Hello!

Our Ayi spends every day about an hour in the bathroom. Half hour in the morning and half hour at night. I'm not sure if she does this because she needs to use the toilet or because she's bored and likes to look at herself in the mirror. Is this normal?

By the way, we live in a small compound with 6 building. Do you think they might have a bathroom for the Ayi to use?

Thanks for the respones!

sounds like your ayi is a woman.

Depending on what her living circumstances are like, she might just be availing herself of the fact that there is hot running water indoors on tap, and 'freshening up' a bit.

pineapple wrote:By the way, we live in a small compound with 6 building. Do you think they might have a bathroom for the Ayi to use?

I think you need to watch The Help, the Oscar-nominated movie that's out just now.

Humac wrote:

pineapple wrote:By the way, we live in a small compound with 6 building. Do you think they might have a bathroom for the Ayi to use?

I think you need to watch The Help, the Oscar-nominated movie that's out just now.

LOL

pineapple wrote:Hello!

Our Ayi spends every day about an hour in the bathroom. Half hour in the morning and half hour at night. I'm not sure if she does this because she needs to use the toilet or because she's bored and likes to look at herself in the mirror. Is this normal?

By the way, we live in a small compound with 6 building. Do you think they might have a bathroom for the Ayi to use?

Thanks for the respones!

Be firm and tell her the bathroom is for doing no1 or no2 and not for anything else. It doesn't matter if the compound has facilities or not, that is not your concern. Your Ayi is hired by you to do a job and only that. Don't feel bad about this, you already treat her much better than most Chinese employers would.

The absolute worse thing you can do is start to treat your Ayi as a member of the family. The quality of the work will go down and eventually you will need to fire her. Years of experience speaking with a Chinese wife.

You know, I've been entertaining the thoughts of getting an ayi, too. I mean, I'm busy but not too busy to do chores and jobs, but generally prefer to cook for myself so she needn't do that.

But if a lady (or a guy) spends too much time in the can, tell them. Keep it simple in that you don't know what they're doing in there, but unless they're either doing a number 1, a number 2, or cleaning, then you don't know why they should spend so much time in there. If they're done all their chores and their time's not up, just say they can leave, and either pay them up to the hour or don't.

Sure, it's a service, and sure they get treated better than in most other forms of employment (unless tihZ_hO is her boss ), but don't let them take the pi$$ (unless it is actually a pi$$ that she's taking). Be firm, but not rude.

I'd shudder at the thoughts of having someone I pi$$ed off having full access to my apartment.

Brokentime wrote:You know, I've been entertaining the thoughts of getting an ayi, too. I mean, I'm busy but not too busy to do chores and jobs, but generally prefer to cook for myself so she needn't do that.

But if a lady (or a guy) spends too much time in the can, tell them. Keep it simple in that you don't know what they're doing in there, but unless they're either doing a number 1, a number 2, or cleaning, then you don't know why they should spend so much time in there. If they're done all their chores and their time's not up, just say they can leave, and either pay them up to the hour or don't.

Sure, it's a service, and sure they get treated better than in most other forms of employment (unless tihZ_hO is her boss ), but don't let them take the pi$$ (unless it is actually a pi$$ that she's taking). Be firm, but not rude.

I'd shudder at the thoughts of having someone I pi$$ed off having full access to my apartment.

haha

Treating our Ayi like a member of the family just doesn't work. As I said, we went through so many Ayis until the key was to treat them as an employee, spell out exactly what was expected of her to clean and do in black and white and it worked, being fair, but firm. It is very common for Chinese to not even allow the Ayi to drink the household water, she must bring her own and her own cup. Keep in mind I heard this FROM Chinese who scolded us for being so stupid with our Ayi. So there you go.

I'd shudder at the thoughts of having someone I pi$$ed off having full access to my apartment.

Forget about that, the things they do when they aren't pissed off will shock you as we found out and this was from Ayis we treated as members of our family. Yes, we had suspicions and we tested their integrity. Web cams can tell a lot!

tihZ_hO wrote:

Brokentime wrote:You know, I've been entertaining the thoughts of getting an ayi, too. I mean, I'm busy but not too busy to do chores and jobs, but generally prefer to cook for myself so she needn't do that.

