Last week I tried to pick up expat girls in Shanghai clubs. I tend to have high standards so I usually go for the prettiest "good girls". This kind of girls go to clubs together with a lot of friends so its very hard to get anything physical going with them right there. I did get a couple of numbers but I could not see them the next days.

Don't tell me that their high standards is the problem. I'm 180, very fit, well above average looking and I don't have to lie about my job..

So what is the problem? Do expat girls have prejudices about the guys that they meet in Shanghai clubs? Some of them were tourists only staying in Shanghai for a couple of days/weeks so its comprehensible, but others were real "expats" or students..

My theory is that if they gave me their phone numbers right there it means they liked me. But then their conscience kicked in and they didn't want to meet "that guy from the club". What is your opinion? Do expat girls prefer to only date guys from their circle of friends or from social activities?

wolfyx wrote:This kind of girls go to clubs together with a lot of friends so its very hard to get anything physical going with them right there. Do expat girls have prejudices about the guys that they meet in Shanghai clubs?

I'm confused, you 'expect' to get physical with a 'nice girl' 30 seconds after you meet her in a bar?, mmm if she is a 'nice girl' chances are she won't unless she is wasted.

Well regarding guys that you meet at clubs here in Shanghai, ahh in general they are for a one night of MEDIOCRE drunken sex (if that is your cup of tea, you may go for it) but in general is never for more than that so yes there may be a little bit of prejudice sometimes, Why bother?, ya know

The good thing is that Shanghai has millions of bad girls that will sort you out .

Maybe you are simply a douche ?

I dont think that what I am can be defined as a douche for the common definition of a douche. I will use the disclaimer that now I am quite drunk so all I say should not be used against me. I live in this world but I dont follow its trend. I do have a measured IQ of 140 but thats not nearly enough of a quality to actually make a difference. I feel above greed and jealousy because I understand their reason. I understand that I am mortal and I want to make something out of this short life. I dont want to be a product of my environment, I want my environment to be a product of me. I mean have an influence on the system. Live for something. I will stop writing because I will write nonsense if I continue because I feel quite not OK. See you

wolfyx wrote:Don't tell me that their high standards is the problem. I'm 180, very fit, well above average looking and I don't have to lie about my job..

wolfyx wrote:I dont think that what I am can be defined as a douche for the common definition of a douche. I will use the disclaimer that now I am quite drunk so all I say should not be used against me. I live in this world but I dont follow its thread. I do have a measured IQ of 140 but thats not nearly enough of a quality to actually make a difference.

Ok...

Those who know me would know usually this would be a missile lock for me. However you did say you're drunk, and maybe you started from early this afternoon when you first posted. I don't recall you posting this dribble before and god knows we've all done and said stupid things when we're pissed, so here's a pass.

Take a couple of panadols (or whatever), drink a lot of water and sleep it off and tomorrow have a fresh look at this.

Cheers mate




PS: For the most part douches, losers, "hey I'm cool with the Chicks" wannabes and Chinese girls who have been screwed over by some expat douche post on this forum. I can understand Chinese girls posting here confused about understanding western culture, but you are not a girl, are you? Do you even read through the topics of this forum? If you have relationship problems (hell we all do mate) you will not get answers here. These issues / problems have to be sorted out IRL, not on a forum.

Well hats of to you for having the balls to even do the approach and an extra pat on the back for scoring a few numbers.

I wouldn't think too much at this point and especially wouldn't enter a bar with pre-conceptions. Just do what works, be the man and switch on the confidence bulb. Essentially women in bars are all the same, they all want your attention.

A dog that gets beaten and abused repeatedly while young will end up being hostile and unfriendly to everybody when it gets older. It is a self-defense mechanism. Shanghai expat girls are in general used to being over-looked because by their expat male counterparts because of hot Chinese girls.

That is why they develop an over-inflated sense of self-esteem "I'm too good for this **** anyway" attitude just to keep their sanity. They treat everybody like **** just because they're so afraid of the experience in Shanghai and the threat of being rejected or dumped for a Chinese chick.

