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sbergman
StreetBeater
Joined: Sep 12, 2007
Posts: 2354
Status: Offline
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 Posted:
Dec 20, 2007 - 12:55 PM |
 
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| Post subject: Inventions for China |
What inventions does China need?
I'd like to see:
A shoe washer/disinfector
Something that causes a car horn to be as loud inside the car as it is outside
Silencers to quiet people who insist on talking all the way through performances |
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LifeMage
Post Roaster
Joined: Sep 30, 2005
Posts: 4435
Location: In the world...... but not of it.
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Dec 20, 2007 - 12:58 PM |
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a smoke detector / sprinkler system for elevators.
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_________________
visit my flickr page |
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mat
Shanghai Royalty
Joined: Apr 26, 2004
Posts: 9029
Location: Loooooooooooose!
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 12:58 PM |
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| Quote: |
Something that causes a car horn to be as loud inside the car as it is outside
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Absolute genius. |
_________________
www.justbeer.cn Get a Blondie into you! |
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shanghaiceltic
Shanghai Royalty
Joined: Sep 20, 2005
Posts: 8134
Location: Perth WA
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 01:42 PM |
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Something on buses, cars, trucks and bikes that prevents them crossing on a red light. |
_________________
I have parrallel bars at home, one for gin and one for whiskey |
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shanghaiceltic
Shanghai Royalty
Joined: Sep 20, 2005
Posts: 8134
Location: Perth WA
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 01:43 PM |
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Supermarket trolley warning system, they drive their trolleys like they do their cars..... |
_________________
I have parrallel bars at home, one for gin and one for whiskey |
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travelinjack3
FooJay
Joined: Sep 19, 2005
Posts: 1764
Location: Right Bank
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 01:50 PM |
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Laser cannon monitored queues so that jumpers are blasted. May also work on a sound targeted system for phlem spitters.
A breath mint that also eliminates excess phlem.
Self draining and disinfecting sidewalks for crap and urine from kids and cabbies.
A mattress that isn't made of concrete.
A HEPA filter the size of Jinmao Tower. |
_________________
If the billy goat was Bootsie and the troll was Maceo, then only the Godfather of Soul can really take you to the bridge. |
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GeoffOz
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 28, 2005
Posts: 2793
Location: Lost in Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 01:52 PM |
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An umbrella with a special attachment that dislodges those irritating footpath scooter riders as they beep at you to make room for them. |
_________________
The secrets of this Earth are not for all to see, but only for those who will seek them... |
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MyNameIsPablo
StreetBeater
Joined: Sep 06, 2007
Posts: 2455
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 02:04 PM |
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A computer chip that prevents Chinese people from asking the following questions:
Do you like China?
Do you like Chinese food?
Are you know how to use chopsticks?
Do you marry?
How much do you earn?
Do you have how many children?
You like Chinese girl? |
_________________
Quiet - Or Papa Spank. |
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GeoffOz
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 28, 2005
Posts: 2793
Location: Lost in Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 02:18 PM |
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Or even a computer chip that has been preprogrammed to give equally non-sensical answers to all those questions... |
_________________
The secrets of this Earth are not for all to see, but only for those who will seek them... |
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MyNameIsPablo
StreetBeater
Joined: Sep 06, 2007
Posts: 2455
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 02:25 PM |
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An electric suit that protects the wearer but issues a sharp electric shock (not fatal) to any person that barges using any unnecessary force. A pressure guage could be fitted to prevent slight 'bargees' from getting shocked. A computer operated camera could be fitted so that any person trying to get on a subway train or into a lift while the wearer is trying to get off/out would be issued with such an electric shock that they become completely disabled temporarily and lose complete control of their bowels. |
_________________
Quiet - Or Papa Spank. |
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findus
Fire-eater
Joined: Feb 03, 2004
Posts: 2520
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 02:44 PM |
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Testicle clamps fitted to driver's seats, directly linked to the car horn so that one beep equals one clench.
Auto-erecting popcorn dispensers that keep the chirpy onlookers satisfied by sensing when there are accident victims dying in the middle of the road and dispensing afore-mentioned popcorn, payed by the taxpayer for the taxpayer's ultimate pleasure knowing that they are once again better than someone else.
