Forum FAQ

Preferences

Watched Topics

Watched Forums

Cynism in China

Goto page Previous 1, 2, 3, ... 9, 10, 11 Next

Shanghai Expat Forum Index » City Living Forums » Questions and Answers

Author

Message

Therealme

Seeker

Joined: Oct 22, 2008
Posts: 42

Status: Offline

Posted: June 29, 2009 - 11:30 AM

Realtrueblue, you are just in transition ( in the trying to explain things stage). Don't worry ,very soon (1~2years) you will adjust your conceptions/ expectations or whatever and think/act accordingly.
To help you ; remember as Lifemage said to " Put things into perspective".
My 2c

Cambronne

Wonder Wit

Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Posts: 3551

Status: Offline

Posted: June 29, 2009 - 11:49 AM

Therealme wrote:

I disagree with that. I for once will never lower my expectation, my respect for human beings and human life, and will never stop trying to make the world a better place. Most Catholics or communists would agree with me on that. But we need to learn to relax and act efficiently. Just a reminder, almost half a million Chinese die on the road every year in China, as a direct result of the locals selfish behavior and their utter direspect for others, in spite of everything they learn in school. 500,000 innocent victims. This I can never accept.

_________________
My pro-Madoff signature was censored by antisemite moderators! Free Madoff, the Dreyfus of the XXIth century! Bomb Iran! Down with antisemite moderators!

ziccawei

Post Roaster

Joined: Sep 12, 2008
Posts: 4543
Location: Ziccawei
Status: Offline

Posted: June 29, 2009 - 11:57 AM

I agree with Cambronne.

Lowering your expectations means that things may never improve here. By lowering our expectations, does that mean that Chinese people are inferior to us? Are we not all human beings? We should raise our expectations so things improve.

_________________
Jackie Onnassis on acid.

huangheilong

Talker

Joined: Oct 31, 2006
Posts: 120

Status: Offline

Posted: June 29, 2009 - 12:02 PM
Post subject: Re: Cynism in China

realtrueblue wrote:

I noticed that I am gradually taking over their bad habbits. Sometimes, on purpose, I bump on people or I refuse to give way on a crowded sidewalk.

That's nothing.
Since I am in China, I even try to burp and to fart as loud as possible.

Therealme

Seeker

Joined: Oct 22, 2008
Posts: 42

Status: Offline

Posted: June 29, 2009 - 12:03 PM

I never said lowering your expectations, plutot adjusting your expectations.

zillahh

Barker

Joined: Jan 01, 2008
Posts: 198

Status: Offline

Posted: June 29, 2009 - 01:58 PM

Marakanis wrote:

zillahh wrote:

Marakanis wrote:

Love it or leave it? Really? That's your advice?

I love how when people are preaching, they always sign their name at the bottom. =P

So that would mean your name is Equals Pee?

I wasn't preaching, I was bitching...

me too. I guess I'm still steaming over that second old lady who cut in line this morning. As if the first one wasn't enough. lol

Invisibility is the key to maintaining ones own value system in China. If "you" are the only living enity on earth it dosent matter what others think . . . they arn't there.

waingro

Reacher

Joined: Nov 06, 2006
Posts: 243

Status: Offline

Posted: June 29, 2009 - 05:42 PM

Agree with cambronne and ziccawei.

The only people that love China are the people that haven't travelled anywhere else besides here and their Western home countries.

Going to SE Asia(except Vietnam) will only make you more depressed because the people are warm and hospitable despite being as poor or poorer than Chinese. I just came back from Myanmar(Burma) where people are 100 times poorer than China, but have 100 times better behavior. Same story in Laos and Cambodia. So please do not link behavior with economic situation. And don't say it's because the country is crowded, because Yangon is incredibly crowded and no one pushes and shoves. Same with Bangkok; no one is pushing on the skytrain.

To the OP, the only solution is to marry your GF and get her an escape visa.

Rumpelstiltskin

PopStar

Joined: May 13, 2009
Posts: 1293

Status: Offline

Posted: June 29, 2009 - 06:05 PM

I frankly ENJOY to fart or burp publicly, the queue and subway rushes, makes me feel more free.

Last edited by Rumpelstiltskin on June 29, 2009 - 06:15 PM; edited 1 time in total

leidelaohu

Board Lord

Joined: June 11, 2007
Posts: 5743

Status: Offline

Posted: June 29, 2009 - 06:05 PM

Another approach helps sometimes : when people's behavior gets too obnoxious I just think, "What would Jane Goodall do ?"

still_here

Rocker

Joined: May 29, 2007
Posts: 680
Location: XinZhuang
Status: Offline

Posted: June 29, 2009 - 07:33 PM

waingro wrote:

The only people that love China are the people that haven't travelled anywhere else besides here and their Western home countries.

Going to SE Asia(except Vietnam) will only make you more depressed because the people are warm and hospitable despite being as poor or poorer than Chinese. I just came back from Myanmar(Burma) where people are 100 times poorer than China, but have 100 times better behavior. Same story in Laos and Cambodia. So please do not link behavior with economic situation. And don't say it's because the country is crowded, because Yangon is incredibly crowded and no one pushes and shoves. Same with Bangkok; no one is pushing on the skytrain.

Interesting!
But the corollary to that will be that our hosts are rude/ arrogant?

_________________
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive ,fattening or in love with someone else!

CoffeeHawk_0
Board Deity

Joined: July 14, 2005
Posts: 17952

Posted: June 29, 2009 - 08:13 PM

I agree with all the good things said previously, many were my mottos to get me to this 4 year point.

