Looking for a Midget Butler

by **The Jaguar** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 10:34 am

The Jaguar Club is looking to employ a male midget/dwarf to act as our
in- house butler starting October 2009.
Food and Lodging will be provided.
Hanchback a plus.

by **crivens200** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 10:38 am

Can Pixies apply?

by **mat** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 10:38 am

Serously Jag, you are not all there mate.

Will keep an eye out for one though.

What other qualifications do they require, and can you provide more details of the job description.

Do they have to cook, clean, scrub your back? Is musical ability required?

by **Swiss-James** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 10:39 am

by **The Jaguar** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 10:52 am

It s not for a Party.
He will be our full time Butler.
Knowledge of Poetry is appreciated as well as musical instruments.

by **The Jaguar** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:08 am

Very large shoulders...i dont think he will fit the Esky.

by **Cambronne** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:31 am

Good efficient moderation this days!

by **Cambronne** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:32 am

(and my sincere apologies to the mod team and good old Mike)

by **Shangstar** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:44 am

You should try midget bowling/skittles. Is much fun. Instead of using a bowling ball, you use a...........

by **mat** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 11:46 am

The funny thing is, the Jaguar is actually serious. He does want to hire an in house Midget.

by **thewalrus** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:14 pm

he is serious. He's looking for a little person to be his live in butler.... love it!

by **Shangstar** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:24 pm

Hunchback a plus? Why? Does he want to use him as a footstool or something?

by **sienna** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:38 pm

Jaguar: you are a very bad person, did you know that?

by **Rumpelstiltskin** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:45 pm

sienna wrote:Jaguar: you are a very bad person, did you know that?

How exactly is it "bad" to give job to a disabled person ?

by **Swiss-James** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:56 pm

If you can hire them for a party, I'm sure you can hire them full time.

Jesus- do I have to join the dots for you?!

by **MrPuxi** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 2:03 pm

what max height does still qualify as midget? when does one start being a dwarf?
anyways, those are technicalities. love the idea of a midge!

what are you going to call him?

by **Chingis** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 2:06 pm

^Presumably he will already come with a name, as with most other humans....

by **MrPuxi** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 2:13 pm

... but he is a midget! what's the fun having a midget in your club if you can't name him?!

"frodo" would be boring, "tiny" really not suitable, "big guy" also seems off... what's it gonna be, i really am curious!

by **thewalrus** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 2:23 pm

sienna wrote:Jaguar: you are a very bad person, did you know that?

why is he a bad person? Better than being one of the friggin' Lollipop Guild...

by **thewalrus** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 2:25 pm

MrPuxi wrote:... but he is a midget! what's the fun having a midget in your club if you can't name him?!

"frodo" would be boring, "tiny" really not suitable, "big guy" also seems off... what's it gonna be, i really am curious!

Hugo.

His name will Hugo...

Ask Jaguar

by **iara** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 2:27 pm

He could be called "Tattoo" like the one in Fantasy Island!

But, seriously, I'm also looking for someone, ok, not a midget, but a barman that could make non-alcoholic drinks (what's the fun, I know...) and play with glasses and bottles, for a leather fair in september. If somebody knows someone, please tell me!
Ok, as this is a leather business fair, packed with men, I will be having husband and all his company colleagues at my knees if I could get a nice woman as a "barman" or it would be a "barwoman"?

ops, Sorry Jaguar, I will have my own topic about it...

by **thickchick** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 2:47 pm

OP - this is officially my "The strangest thing you have seen in Shanghai" story.

by **The Jaguar** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 3:45 pm

I need to apologize to You all as my post was not clear.
1. I am serious.
2. Budget is around 2000rmb per month, lodging and food provided ( as i dont think a midget gonna eat much.)
3. There is an aye already coming to clean.
4. The Butler, Hugo, gonna be in charge of The Club, preparing drinks, changing dvd, cutting cigars: a Butler.
5. He will need to work 5 days a week from 9 to 11, during the week. sometimes during the week end , but not always.
6. He will well treated.

by **The Jaguar** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 4:00 pm

7. If you know a midget: send him to The Park's Tavern on Sunday for interview.
hihihihihihihi

by **8lrr8** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 4:04 pm

will he need to wear a tux?

by **The Jaguar** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 4:10 pm

Of Course. This will be provided.

by **Cambronne** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 5:38 pm

Is a woman-midget ok? One of my old girlfriends.

by **Rumpelstiltskin** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 5:44 pm

Yow about an amputee ? He is short too

by **victorinchina** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 6:50 pm

wikipedia wrote:Dwarfism (pronounced /ˈdwɔrfɪzəm/) is a medical term describing a person of short stature. In Anglo Saxon world some defined it as being a person with an adult height of less than 4 feet 10 inches (147 cm).

Shouldn't be hard to find one here...

Wait.... I think I can see one out the window now...

by **The Jaguar** » Fri Jun 05, 2009 6:52 pm

Hanchback a plus. As in Italy this is very lucky.
Woman Midget: No no. Very bad luck.

Looking for a Midget Butler

Looking for a Midget Butler

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