Why I titled the thread the way I did is that I want the ladies advice, lol. Ok, I've went out with this women twice for the past month, talked on the phone or texted messaged almost every day. I've probably texted her more than she has me, but we knew everything about one another. We had already talked on the phone a few days before we went out, almost everyday. She already knew alot about me from her friend and all I knew was from what she told me on the phone. She knew about my past, which as been rocky and I knew some about hers. We liked almost the same things, both had been cheated on in a relationship. So we had alot in common, both bad and good. First date, we both were nervous and I was totally unperpared. I made it through it thinking I had bombed out, but she called me later and we talked. I told her I was nervous and she said that was fine. Then we just kept talking on the phone and texting. We went out again a couple of weeks later, out to eat and the movies. First date, no holding hands nothing like that, just talking a little. On second date we were at the movies and I held her hand, but wasn't for sure if it bothered her or not, my idea. After that she drove me home and dropped me off, no good night sugar, lol, nothing like that. I think she was still a little nervous and I was too. We may be going out this weekend, not for sure. I have backed off on my calling and texting because I thought it may be bothering her. I was trying to figure out if she was interested or not, I posted another question about that earlier. Anyway I've backed off and she texts me almost everyday after she gets off of work, or at night. I try to talk on the phone at least every other night or 3 or 4 times a week. I've backed off more now than I had the first couple of weeks, I was just afriad she was going to think I was not interested. I've been trying to see signs she's interested but I just don't know. I was wondering if you ladies could tell me from what I have posted if she may be. She works in the morning time, then talks to some of her family in the afternoon, and me some. She has never been married, I have. She says everyone she has gone out with is either a jerk or just wrapped up in their selves. I don't believe I'm like that. Is there some signs I can watch for or does it sound like I'm doing good. Thanks in advance.

She's interested. If she wasn't interested she wouldn't be sending you messages everyday. I am guessing this is a Chinese lady? From what my Chinese gf's tell me, if your intentions aren't clear then she wouldn't bother with you, ie - she is not going to date you for something to do, it'll be for a long term commitment like marriage.
She might be thinking you're not interested now because you've backed off. Not that I think is a wrong tactic or anything. It would be probably arise more interest from her then. I am guessing trust is a big thing for her, so you need to make her feel secure. Once she trusts you she will open up more. You could send her some romantic messages Nothing over the top, something like "Just wanted to tell you I was thinking about you" or "I just saw a great restaurant I'd like to take you to one night" It shows that you are a) thinking about her and b)putting some kind of "future" into the relationship.
Anyway just my 2 cents. I hope it all works out, which I am sure it will. Good luck!

hard to tell from your description.

If she's very young, say <25 y.o., she sent you sms doesn't necessarily mean she's interested in you for a relationship. If she's older, I guess she at least think you are worthwhile for further contact, because older women, especially chinese, are quite result oriented and not interested in wasting time dating around. She didn't ask you out - that's so normal, most chinese women will withhold their feeling even if they have a burning desire to contact you, she's waiting for your move.

However, whether she's interested really depends on the way she talked with you, with passion or not?, the way she looked at you, with her eyes fixed on you for over 5 secs ever?

You are being too cautious and showing in0confidence. Women are always attracted by men's courage, boldness and confidence even if you are not attractive to them at first sight. You should be straightforward as you are a man (but certainly not forcing either)

First of all - this girl is probably Chinese. Whole new set of rules.

This whole American notion of 'Game' works with two kinds of young women; American girls or drunk chicks you pick up in bars in Shanghai.

This girl doesn't sound like either.

Whatever values, concepts, notions or any other ideologies you might have in your head about the opposite sex, forget all of that when you get off the plane at PVG.


Hope this helps.

She is interested but if she has dated many jerks she may be a little bit cautious for the obvious reasons and she may be looking to test the waters and see 'signs' (meaning to see signs that you are jerk) so she can back off.

If you are looking for a quickie, I suggest you to move on quickly (China has tons of sluts to offer you, no need to be chasing and wasting time), if you are interested I will say take it easy and slow. Don't call her 20 times a day (cause you look psicho) but definitely respond to her when she texts or calls you.

Bottom line, you are doing well, just take it slow.

sort of like high school, now isn't it?

usually what works is just straight out honesty. if you are serious, tell her. women tend to be interested in guys who are honest, open and not afraid to tell. the whole "playa" thing is fine if you pick up drunk chicks for fun, there should be sufficient advise for this around this forum. if your intentions are "good", women appreciate that. but then again, i get my advice on women from my wife..

told mrs puxi she was hot the first night i met her, called her the next day promptly at noon, dragged her to lunch ("really want to see you again.."). went out for a month or so, told her she was still hot, kept dating and going out. proposed 9 months later. now married. everything cool. that is how real players roll..

There is potential... but you need to find out.

From my point of view, she is interested, but wants more observation. Girls do that sometimes, sending you tons of text msg doesn't mean she want to go further, maybe she just enjoying the friendship for now.
But just like others said, better just be honestly, try be more aggressive, let her face her feelings about you. Sometimes the waiting/observation game just keep on and on then the sparks gone. Not worth it.

if i may ask, how old are you and her?
anyway, first be certain what you are after.
and i agree, there is no reason for playing the game.
just be honest.
if she likes you, then another 2 happy people in the world.
if she doesnt then less wasted time of wondering.
no point delaying joy or pain.

The girl says everyone she dated was a jerk? If a guy would say me this about his exes, I'd never see him again. Exes like dead people, say good or nothing. And if she always dated jerks, may be she is not that smart herself.

ha ha^ so your basically calling op a jerk. i like the smoke that comes from your mouth from your pic. unfuck you too.

op theres a serious leeson in what unfuckyou has said. if she does have a penchant for jerkoffs, and she likes you just the way you are. perhaps your are jerk and you dont know it. : o

^ If you'd been here nearly 2 years earlier, you might have gotten an argument from her.

: (

MrPuxi wrote:sort of like high school, now isn't it?

usually what works is just straight out honesty. if you are serious, tell her. women tend to be interested in guys who are honest, open and not afraid to tell. the whole "playa" thing is fine if you pick up drunk chicks for fun, there should be sufficient advise for this around this forum. if your intentions are "good", women appreciate that. but then again, i get my advice on women from my wife..

told mrs puxi she was hot the first night i met her, called her the next day promptly at noon, dragged her to lunch ("really want to see you again.."). went out for a month or so, told her she was still hot, kept dating and going out. proposed 9 months later. now married. everything cool. that is how real players roll..

China's not America. Indirect communication tends to be preferred -- directness is seen as "childish."