I'm always in wonder where all those people come from that they expect all the girls to fall for them.
At home I played wing man for a very good friend nearly a year long while he was 'recovering' from a bad ended relationship. Tis guy had money, trained together with sport pros and was a bright boy on top. And no, he didn't score all the time. Quite seldom actually, compared to what I would have expected.
Kudos for you to chat up to the ladies (side note to NL: you see, I can learn to avoid the word girls), for I would be way to shy. But maybe you need to readjust your expectations.

^^Er, wrong...
Lets look at alternative views.
Not all foreign women in Shanghai are expats, anyone on holiday or visiting friends may not want to be bothered with bar pick ups. They may have boyfriends back home. Some of the foreign guys you see walking around with Chinese dates are simply foreign tourists looking to enjoy their holiday on every level.

Expat women might have a BF or husband at home or in their home country.

Given that the expat gig is not4ever they may have decided that they'd focus on work, friends and then when ready go home, meet a nice guy/girl and settle. Which is certainly what a number of my female friends have done. Expat women are not so enamored to be gaining a set of in-law folk, and so different a set of cultural expectations in this country. Men may not even consider this stuff while women do.

If 10% of an expat woman's dating experiences is in China but the other 90% is home or in combination with other experiences in other countries they are hardly likely to base a sense of self on the China syndrome now are they Henrik. Expats were not actually born into their expat bubble and for the most part it is not their formative years.

It looks to me like many expat women are trailing spouses but these women go out with their single female friends so inflate the actual numbers of expat women seen out in groups. The percentage of female expats and single female expats is not that high.

OP if you are, even a foreign educated, Chinese national guy any disinterest of expat women might be based on exposure to, observations of this culture, Some women are disinclined to date Chinese nationals. Sure foreign women who have not lived here will, in their home country, if they meet an appealing Chinese guy at university or work. But here, living here and seeing, the apparent behaviour of middle class and wealthy Chinese men towards women of their own culture is a bit off putting even if there are always exceptions. In a work place setting rather than a bar expat women can get to know you over time.

There is no more "wrong" with expat women than there is with expat guys. Many of those, under contract to work here, are doing long hours and carry a bit of stress/pressure and alienation in this context as so much of their time is taken up. Now I'll jump to some generalized conclusions Henrik. The expat guys find an easy out and availability to date local girls. Often, initially it seems easier to be with local girls but maybe later some guys realize it is not easier, for various reasons.

It would be interesting to see just what the actual percentage of marriages between expat guys and local girls turns out to be. Maybe 10% but 30%-40% are already married to women from home or their wives are still in home country then the remaining, 10% guys are gay, the last 40% are not looking to settle just looking for a cultural sexchange, dating, and have no intention of buying a permanent ticket to an alternative (to their own) culture, via marriage.

henrikolsson wrote:A dog that gets beaten and abused repeatedly while young will end up being hostile and unfriendly to everybody when it gets older. It is a self-defense mechanism. Shanghai expat girls are in general used to being over-looked because by their expat male counterparts because of hot Chinese girls.

That is why they develop an over-inflated sense of self-esteem "I'm too good for this **** anyway" attitude just to keep their sanity. They treat everybody like **** just because they're so afraid of the experience in Shanghai and the threat of being rejected or dumped for a Chinese chick.

That is a very untrue statement you just made. I seen on a regular basis and have experience many great conversations with expat guys. I'm not sure I would say al the Chinese girls are "hot", but they are making themselves available which is what a drunk expat is looking for if coming to a club.

I love talking and dancing with expat guys if they behave themselves. Usually it's not the case when they have too much to drink. The "hot" Chinese girls are welcome to them.

