Ridiculous Moments in China – What’s Yours?

by **ShanghaiExpat Editor** » Tue Jan 31, 2012 10:51 am

Attention SHEXpat community! Regardless of cultural background, reason for living in Shanghai, age or gender, every expat has at least one China related story to tell. This week sees the official launch of the ShanghaiExpat Ridiculous Moments in China. Post your favourite Ridiculous, AAAHHH CHIIINAA! Moment below, whether it is competing for a place in a line, attempting to deal with the banks or a general street side observation. The aim is to celebrate our cultural differences through humour and observation, so keep your tone light; this is not a chance to bag on the wonderful city and culture in which we have each found a home. Get writing and let the moments begin!!

by **custer** » Tue Jan 31, 2012 12:46 pm

Every single moment of every day spent outside my apartment is a 'ridiculous moment' - ranging from bizarre to ludicrous to insane. This place is the exact reverse of everything we take for granted and trust in in the West - and what can be more ridiculous than that!

by **TIC** » Tue Jan 31, 2012 1:13 pm

I could write a book full of examples...

However, from the top of my head.

Our cat fell/jumped out of the window last week, 6th floor. Couldn't find him inside in the morning so went to the guards to check, they said someone found him, put him in a box and threw him in the trash at the other side of our compound..

Thanks neighbouring Chinese, my cat was still ALIVE! Next time please do not throw away any found living creatures simply because you dont want to waste any time or money making sure it gets better. Eventually found her in the trash, rushed him to the hospital and eventhough it took an operation, x ray and a monthly salary (thank you Shenpu), he's doing allright now.

And this was just last week..

by **tihZ_hO** » Tue Jan 31, 2012 4:32 pm

^ Well they didn't eat your cat, so you should feel lucky

by **tylerdurden** » Tue Jan 31, 2012 4:44 pm

tihZ_hO wrote:^ Well they didn't eat your cat, so you should feel lucky

Sorry to derail the thread a bit, but...

hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Normal programming resumes now...

by **QNMD** » Tue Jan 31, 2012 4:54 pm

custer wrote:Every single moment of every day spent outside my apartment is a 'ridiculous moment' - ranging from bizarre to ludicrous to insane. This place is the exact reverse of everything we take for granted and trust in in the West - and what can be more ridiculous than that!

Maybe Chinese see u with same view...

by **tylerdurden** » Tue Jan 31, 2012 5:04 pm

QNMD wrote:
custer wrote:Every single moment of every day spent outside my apartment is a 'ridiculous moment' - ranging from bizarre to ludicrous to insane. This place is the exact reverse of everything we take for granted and trust in in the West - and what can be more ridiculous than that!

Maybe Chinese see u with same view...

I doubt that. More like, the sight of us fills them with loathing, tinged with envy.

Except for the girls, who feel excitement.

by **QNMD** » Tue Jan 31, 2012 5:28 pm

tylerdurden wrote:I doubt that. More like, the sight of us fills them with loathing, tinged with envy.

Except for the girls, who feel excitement.

Believe me... I am Chinese

by **tihZ_hO** » Tue Jan 31, 2012 5:41 pm

QNMD wrote:
custer wrote:Every single moment of every day spent outside my apartment is a 'ridiculous moment' - ranging from bizarre to ludicrous to insane. This place is the exact reverse of everything we take for granted and trust in in the West - and what can be more ridiculous than that!

Maybe Chinese see u with same view...

That's what is so funny!!

by **Subeide** » Wed Feb 01, 2012 4:41 pm

The other day in the evening I saw what I thought was a lady walking 2 dogs, one very small, the other a bit bigger with short legs. They didn't have a leash on. When she came closer and I actually looked at her I realised that the bigger animal was a pig. Nice one, in the middle of the French Concession.

by **johnny_tropicana** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 2:16 am

QNMD wrote:
custer wrote:Every single moment of every day spent outside my apartment is a 'ridiculous moment' - ranging from bizarre to ludicrous to insane. This place is the exact reverse of everything we take for granted and trust in in the West - and what can be more ridiculous than that!

Maybe Chinese see u with same view...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^This....is the most ridiculous thing, right here.

by **johnny_tropicana** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 2:16 am

Subeide wrote:The other day in the evening I saw what I thought was a lady walking 2 dogs, one very small, the other a bit bigger with short legs. They didn't have a leash on. When she came closer and I actually looked at her I realised that the bigger animal was a pig. Nice one, in the middle of the French Concession.

Where did you think the term "pig farmer" started?

by **johnny_tropicana** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 2:18 am

QNMD wrote:
tylerdurden wrote:I doubt that. More like, the sight of us fills them with loathing, tinged with envy.

Except for the girls, who feel excitement.

Believe me... I am Chinese

Would you have us feel sorry for you?

by **mizuchi** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 10:12 am

johnny_tropicana wrote:
Subeide wrote:The other day in the evening I saw what I thought was a lady walking 2 dogs, one very small, the other a bit bigger with short legs. They didn't have a leash on. When she came closer and I actually looked at her I realised that the bigger animal was a pig. Nice one, in the middle of the French Concession.

