When you first decide to start a new business, you usually get a lot of advice about the brilliance of your idea (consensus: it sucks), about how to structure a company in China (pay money to lawyers), and about the difference between cash flow and income (they're not the same).
But most people will avoid talking about the mind game that goes into starting a company. That's either because they're too polite to mention the fact that you seem insane and totally unqualified to manage a company, or because they assume that you've already got it figured out.
Occasionally, you do get people talking about staying motivated, about forcing yourself to get up in the morning and do work, even though nobody is making you, and you don't feel like it.
Motivation is important, but it is only part of the picture.
Have you heard of something called bipolar disorder? Its a clinical condition, in which people suffer giant mood swings. One day, they're super hyper, full of energy, making rash decisions like crazy people. The next, they can barely move, they're depressed, and life is not worth living.
Since entrepreneurs – especially those starting their first companies -- have so much of their self-worth tied up in their businesses, these mood swings are as common as lattes and iPhones.
In China, entrepreneurs often don't have their usual support system to rely on, either. Family and friends are far away, and entrepreneurs might be embarrassed to admit to people here that they're having problems.
Fortunately, there are solutions, even in Shanghai.
PEER TO PEER
If you prefer the peer support route, start a business mastermind group. Typically, three to seven people in non-competing businesses would get together once a week or once a month and talk about the issues they're facing in their companies. Some have structured agendas, others provide a free-form venue to air frustrations and ask for advice.
If you'd rather not spill your feelings to people in Shanghai, join a virtual mastermind group, formed of entrepreneurs in other areas.
Whether face-to-face or virtual, mastermind groups are a great way to relieve some of the stress of being an entrepreneur, as well as to make life-long friendships and valuable business contacts.
PERSONAL BOARD
A more formal alternative to a mastermind group is a board of advisors. Meetings can be formal – weekly or monthly – or informal one-on-ones over coffee. The only topic of conversation is you and your company.
What do the advisors get out of it? Some enjoy seeing a company getting started, or are considering starting a new business of their own and would like to learn more about the process before they jump in. They want to see all the mistakes you're making – so they can avoid them later. Others simply like the validation of being asked for advice and may even allow you to put their names and photos on your website.
If you meet someone informed and competent, don't hesitate to ask. You'll be amazed at the amount of advice you can get, at no cost, from experienced professionals who want to see you succeed.
THE PROFESSIONAL
If your problems are serious – or might become serious if allowed to progress unchecked – you may want to see someone on a more professional basis. A shrink, a counselor, or a coach, depending on the degree of medication and psychotherapy you are looking for.
The Shanghai Community Center can refer you to English-speaking counselors at a variety of price points. Shanghai boasts high-end therapists, who work with senior executives, and charge accordingly as well as some equally competent but more flexible counselors who work on sliding scale, based on your income.
I personally recommend these guys highly – they were extremely helpful when my marriage hit the skids a few years back. They didn't save the marriage (it was pretty hopeless) but I learned a lot of skills that I've seen been able to use in business. Title for a future book: “Everything I Know About Business I Learned in Marriage Counseling.”
Shanghai also has an abundance of business coaches. Ask around for recommendations, and pick someone you feel comfortable with, and who has a background that will be useful for your business. Some coaches are former executives who have been through all the issues you're facing now, and can help you through them. Others have years of experience counseling people in your situation, and can tell you what worked for others.
Even coaches who are completely new to the profession, having just completed their certifications, can be valuable if all you're looking for is a sounding board, a safe place to vent, or a shoulder to cry on.
THE SELF-HELPER
Self-help books often get a bad rap. Some of it is deserved – most are completely useless. But some are great. The problem is you're not going to know which is which except by trial and error, since what works for other people might not necessarily work for you.
Back when we first started marriage counseling, the therapist recommended some books, and those books led to other books, and eventually I ended up with “Feeling Good” by Robert Burns.
I am a big fan of making lists and creating spreadsheets. This book uses a cognitive therapy approach to teach you how to manage moods. I won't give away too much, except to say: it involves lists. I love this book, and try to keep a copy with me wherever I am. This is not easy, since I keep giving it away to people.
If you're in a bad mood and can't shake it, feel hopeless, like the rest of the world is against you, pick it up. Chaterhouse might have it or, if not, they'll order it for you. The sequel, “The Feeling Good Handbook,” covers much of the same ground.
For short-term mood problems caused by business stress, this is a great alternative to medication.
BOOZE
Sure, cognitive therapy, board of advisors, mastermind groups – they all sound good, in theory. But, in practice, many entrepreneurs turn to the old standbys for mood management: sex and alcohol. In Shanghai, there's plenty of both.
I know some entrepreneurs who spend most of their free time in bars. The problem with this solution is that its temporary. Once the alcohol wears off, the one-night stand goes home, and the chocolate cake is all eaten up – you're right back where you started. Except you're fatter, with a weak liver and an STD.
I'm not saying that I've been there, and done that. Okay, I've been there, and done that. Who hasn't?
But think of it this way. Your mood – whether manic or depressed – is a business problem. Would you solve your other problems by throwing a party and hoping the problem goes away?
Eventually, you have to stop and face the music: cut costs, or fire the malingering employee, or call the client and admit your mistakes and offer up your plan to make sure they never happen again.
The solution is often painful, but you'll feel better once you take your medicine and get it over with.
So call the coach, therapist, or that peer support group. Admit your problems. It will be painful the first time you do it. In fact, even going through a checklist in Burns' book is painful the first time.
In fact, now that I think about it, the feeling is very similar to that call to a client to admit I screwed up.
Hmm. There's probably a deeper meaning in there. I'll have to discuss this with my mastermind group.
Maria Korolov Trombly is founder and president of Hong Kong-based Trombly Ltd., which runs editorial news bureaus around Asia. Trombly Ltd.'s BrainTrust Editorial division provides corporate communication services such as press releases and white papers. And the China Speakers Bureau is the largest speakers' agency in Greater China, representing over 300 speakers and experts on topics such as economics and business, culture, and technology.
Finally the Expo tickets were unveiled! They are as tiny as a credit card, come in 9 different colored categories, are English-Chinese bilingual and full of high-tech and anti-forgery technology. 180000 tickets were sold to eight domestic governments and corporations by the Expo organization yesterday. Have a look at shanghai daily for more information.
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