| Author |
Message |
jimandcoco
StreetBeater
Joined: Apr 20, 2004
Posts: 2204
Location: California
Status: Offline
|
  Posted:
Apr 29, 2004 - 10:44 PM |
 
|
| Post subject: the culture gap between west and east of China |
I got yelled at in Xi'an by calling a 30-something-year old lady "xiao jie"! She was serious pissed of when i called her that, she said I should call her"ayi" instead of"xiao jie". Later i found out that in West that Xiaojie means ladies who work in Kalaokey. So decent ladys perfer to be called "dajie" or "ayi".
But please don't call a lady" ayi" in shanghai unless she is really old or she is an ayi. |
|
|
|
|
zing
Squeeker
Joined: May 18, 2004
Posts: 17
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
May 18, 2004 - 11:26 PM |
|
|
|
 |
|
yuyu
Reacher
Joined: Dec 01, 2003
Posts: 216
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
May 19, 2004 - 05:28 PM |
|
|
that is in North of China...if you call them "ayi" or " da jie", that means you are more polite to them. but in shanghai you can call the young lady "xiao jie"...
because shanghai get its own culture...it mix the western with chinese |
|
|
|
|
|
jacee0516
Barker
Joined: Sep 05, 2003
Posts: 135
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
June 26, 2004 - 11:44 AM |
|
|
haha,,funny much..In fact,i also don't like the men/women calling me"xiaojie".I am a shanghainese girl,26 years old.I think depending on different ppl,different minds..I like someone calling my name"jacee",or "hi"it is ok to me..So ,i think in shanghai ppl minds"xiao jie"--"age 20-30","nu shi"--"age 30-45","a yi"--"age 45---",,maybe you can try ")")")haha,funny.. |
|
|
|
|
shanghaibarry
Barker
Joined: May 18, 2004
Posts: 188
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
June 28, 2004 - 08:22 PM |
|
|
try yelling out loud "Xiao Jie" when you want to call the waitress for your order in other parts of China, you will get be calling the same two words until you are starved to death. I learned it the hard way when I was in Beijing having lamb hot pot with my friends when I first came to China few years ago. I called out for the waitress using the words "Xiao Jie" for a good 5 minutes, and my friend came to my rescue and only utter the three magic words "fu wu yuan" the waitress came swiftly at once. |
|
|
|
|
|
benyu2004
Barker
Joined: June 29, 2004
Posts: 169
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
June 30, 2004 - 04:23 PM |
|
|
'xiao jie' in some places in china, particularly norht or inner might be impolite because prosititutes would called as it or its culture was still in the 80s' era...be aware of it...of course, there is no problem in shanghai.. |
_________________
What I ask for the negro is not benevolence, not pity, not sympathy, but simply justice---Frederick Douglass |
|
|
|
|
Edgewood
FooSlinger
Joined: Jan 28, 2004
Posts: 3906
Location: Colonial Shanghai
|
| Posted:
July 18, 2004 - 06:06 PM |
|
|
Yeah, most females in Shanghai are xiaojie's. |
_________________
Conlige suspectos semper habitos |
|
|
|
|
bluemoon
Seeker
Joined: Dec 28, 2002
Posts: 67
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
July 21, 2004 - 05:23 PM |
|
|
| Quote: |
I got yelled at in Xi'an by calling a 30-something-year old lady "xiao jie"! She was serious pissed of when i called her that, she said I should call her"ayi" instead of"xiao jie". Later i found out that in West that Xiaojie means ladies who work in Kalaokey. So decent ladys perfer to be called "dajie" or "ayi".
But please don't call a lady" ayi" in shanghai unless she is really old or she is an ayi. |
Thats so true, to be a shanghainese, i didn't realise that, but as i asked my collegue from shan xi, he told me, you should call those ladies there"da jie", that shows your respect and "xiao jie" is for speical working girls ! |
|
|
|
|
|
jaccllyy
Newbie
Joined: July 30, 2004
Posts: 6
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
July 30, 2004 - 02:11 AM |
|
|
Interesting. What is "fu wu yuan"? |
|
|
|
|
|
shanghaibarry
Barker
Joined: May 18, 2004
Posts: 188
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
July 31, 2004 - 03:20 AM |
|
|
Service (Fu Wu) personnel/person (Yuan) |
|
|
|
|
|
edolis
Reacher
Joined: Sep 20, 2004
Posts: 223
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Nov 19, 2004 - 01:16 PM |
|
|
Back on the matter, please.
Quoting from jacee:
| Quote: |
| "nu shi"--"age 30-45", |
well, the only items i can find in my dictionary are:
奴视[-視] núshì v. scorn sb. like a slave
怒视[-視] nùshì* v. glare/glower at
奴使 núshi3 v. enslave; keep in bondage
errr... am I missing something?
