A Chinese friend sent me a link to a wedding photo
http://www.douban.com/photos/photo/1204974977/
average Chinese opinion thinks the girl is fat and ugly(on the left), and the guy is cute(on the right, not the old one next to the bride). So... obviously this attracted quite some jealous and hateful comments.

OK I also pasted a Western counterpart which generated the same opinion above.
Luke Worrall and Kelly Osbourne

(in my opinion, Luke is definitely cute, Kelly is not pretty but ok with makeup and good dressing)

Some people tend to think this guy overlooks the appearance and this is true love, but my friend said Westerners think Asians all look similar and they can't tell who is good looking or who is not, that makes Chinese think Westerners got "bad"taste ... What do you think?

I dont think this is true, I would recognize Bruce Lee if I saw him.

Oh, and she is not THAT bad + he is not THAT good looking. Works fine IMO

MadeInPoland wrote:I dont think this is true, I would recognize Bruce Lee if I saw him.

Maybe you've seen many of his movies so you remember his face? Do you generally have difficulty attaching names to Asians faces than Western faces?

MadeInPoland wrote:Oh, and she is not THAT bad + he is not THAT good looking. Works fine IMO

Ok... see you do have different opinions compared to average Chinese view!

I think those who have nothing nice to say should keep their mouth shut. I also think the relation between the guy and the girl is their personal affair and others should mind their own business.

Personally, I think she looks sweet and she might have a heart of gold. A smart man would recognize a keeper when he sees one

js.2011.04 wrote:I think those who have nothing nice to say should keep their mouth shut. I also think the relation between the guy and the girl is their personal affair and others should mind their own business.

Personally, I think she looks sweet and she might have a heart of gold. A smart man will recognize a keeper when he sees one

Yeah I agree. Though personally I don't think she's "pretty" but I believe she must have something inside, and this leads her to a happy marriage. She's lucky to have that. More important than appearance.

Terrible thing to say about the girl from other jealous girls(I'm assuming the catty comments came from females).

IMHO, same level of attractiveness for both parties.

caisbitter wrote:Terrible thing to say about the girl from other jealous girls(I'm assuming the catty comments came from females).

IMHO, same level of attractiveness for both parties.

I guess guys wouldn't get jealous.. but they might think she's fat and ugly.

AnnieTC wrote:

caisbitter wrote:Terrible thing to say about the girl from other jealous girls(I'm assuming the catty comments came from females).

IMHO, same level of attractiveness for both parties.

I guess guys wouldn't get jealous.. but they might think she's fat and ugly.

Why wouldn"t guys get jealous??? Guys might not necessarily think she is fat and ugly.

Emotions are not gender-assigned. Attractiveness is subjective.

To be honest, he is not that cute and she is not fat and ugly.

I'm pretty sure there's something about her that captivates the guy. Looks is not everything.

hahahha. for awhile there i thought the groom was the old guy standing next to her. need awhile to process the whole picture.

AnnieTC wrote:

MadeInPoland wrote:I dont think this is true, I would recognize Bruce Lee if I saw him.

Maybe you've seen many of his movies so you remember his face? Do you generally have difficulty attaching names to Asians faces than Western faces?

Nope, none difficulty what so ever. I have problems remembering names! But that goes to both Chinese and western ones. Annyone saying that Chinese ppl look all the same are basicly lying or ignorant.

AnnieTC wrote:

caisbitter wrote:Terrible thing to say about the girl from other jealous girls(I'm assuming the catty comments came from females).

IMHO, same level of attractiveness for both parties.

I guess guys wouldn't get jealous.. but they might think she's fat and ugly.

She has some extra pounds, but thats easy to fix if one has problems with it. The face it's self aint ugly.

I think western taste is just different to chinese taste.
I think she is ok looking and he is ok looking so a good match (maybe 7/10 each).
I think your chinese friends overestimate the guys cuteness.

I think she is ugly, but to marry somebody there are many more criteria to consider.

GoingMad wrote:hahahha. for awhile there i thought the groom was the old guy standing next to her. need awhile to process the whole picture.

me too

caso wrote:I think she is ugly, but to marry somebody there are many more criteria to consider.

I wouldn't say that she is ugly just very 'plain' (and the guy is not much better) and yes a little bit chubby as well. On top of that their styling doesn't help any of them.

