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Filipino Ayi: A cautionary tale...

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froglegs

Squeeker

Joined: Sep 12, 2009
Posts: 11

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Posted: Sep 17, 2009 - 08:34 PM
Post subject: Filipino Ayi: A cautionary tale...

We've had our filipino Ayi, Cathy Lozada, for over a year. She took care of our son and our appartment and sometimes cooked for us. We really liked and trusted her and my son was attached to her. She was sweet and always very discreet and appeared dutiful.

I had paid her ticket for the phillipines this summer so she could see her family and renew her visa (Which I also paid for).

Last week she asked me if she could have her salary in advance because her son had to get surgery back home 5 iwas to find out later it was a carefully crafted lie to manipulate me into what she wanted). Being a mom and trusting (after all it had been a yr she was working with us) I gave her salary in advance and her passport so she could send the money.

She was suppose to come back on saturday to babysit in the evening. But she never came back. By sunday morning her phone was disconnected and we still had no news from her I figured out pretty quickly that she had ripped us off and left us hanging dry.

Both my husband and I work full time and no one to take care of our 2 yr old. I contacted my friend who had hired a friend of Cathy's to know how we could reach her. Ideed, our thieving nanny she still had the keys to our house!!
That friend, who was 8 months and half pregnant, told me that her filipino ayi did the same thing to her 3 weeks ago, she asked for a salary advance under a false pretext and her passport with the visa she had paid for her and disappeared. Ripping her off a couple thousand rmb, leaving her with a toddler and fully pregnant without any warning. That ayi had worked for her for 10 months...

Morality of the story: All I know is that if you are considering hiring a filipino ayi better do it through an agency who manages them and MAKE them accountable for their action or just hire a Chinese, it's much cheaper and some have already been trained by foreigners and r very good. Sadly, at the end of the day we're just milk cows to them it seems...

cantcheckemailnopw
SuperStar

Joined: Dec 27, 2006
Posts: 1481

Posted: Sep 17, 2009 - 09:45 PM

why did you need to give her salary and her passport? you were holding her passport? why would an ayi need to be discreet? how did you find out later her sons problem was a lie? her working for you was a big scam to get a salary of a few thousand RMB in advance? an agency would prevent you from getting ripped off?

froglegs

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Joined: Sep 12, 2009
Posts: 11

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Posted: Sep 17, 2009 - 09:59 PM

I found out recently and so did my friend who's ayi ripped her off and left that she left for a bigger salary somewhere else in shanghai.
In any case if someone borrows a large sum of money and then changes phone number and disappears it doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened! lol
I was holding on to her passport, so to speak, as it was in the house, in plain view, and she had given it to me in a sign of good faith since i had paid for her very expensive visa and we had no written contract.
All the agencies in shanghai know each other, and have a black list, they hold on to the passports of the ayis whose visas they have paid for, and are well connected with the police, so in case of unlawful behavior they can take action quickly. So yes a good agency is a much safer way to go if you wanna hire a filipino ayi.
And finally, to answer your question, discretion was a part of her personality trait. And yes in terms of a house helper living in your flat, I prefer a discreet helper to a really loud and intrusive one... : )

hautumncloud
LoopKicker

Joined: Nov 04, 2006
Posts: 967

Posted: Sep 18, 2009 - 05:37 AM

froglegs wrote:

I was holding on to her passport, so to speak, as it was in the house, in plain view, and she had given it to me in a sign of good faith since i had paid for her very expensive visa and we had no written contract.
All the agencies in shanghai know each other, and have a black list, they hold on to the passports of the ayis whose visas they have paid for, and are well connected with the police, so in case of unlawful behavior they can take action quickly. So yes a good agency is a much safer way to go if you wanna hire a filipino ayi.

As far as I know, Filipinos cannot work legally as ayi in China. And it is illegal for expats to hire Filipino ayis. What kind of visa did you pay for your Filipino ayi? Work permit?

