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DRJ
Seeker
Joined: Jan 24, 2009
Posts: 43
Status: Offline
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Feb 20, 2009 - 11:16 PM |
 
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| Post subject: Chinese People |
Whenever I am back in China, I find it really hard to relate to the locals. I strongly believe in not judging people based on where they are from but I can't just help but do so in China. They always come up with the weirdest of questions and comments - who paid for your hotel, flight? How much do you make? Will you have a Chinese girlfriend? Why do foreigners lack morals? I hate the Japanese etc. - THIS IS CONSIDERED SMALL TALK!!!
I went out to dinner with my Chinese colleagues and was just my happy go lucky self and had a couple of beers, which is pretty normal for me - if I go out. They started asking if I was drunk - where I clearly was not! Then this chick e-mails me the link to Alcoholics Anonymous the next morning... Seriously WTF??
I also get the feeling that people only really want to know you, if they think they can benefit from you in some way or the other. The concept of friendship is alien to them. I mean I work with these people, want to get to know them but conversing with so far has just left me exasperated.
Any tips on how to behave around Chinese people especially colleagues would be really helpful |
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Shangstar
Low Seater
Joined: Feb 07, 2008
Posts: 3403
Location: Spitland
Status: Offline
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Feb 20, 2009 - 11:35 PM |
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Bottom line is this: The locals don't get out much. Be it from their streets, villages, towns, cities, provinces, or their country. People think the Americans don't know what's going on beyond their own national borders. The Chinese are much worse. They don't know how to relate to foreigners in an "ordinary" sense because they don't know how to. i.e. they didn't learn how to by rote at school. They don't do anything unless they're told to by someone somewhere. That's the essence of an ordered country.
Do you like basketball?! |
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The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born... |
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RussianBear
Veejay
Joined: June 25, 2008
Posts: 2148
Location: Milky Way galaxy
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Feb 20, 2009 - 11:56 PM |
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Actually, you should not to be much wondered that these people exactly TTTT: TALK THAT THEY THINK. That is a "wonderful world" of truth... that you will know about yourself 
How to answer to this simply and naive question "Are foreign woman are fat because they eat butter ?"  |
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DRJ
Seeker
Joined: Jan 24, 2009
Posts: 43
Status: Offline
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Feb 21, 2009 - 01:05 AM |
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I had the same feeling RB that they talk what they think BUT some of them seem to be suprisingly diplomatic on things that matter ... And this GIVE FACE TAKE FACE concept is also a real weird one .. What the motherfreak is up that??? Sorry guys, but I just needed to vent, I guess ... Perhaps a list of weird questions that Chinese people ask will help newbies and relative newbies (like me) to adjust to these testing conditions .... |
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RussianBear
Veejay
Joined: June 25, 2008
Posts: 2148
Location: Milky Way galaxy
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Feb 21, 2009 - 01:27 AM |
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Simply tips: as known, they have endless quantity of same questions - so prepare - your's , begin - first and WIN .. a silent. Don't hesitate, it is not valued here.  |
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CoffeeHawk_0
Board Deity
Joined: July 14, 2005
Posts: 19090
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Feb 21, 2009 - 08:25 AM |
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| Why do foreigners lack morals? |
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bougie
Board Buddha
Joined: Nov 20, 2004
Posts: 14919
Location: Woooo .. Han
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Feb 21, 2009 - 08:28 AM |
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| Post subject: Re: Chinese People |
| DRJ wrote: |
Whenever I am back in China, I find it really hard to relate to the locals. I strongly believe in not judging people based on where they are from but I can't just help but do so in China. They always come up with the weirdest of questions and comments - who paid for your hotel, flight? How much do you make? Will you have a Chinese girlfriend? Why do foreigners lack morals? I hate the Japanese etc. - THIS IS CONSIDERED SMALL TALK!!!
I went out to dinner with my Chinese colleagues and was just my happy go lucky self and had a couple of beers, which is pretty normal for me - if I go out. They started asking if I was drunk - where I clearly was not! Then this chick e-mails me the link to Alcoholics Anonymous the next morning... Seriously WTF??
I also get the feeling that people only really want to know you, if they think they can benefit from you in some way or the other. The concept of friendship is alien to them. I mean I work with these people, want to get to know them but conversing with so far has just left me exasperated.
Any tips on how to behave around Chinese people especially colleagues would be really helpful |
You just don't understand Chinese culture ..  |
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woaishanghai07
Reacher
Joined: Dec 26, 2007
Posts: 203
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Feb 21, 2009 - 08:59 AM |
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Perhaps you haven't met the right Chinese people. While there are a lot of Chinese people who seem to blatantly lack social skills (and I do mean a lot), I have also met a lot of Chinese people who are very interesting and are great fun to hang out with.