What I see above too, however, is that the Zic, Cambronne, and Lifemage types here (the butcher, the baker, and the candle stick maker) are people that have chosen to stay here long term. 3 very different people, 3 different cultures. They like it, so they stay. It's not that they decided to stay and figured out how to like it.

The others? They're on a long term business trip or walk-about (years) and if they like it, if it gets better, maybe they can find a way to stay. Maybe it's the dream of leaving one day that keeps them protected, temporarily.

You can't tell Mike Tyson to just relax and go with the flow at a KKK rally.

waingro

Reacher

Joined: Nov 06, 2006
Posts: 243

Status: Offline

Posted: June 29, 2009 - 08:24 PM

still_here wrote:

waingro wrote:

Interesting!
But the corollary to that will be that our hosts are rude/ arrogant?

Each culture is different, and this culture only places value on family and friends, not strangers. And yes, your neighbor is a stranger!

MoonOverMiami
LoopKicker

Joined: Jan 07, 2008
Posts: 862

Posted: June 29, 2009 - 08:49 PM

One time some lady pushed me out of the way to walk by, so I caught up to her and pushed her out of my way. Live and you learn.

_________________
"One who falls asleep with an itchy backside, will wake up with smelly fingers..."

Seen

Reacher

Joined: Jan 14, 2009
Posts: 272

Status: Offline

Posted: June 29, 2009 - 09:51 PM

Our IT guy always tells me what I wanted him to purchase "is not yet in the market" or "does not exist". I Googled the items and sent him the link. Then the items miraculously came into existence and was sitting on my desk within a week.

I don't ask why.

CoffeeHawk_0
Board Deity

Joined: July 14, 2005
Posts: 17952

Posted: June 29, 2009 - 09:56 PM

^you're still in the good phase, you think you're a better guy and he's dumb/lazy. In reality, he got you to do some work for him.

shalamazoo

Raver

Joined: May 28, 2002
Posts: 394
Location: I'm thinking???
Status: Offline

Posted: June 29, 2009 - 10:20 PM

Just say WTF

vellocet

Barker

Joined: Apr 16, 2004
Posts: 150
Location: Ningbo
Status: Offline

Posted: June 29, 2009 - 10:58 PM

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I am no longer bothered by this bullfeces because I close elevator doors on people. I cut in line. I make sure the clerk gets me first by pushing others out of the way, and even if the clerk tries to talk with them in Chinese, I'm right there talking loudly so that their conversation can't occur. My favorite is exiting an elevator into a crowd: I put my arms in a wedge in front of my like a train's cowcatcher, and bulldoze through the crowd. Most people here don't weigh more than 120 pounds, so it's not hard to shove them out of the way so I can get on with my life.

My favorite is when some "helpful" Chinese person tells me I'm being rude or ill-mannered...when other Chinese people are doing the exact same thing beside me. I hope someday to catch video of this..."I am shocked, shocked to find gambling going on here!" "Your winnings, Monsieur"

still_here

Rocker

Joined: May 29, 2007
Posts: 680
Location: XinZhuang
Status: Offline

Posted: June 29, 2009 - 11:58 PM

waingro wrote:

still_here wrote:

waingro wrote:

Interesting!
But the corollary to that will be that our hosts are rude/ arrogant?

Each culture is different, and this culture only places value on family and friends, not strangers. And yes, your neighbor is a stranger!

Would still say BRAVO!
You would have been better keeping the accusatory tone in check for that's the impression i got. But that's just me Wink

_________________
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive ,fattening or in love with someone else!

greenmark

Rocker

Joined: July 28, 2005
Posts: 612
Location: Location Location
Status: Offline

Posted: June 30, 2009 - 01:31 PM

There's quite a few posts here that belong on the "you know you've been too long in China when..." thread.

Yes, I felt I had the same level of cynicism when I was about the three-year mark in China. That's when I felt that it was not a healthy place to stay if it warped my sense of thinking that it was OK to be rude to others and also for the extreme dislike I started having with Chinese people.

The place made me feel I was becoming racist. That's when I decided it was a good time to leave. I didnt want to stay and further become the type of person I did not want to be.

ClarenceBodicker

Rocker

Joined: May 02, 2009
Posts: 635

Status: Offline

Posted: June 30, 2009 - 01:34 PM

Montesquieu said it best, that ALL chinese r totally devoid of morals

_________________
Tim will heal anything, but hopefully not merely by forgetting.

Marakanis
Fire-eater

Joined: Jan 11, 2009
Posts: 2934

Posted: June 30, 2009 - 01:59 PM

Well, I don't know about becoming racist, but living in China for 6 months has utterly dashed the idea that all asians are hard-working, studious and smart.

tomnoddy_uk
Wonder Wit

Joined: Mar 14, 2006
Posts: 3509

Posted: June 30, 2009 - 03:07 PM

don't take everything so personally/seriously

_________________
Not everyone who chased the zebra caught it, but he who caught it, chased it.

ziccawei

Post Roaster

Joined: Sep 12, 2008
Posts: 4543
Location: Ziccawei
Status: Offline

Posted: June 30, 2009 - 03:19 PM

^ Good advice.

Each year I'm in China it gets easier to live here.

I like Shanghai - It's nuts, but I like it. A lot of people complain about the place, but I suspect these people are natural born whingers anyway.

It's about 30 degrees centigrade and beautiful young Chinese women are running around in ludicrous high heels and tiny mini skirts. What's not to like?

Cool