I agree with you Caso there are other considerations for a happy 'long lasting' marriage other than looks.

condesa wrote:

GoingMad wrote:hahahha. for awhile there i thought the groom was the old guy standing next to her. need awhile to process the whole picture.

me too

same here

I also thought the old guy is the groom. Been in China too long... Anyway, she is not pretty by any standard. Of course he is no Adonis either, but chinese people tend to overestimate western people's looks to a pathetic degree.

js.2011.04 wrote:

AnnieTC wrote:

caisbitter wrote:Terrible thing to say about the girl from other jealous girls(I'm assuming the catty comments came from females).

IMHO, same level of attractiveness for both parties.

I guess guys wouldn't get jealous.. but they might think she's fat and ugly.

Why wouldn"t guys get jealous??? Guys might not necessarily think she is fat and ugly.

Emotions are not gender-assigned. Attractiveness is subjective.

I was assuming the AVERAGE Chinese opinion based on their usual comments.

I added a bit description since people had a bit trouble to recognize the groom.

None of the people in that picture are good looking.

Neither one is particularly attractive to me, but there's more to love than just a pretty face.

If you've been around the block a few times you know of women (if you're a guy) or guys (if you're a woman) who didn't look very good when you first met them, but seemed to get better over time. Likewise, I'm sure you've met very attractive people who ended up looking unattractive after you found that they were "ugly on the inside".

Perception of attractiveness is subjective. Think of that "once in a lifetime" great meal you remember from a fantastic vacation. The truth is that your perception is influenced by the context and your mood. Restaurant pros call it the "vacation effect". It's very real.

Some not-so-attractive women can look strikingly beautiful at the "happy-ending" moment. This is a look you'll never see if you haven't been intimate and in love with them. But once you see that look of bliss, she'll look much better to you every moment of every day.

caso wrote:I think she is ugly, but to marry somebody there are many more criteria to consider.

Paisan, I agree she is not pretty, or even cute, but as you said looks are only one thing...more can she cook?

Annie, that's you? Congratulations!

rickettyrabbit wrote:Neither one is particularly attractive to me, but there's more to love than just a pretty face.

If you've been around the block a few times you know of women (if you're a guy) or guys (if you're a woman) who didn't look very good when you first met them, but seemed to get better over time. Likewise, I'm sure you've met very attractive people who ended up looking unattractive after you found that they were "ugly on the inside".

Perception of attractiveness is subjective. Think of that "once in a lifetime" great meal you remember from a fantastic vacation. The truth is that your perception is influenced by the context and your mood. Restaurant pros call it the "vacation effect". It's very real.

Some not-so-attractive women can look strikingly beautiful at the "happy-ending" moment. This is a look you'll never see if you haven't been intimate and in love with them. But once you see that look of bliss, she'll look much better to you every moment of every day.

I pretty much agree with RR, as usual.

As people move through the decades of life, if they get a chance to go around the dating experience in each decade it is hard, after 45, to find anyone attractive physically in the first instance. It's more like looking at the other person and thinking well they are not unattractive. Then the person "grows" on you because given time you see the beautiful aspects of them, not just the surface, also how well you fit together as people. The surface becomes less important while the inner person and your relationship with that is paramount.

This happens between long term married people as well but at least they most likely fell in love in the first instance when they found each other attractive.
Sometimes I see long term marrieds where one of the two has aged much better or stayed attractive while the other has not but they still appear to be in love.

It's true, what may have struck you as something "out of place" about someone's features when you first met them, can over time turn into endearing features that you love. I know of people who have hated something about themselves for the longest time and have had it fixed, much to the disappointment of their significant other.

As for the couple, I would rate them even too. The western guy really isn't as astounding as most of the locals seem to think he is. He's certainly not my cup of tea, although that may be down to the fact that he looks about 19 more than anything. Try to look beyond the white skin and brown/blonde hair. If he got a damn haircut and stopped trying to look like a member of a boy band it would help his case.

beenaroundworld wrote:Annie, that's you? Congratulations!

Obviously NOT, I NEVER publish my picture online.

OP he's a little, not a lot, better looking than her, by my western standards but we cannot judge how well they fit together as people. For instance how alike they are in values and temperament and in those important areas and others they may be very closely matched. Your friends, making the cruel comments, need to look beyond surface values when it comes to what makes a couple happy in the longer term.