Hello, We're a two-dad family moving to Shanghai from New York City. We'll be living in the Pu Dong district and our 9 year old son will be attending one of the international schools in the area. I was interested to know if any school already has a two-dad or two-mom family. Which of the schools do you think would be the most welcoming to our family? Which of the schools really welcome diversity? Please, no haters here. Thanks.

If you do not find 2D and 2M families why not consider single parent families. Single woman were allowed to adopt (girls), in China, prior to a rule change. There are a number of mom/daughter families.

Really? How many of those kind of families in China I wonder?

2dads wrote:Hello, We're a two-dad family moving to Shanghai from New York City. We'll be living in the Pu Dong district and our 9 year old son will be attending one of the international schools in the area. I was interested to know if any school already has a two-dad or two-mom family. Which of the schools do you think would be the most welcoming to our family? Which of the schools really welcome diversity? Please, no haters here. Thanks.

Concordia and Yew Chung espouse religious moral values and therefore might pose a challenge for your situation; of course they could also welcome you with open arms but I wouldn't expect it. In truth, I would "market" (for lack of better word) your son first and then bring up your family situation. There are a few non-religious choices in Pudong - SAS, SCIS, BISS, SMIC, Dulwich.

Good luck!

Yup. Good advice from ship abt the schools. I have a feeling Concordia maybe more religious which is one of it's attractions as well. The list of schools given are accurate and would be good to shoot a mail to the admission officer of these and get their feedback on it. I would hope they are open minded about your family's unique situation.

All the best.

Adrienne

I am not sure how relevant this even is. I could be married to Djingis Khan and the school community wouldn't know because my spouse never shows up at school functions. The school welcomes the student, the parents are just attachments. Are you worried about the acceptance of your son by his peers, or of your ability to get involved in the school?
Just as an idea - uniform schools are maybe less interested in diversity? Or am I off there?

I don't quite get either what religion in Int schools in China have to do with it...

I'd think the whole country's taboo towards gays would be a bigger challenge...

chingiskhan wrote:

badabum wrote:I am not sure how relevant this even is. I could be married to Djingis Khan and the school community wouldn't know because my spouse never shows up at school functions.

Is that a proposal? If it is, the answer is YES!

It wasn't a proposal but this is China - change is everywhere! Would YOU go with me to school functions?!

chingiskhan wrote:I'm not religious so maybe someone can explain this one to me. I thought religion is supposed to teach tolerance and acceptance to others, so why is it that the more religious schools are less likely to embrace a gay couple?

At the risk of being hanged, where did you learn that religion teaches tolerance and acceptance of others? The only major one I know preaches that is Buddhism. All other major religions I know of are pretty exclusive of those who do not believe.

StMichael wrote:where did you learn that religion teaches tolerance and acceptance of others?

Personally, I learned that at Sunday School. But then, I'm a Unitarian, so we hardly count, right?

Klick wrote:
Personally, I learned that at Sunday School. But then, I'm a Unitarian, so we hardly count, right?

Hahaha, I suppose so!

chingiskhan wrote:I'm not religious so maybe someone can explain this one to me. I thought religion is supposed to teach tolerance and acceptance to others, so why is it that the more religious schools are less likely to embrace a gay couple?

For the simple reason we (catholics) dont consider a gay couple, a valid one. I respect them, but im sure they can have their own school.

The family situation is not the issue, nor do I think the school choice is a problem. Any from the list would be OK.
Children are very adaptable and will learn to settle in most places if the parents are consistent and model positivie attributes. Only children sometimes have trouble in social settings when they are young because they are just not used to having to compromise.

chingiskhan wrote:

traveler2 wrote:

chingiskhan wrote:I'm not religious so maybe someone can explain this one to me. I thought religion is supposed to teach tolerance and acceptance to others, so why is it that the more religious schools are less likely to embrace a gay couple?

For the simple reason we (catholics) dont consider a gay couple, a valid one. I respect them, but im sure they can have their own school.