But if a lady (or a guy) spends too much time in the can, tell them. Keep it simple in that you don't know what they're doing in there, but unless they're either doing a number 1, a number 2, or cleaning, then you don't know why they should spend so much time in there. If they're done all their chores and their time's not up, just say they can leave, and either pay them up to the hour or don't.

Sure, it's a service, and sure they get treated better than in most other forms of employment (unless tihZ_hO is her boss ), but don't let them take the pi$$ (unless it is actually a pi$$ that she's taking). Be firm, but not rude.

I'd shudder at the thoughts of having someone I pi$$ed off having full access to my apartment.

haha

Treating our Ayi like a member of the family just doesn't work. As I said, we went through so many Ayis until the key was to treat them as an employee, spell out exactly what was expected of her to clean and do in black and white and it worked, being fair, but firm. It is very common for Chinese to not even allow the Ayi to drink the household water, she must bring her own and her own cup. Keep in mind I heard this FROM Chinese who scolded us for being so stupid with our Ayi. So there you go.

I'd shudder at the thoughts of having someone I pi$$ed off having full access to my apartment.

Forget about that, the things they do when they aren't pissed off will shock you as we found out and this was from Ayis we treated as members of our family. Yes, we had suspicions and we tested their integrity. Web cams can tell a lot!

In my experience no matter how well the ayis start out it always turns sour after a couple of years, either with a drop in work output, work quality or some big argument or other. I remember when I first moved here I knew a guy who'd been here for 10 years and he told me that ayis were more trouble than they were worth,I thought this was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard, I see his point now.

We fired the last good ayi we had when she got angry with us about how some things we'd done were wasting her time etc and started telling us how we should do things to suit her. Which reminds me, I remember one of my work colleagues (English guy, 50 years old) telling me one time about his ayi dragging him into the bedroom when he got home from work, pointing at some clothes he'd thrown into the bottom of the wardrobe and then wagging her finger and saying "NO". Why he didn't fire her on the spot I'll never know (I think he secretly liked that kind of treatment..)

In the end, after 7 years of having various ayis (we went through five or six in about the last six months and quickly let them go for everything from laziness, inability to actually clean and in one case because we found her rooting through a suitcase in the spare room) we decided to just to see what it's like without one. I can honestly say our apartment has never been cleaner and once you get back into the habit of doing your own cleaning it's no big deal..

sorry, back to the question of the topic as to what your ayi is doing in the bathroom. Honestly nothing would surprise me but yeah I guess the best bet is that she's either cleaning up using your fancy toiletries (try hiding them all for a day and see if she still does it), having a nap, or making phone calls to her family.

Simple answer as we used to have one that did that
She is killing time for an hour, they are lazy and its like one of those "light at the end of the tunnel" things like lunch where she doesn`t have to work for awhile
She is probably having a big poop and giving herself a brazillian with your razor and using your best facials too.
My one used to spend an hour to peel 4 potatoes or 4 carrots just so she could sit down.
Sacked the bitch in the end

Jesus, sounds like they're a nightmare.

Brokentime wrote:Jesus, sounds like they're a nightmare.

sometimes yes.. on the other hand they're cheap and there are good ones out there.

I just remembered, we fired on ayi after about 2 visits when we realised she was using one cloth (the dishcloth) to clean the entire apartment, toilets/kitchen surfaces/dirty dishes, the whole lot!

boywonder wrote:I just remembered, we fired on ayi after about 2 visits when we realised she was using one cloth (the dishcloth) to clean the entire apartment, toilets/kitchen surfaces/dirty dishes, the whole lot!

Barf, dude, seriously

Thanks for all your advice.
I guess I'll be straight about it and give her a talk.

By the way, what you guys are saying is so truth. I feel that the nicer we treat her the slower she works.

It will be easier (and less fun) for us to get use to be firm with her than for her to get used to work well when treated nice.

I can't stand "whinging about the help" threads.

