Hi,

I'm hoping to get some insight and advice.

Our situation: I'm looking at a possible transfer within my company from a position in Calfornia to a new position in Shanghai. My wife and I have 3 children. One of them has a speech delay so he sees a therapist 3 times a week.

Problem: The new position has tremendous upside for my career, but my wife is very nervous about moving to Shanghai. She's never lived out of the US and has concerns about schooling not only for our speech delayed child, but also the two older ones as well. Additionally, she's concerned about how tough it will be for everyone to adjust to living in Shanghai.

Any advice or help out there? Was anyone faced with similar concerns before moving to Shanghai?

Thanks in advance.

Hello,

There are plenty of good international schools here in Shanghai but they're pretty expensive so you'd better get an allowance for that from your employer. The therapy is another story. That may be difficult.

In my mind it would clearly be an advantage for your children to get the valuable experience that living in China would bring. Certainly that would give them an advantage over most American kids especially given the state of education in the US these days. I'm from California and I would like to convince my wife to come over here with our 7 year old daughter-- but no way.

Its surely going to be an adjustment for everyone but in the end you'll all be better for it.

moving to a new country is such a tremendously challenging experience, i can't imagine what it's like to have the additional concern for your child who needs special attention.

i've moved from california to hong kong to singapore to switzerland and then now here in shanghai, and each time it's been hard work.

it can be a real cultural shock. however, shanghai can surprise you. think of all the stereotyping you've read about it - and it's mostly that - but in a fast-changing, frantically modernized, desperately weternized mode.

there is a resonably big expat community, so you don't need to feel alone. you will make friends, lots of them, quickly.

if it's good for your career, think seriously about it. it's the place to be, the market is only going up and forward.

if they are keen to have you, you must ask for a 'look-see' trip. come for a one-week visit. we did that in february, and i prepped beforehand with property agents to look at housing, made appointments with several schools for my son, and a host of other 'investigative' visits, like what the supermarkets are like, and whether there are good sports clubs, churches, expat associations, etc.

just remember there are like hundreds of thousands of expats here, with over 120 expat clubs representing many countires. can't be that bad.

theres' an american school, and other international schools. can't address your concern about your speech-delayed child (is there a medical term?), but when you get here, check out the facilities. i remember when we were living in singapore, my husband's colleague had a daughter who was about 13 and was deaf. she attended regular school, but her mom had to go each day for a few hours to sign everything.

check out the special needs therapists available, and maybe work out what is the minimum you can accept in terms of your child's needs. the truth is probably that it's never going to be as adequate as what they offer back home. but is the alternative okay for you. if you are more specific, maybe the folks here can ask around and let you know what is available.

bottom line, it's a pretty interesting place, lots of potential. it's not as pretty tho!

CaliforniaFamily,

Greetings! I am a Speech Language Pathologist in the United States and I will be moving to Shanghai at the end of December to join my fience who relocating there for his company. I have been in touch with a Speech Language Pathologist at the Shanghai Children's Medical Center (she is actually from the United States). She may be someone to search out if you do relocate to China. You are more than welcome to contact me as well, although I'm not sure how soon you will be relocating. My current email is jesscypher@hotmail.com Good luck with your decisions!

Maybe speaking Chinese will recircuit the delay, if it is really imortant. They thought Einstein had a problem for years when he was young because he spoke so slowly. "Deep water runs slowly". Maybe society needs the therapy.
I always like finding books by renegade authors who may show me the other side of the coin even if I don't agree with what they say 100%. Don't let anyone give your child drugs to cure "learning disabilities".