None of them looks a polite way to address to a woman in her thirties...
Can any one help us?  (maybe adding the appropriate hanzi)
thanks
PS: what about waiters? Does fu wu yuan work as well? |
_________________
Istruitevi, perchè avremo bisogno di tutta la vostra intelligenza... |
|
|
|
|
flifox
Raver
Joined: July 15, 2004
Posts: 434
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Nov 19, 2004 - 01:35 PM |
|
|
nu shi should actually be nv shi - 女士. It means lady. |
|
|
|
|
|
edolis
Reacher
Joined: Sep 20, 2004
Posts: 223
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Nov 19, 2004 - 03:47 PM |
|
|
Thanks flifox- I won't offend anyone now (hopefully  ) |
_________________
Istruitevi, perchè avremo bisogno di tutta la vostra intelligenza... |
|
|
|
|
itv1980
Low Seater
Joined: Mar 05, 2004
Posts: 3355
Location: Revalidation centre
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Nov 19, 2004 - 04:00 PM |
|
|
Funny those dictionairy mistakes  |
_________________
RRRRRRRRGGGGHHH!!! |
|
|
|
|
serend
FooJay
Joined: Aug 31, 2004
Posts: 1712
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Nov 19, 2004 - 05:23 PM |
|
|
So unless Endolis is careful to address the ladies as "nv shi" without failing, they will feel 奴使'd, or 奴视'd, and she will get hell of a lot of 怒视.
Hey, it all make sense! |
|
|
|
|
|
niko
Rocker
Joined: Aug 23, 2004
Posts: 602
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Nov 19, 2004 - 07:36 PM |
|
|
haha,then how to call a waitress?(i hear Yun nan waitress like to be called "xiao mei"(young sister),but why i should call some strangers "xiao mei"?hehe)i think no problem here.so,let's keep it on. |
|
|
|
|
flying_heart
Squeeker
Joined: Nov 19, 2004
Posts: 19
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Nov 19, 2004 - 07:41 PM |
|
|
when I was in guangzhou. every time when I was in a restrauant, I also called all the female assistant. xiao jie. miss, could I trouble u to take that skirts to me to have a look? But my cusions besiedes me is so nervous.oh no, no, she said u cant call them xiao jie, they taboo it. I asked her why, she told me oh u know do u know what xiao jie here means? I asked her what? she said in our canton xiao jie means prostitutes or some women just only do such kind of business.
oh god. i said ok I got it. but then what else title I should call them, mu cousin said u can call them liang mei. (靓妹). beautiful girl. means, they love to hear that. ok so from then on, I call those shop assistant liang mei. if male then u should call them liang di.(靓弟). no matter how ugly he really is. but u still need to call like that. so funny. that is what I learned in canton. they'd rather u call them liang mei,liang di. But I feel in my mind such kind of title sounds like countryside tone.
when I am in shanghai. cuz I am not a pretty young gal any more. I mean I have already passed that gloden time long time ago. But I still not as old as an grannny. so one day when I was in the market. one peddlery called me hey a yi, a yi, come here to have a look. ah???? oh god i was so angry. cuz I dont feel I am so old. I feel I still can be counted into xiao jie that group. hahaha so remember, in shanghai, unless she is really really very old enough. otherwise never call a lady a yi.
cuz in shanghai dialect. a yi one means auntie. the other means a polite calling to a family maid. |
|
|
|
|
|
Bellam
Reacher
Joined: Sep 06, 2004
Posts: 222
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Nov 19, 2004 - 07:46 PM |
|
|
heheeh...it's very funny, that's why sometimes they call me daijie...hah , I hate that;)
for old lady, may be we could call them taitai? no? |
|
|
|
|
|
edolis
Reacher
Joined: Sep 20, 2004
Posts: 223
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Nov 20, 2004 - 02:07 AM |
|
|
Ahhhh, we nearly need a synopsis here
you are trying hard to drive me crazy, eh! 
I start thinking that to address a waitress in China you need a coin to toss, a good amount of luck, a map, lot of friends, and possibly some kinda licence in applied 普通话.
Thanks to all the locals supporting me (very kind of you), another page of my booklet of hanzi is half filled -
just a note for the Chinese readers:
can you understand how difficult can be for a foreigner not to be rude, sometimes?
Think of my case: my mother tongue is Italian, i have to think in English, translate into Putonhua, take care of regional politeness, not to blow up in the subtle difference between nü and nu, add the tone we don't use... glarb  possibly, in the future, use Shanghaihua, too.
Learning italian must be a joke, compared to this...
