hey guys. your collective advice would be great, it's another 'am i in a good position to make the move to shanghai' question. here's my situation:

I'm a 24 guy from London. I graduated 2 years ago with a 1st class degree in visual communication. I work in an advertising agency and have 2 years of work experience.

My g/f is chinese and has just moved back to shanghai to be with her family. therefore i already have a room waiting for me in their nice apartment.

My chinese skills are intermediate. i've learnt with books and cd's for about 6 hours/wk for the last 18 months.

Her brother has his own company so i could initially work there and get the work visa i need to enter the country right?

i'm assuming that international company transfers are less common than they used to be. therefore i may have to quit my job and get a new one in china. do i need to widen my options beyond my chosen field in order to become more employable?

overall, my mind is made up about going. it just need to know how people feel about the move - a bad idea? is it possible for a young foreigner to thrive in shanghai?

JamesLeeWhite wrote:is it possible for a young foreigner to thrive in shanghai?

You life depends your income which depend your IQ and that is AS IS.

So, all depend on you. Welcome to China !

I'm doing a similar thing at the end of the month so hopefully it will be a good idea. I'm initially enrolling in language school as I have been pretty hopeless at learning Chinese while I have been in Australia.

I don't know about living with you girlfriends family though it might get a bit overwhelming. I have stayed with my fiancées' parents a couple of times. While they are lovely people it can be very hard to get any time alone. Also they always were putting a lot of pressure on us to get married and start producing grandchildren.

He has his own place now so I am hoping that I will have a bit more personal space this time.

i see what you're saying about the personal space. what i never mentioned was that her parents live in xian, the shanghai place is their second home so we would only be living with my g/f's brother and his wife. the parents still claim the main room though, which tells me they'll be making quite a few visits!

how far did you get learning chinese on your own?

ive was in same situation as you, but you probably been doing the mandariun study more than me, other than that, defo same position as i was.

I would say quit your job, and come over here and work for her bro since you will be family anyways. i am guessing that you making the commitment to be over here for her so she must be the one!!

its stil a big step though to leave your family in uk, but its an oppotunity which you have to take!!

Romeolo888 wrote:ive was in same situation as you, but you probably been doing the mandariun study more than me, other than that, defo same position as i was.

so what situation was you in? are you living in shanghai now?

Assuming your brother-in-law is allowed to hire foreigners, so you can get your Residency permit.
If not, maybe he could invite you for an F visa and pay you cash in hand (illegally) or even get a spousal L visa and work illegally for him. Or find a legal job.

JamesLeeWhite wrote:i see what you're saying about the personal space. what i never mentioned was that her parents live in xian, the shanghai place is their second home so we would only be living with my g/f's brother and his wife. the parents still claim the main room though, which tells me they'll be making quite a few visits!

how far did you get learning chinese on your own?

Not very far. I have the basics (at the "hello, goodbye where is the toilet" level) and about 40 characters.

JamesLeeWhite wrote:hey guys. your collective advice would be great, it's another 'am i in a good position to make the move to shanghai' question. here's my situation:

I'm a 24 guy from London. I graduated 2 years ago with a 1st class degree in visual communication. I work in an advertising agency and have 2 years of work experience.

My g/f is chinese and has just moved back to shanghai to be with her family. therefore i already have a room waiting for me in their nice apartment.

My chinese skills are intermediate. i've learnt with books and cd's for about 6 hours/wk for the last 18 months.

Her brother has his own company so i could initially work there and get the work visa i need to enter the country right?

i'm assuming that international company transfers are less common than they used to be. therefore i may have to quit my job and get a new one in china. do i need to widen my options beyond my chosen field in order to become more employable?

overall, my mind is made up about going. it just need to know how people feel about the move - a bad idea? is it possible for a young foreigner to thrive in shanghai?

bad, bad, bad, idea. You may be having a good time with a chinese chick, but does that mean you want that kind of commitment at 24 years old?.
Chinese people are very 'special' and I don't necessary mean it in the nice way. If you move with your in-laws I guarantee you that they will be pressuring you 24/7 for you to get married if that is what you want then go for it.
In your shoes: I would find a job first then move to China. I would live by myself and take things from there.
If you move with in-laws and work for brother in-law well you are basically screwed on all fronts.
Take this advice from an 'older' fart like me, it is not wise to mix sex with business - EVER.
Good Luck to you !!!