Goosie

Board Grand Dame

Joined: July 16, 2003
Posts: 5492
Location: Singapore
Status: Offline

Posted: Sep 18, 2009 - 10:30 AM

Unfortunately this is fairly common. We have friends here in Singapore whose Filipino ayi got nailed for loan sharking and prostitution at Lucky Plaza. Apparently she'd been sneaking out of the house at night for months to go to her "second job".

We were blessed with a very competent, honest one. You can never be too sure with these matters, though. Desperate people do desperate things and a lot of these Filipinas have horrific stories from home. They are often supporting a lot of people on their very limited income.

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neverboring

LoopKicker

Joined: Nov 21, 2007
Posts: 923

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Posted: Sep 18, 2009 - 10:59 AM

I think the proverbial 'barrier of exit' is much more costly for a Filipina ayi than her Chinese native counterpart, in the sense that there are visa and travel considerations involved. The latter could simply take off on a train and leave you hanging just as easily without having to worry about procuring a plane ticket, retrieving her passport, etc. You'd still be left high and dry in terms of needing help in a pinch. In both instances, that salary advance would become a sunk cost as well.

Moral of the story: keep your ayi in check (compensation always in arrears, passport under lock and key, etc.) and thoroughly interview her before hiring (background and reference checks). I know it sounds harsh in some sense, but trust here is a privilege and something earned at the end of the day.

JellyBeanMum

Lurker

Joined: Jan 05, 2009
Posts: 27
Location: Luwan District, Shanghai
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Posted: Sep 21, 2009 - 03:15 PM

to Froglegs,
I feel for you and your friend. To be betrayed like that is very hurtful. Not to mention when you have toddlers and babies who need care. Are you in the process of finding a new ayi? I have always used Chinese ayi but to tell the truth, sometimes they are just equally not dependable/reliable.

alixiw

Reacher

Joined: June 19, 2009
Posts: 291

Status: Offline

Posted: Sep 22, 2009 - 02:16 PM

It's too bad that happened but as someone pointed out Filipino ayis in shanghai are illegal. period. Those 'agencies' can't get them real work visas. Just doesn't happen. IF it does, then it's very rare.

That being said, I had a Filipino ayi a few years ago, and she did the same- but she wasn't full time and I didn't give her anything- but she hit up everyone she worked for (we all knew each other and compared notes when she asked) for the same amount.

With that, and the police raids on their boarding house which took place every 2-3 months and the visa thing- it just wasn't worth the hassle. Also she had a million "cousins" who would show up instead of her- and their cleaning skills were highly questionable.

So, sadly, I think what happened to you is fairly common. Sorry to hear about yours, regardless.

Personally, I don't think they're worth the trouble. Plus they can't even speak Mandarin to deal with whoever comes by the house to fix things, etc.

alixiw

Reacher

Joined: June 19, 2009
Posts: 291

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Posted: Sep 22, 2009 - 02:18 PM

[quote="Goosie"
Desperate people do desperate things and a lot of these Filipinas have horrific stories from home. They are often supporting a lot of people on their very limited income.[/quote]

true- whether it's a Filipino or Chinese ayi.

zappy

Newbie

Joined: Sep 17, 2009
Posts: 7

Status: Offline

Posted: Sep 28, 2009 - 02:16 PM

Hello sorry to hear about your unpleasant experience with your Filipino ayi. Just a cautionary word from a Sporean where there are tons of Filipino maids around, please DO NOT trust any of them alone with your infant or young children. Try not to ask them to cook w/o supervision. You could never imagine what kind of "ingredients" they put into your food.We have seen and heard enough horror stories back home and some have actually experienced these horrible filipino maids (do not wish to elaborate on how bad they could be). Hiring a local chinese ayi is somewhat safer.

Swiss-James

Post Roaster

Joined: Jan 05, 2007
Posts: 4323

Status: Offline

Posted: Sep 28, 2009 - 04:46 PM

What do they put into the food? Eye of newt? Zombie powder?

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BeiDong

Raver

Joined: June 09, 2009
Posts: 480

Status: Offline

Posted: Sep 28, 2009 - 07:54 PM

Balut.