What anter said. (Only I'd say that it's the first time a lot of younger male expats have been able to experience male privilege in its rawest form, so they're taking advantage of the fact that this society spoils them rotten -- especially because a frightening proportion of them are considered losers at home.)

wolfyx wrote:Last week I tried to pick up expat girls in Shanghai clubs. I tend to have high standards so I usually go for the prettiest "good girls". This kind of girls go to clubs together with a lot of friends so its very hard to get anything physical going with them right there. I did get a couple of numbers but I could not see them the next days.

Don't tell me that their high standards is the problem. I'm 180, very fit, well above average looking and I don't have to lie about my job..

So what is the problem? Do expat girls have prejudices about the guys that they meet in Shanghai clubs? Some of them were tourists only staying in Shanghai for a couple of days/weeks so its comprehensible, but others were real "expats" or students..

My theory is that if they gave me their phone numbers right there it means they liked me. But then their conscience kicked in and they didn't want to meet "that guy from the club". What is your opinion? Do expat girls prefer to only date guys from their circle of friends or from social activities?

Expat girls don't care as much as Chinese girls do about a man's looks or job. It sounds like (a) you're doing something that comes off as socially awkward and/or (b) you're not as hot as you think you are to Westerners, which means you're aiming for girls who are out of your league.

And no, giving a guy your phone number doesn't always mean that we're into you. Sometimes we do it to make men leave us alone without starting a fight.

One last thing: don't believe everything you see on tv. Western women aren't as easy as Chinese people think we are. In fact, all of the ones I know in China are far more conservative (i.e., traditional) than Chinese girls.

tihZ_hO wrote:Those who know me would know usually this would be a missile lock for me.

Haha. You are right I was pretty drunk that day. I have the excuse that it was my birthday so don't rush to call me an alcoholic.

Dear Board Buddha tihz_hO you have my permission to lock your missile on whoever you want. Having a clear target is more fun then posting aimlessly on the forum.

For example I am very tempted to missile lock caisghost here. She represents the archetype of all I can possibly hate in western women. The downside may be that this will get all the other good ladies posting on this forum to turn against me. But that would be small sacrifice for a greater cause..

The problem is that I don't have enough time on my hands right now to launch enough missiles at her and her intellectual, yet bitter and bigoted posts to sink her little (ship of) confidence.

try to develop some charm maybe.

right now your just coming off as a guy whos firmly stuck up his own bumhole.

I m pretty sure OP is not chinese as some of the lady analysts take as a given here

caisghost wrote:And no, giving a guy your phone number doesn't always mean that we're into you. Sometimes we do it to make men leave us alone without starting a fight.

That's just so wrong. The guy might have had other targets for the night. But fully invested his time into this western b1tch who was never really into him and gave him her number (could be fake). The selfish expat b1tch made the guy waste his time and opportunities all cause she didn't want to reject and be just nice. This just tells everyone that expat women are just not honest at all. No respect at all. Intentions here are so Fked up its the reason why Pick Up Artist books are big business.

And no Chinese girls are not that easy at all unless they like you. They do reject a lot. But the reason you will see Expat guys getting them is because Chinese girls reject them on the spot giving them time to go for other opportunities. And when the Chinese girl actually do give him her phone number is because she's interested. Intentions are clear here. So clear that you know if she wants just your money or you as a person.

Moroes wrote:

caisghost wrote:And no, giving a guy your phone number doesn't always mean that we're into you. Sometimes we do it to make men leave us alone without starting a fight.

That's just so wrong. The guy might have had other targets for the night. But fully invested his time into this western b1tch who was never really into him and gave him her number (could be fake). The selfish expat b1tch made the guy waste his time and opportunities all cause she didn't want to reject and be just nice. This just tells everyone that expat women are just not honest at all. No respect at all. Intentions here are so Fked up its the reason why Pick Up Artist books are big business.

And no Chinese girls are not that easy at all unless they like you. They do reject a lot. But the reason you will see Expat guys getting them is because Chinese girls reject them on the spot giving them time to go for other opportunities. And when the Chinese girl actually do give him her phone number is because she's interested. Intentions are clear here. So clear that you know if she wants just your money or you as a person.