This is excellent advice by Condesa. Looking at the OP's post, it looks like he is planning to come to Shanghai for the wrong reasons, and it looks like a setup for disaster actually. Better to find the right job first, and lay the base to be able to look 100% after yourself.

Can't believe anyone would actually want to live with their in-laws...
It's not even a bloody option mate....

Get to Shanghai. Find your own place somewhere. Get a job that does not include working for the brother in-law...

Shanghai girl whose family could afford to send her to study abroad? My 'Shanghai Princess' alarm bells are ringing, be careful, dude.

Oh, and living with Chinese parents would be a REAL issue. I mean a REAL issue.

24, 2 years work experience, sounds like no experience of the world. Dude, get exploring places (and Shanghai) before committing to what is essentially (in the gf's and the gf's family's eyes) marriage.

Andreas wrote:This is excellent advice by Condesa. Looking at the OP's post, it looks like he is planning to come to Shanghai for the wrong reasons, and it looks like a setup for disaster actually. Better to find the right job first, and lay the base to be able to look 100% after yourself.

how do you mean, wrong reasons?

I have to say after living here for 10 years I would seriously listen to condesa's advice.

JamesLeeWhite wrote:

Andreas wrote:This is excellent advice by Condesa. Looking at the OP's post, it looks like he is planning to come to Shanghai for the wrong reasons, and it looks like a setup for disaster actually. Better to find the right job first, and lay the base to be able to look 100% after yourself.

how do you mean, wrong reasons?

Sorry, my fault for being not more clear. What I mean is that it seems your coming to Shanghai is mainly to follow a girl and her family, than because you make an active choice to come to Shanghai as part of a career plan. Don't get me wrong, I did not want to come along as patronizing.

What I mean to say is, if you are serious about going to Shanghai, try to land a job in Shanghai while you are in the UK. Chances to find something while you are here are slim, plus it won't be in the job range that gives you a reason to come here for a living, rather than to stay where you are.
Whatever you do, I hope it works out for you!

Cheers,
Andreas

j

I'm sure you've asked yourself this...but why does your girlfriend not come to London? Makes much more sense, at least you have a job there. And you'll avoid the Chinese in-laws problems which, I hear, can be major.

Andreas wrote

Sorry, my fault for being not more clear. What I mean is that it seems your coming to Shanghai is mainly to follow a girl and her family, than because you make an active choice to come to Shanghai as part of a career plan. Don't get me wrong, I did not want to come along as patronizing.

What I mean to say is, if you are serious about going to Shanghai, try to land a job in Shanghai while you are in the UK. Chances to find something while you are here are slim, plus it won't be in the job range that gives you a reason to come here for a living, rather than to stay where you are.
Whatever you do, I hope it works out for you!

Cheers,
Andreas

News_by_KKO wrote

^I live with the Chinese wife and family here and its okay but I would seriously listen to the above people. ^

You could ruin a perfectly great life opportunity by moving into a nightmare Shanghainese social disaster that is called "culture".

OP basically you will be somewhat screwed, and (co)dependent on others, and while you've likely had a blast with your Chinese gf there on ol' London town, and will likely have a great time in Shang-hers, it can turn pear shaped pretty darn quick! Don't get hooked into working for the bro... while it might sound all nice and fuzzy... TIC This is China, everything here (and every Chinese in it) are just for looking, for nothing is as it seems (just scratch beneath the veneer), beAware the smoke and mirrors. Yep, cynical but like many who have been many years, we know the reality of China and it's so called 5000 year culture.
Earthworms provide more culture! At least their excrement is useful...