Where did you think the term "pig farmer" started?

Israel. no wait Somalia. no Turkeinistan. hang on errrr errrr Israel, is it? i knew it.

by **Danielm103** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 12:37 pm

Here is one, I went to the ticket counter at longyang to get on the last maglev of the night to Pudong, I showed my itinerary to the gal hoping to get my 10rmb discount . My flight departure time was 00:15.. she said, sorry, your flight departure must be on the same day to get the discount ... I said, may you receive a bad perm that burns all your hair off

by **rickettyrabbit** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 12:41 pm

johnny_tropicana wrote:
Subeide wrote:The other day in the evening I saw what I thought was a lady walking 2 dogs, one very small, the other a bit bigger with short legs. They didn't have a leash on. When she came closer and I actually looked at her I realised that the bigger animal was a pig. Nice one, in the middle of the French Concession.

Where did you think the term "pig farmer" started?

Central Asia, southern Turkey and Iran, about 10,000 years ago. I remember it like it was yesterday. We laughed at the farmers then, too.

by **qwer** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 12:57 pm

a mountain sized lao wai standing on side of road in pudong. he was round, like a plate.
i go omg... now this would be shock to the average local even tho they know laowais are fat.
but this one... was like a whale in a pig farm. D

by **Danielm103** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 1:17 pm

qwer wrote:a mountain sized lao wai standing on side of road in pudong. he was round, like a plate.
i go omg... now this would be shock to the average local even tho they know laowais are fat.
but this one... was like a whale in a pig farm. D

with a hottie China girl on earch arm, and a pocket full of sweaty RMB :lol:

by **TIC** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 1:20 pm

Danielm103 wrote:Here is one, I went to the ticket counter at longyang to get on the last maglev of the night to Pudong, I showed my itinerary to the gal hoping to get my 10rmb discount . My flight departure time was 00:15.. she said, sorry, your flight departure must be on the same day to get the discount ... I said, may you receive a bad perm that burns all your hair off

Call her manager and make her lose face in front of him.

TIP: when u use your 'public transport card' to get in the maglev, you pay 40 rmb standard, no mattre if you;re flying or not.

by **RobinA** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 3:37 pm

only too many.. but now I'm use to it, don't even feel anything anymore.

by **Verbal Kint** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 3:57 pm

The guy "coordinating" the taxi queue at Pudong Airport. He asks every passenger that arrives to the front of the line where he is going. He then points to the next available taxi. What is the point of that? Is it for the off-chance that someone replies "Chengdu city center", in which case he will send them back into the airport building?

by **QNMD** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 4:30 pm

Verbal Kint wrote:The guy "coordinating" the taxi queue at Pudong Airport. He asks every passenger that arrives to the front of the line where he is going. He then points to the next available taxi. What is the point of that? Is it for the off-chance that someone replies "Chengdu city center", in which case he will send them back into the airport building?

You would realize you have no chance to sit in a taxi if without this coordinating guy in China.

by **Verbal Kint** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 4:45 pm

You seem to miss the point. I am not doubting he is useful for putting otherwise uncivilized people in a line. What I don't understand is why he asks everyone's destination, as if the answer would change anything. Got it?

by **Polito** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 5:03 pm

''I said : may you receive a bad perm that burns all your hair off ''

ah ah ah brilliant !
I must learn this one !

by **TIC** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 5:07 pm

Verbal Kint wrote:You seem to miss the point. I am not doubting he is useful for putting otherwise uncivilized people in a line. What I don't understand is why he asks everyone's destination, as if the answer would change anything. Got it?

I've also always wondered... maybe the guy is just overly curious?

The coordinator at longyang road station does that as well. I hope they tell the tourist to not pay more than xx for their destination but i doubt it.

When they ask me, I usually keep my face straight and tell them i need to go to Spain.

by **expatguy1** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 5:09 pm

I tell them I am going back to his house to bang his wife, I smile and look forward. He is always very accomidating with a taxi

by **Verbal Kint** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 5:28 pm

He also asks foreigners in chinese. I am pretty sure around 95% of foreigners arriving at Pudong airport can't understand him.

I like your overly curious explanation, he he! I doubt he warns about the fare. Seriously now, I think he feels his job description doesn't satisfy his burning ambition, so he throws something extra in the mix

by **tihZ_hO** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 6:24 pm

Verbal Kint wrote:He also asks foreigners in chinese. I am pretty sure around 95% of foreigners arriving at Pudong airport can't understand him.

Sure, but its the same as any airport staff in the US would speak English. I get your point though as in Jakarta taxi staff would switch to English upon seeing a bule (laowai).

Face it, with the majority of Chinese English and western culture is not part of anything in their life or lifestyle and never will be. Laowai are tolerated, not accepted.

by **mizuchi** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 7:23 pm

^ barely.
I'd say its more akin to the scene in 'Twilight'- the reaction of pure revulsion Edward has when Bella sits next to him in class.
I dont discrminate. I hate all foreigners.

by **tihZ_hO** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 8:05 pm

^ haha

ok

...barely tolerated

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