A little while back I posted a comment about living in either Shanghai or Nanjing. Thanks for all the responses.

My husband's company has asked us to get prepared for a "look and see" trip for us to get an idea of whether or not we would like to move our family to China.

We have a 2 yo and a 4 mos old. My Mom will care for our 2 yo during the trip. I'm currently breastfeeding my 4 mos old and so at first we thought we would bring him with us on the trip. My Mom offered to take the 4 mos old too...which got me thinking, would it be better to wean him and leave him here with my Mom. I hate the thought of doing that and of being separated from him at this early age. That said, the week that we'd be there, we'd be touring non-stop (housing, amenities, preschools) in both Shanghai and Nanjing. He would be on the road constantly (in our arms, stroller, or sling). I'm wondering if the time zone interruption to his sleep patterns coupled with the high pace week would be worse for him then switching to formula and missing a week of his life.

Anyone being in our shoes? What thoughts/advice/suggestions do you have?

Thanks,

Sarah

When to stop breastfeeding is one of those really personal things. For me, I would not have wanted to stop so early. I traveled from the UK to the US when my daughter was about 4 months, to help take care of my mom who was ill. Honestly it never occurred to me to stop, but then, I didn't have the offer of someone to help out - for me the thought of all the faff of sterilising bottles etc would have been too much to bear; life was so hectic in that time I look back on it now and wonder how I managed. Plus, I'd fully intended to breastfeed exclusively for the first 6 months, and also I think I'd just really have hated to give up that special time between us so early. However if you are thinking you wanted to wean soon anyway, and you think your week (and his) would be made considerably easier by having him stay with your mother, one week apart certainly isn't going to be the end of the world for either of you.

Thanks Klick for your reply. I would never even consider ending the nursing relationship this soon, except for the circumstances. Wondering whether the trip to China would be harder on him/us then giving him a bottle for a week with the possibility of resuming upon our return to the US. I nursed my 2yo until he was 15 mos old and would love to do the same for the 2nd one. Just trying to understand the overall affect of the night and day time zone difference on both ends of the trip. Would he be better off in my Mom's care?

We traveled extensively with an infant-its the easiest time ever to travel with a child. Time zones mean nothing to an infant as they have naps during the day and wake for night feedings. You will touring nonstop and taking the baby along and along and along. Look-sees are not easy trips, many decisions at once and never all the info. Just know there will be some times when you tell hubby to go check it out while you stay at the hotel and meet up later. Hope you are comfortable with nursing on plane and in car.
You, of course, can pump while away and resume when you get home-you don't have to stop.

Frankly much easier with the infant than the 2 year old.

Thanks mmhm for your thoughts! It is funny how the 2 yo is a constant reminder to us of how easy our infant is...

If we do opt to leave him w my mom, i will bring my pump for sure. A bit worried that he will go back to breast, but i'm sure we can figure that part out.

My daughter was very much a 'sleepy baby' and I don't think she cared what time zone we were in, she slept as she pleased and woke when it suited her. I think if you are comfortable with keeping him in a sling, and he's not the sort of baby that needs perfect dark/quiet to sleep, I should think you and he would be fine.

But also, I can definitely see the appeal of letting Mom handle everything too!

Thanks Klick! He's pretty much sleeping thru the night now...7:30pmish to 5ish (up to feed) and then back down til 7:30ish (as long as big bro does not wake him). Naps are less routine. Seems to sleep 45 min or so in his bed, but will do 2 plus hour jags in his car seat. We're on the road more during the day do to 2yo schedule. He's never been slung so not sure how that would go. Doesn't care much for the Bjorn...where his big bro loved it. We've spent 4 mos working at the night time sleep and i'm so afraid we'd be back to square one.

I can see big advantages on both sides...hmmmmm...

Are there any issues with immunisations?

Hi Sarah,

I first travelled with my now 10 month old son when he was 9 weeks and it was the easiest journey! The older he's got the more active and less likely to sleep for long periods! and it's even easier if you're breastfeeding as no sterilisation or baby food to worry about. so I would say travelling with a 4 month old wouldn't be that hard here. Even if you're running around a lot, the chances are he'll sleep - of course it all depends on your baby's personality but I found (and still find!) that the busier I am, the happier the baby is - he just loves to watch the world go by! and if he's on my front in a baby carrier he's happy for hours.

You would have to think of a few things though. For starters, will you have a car and driver here while you are looking around? If not, you should know that most taxis don't have seatbelts (admittedly there are lots of new ones for the expo but I haven't managed to catch one yet and it's never guaranteed that you'll be able to find one when you need it!). A lot of people don't bother with cars seats here but it all depends on how comfortable you are with that. An alternative, if you're carrying your baby is the metro (I wouldn't recommend it with a stroller) which is clean and easy but maybe a bit daunting for your first visit! A stroller is a must to bring (even better if you have one that has a car seat attachment) and I found it really helpful to get my son used to his travel cot before we left so that he was in familiar surroundings wherever we were. I would also highly recommend a baby carrier of some sort (I use an Ergo which I love! and I have a very big baby!) - there will be lots of places that you won't be able to take the stroller and it's much easier to just pop the baby in there and carry him.

A couple of things that might help you if you do decide to bring your baby and/or move here:

www.shanghaitoyclub.net is a great resource for hiring baby equipment (car seats, travel cots, baby carriers etc if you don't want to bring them all with you)
I'd also recommend that you join the ShanghaiMamas yahoo group and post your questions on there - it's fine to join if you're just thinking about moving here. They are actually starting a new website soon but it's worth joining the yahoo group until that happens. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ShanghaiMamas/ (click on "join this group" in top right corner and follow the instructions - don't let the long application put you off - it's totally worth it!)

Hope some of that helps in your decision - if you have any specific questions please feel free to pm me

Hangzhou

GC...we're on the regular vaccination schedule. Planning to see pediatrician about additional immunizations for China.

Hangzhou, thanks for the info and for sharing these great sites and contacts.

Alas, i believe we've made the decision to have my Mom care for both boys.

I've spoken to a lactation consultant and she feels pretty confident that i will be able to resume the nursing relationship as long as i pump while away.

Thanks to all for your input and thoughts.

Looks like we'll be in Shanghai and Nanjing the last week in May. Excited and overwhelmed

I look forward to more chats about family life in Shanghai!