerusalem for my daughter wedding last year, went to buy a hookah in the main pedestrian street. When my daughter told the guy I was living in China, he laughed his a$$ out..Coz all the cheap hookahs all over the world come from Yiwu..so for tajines, try China also...
Sorry OP , did not mean to hijack your thread |
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woaihuan
Veejay
Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 1848
Status: Offline
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 Posted:
Aug 08, 2008 - 06:16 PM |
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You should have picked up a locally made one or an antique... might have been harder to find, or maybe more expensive - but much cooler.
I'd like a hookah, but my wife doesn't like tobacco and... I don't know where exactly she stands on hash.  She knows, and she has taken a *lot* of interest in the Harold and Kumar movies.... so things could be looking good in that department! (I don't like pot that much, however, it *would* be cool to get her in on some mushrooms! Btw, anyone interested in this topic?) |
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authenticdreamer
Seeker
Joined: July 15, 2008
Posts: 68
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
Aug 08, 2008 - 06:30 PM |
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| woaihuan wrote: |
| you still are doing a very undesirable thing by looking specifically for foreign men, as this is most often racist (prefer white/black, or a foreign culture over Chinese, or believe they have more money) or it is for a visa to another country. In the latter case, that's no better than a mailorder bride which in most countries is seen as more of a prostitute than anything else. Worse than a bar girl. |
Come on, how can you say I am looking for foreign men?
Are you sure I am not looking for both the local and the foreign guys?
I think you married a local one, and how can you make sure she is really superior to the other local gals?
Your comments is nothing but a HAHA to me! |
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woaihuan
Veejay
Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 1848
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
Aug 08, 2008 - 08:43 PM |
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| authenticdreamer wrote: |
Come on, how can you say I am looking for foreign men?
Are you sure I am not looking for both the local and the foreign guys?
I think you married a local one, and how can you make sure she is really superior to the other local gals?
Your comments is nothing but a HAHA to me! |
How can I say it? Title of the thread.
Foreign men are such a minority that it wouldn't make sense to have a thread like this unless you were looking primarily for foreign guys.
Yes, I married a local. I don't believe she is superior to the other local gals. There are billions of people I've never met - surely there is always going to be someone better fit for you than the person you end up with. |
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liupei
Reacher
Joined: July 05, 2008
Posts: 295
Status: Offline
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Aug 08, 2008 - 09:26 PM |
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so ur a white cock hunter complaining that white guys dont give u the princess treatment coz all ur countrymates r the same?
its like asking why people dont treat a nickel and a treasury bond the same |
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lucar
Board Royalty
Joined: July 05, 2004
Posts: 6265
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
Aug 08, 2008 - 09:27 PM |
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| Quote: |
There are billions of people I've never met - surely there is always going to be someone better fit for you than the person you end up with.
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^Come here little squirrel... |
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Mr Totomolo
Rocker
Joined: June 21, 2008
Posts: 702
Location: Shanghai & Taipei
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
Aug 08, 2008 - 09:40 PM |
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 friday night fever....starts to turn nasty.... the wolves are set free |
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authenticdreamer
Seeker
Joined: July 15, 2008
Posts: 68
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
Aug 08, 2008 - 09:49 PM |
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| Mr Totomolo wrote: |
| friday night fever....starts to turn nasty.... the wolves are set free |
Ye~ thank you for your kind reminder Mr toto~
I am watching the opening ceremony. Everything seemed to be quite nice till I saw some nasty comments made by some ppl here.... |
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woaihuan
Veejay
Joined: Dec 15, 2007
Posts: 1848
Status: Offline
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| Posted:
Aug 09, 2008 - 12:37 AM |
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| liupei wrote: |
so ur a white cock hunter complaining that white guys dont give u the princess treatment coz all ur countrymates r the same?
its like asking why people dont treat a nickel and a treasury bond the same |
You don't understand the fever. |
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