I do feel you though, I've met a few of the old, old locals around my apartment area who have stopped me and asked me 'How much money do you earn?' 'How much do you pay for your flat?' 'Do you like China?' and then considering that enough conversation promptly leave after I have given them a suitable answer. Then for some of the young ones (i.e. 18-37) I feel like I'm talking to a 10 year old. |
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txaggie07
Reacher
Joined: Aug 10, 2007
Posts: 298
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Feb 21, 2009 - 09:36 AM |
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haha 18-37? Is 38 when they rust out, lose their teeth and start spitting sunflower seeds not to mention phlegm in close proximity of your feet while walking backwards?
Most professionals in China have had more foreigner contact than others, and some foreign travel experience. These are the Chinese that you can talk to without hearing these questions. The ones that don't get out are the ones that ask the redundant questions to get a feel for the 'foreigner culture.' These types of Chinese automatically assume if you have white skin, your culture is the same, and that you are filthy rich.
The same thing happens in the west. Especially with Americans. One young college aged chap in the US once said, "Oh, you live in China? I love Chinese food. I ate Sushi last night!"
Ignorance is everywhere. You can't really blame most Chinese, as their political situation makes it harder for them to see beyond their 'walls.' |
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Louise1227
Newbie
Joined: Jan 10, 2009
Posts: 4
Location: Shanghai, China
Status: Offline
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Feb 21, 2009 - 09:53 AM |
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i am a chinese girl.
Maybe what u truly need is calm down first. How can u really understand Chiness culture while u are so UNHAPPY about what is happening around u .
One thing is that u need to adapt to the local culture when u come to a new place. u don't have to change yrself, but at least be nice and patient to local ppl. The other thing is that don't judge a whole nation(maybe nation is a too big word, i should say a group) by a part of it. There are so many nice chinese ppl around.
No one force u come to China, and now, here u are, try to find the lovely aspects of it, but don't just focus on the LESS lovely aspects of it.
I am pretty sure, u will love China and Chinese ppl soon````` |
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Shangstar
Low Seater
Joined: Feb 07, 2008
Posts: 3403
Location: Spitland
Status: Offline
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Feb 21, 2009 - 10:24 AM |
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true - nobody forces people to come to China..........but I recall a load of Chinese people in Chinatown London protesting about the treatment of the Olympic torch bearers last year......nobody forced them to be there..........the bottom line is they can complain because they contribute to the UK. Similarly, foreigners come to China to contribute to China, be it in tourism, investment, business or teaching. |
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The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born... |
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RussianBear
Veejay
Joined: June 25, 2008
Posts: 2148
Location: Milky Way galaxy
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Feb 21, 2009 - 10:29 AM |
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So, Louise1227's suggestion is LOVE or LEAVE ? You prohibit criticism in any way and we only accepted to say " Ah! Everything are so good ! And these blueeeee skyyyyyyy !! " |
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Last edited by RussianBear on Feb 21, 2009 - 11:33 AM; edited 1 time in total |
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bezoli
Rocker
Joined: Aug 30, 2006
Posts: 692
Status: Offline
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Feb 21, 2009 - 10:34 AM |
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ah I know what you mean, but I guess you're taking it more serious than it is.
People just don't mind asking, same as they don't mind using public toilets that don't have doors.
Keep an open mind and I'm sure you'll be rewarded with a lot of great chinese friends.
BTW, HOW MUCH DO YOU ACTUALLY MAKE?
:-p |
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A place in Shanghai @ www.shplace.com |
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Reggin
StreetBeater
Joined: Nov 07, 2008
Posts: 2236
Status: Offline
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Feb 21, 2009 - 11:44 AM |
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Whenever I get weird question I make up even weirder answer.
Who paid for your hotel, flight? Bill Gates, won a lottery, I do not have to pay because I am white etc.
How much do you make? I work for free, 800 kuai etc.
Will you have a Chinese girlfriend? No Chinese girls got no tits, I am gay etc.
Why do foreigners lack morals? Because we had no Maozedong who would teach us those morals, because white skin is causing lack of morals, we copied it from Chinese etc.
Are you drunk ? I have to drink my doctor said if I do not drink every day I will die etc.
Are foreign women are fat because they eat butter ? Yes how did you know ?, They are fat because they lack morals etc. |
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Last edited by Reggin on Feb 21, 2009 - 11:55 AM; edited 2 times in total |
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underh20
Board Legend
Joined: Sep 27, 2006
Posts: 12702
Location: Veggie-Free Zone
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Feb 21, 2009 - 11:46 AM |
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^ Exactly. 