Sounds like you think that your time is somehow worth more than the girl's that you are trying to pick up. Most girls actually need to talk to a guy before they decide weather they want to go out with them.
If after talking they decide that they dont want to go out most girls will give a few excuses and try to leave the conversation. In general is only the really persistent, irritating guys that get fake numbers.

If a girl just rejects you on the spot it means they are just rejecting you on physical attributes.
It is not the girl's responsibilty to ensure that you get laid, and there is no-one forcing you to talk to her. If you dont want to invest time into letting girls get to know you then why dont you just go pick up a hooker? It is cheaper in the long run, you dont need to worry about conversation and it is a sure thing.

Christin90 wrote: Sounds like you think that your time is somehow worth more than the girl's that you are trying to pick up. Most girls actually need to talk to a guy before they decide weather they want to go out with them.
If after talking they decide that they dont want to go out most girls will give a few excuses and try to leave the conversation. In general is only the really persistent, irritating guys that get fake numbers.

If a girl just rejects you on the spot it means they are just rejecting you on physical attributes.
It is not the girl's responsibilty to ensure that you get laid, and there is no-one forcing you to talk to her. If you dont want to invest time into letting girls get to know you then why dont you just go pick up a hooker? It is cheaper in the long run, you dont need to worry about conversation and it is a sure thing.

But what we are talking about here is a club environment. There you are lucky if you can hear each others name right, let alone discuss philosophy...

Most of the communication is non verbal in fact. Each others body attitude says a lot more then words. Kino escalation is the only way to build some kind of connection in that environment, if the circumstances allow it. If they don't, I just take the number and leave. And I always call her on the spot to make sure its the right number. But if the interaction was short and had no significant impact on her, chances are that she will not answer the "lets meet for a coffee" message the third day after.

A girl doesn't have to be bad to kiss a guy, that she likes and who does everything right, 5 minutes after starting dancing with each other. In fact that is how I have met the girl I had a relationship of many years with. And she was the very definition of "nice girl". We kissed 5 minutes after me approaching her in a club, then we met some days later and took it from there.

I think its an insult to men when women think that guys just want to get laid. We all want that AND more. We are not animals. We all want to meet the kind of girl that we can connect with physically, emotionally and intellectually. And yes it is possible to meet her everywhere, even in clubs.

Moroes wrote:

caisghost wrote:And no, giving a guy your phone number doesn't always mean that we're into you. Sometimes we do it to make men leave us alone without starting a fight.

That's just so wrong. The guy might have had other targets for the night. But fully invested his time into this western b1tch who was never really into him and gave him her number (could be fake). The selfish expat b1tch made the guy waste his time and opportunities all cause she didn't want to reject and be just nice.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with protecting yourself. What's wrong is the fact that so many guys (a) can't read signals, and (b) become belligerent when you try to say no. If you can't tell that a woman isn't into you, you don't need a PUA manual -- you need basic f***ing social skills.

I, for one, am going to cry river over the fact that MRA's can't read signals and then blame the women for their social ineptitude. Boo f***ing hoo.

And no Chinese girls are not that easy at all unless they like you. They do reject a lot. But the reason you will see Expat guys getting them is because Chinese girls reject them on the spot giving them time to go for other opportunities. And when the Chinese girl actually do give him her phone number is because she's interested. Intentions are clear here. So clear that you know if she wants just your money or you as a person.

Someone's clearly not reading this site's advice requests....

Ignored.

Christin90 wrote: Sounds like you think that your time is somehow worth more than the girl's that you are trying to pick up. Most girls actually need to talk to a guy before they decide weather they want to go out with them.
If after talking they decide that they dont want to go out most girls will give a few excuses and try to leave the conversation. In general is only the really persistent, irritating guys that get fake numbers.