Hope this helps improving just a little the general opinion about us aliens. Thanks God you are tolerant...
(Ah, I start thinking that coming to SH I'll have definitely a great time...)
By the way - what about 靓弟? Can we assume it is the universal way to address a waiter (male)?
What's the best choice for old lady (waitress) , 太太, 大姐, 阿姨, what? |
_________________
Istruitevi, perchè avremo bisogno di tutta la vostra intelligenza... |
|
|
|
|
shanghaid2
Squeeker
Joined: Nov 17, 2004
Posts: 13
Location: shanghai
|
| Posted:
Nov 20, 2004 - 02:18 AM |
|
| Post subject: What is a waitress anyway? |
wow eddis, you are learning fast!!! and a sense of humor so nice after some of the messages I have been seeing lately..
maybe the answer is just to wave your hand in the air until someone comes... no offense except or course do not point! and say xie xie a lot... our big noses let us get away with a lot of mistakes!! if in doubt anything with beautiful in it can't hurt.. and Mister for a man... works almost everywhere....
and you can also say "nemme pang" (so fat) to a lady here and it can be a compliment... unless she is young or from Shanghai...or ...
you will have a lot of fun!  |
_________________
Life is too important to take seriously. All power corrupts, but we need the electricity. |
|
|
|
|
edolis
Reacher
Joined: Sep 20, 2004
Posts: 223
Location: Shanghai
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Nov 20, 2004 - 04:50 AM |
|
|
Shanghaid2, thanks 4 your compliments. buuut...
Goooosh  ,
What's up now with my dear, simple xiexie to mean thanks ?
What do you mean by saying "of course do not point! and say xie xie a lot... our big noses let us get away with a lot of mistakes"
Is there any trap also with xie xie? in pointing? what about noses?
Ahhh, my nasty dictionary is sentencing:
谢谢[謝謝] xièxie* v. thank you (most used, thanks God!) but also...
歇歇 xiēxie r.f. 〈coll.〉 take a short rest; have a brief break (not so bad)
泄泻[-瀉] xièxiè v. have diarrhea (uh, what's this?)
屑屑 xièxiè r.f. 〈wr.〉 trifling; trivial
So I guess I also have to distinguish quite well the xie between neutral and 4th tone... but maybe this is not what shanghaid2 is talking about. 
(BTW: did you mean 那么 胖 nàme pàng? It's also a compliment in certain part of south and northwest Italy (they had some problems with famine as well, so being fat was a sort of status symbol in the 1920s-40s) - our expression is less straight, though- ["la vedo in carne"] - it's roughly "I see you well-padded". Saying "lei è così grassa" (so fat) would result in a big slap across your face... )
hmm, since we're going a bit off topic, I'm seriously thinking of starting a new thread about these tricky matters with homophones and pronounciation issues.
I think it'd be amusing for both the Chinese and laowai.s
Any opinion ? |
_________________
Istruitevi, perchè avremo bisogno di tutta la vostra intelligenza... |
|
|
|
|
BaDaXianRen
Low Seater
Joined: July 11, 2004
Posts: 3298
|
| Posted:
Nov 21, 2004 - 01:44 PM |
|
|
To be brutally honest edolis, Rudness often times will get you much better service in a chinese restaurant than politeness will. so dont worry too much. |
|
|
|
|
|
serend
FooJay
Joined: Aug 31, 2004
Posts: 1712
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Nov 21, 2004 - 05:01 PM |
|
|
Seriously, Edolis, I think this thing is turning into another urban legend. I don't think it will cause you any problem if you address the waitress in SH as xiao-jie. I do that all the time and have never received an angry look. That address is only offensive, and only carries on an unfavorable second meaning, when accompanied by a lewd look and/or silly, sophomorish snicker, such as Edgewood and BDXR here are known to punctuate their expressions with. |
|
|
|
|
|
karnex420
Raver
Joined: Mar 08, 2004
Posts: 488
Location: Shanghai, China
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Nov 21, 2004 - 05:44 PM |
|
|
Girls. That's all I really want is Girls. |
|
|
 |
|
Kiwi
Post Boaster
Joined: May 07, 2003
Posts: 4763
Status: Offline
|
| Posted:
Nov 21, 2004 - 11:07 PM |
|
|
Serund is right. . .
Never had any problems addressing waitresses as Xiaojie in Shanghai, Beijing, Guangzhou or anywhere else. I prefer it to Fuwuyuan, sounds a bit politer, more like addressing an equal who just hapens to be serving you. Fuwuyuan never sounds very friendly to me.
But like BBXR says, rudeness tends to get better service so why bother? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forum FAQ
Search
Preferences
Watched Topics
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