A school just for the gays. Excellent idea.

Why not? There are schools for chineses, for western people, muslims, catholics, jews, why not one for gay people?

traveler2 wrote:

chingiskhan wrote:I'm not religious so maybe someone can explain this one to me. I thought religion is supposed to teach tolerance and acceptance to others, so why is it that the more religious schools are less likely to embrace a gay couple?

For the simple reason we (catholics) dont consider a gay couple, a valid one. I respect them, but im sure they can have their own school.

Traveler, when you suggest gay couples should have their own school, you invalidate your claim that you respect them. I'm guessing that irony flies way over your head.

so who's the boy's mom?
wonder how he deals with that

Buzzd wrote:

traveler2 wrote:

chingiskhan wrote:I'm not religious so maybe someone can explain this one to me. I thought religion is supposed to teach tolerance and acceptance to others, so why is it that the more religious schools are less likely to embrace a gay couple?

For the simple reason we (catholics) dont consider a gay couple, a valid one. I respect them, but im sure they can have their own school.

Traveler, when you suggest gay couples should have their own school, you invalidate your claim that you respect them. I'm guessing that irony flies way over your head.

I dont respect them? Its your thinking, i respect it, but i must say you are wrong.

abc1 wrote:so who's the boy's mom?
wonder how he deals with that

You're not a clever one are you?

Seriously Traveler, you respect them?

"For the simple reason we (catholics) dont consider a gay couple, a valid one. I respect them, but im sure they can have their own school."

You don't consider their union valid, and then tell him he should create (? or whatever) his own school. Yeah, right. That sure sounds like a heck of a lot of respect. For your information, traveler, gay marriage is a legal union in Spain and Mexico (both predominantly catholic).

I love religion. Always preaching tolerance and acceptance of diversity. Shame on you Traveler.

When I chose a school for my kids I didn't consider if the other parents would like me. I don't get why it should be such a big deal in this case. Personally, I wouldn't care if the next dad I meet lives alone or with his cat, his father, his male spouse or two female ones - it's simply none of my business. Just do it!

chingiskhan wrote:I'm not religious so maybe someone can explain this one to me. I thought religion is supposed to teach tolerance and acceptance to others, so why is it that the more religious schools are less likely to embrace a gay couple?

Dear Chingis,
religion is about fear and obeying. Considering that people have been killing each other because of religion for the past 1000 years I will say the 'tolerance' doesn't rank that high.

The 2dads are wanting practical information. As expats you know what it is like to wonder about the place you are moving to and even more a concern if your child/children wondering will have a good life here. To the dads and emphatic yes.
Do not worry there are lots of inclusive schools and plenty of fascinating things to do in Shanghai. It's like an asian New York.

Adrienne as usual is a helpful voice of help and VIC the one to rub faces in their biased turds of comment.

But finding the right school could pose quite a problem. I'm sure it must be quite difficult if the child's classmates finds out he has two dads, but in ultra-conservative Shanghai he could find himself with a whole slew of sh1t to deal with.

Gay people are still considered freaks here. Prepare yourselves for that. Just when you think you're talking to someone in this town that's open-minded and liberal about certain things in the world you find you're actually dealing with a very closed-minded peasant who absolutely fears anything 'different'.

It's will be OK, there are families, not lots but some that are not representative of the traditional woman/man and two kids. Shanghai is a place where everyone can find whatever they want some of the time.
If 2D's are set for the move they should be oriented to the inclusive side of things and it's not as if they wont have come upon negative judgement in their lifetimes.
Pudong is family oriented especially in the areas where the schools are located.

I could even see a straight couple where SHE's the working expat and HE stays at home would be noticed at an International school here, and HE might feel uncomfortable in his role. In Europe, I often saw dads doing the coffee mornings, reading groups, or being 'class dad' - here, never a male in sight, gay or straight.

2Dads: Do you guys have to live in Pudong?

bbc74 could provide usual insight seeing this is her turf...