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Beijing To Launch Anti-Smog Squad To Combat Airpocalypse

 

Writer

Jordan Harris

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In the latest attempt by China to try and stem the inevitable airpocalypse in wake of the failure of smog cannons and smog towers, Beijing has announced that will be instating a police task force who's job will be to find the source of pollution around the city and get rid of it -- presumably by vacuuming it up into their proton packs 


The smog squad will be tasked with going around the capital hunting for local air pollution sources like barbecues and restaurants with too much smoke, and handing out fines and to help keep the smog to a minimum. Which, considering that the main culprits are coal-fired factories and cars, is kind of like putting a band aid on a brain tumor. 




Fortunately, on top of this, around 500 factories will be closed and another 2,000 revamped in order to reduce emissions. They'll also be pulling 200,000 pollution-emitting vehicles off the road. Here's hoping the smog-busters will be enough to prevent the city from heading for "a disaster of biblical proportions." 




Related: 400 Henan Students Forced To Take Test Outside During Airpocalypse



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