Well, its going to be a new experience for you. Good or not, nobody knows. I find it hardest to integrate culturally and to adapt to the kind of things they eat so I suppose that might be a challenge for you too. I find cultural integration difficult even though I am ethnic chinese, so I suppose a true blue non-chinese would find it even harder? I am not sure. But yeah, life is all about new experiences, why not?

I agree with the above that its a shithole here full of trash you don't see elsewhere but hey, don't take our words for it. Find out for yourself.

I lived with my GF's family before. It was fine. The next time I came, I lived alone, but looking back it was better living with her parents. You can always try it out for awhile. Believe me, when moving halfway around the world to a place as strange as Shanghai it's nice not to be left on your own from day 1! I would suggest NOT sharing a room with your gf (perhaps her parents won't allow it anyway??). This will help decrease the "you must get married" pestering from the family. It'll also send the message that you're serious about dating, not marriage. And there's nothing wrong with working in her brother's company. Odds are you'll be a lot better taken care of than if you work outside of the family. Besides, dating, marriage, family, and business are expected to overlap here. Do a good job and build your relationships with her family, it'll help you out in the long run.

U will come to shanghai and realize u could have 12 girlfriends twice as attractive as your present gf.

so have ur own set-up or just use her gaff till u get the new crop into a steady rotation.

Ha Ha. Funny.

Do NOT live with your rellies.
Do NOT work for your rellies.
You WILL be screwed.
DO make your own life here.
DO enjoy this wonderful place.

[quote="

I'm a 24 guy from London. I graduated 2 years ago with a 1st class degree in visual communication. I work in an advertising agency and have 2 years of work experience.

[/quote]

I do not want to sound mean here but as others have said you have no experience you are a baby who is looking to follow a piece of tail to an unknown land. you will be unable to get a job other than English teacher, and you will have major visa problems.
And to live with a Shanghai girl and her parents WOW shot me in the head please. You need to know something about Chinese families. The Father Will only work until he is 55 then it is up to you to provide for everyone. Even if the family has some money you will not see it. It will be put aside to pay for your child’s education.

I can go on and on but if you have not grasped my drift by now.

DO NOT DO THIS

London is a fantastic place, can't you make her stay with you there? Why would she want to leave?

^^The vast majority of Chinese overse3as students return to China after their studies. There are two reasons for this: 1) The racist and sexist immigration policies of many Western countries make it extremely hard for Chinese, especially women, to immigrate unless they get married to a local while in the country, and even then it's extremely hard. 2) And didn't you know? China is the centre of the world! Why would anyone not want to come back here? (And this is where their families are... the building blocks of their culture and their reason for living... filial piety anyone??)

Just guess if London unwelcome Chinese, Indian, Pakistan pipl. Very hard to get a job for them.

Some new regulations: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8489349.stm

"The UK Border Agency has temporarily suspended student visa applications from northern India, Nepal and Bangladesh after a jump in numbers."

^^Exactly! I don't see the UK denying Dutch or French people from coming! I guess they have the right skin color and the right eyes?

Canada's the same. My German gf could come to visit or immigrate whenever she pleased, but just to allow my Chinese gf to visit for one week required she have at least 5 years work experience with the same Chinese company in China, a letter from her employer and a $15000 deposit made by me to the Canadian government! Needles to say, my Chinese gf never got to see Canada, but my German gf made many trips. "Oh Canada, the true North strong and free(edit, as long as you aren't a Chinese woman! )"

or if you have a boyfriend who has $15000.......

My suggestion:
come over for two weeks, get some kind of separate place. Tell your GF, she can see here parents, but the two of you must have a separate life.(Then you will see a side of her you didn't know existed)
Take all the other advice to heart.
I would never recommend living with relatives, anywhere mate!
Personally having live in London, and the north of the UK, at your age, shanghai is going to be big disappointment.
Best of Luck.