That's the best approach. It allows you to keep your samity, not really offend the person who asked the question and have alittle fun, too. |
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"If I need to buy a TV, I'll definitely buy a Japanese TV. A Chinese TV might explode." -- Jackie Chan |
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Reggin
StreetBeater
Joined: Nov 07, 2008
Posts: 2236
Status: Offline
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Feb 21, 2009 - 11:53 AM |
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And most funny is, these innocent souls tend to believe you whatever bullfeces you say, because concept of sarcasm is practically unknown here. For example almost every taxidriver who asked believed me I am from Xinjiang, no kidding. |
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underh20
Board Legend
Joined: Sep 27, 2006
Posts: 12702
Location: Veggie-Free Zone
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Feb 21, 2009 - 11:56 AM |
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^ Yeah, people can be gullible.
In a taxi the drivers always like to ask the typical questions including how much you earn. Sometimes I tell them I earn 800 RMB per month. Sometimes I tell them I earn 5 million RMB per month. I'm not sure if they believe it or not, but the absurd answer somehow stops them from asking more prying questions. |
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"If I need to buy a TV, I'll definitely buy a Japanese TV. A Chinese TV might explode." -- Jackie Chan |
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Reggin
StreetBeater
Joined: Nov 07, 2008
Posts: 2236
Status: Offline
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Feb 21, 2009 - 12:01 PM |
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| In a taxi the drivers always like to ask the typical questions including how much you earn. |
I really do not recall ever get asked this question, most asked question is "Where are you from", I gave so many weird answers in the past: Xinjiang, Africa, Vatican...
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| Sometimes I tell them I earn 5 million RMB per month. I'm not sure if they believe it or not |
I think they do, they are really childishly naive. |
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victorinchina
Board Royalty
Joined: Jan 17, 2009
Posts: 7834
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Feb 21, 2009 - 12:03 PM |
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| Post subject: Re: Chinese People |
| DRJ wrote: |
| Any tips on how to behave around Chinese people especially colleagues would be really helpful |
There is no short answer to your question. I am sure every expat here can talk for hours of his/her experiences and ways of dealing with them.
1 quick advice though….
Acceptance.
Just accept the strange behaviors and questions. Seriously! Focusing too much on the small things will in the end mess with your mind in a bad way.
Personally my Chinese wife regularly helps me accepting. She will tell me 4 words which will instantly get my mind off the negatives and focus on the good things.
The words being: "Stop being an idiot”
I'm not saying you are an idiot. I'm just saying, don't think too much about it. Just accept the differences in peoples behavior.
There are indeed very nice Chinese people out there, you will be able to communicate with in a manner you will find suitable. |
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'it's not pink... it's fuschia' - Mickey Maguire |
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underh20
Board Legend
Joined: Sep 27, 2006
Posts: 12702
Location: Veggie-Free Zone
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Feb 21, 2009 - 12:06 PM |
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^ True. Having a good sense of humor also helps.
Besides, there are really a lot of very nice people around. In fact, I'd say the majority are nice. |
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"If I need to buy a TV, I'll definitely buy a Japanese TV. A Chinese TV might explode." -- Jackie Chan |
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victorinchina
Board Royalty
Joined: Jan 17, 2009
Posts: 7834
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Feb 21, 2009 - 12:10 PM |
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| Reggin wrote: |
| ...... because concept of sarcasm is practically unknown here..... |
Not true.
Sarcasm IS unknown here...  |
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'it's not pink... it's fuschia' - Mickey Maguire |
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RussianBear
Veejay
Joined: June 25, 2008
Posts: 2148
Location: Milky Way galaxy
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Feb 21, 2009 - 12:14 PM |
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During you take a taxi in Beijing, wrong answer to question "Were are you from" may by miracle way affect to finish amount (and speed). Good answer is name of any world unknown country or, for example, "from Atlantic". In result as well is - silent. |
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victorinchina
Board Royalty
Joined: Jan 17, 2009
Posts: 7834
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Feb 21, 2009 - 12:18 PM |
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If you ask the taxi drivers I have used the last years they will tell you I am from; USA (obvisouly all whiteys are in fact from USA), UK, Germany, Denmark, Sweden, Korea, Hong Kong, Italy, Russia, Europe (Yes, some of them thinks Europe is a country) |
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'it's not pink... it's fuschia' - Mickey Maguire |
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DRJ
Seeker
Joined: Jan 24, 2009
Posts: 43
Status: Offline
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Feb 21, 2009 - 12:33 PM |
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Look I am not a hater > so please people whose sentiments I have hurt need to understand that I am just try to grapple the situation at hand ... Like most expats, I am grateful for the oppurtunity to work here and experience a new culture, make new friends etc. - Like Bougie said - I just have not got it till now - It's hard - my chinese is horrible (even saying that seems like a compliment) and their English arn't really the best !!! |
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DRJ
Seeker
Joined: Jan 24, 2009
Posts: 43
Status: Offline
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Feb 21, 2009 - 12:36 PM |
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VICTOR AND BEZOLI > sound advice .. probably the right thing to do |
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