If a girl just rejects you on the spot it means they are just rejecting you on physical attributes.
It is not the girl's responsibilty to ensure that you get laid, and there is no-one forcing you to talk to her. If you dont want to invest time into letting girls get to know you then why dont you just go pick up a hooker? It is cheaper in the long run, you dont need to worry about conversation and it is a sure thing.

This. A thousand times this.

The only thing is that I think you forget that PUAs/MRAs have a very distorted idea of what women want. They really believe the line that it's all about appearance and money.

wolfyx wrote:But what we are talking about here is a club environment. There you are lucky if you can hear each others name right, let alone discuss philosophy...

Most of the communication is non verbal in fact. Each others body attitude says a lot more then words. Kino escalation is the only way to build some kind of connection in that environment, if the circumstances allow it. If they don't, I just take the number and leave. And I always call her on the spot to make sure its the right number. But if the interaction was short and had no significant impact on her, chances are that she will not answer the "lets meet for a coffee" message the third day after.

A girl doesn't have to be bad to kiss a guy, that she likes and who does everything right, 5 minutes after starting dancing with each other. In fact that is how I have met the girl I had a relationship of many years with. And she was the very definition of "nice girl". We kissed 5 minutes after me approaching her in a club, then we met some days later and took it from there.

I think its an insult to men when women think that guys just want to get laid. We all want that AND more. We are not animals. We all want to meet the kind of girl that we can connect with physically, emotionally and intellectually. And yes it is possible to meet her everywhere, even in clubs.

1) There are always quieter areas in clubs. Most girls won't give their phone number to a guy just because he's cute and dances well.

2) Dancing is often more about her than it is about you. It's why straight women like gay bars -- you get all the fun of dancing without the creepy stalkers.

3) I suggest you spend more time talking to PUAs/MRAs. Actually, don't. Just trust me when I tell you that they're the ones who really buy the "it's all about sex/women just want guys who are rich/women are useless if they're not going to f**k you or clean your house" spiels.

...Which is unfortunately pretty true in China. That's good for Western women, because they tend to self-select for jobs here. However, it's not so good for female Western expats.

Moroes wrote:This just tells everyone that expat women are just not honest at all. No respect at all.

How funny, I always thought the same about Chinese girls.

Nekta wrote:

Moroes wrote:This just tells everyone that expat women are just not honest at all. No respect at all.

How funny, I always thought the same about Chinese girls.

So maybe the women/girls part is what results in not beeing honest or respectfull
At least there you both can aggree ...

am I the only one who thinks that the guy is an intellectual troll, just like hlbb?
tells us his "measured" IQ
brags about his job
tells us that "he's sexy and he knows it"
but
can't pick up white girls...

thus, creating a problem


he is more than perfectly normal and awesome white male, but can't get laid.
young version of yunnanexpat?

Ooops, I was waiting for this to come because I wrote some dumb **** while I was drunk.

You think I have a problem getting laid? In fact I got laid enough to get bored. I passed the first 6 month frenzy after arriving here and I got bored of all the easy and shallow girls that you can get in this town.

You call this post troll but it instigated some very insightful and interesting responses from anter and the others.

As for bragging. Yes I consider myself a smart guy I can pick a words fight with you, minyanville, on this forum whenever, wherever. If you want to take it “outside” I don’t mind either…

wolfyx wrote:As for bragging. Yes I consider myself a smart guy I can pick a words fight with you,

are you being ironic?

Somewhere on this forum there is the v 1.0 of this topic.

whats-the-problem-with-expat-girls-in-shanghai-t137537.html?hilit

The guy that posted it was put down for being “ugly”, an “english teacher” or whatever. The thread turned into a troll feast and nothing good came out of it...

I had brag in order to avoid this (you don’t even know if what I say is true because wolfyx is my internet identity). The IQ part was unnecessary because everybody can see how smart I am from my posts..

So yes this thread was intended to be a troll. And I was a “good troll” because I provoked interesting, well thought answers from both guys and ladies…