Aural implant that detects the incoming racket of a spit/girl-on-mobile/drill and converts the sound into more pleasing sounds. |
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Andreas
Shanghai Royalty
Joined: Feb 27, 2004
Posts: 9140
Location: s/v Waratah
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Dec 20, 2007 - 03:57 PM |
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Devices that convert lies and bullsh1t into electricity. After that we could tear down the Three Gorges Dam, and a few others. |
_________________
How do you make a small fortune? Start with a big fortune, and buy a boat. |
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sbergman
StreetBeater
Joined: Sep 12, 2007
Posts: 2354
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 04:28 PM |
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This is even more fun than I thought it would be. I'm instituting the Better than Chopsticks Award for the best invention. Winners will receive a copy of "Fireworks Before Noon on Sunday: 5,000 Years of Chinese Inventions and How They've Been Used to Annoy Our Neighbors." |
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SirFiddler
Board Legend
Joined: Mar 30, 2004
Posts: 11621
Location: Very close to a bottle of chilled Boags
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Dec 20, 2007 - 04:45 PM |
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Chinglish-English and English-Chinglish versions of babelfish |
_________________
Special offer at Cuvee : Bring your business card and get a free punch |
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GeoffOz
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 28, 2005
Posts: 2793
Location: Lost in Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 04:53 PM |
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| SirFiddler wrote: |
| Chinglish-English and English-Chinglish versions of babelfish |
I need you over here Fidds!
hahahahahahaha... |
_________________
The secrets of this Earth are not for all to see, but only for those who will seek them... |
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SirFiddler
Board Legend
Joined: Mar 30, 2004
Posts: 11621
Location: Very close to a bottle of chilled Boags
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Dec 20, 2007 - 04:56 PM |
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getting exhausted of rolling all these joints ? |
_________________
Special offer at Cuvee : Bring your business card and get a free punch |
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GeoffOz
Fire-eater
Joined: Apr 28, 2005
Posts: 2793
Location: Lost in Shanghai
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 04:59 PM |
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| SirFiddler wrote: |
| getting exhausted of rolling all these joints ? |
But I also appreciate you for your mind, not just your hands... |
_________________
The secrets of this Earth are not for all to see, but only for those who will seek them... |
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MyNameIsPablo
StreetBeater
Joined: Sep 06, 2007
Posts: 2455
Status: Offline
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Dec 20, 2007 - 05:03 PM |
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His mind? Surely that left ages ago.
A trap door at the top and bottom of escalators that if a weight is upon it for too long will open and release the offender into a huge vat of liquidised shiit. |
_________________
Quiet - Or Papa Spank. |
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guel27
Board Royalty
Joined: Oct 10, 2005
Posts: 7621
Location: iwahig
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Dec 20, 2007 - 07:33 PM |
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A laser that will execute anyone who will not spit in the right place. |
_________________
umamin ka na kasi, halata naman e |
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DesertSpider
Post Boaster
Joined: Jan 19, 2007
Posts: 4725
Location: SHANGHAI, CHINA
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Dec 20, 2007 - 07:35 PM |
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SnappySammy
Board Buddha
Joined: Nov 01, 2007
Posts: 13143
Status: Offline
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Dec 21, 2007 - 12:05 AM |
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Large breast |
_________________
Yank My Doodle It's A Dandy |
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guel27
Board Royalty
Joined: Oct 10, 2005
Posts: 7621
Location: iwahig
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Dec 21, 2007 - 09:21 AM |
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and butt |
_________________
umamin ka na kasi, halata naman e |
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DesertSpider
Post Boaster
Joined: Jan 19, 2007
Posts: 4725
Location: SHANGHAI, CHINA
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Dec 21, 2007 - 09:27 AM |
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CoffeeHawk_0
Board Deity
Joined: July 14, 2005
Posts: 17977
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Dec 21, 2007 - 09:28 AM |
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diesel powered chopsticks |
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guel27
Board Royalty
Joined: Oct 10, 2005
Posts: 7621
Location: iwahig
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Dec 21, 2007 - 10:28 AM |
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heavy duty heater |
_________________
umamin ka na kasi, halata naman e |
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