For some of my friends in the forum, you will probably know that I always advocate the preschool my 3 years old daughter is attending, 3&3 Bilingual school near Gubei.

As a teacher, I think have chosen a good school for her. We are Singaporean, so being Bilingual is very important for us. Futhermore, this is a school with very good curriculum and great facilities.

However, my precious little one seems to have very serious problems after studying in Singapore Montessori school (which I feel is very good too) recently for 3 month during her long holiday back home.

It has been almost a month since she is back to her school. But she still cried herself to school almost everyday. She told me that she doesn't want to go to her Shanghai school anymore. I asked why and she said that her school speaks Mandarin and she doesn't like it.

So question is... On an educational stand, she come to Shanghai one year ago with almost zero knowledge in Mandarin. Now, she can converse so well in Mandarin and she still maintain her standard in English. Even her Singapore school told me that both her English and Mandarin is well above average in Singapore standard and they place her in a 5 years old class.

But, I am very worried that if this continues on, this will kill her interest in studying and going to school.

Ummm....maybe the guru here can advise me if I should place her happiness above education by changing to an English Medium school?

did you ever thought it could be something else than school that is bothering her? and she just do not want to tell you?

stranger things have happened. it could be many things happening outside the school, or in the school but having nothing ot do with it?

did you investigate?
may be you should ask her, what is the problem and make sure she tells you the truth and the whole thing.

i do not want to sound too pessimistic, but it is an eventuallity, that something is happening.

i hope it will be fine, but check it out you never know

Very good point. Have you dug any deeper to see if it's something else. Teachers attitudes, etc. Coming back from 3 months at a free and easygoing Montessori school to a more structured Chinese style may be tough.

If it is the language, try convincing her that Chinese is 'cool' speak it more at home. From what you say I can't imagine your child has a real problem with the language, more likely it is her perception.

Hi Racheal,

I think me-myself raises a valid and important issue. I also have a 3-yr old and find that she comes up with all sorts of excuses when she doesn't want to do something or doesn't want to tell me what is really bothering her. I am not saying that your little one is making excuses but because of the issue raised by me-myself I think you should check it out.

The other thing is that your little one is only three. On one hand I would say let her have fun......'school' at this age should be about learning thru play and having fun (as you would know). If she favours English at this stage let her go to a school with an English medium. Who knows it may only be a phase and she may grow out of it. Also like you say you don't want to make school a chore....especially at the early stages. If you are worried about her Mandarin maybe speak only Mandarin with her at home to maintain her standard.

However on the other hand, she may be using the 'crying' to get her own way and test the boundaries (if so she sounds like a very headstrong young lady). In this case you may want to persevere and be firm with her and she may relent.

Try to keep the bigger picture in mind...will it matter in the long run, if you put her in English or Mandarin schooling now?

Just some thoughts.....it's not easy I know and good luck....

Definitely she likes the school in Singapore more than the one here.

RachaelLau wrote:For some of my friends in the forum, you will probably know that I always advocate the preschool my 3 years old daughter is attending, 3&3 Bilingual school near Gubei.

As a teacher, I think have chosen a good school for her. We are Singaporean, so being Bilingual is very important for us. Futhermore, this is a school with very good curriculum and great facilities.

However, my precious little one seems to have very serious problems after studying in Singapore Montessori school (which I feel is very good too) recently for 3 month during her long holiday back home.

It has been almost a month since she is back to her school. But she still cried herself to school almost everyday. She told me that she doesn't want to go to her Shanghai school anymore. I asked why and she said that her school speaks Mandarin and she doesn't like it.

So question is... On an educational stand, she come to Shanghai one year ago with almost zero knowledge in Mandarin. Now, she can converse so well in Mandarin and she still maintain her standard in English. Even her Singapore school told me that both her English and Mandarin is well above average in Singapore standard and they place her in a 5 years old class.

But, I am very worried that if this continues on, this will kill her interest in studying and going to school.

Ummm....maybe the guru here can advise me if I should place her happiness above education by changing to an English Medium school?

Rachel, you should give yourself a pat for taking the time to talk, listen and consider your daughter's feelings. This is a tough one. Bear in mind that relocation and changes are as tough on young children as for adults. In most cases, the myth of "children adjust so fast" is just it - a myth. Eventhough I gather your daughter went back just for the summer, it still does take adjustments for her. Holiday back home stirrs up quite a long of missed stuff, memories, happy times, relatives etc. As they are little, most times, they themselves don't know what is wrong and cannot express it. Also, they really don't have a choice if they want to stay in China or go back home.

As a parent, you have to weight it out, to rough this one out or do a drastic change. Fortunately her age is on your side.

I strongly suggest you talk to the staff/teachers at the nursery school and work as a team to help your daughter. When there is consistency in the help and support that your daughter experience everyday around her, she will come round.

All the best.