Seen

Reacher

Joined: Jan 14, 2009
Posts: 273

Status: Offline

Posted: Sep 28, 2009 - 09:48 PM

I'm glad that my family is blessed with a Filipina maid who has been with us for more than 15 years. We see her as part of the family and she practically watched me grew up. I miss her Sad

plattling32

Lurker

Joined: Aug 23, 2009
Posts: 21

Status: Offline

Posted: Oct 03, 2009 - 10:16 PM

I would just repeat what I wrote in another post about ayi's. I don't even want to ask myself the question if I can trust my ayi or not. I simply don't allow her to do any damage to me and my apartment. If this means watching her, so it be. Money in advance, taking care of other's children?? Are you all joking????
These people have never seen 1000 usd all together, so be very careful. You never know what desperate people are ready to do

Kirishima

Talker

Joined: Oct 22, 2008
Posts: 115

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Posted: Oct 04, 2009 - 10:54 AM

If your friend had told you, 3 weeks prior, that your ayi's mate had done a runner, then this could all have been avoided. Why didn't she do that? Plus I think hanging onto someone's passport is pretty low.

condesa

Barker

Joined: Aug 02, 2009
Posts: 160
Location: Shanghai
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Posted: Oct 05, 2009 - 02:16 AM
Post subject: Re: Filipino Ayi: A cautionary tale...

froglegs wrote:

I think holding somebody's passport is something very very crappy to do, they are your employees not your slaves, I don't care who paid for the visa......
Giving an entire month salary in advance was something really nice from you to do but as you have already found out a very naive thing as well (next time no cash advances).
I'm not certainly defending your ayi's behavior (stealing from you) but let's get real about something: they get paid a couple of thousand rmb a month for cleaning your toilet, cooking, and dealing with YOUR freaking children (I'm sure your kids are lovely), do you honestly expect them to be 'loyal' to you?, WHY?. It is a crappy job, with a crappy pay and they can get a similar crappy underpaid job anywhere else. Neither you or I will be willing to do that job for that salary (personally I wouldn't do it for any salary Wink

) loyalty is the least I would expect from a housekeeper, maybe the day I can afford to pay them 20000 rmb a month MAYBE that day we can start talking about 'loyalty' until then is not going to happen. Hey, even CEO's that get paid millions of dollars are not loyal to their companies so..... Laughing

plattling32

Lurker

Joined: Aug 23, 2009
Posts: 21

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Posted: Oct 05, 2009 - 07:32 PM

great answer condesa. do not expect anything from an ayi. sorry to say so but as you see this is the truth. she cleans, you pay, nothing more than this.
why should she be loyal?loyal to who? loyal to you for the 2000 rmb a month??

froglegs

Squeeker

Joined: Sep 12, 2009
Posts: 11

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Posted: Oct 14, 2009 - 07:55 PM

Important note: The police is actively looking for my thieving ex ayi, but they told me something alarming. Some of those filipino ayis dabble in prostitution on the week ends ( they tell you they go to church but who know s right?). Moreover, they told me that they had currently 10 similar cases to mine through out Shanghai in the last month. Please be very careful when hiring a filipino in shanghai, they might seem sweet and hard working, but in my life I've never seen people who knew ho to lie and manipulate like that... it sends chills down my spine just thinking about it.

Condesa, I dunno what planet you live on, but holding to someone's passport when you don't have and cannot have a proper work contract is the only way to go if you actually HAVE to go to work to make money and leave your kids to a caregiver, whether the care giver is chinese or Filipino, it is a common practice here. this is the way it is in China, we're not in a developped country here don't forget it you have to watch out for yourself cause their ain't no rule of law, not a real one anyway!!
Plattling I don't have the luxury of staying at home and watching the ayi... Unfortunately.

In any case you do have a point, trust should be limited.

pingu77

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Joined: Aug 22, 2008
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Posted: Oct 18, 2009 - 10:34 PM

we had a Philippino ayi once (not in China i might add)...lovely, trustworthy, loyal and the children adored her.
Never stole a thing. Paid her well and she worked well, it's generally a simple equation.

viv_part

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Joined: July 27, 2009
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Posted: Oct 19, 2009 - 05:22 PM

My advice is, learn a bit of chinese and hire a Chinese ayi, they're a lot more afraid of doing sh*t like this than the other nationalities.