Clean your own **** apartments.

Subordinate Claws wrote:I can't stand "whinging about the help" threads.

Clean your own **** apartments.

People have a right to complain if it's a service they pay for. If it was free, that'd be different.

What's next? You don't like people complaining about food? What is your advice there? "Cook your own **** food?"

Brokentime wrote:

Subordinate Claws wrote:I can't stand "whinging about the help" threads.

Clean your own **** apartments.

People have a right to complain if it's a service they pay for. If it was free, that'd be different.

What's next? You don't like people complaining about food? What is your advice there? "Cook your own **** food?"

I couldn't agree more with that BT

No one mentioned Ayis doing the laundry which they generally suck at too. Ayis are colour blind so they mix mix colours with whites and they can't smell mildew. In the summer, how many Chinese reek of mildewed clothes? It's as if its a Chinese cologne or perfume...

tihZ_hO wrote:

Brokentime wrote:

Subordinate Claws wrote:I can't stand "whinging about the help" threads.

Clean your own **** apartments.

People have a right to complain if it's a service they pay for. If it was free, that'd be different.

What's next? You don't like people complaining about food? What is your advice there? "Cook your own **** food?"

I couldn't agree more with that BT

No one mentioned Ayis doing the laundry which they generally suck at too. Ayis are colour blind so they mix mix colours with whites and they can't smell mildew. In the summer, how many Chinese reek of mildewed clothes? It's as if its a Chinese cologne or perfume...

Ah yes, I'm the proud owner of many dirty grey "white" t-shirts..

Another thing that always wound me up about them is that they'd insist on washing dishes under a running cold tap rather than a basin full of water, using a couple of squirts of washing up liquid per item (I used to wonder why I'd have to buy a big tub of washing up liquid every month or two)... I'd show them how I wanted it done but they'd never actually do what I wanted...

I did briefly propose hiring a Filipino Ayi (possibly hired at Manhattens), but the wife saw straight through that plan.....

boywonder wrote:
Ah yes, I'm the proud owner of many dirty grey "white" t-shirts..

In their defense, that's partly the fault of the shitty shanghai water.

Try spending some money on a softener/filter and see how much it improves

Subordinate Claws wrote:I can't stand "whinging about the help" threads.

Clean your own **** apartments.

boywonder wrote:
Another thing that always wound me up about them is that they'd insist on washing dishes under a running cold tap rather than a basin full of water, using a couple of squirts of washing up liquid per item (I used to wonder why I'd have to buy a big tub of washing up liquid every month or two)... I'd show them how I wanted it done but they'd never actually do what I wanted...

This is not a particular Chinese thing though.
At Chinese university, my Korean classmates / dorm mates found it hilarious that I would boil water (no running hot water in the common kitchen) would put it in a large plastic bowl and then wash my dishes in it They told me that this way of dish washing is not hygienic at all

I agree with that. You are dipping the dishes in dirty water after a while. Running tap with hot water for me (not eco-friendly, I know)

No. No, no.. You soak the dishes in hot soapy water, then clean, rinse if you're desperately concerned..

boywonder wrote:No. No, no.. You soak the dishes in hot soapy water, then clean, rinse if you're desperately concerned..

Yep, as you said hot (the hotter the better) soapy water and a running water rinse. This is how (not in China) restaurants clean dishes when they don't go through the dishwasher.

NorthernLights wrote:

boywonder wrote:
Ah yes, I'm the proud owner of many dirty grey "white" t-shirts..

In their defense, that's partly the fault of the shitty shanghai water.

Try spending some money on a softener/filter and see how much it improves

Yep, but was was referring to pink, formally white underwear and bed linen.

No one else has a whinge about mildew??

tihZ_hO wrote:No one else has a whinge about mildew??

mildew

you owe me one innit

The best way is you ask her directly. Try to communicate with her, get the answer from her. you must establish a trust system with your Ayi, nobody wants to keep a Ayi cannot be trusted at home, right?

boywonder wrote:

tihZ_hO wrote:No one else has a whinge about mildew??

mildew

you owe me one innit

Thank you