Of course, you need a copy of the ayi's ID card.

froglegs

Squeeker

Joined: Sep 12, 2009
Posts: 11

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Posted: Oct 21, 2009 - 03:58 PM

pingu77 wrote:

Paid her well and she worked well, it's generally a simple equation.

Yeah I wish it was this simple, but there's always someone who's willing to pay a couple more hundred Kuai. A filipino Ayi can get anywhere between 2500 to 5000 rmb a month without icluding the visa, depending on how long she works, how big is the place ( some have 4 floors mansions/ villas wiith 2 dogs and 3 kids, you can't expect to pay the same as a small flat with no kid, for example). It's all relative, but you'll always have one guy paying a couple hundred more, and when your employee turns out to have neither loyalty nor work ethics, it's difficult to compete!!

So, no matter if I spent almost half of my salary on a visa for her and her salary, and kept her even when I was out of a job and in financial turmoil during the economic crisis this winter, because I felt I owed that loyalty to her as an employer. WHen one has no ethics, there's nothing that can be done, except never hire another filipino as long as I am in Shanghai. They are outrageously expensive and just not worth the trouble, the real only advantage is that they can speak ok English.

Viv you are right, it is possible to find good chinese ayis here, and you don't have to worry about them stealing, cause they know you can find them easely (provided that you have a copy of their ID, the police can find them in no time). If you use a serious agency, they do background checks thanks to conections through the local police. So you can be more at ease while leaving your children.
ANd Chinese have the concept of "face" which forces some kind of ethical behavior. Where as if you hire a filipino, for all you know she might have done 15 yrs in jail for homicide and you, as an employer in shanghai, have NO way whatsoever, to find out!! keep it in mind!

Bluebag

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Joined: Sep 11, 2003
Posts: 1247
Location: Shanghai
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Posted: Oct 21, 2009 - 07:00 PM

Quote:

ANd Chinese have the concept of "face" which forces some kind of ethical behavior.

I presume you're living in a different China from me. Can I come visit? Mine's full of fecking crooks.

sknil

Lurker

Joined: Oct 28, 2009
Posts: 33

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Posted: Oct 30, 2009 - 07:15 PM

filipino ayis have normal english ,have no personality.they are really maid.so they only suitable for expat family,b they do not know respect labor and ayi's personality and pay.chinese respect those in excess of west family.Of course chinese ayis respect themself by paying more to their employers.but our west persons do not understand this.

putri

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Posted: Nov 04, 2009 - 08:04 PM

viv_part wrote:

My advice is, learn a bit of chinese and hire a Chinese ayi, they're a lot more afraid of doing sh*t like this than the other nationalities.

Of course, you need a copy of the ayi's ID card.

I agree with the above post. I had 2 Phil ayis and both gave me one problem after another. I only asked them to work few hours/day with good pay - soon after they were hired, they asked to borrow money for too many different reasons, they skipped work a lot with reasons from a relatives need help, toothache (a lot!), cold....etc. didn't really clean and would gave me the "face" when I told them what to do, didn't cook at all and were on the phone for a long time every damn, single, day.

I had enough after few months and finally decided to take Chinese ayi and improve my Chinese at the same time. Over 2 years now, I still have the same, wonderful, ayi. I have nothing bad to say about having her...

2shanghai

Talker

Joined: June 08, 2009
Posts: 114

Status: Offline

Posted: Nov 04, 2009 - 10:36 PM

Copy of ID/passport, OK. Taking the passport, what??? There is rule here (some based on rule of law, other based on rule of man - the communist past certainly brings the legacy of rules and controls).

People from anywhere can be trustworthy or not (look at the corporate fraud in the US - it's not just Chinese). I've found the Chinese ayi's we've hired trustworthy (not always good/quick at cooking and/or cleaning but no reason not to trust - not that I've given them the key yet).

There are scammers but be glad that all she stole was some money.